


Written In The Stars

by phoenixwaller



Series: Written In The Stars Verse [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Space, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Grieving, Happy Ending, Loss, M/M, MinaStino if you squint, Possible background OtaYuri, Slow Burn, Space Husbands, dunno for sure yet, end goal Victuri, i think, space travel, tags may and probably will change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-02-15 00:04:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 89,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13019058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/pseuds/phoenixwaller
Summary: Yuri Katsuki is a scientist aboard a deep space research vessel. Their mission is to chart and study a black hole, but when there's an accident Yuri is forced to abandon ship. Alone and adrift he can only watch as his husband, Phichit, and all their friends are killed. Then, with rescue likely years away, he goes into stasis.Victor Nikiforov is the young captain of an exploration vessel. Known for his charisma it is his job to make first contact and establish friendly relationships with other space-faring societies. But his curiosity is piqued when his crew detects an old distress signal, and finds a lone survivor from a ship lost nearly a hundred years before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So originally I had planned this to be a one-shot for a zine, but when I wasn't accepted I decided to expand on this. I have no idea how long it'll be. It may be a handful of chapters or longer, it's gonna depend on how the characters wanna act. 
> 
> There may be smut, there may not be. Who knows so watch for evolving tags and ratings. There's the possibility of background OtaYuri, but in this AU they didn't even meet until Yuri was a cadet at the space academy, and over 18. 
> 
> Everybody is aged up approximately 7 years over canon. 
> 
> If you like this please let me know in comments.

Klaxons blared through the ship, their grating declarations adding to the cacophony of running and yelling. Yuri stumbled from his quarters, wakened by the alarms and the instinct to report to his station.

Somebody bumped into Yuri, running through the narrow hall, and almost knocked him over. Yuri flattened himself against the wall, catching his balance and trying to force the remaining sleep from his mind. He had a job to do.

Yuri was halfway to his assigned post in the astrophysics lab when a familiar pair of hands grabbed his arm. He turned to see Phichit standing behind him, a look of panic on his face.

“Phichit,” Yuri mumbled, “What’s…”

“No time!” Phichit declared, tugging Yuri in the opposite direction. “Come with me!”

“But my station…” Yuri protested weakly, still too tired to form coherent thought.

“Captain’s orders!” Phichit cried, tugging harder on Yuri. “Come on!”

Yuri stumbled after Phichit, allowing himself to be led until they stopped at the end of a short hall and Phichit punched a code into a control panel. It was only as the round door slid to the side did Yuri realize that he had been led to an escape pod.

“Get those data modules in here!” Phichit ordered of two men carrying bulky boxes toward them. “Hurry!”

Yuri watched as several more teams brought boxes of data to the pod, filling it almost completely. Then he and Phichit were alone beside the pod.

“Phichit… what’s?”

Yuri was interrupted again by Phichit pulling him into his arms and kissing him deeply.

“There’s no time Yuri,” Phichit said as they separated. “We’re out of time. I’m out of time. I’m doing the only thing I can, the only option left. I’m letting you go, in the hopes you find your happiness.”

Yuri froze and looked at his husband. “Phichit, what’s going on?” he finally managed to ask.

Phichit shook his head, attempting to push Yuri into the escape pod.

Yuri held his ground. “Tell me.”

Phichit’s eyes flicked to the pod, then back to Yuri’s face. “Captain Celestino ordered us closer. All the data indicated that we were clear of any danger, but something happened. We think there was something caught close enough to the singularity that we couldn’t see it, but once it was pulled in enough it made the perimeter expand.”

Yuri’s eyes widened.

“There was a matter ejection. Engines were damaged.” Phichit paused. “We’re being pulled in Yuri. We’re trapped in the gravity well, and will be at the event horizon within the hour. The ship is too heavy to escape on what power we have left. The escape pods on the port side were stripped away by the gravity almost immediately, and the system is malfunctioning. This is the only pod left.”

Yuri went rigid until Phichit started to push him to the opening again. “Why is all this data in here then?” he protested. “We need this space for as many people as possible!”

Phichit shook his head, and Yuri could read the sorrow in his eyes. “No Yuri. Before the black hole expanded we got some of the best readings we’ve ever taken. There was a probe inside the event horizon. It sent back data that has the potential to save millions of lives as man leaves Earth for the stars en masse. We have to preserve it.”

“But we’re light years away from Earth!” Yuri argued. “Even if the pod is found it’ll take years, maybe even decades!”

“It’s not going to be easy for you,” Phichit said, tear rolling down his cheek. “You’ll have to go into stasis as soon as you’re out of danger. I don’t know how long until you’re rescued, if you’re rescued. But you have to try.”

“Me? Aren’t you coming?”

Phichit shook his head again. “No Yuri. There’s only room for one.”

“But I don’t know how to pilot an escape pod!”

“I’ve already programmed your trajectory,” Phichit replied, holding Yuri close. He then started to push Yuri toward the opening. “You need to go. We think you’ll have just enough thrust to escape, but every second you stay reduces that chance.”

Yuri stopped. “No, you should go. You’ll have a better chance of escape. You’re the chief engineer, you know tricks to boost power that I don’t.”

Phichit kissed him again. “No Yuri. I’ve programmed everything I can for you already. You have to go… now.”

“But…”

“No!” Phichit cried, squeezing his eyes shut. “Now Yuri!”

Yuri blinked as his normally exuberant but mild-mannered husband pushed him into the pod. It was only as Phichit was preparing to close the hatch that he turned. “Phichit… I…”

Phichit pulled Yuri by his shirt into a final kiss. “Don’t Yuri, not now. This is my gift. I know you never loved me the same way I love you. I’m giving you that chance to find your happiness. I hope you find your true love once you’re rescued.”

Tears pricked at Yuri’s eyes. “You know I always cared.”

“I know, and I know you would have stayed with me. But you were never truly as happy as you could have been. Be happy now Yuri. Never forget me, but I want you to be happy. Promise me you’ll try.”

Tears streamed down Yuri’s face. “I promise Phichit. I’ll look for happiness in every way I can.”

Phichit was crying too as he kissed Yuri. “It’s enough. I love you. Survive. Let humanity know what happened to us. Get this data to scientists back home. Who knows if mankind will ever venture so close again.”

Phichit released Yuri and pushed him clear of the pod’s hatch. Yuri watched his husband’s face as the circular door slid into place and sealed.

“Secure for launch,” a computerized voice sounded through the pod.

Reality hit Yuri, and he scrambled for the command chair. He pulled the safety restraints across his chest just before the pod was flung into space by the launching thrusters. His head hit the seat back, then he reached toward the control panel and turned on the communication system. He set the emergency beacon, and opened a channel to the ship.

“Are you clear Yuri?” Captain Celestino asked.

Yuri looked at the gravitational readings on the panels, then at the acceleration curve. “Acceleration is steady, I appear to be out of the danger zone.”

Celestino sighed in relief. “We weren’t sure you’d make it.” His wife, Minako, walked up behind him and slid her arm around his waist. “It seems Phichit’s idea to overpower the release thrusters worked.”

“What do you mean?” Yuri asked, even as he could see power flickering on the main ship.

Celestino looked away for a second then back to Yuri. “Engines were failing, He knew he couldn’t repair them. He shunted all available power to the pod and the push thrusters.”

The bridge dimmed noticeably behind Celestino. “We’re out of power Yuri.”

“No…”

“Keep this line open as long as possible. We’re sending logs, letters and the data we’re still getting. Our loss won’t be in vain.”

“Captain! You have to try to get the ship clear.”

A cracking sounded over the connection. “We’re too badly damaged.”

“No…”

“We don’t know how long communication will be able to escape the pull. Our probe didn’t get far inside the event horizon, but we did get readings for a while before it was crushed.”

Yuri turned on a screen showing the outside of the pod. The main ship appeared to have slowed, even though the data that it was sending showed that it was actually accelerating toward the black hole as the gravitational pull became stronger.

“Hull breach on deck five,” one of the bridge officers called. “Containment system is offline, we’re venting atmosphere.”

“How long?” Celestino demanded.

“Three, maybe four minutes.”

“Keep sending all data to the pod. I want Earth to be able to extract as much information as possible. Hull stress, gravitational shifts, sensor readings it doesn’t matter. Fill up the computer core until all that’s left is our data and the systems needed to keep Yuri alive.”

“Aye sir.”

“Why me Captain?” Yuri asked.

“Because you’re one of the best. You watched that data come in, helped us refine the algorithms that let us get closer. You know the science as well as anybody on this ship, and you can share that information. And… your husband asked.”

“But my calculations have gotten everybody killed!”

“It’s not your fault Yuri. You had no way of knowing that there was something with enough mass to make the gravitational sphere expand.”

“I should have been more conservative with my calculations!” Yuri protested.

“Your calculations were fine!” Celestino countered. “We were safe at a distance far closer than we’d ever imagined for a week. Even when I moved in closer there were no problems until the matter expulsion.This was an element that was an unknown. You can’t blame yourself for that!”

Yuri chewed on his bottom lip, protest on the tip of his tongue.

“We all knew the risks Yuri.” Celestino said softly. “That’s why the crew requirements were so stringent. Every person on board knew that there was a chance we wouldn’t survive.”

“Two minutes to oxygen depletion.”

Celestino nodded. “You remember escape pod protocols?”

Yuri nodded. “I’ve already set the emergency beacon. Stasis systems are online.”

“Good. Tell our stories Yuri. Make sure our work here saves lives.”

Yuri nodded again.

“Another hull breach, deck two! Oxygen depletion in thirty seconds.”

“All hands. Get into the nearest environmental suits,” Celestino ordered.

The sound of familiar footfalls, then Phichit was on the bridge next to Celestino. “Yuri!”

“Phichit!”

“There’s a letter for you. It’s in my personal logs. Once you’re rescued, once you’re safe, I want you to find it, and read it.”

“I will.”

“Fifteen seconds!”

“I love you.” Phichit said.

“I know.” Yuri reached out and touched the face of his husband on the monitor.

“Be happy. For me. For you.”

Yuri nodded.

“Ten seconds!”

“Yuri,” Celestino started again. “I’m cutting voice communication. You don’t need to watch us die. The computer will send data for as long as possible, either until it’s crushed or data can’t escape.”

“Yes sir…”

“We believe in you Yuri,” Minako said softly. “We all believe in you. Never forget that.”

Yuri nodded again, then the screen went dark. He turned to the external monitors and watched the ship that had been his home for years appear to slow to a standstill as it approached the event horizon.

“Phichit…”

The ship grew smaller on the external monitors as the thrusters continued to put distance between the pod and the ship.

Yuri watched as the computer reported that all life support had failed. Even those who’d managed to get into environmental suits were only prolonging in the hopes of getting as much data as possible. The ship would freeze quickly, and their independent oxygen supplies would run out within hours.

Tears streamed down his face as he prepared the cabin for stasis. He secured the data modules that had shifted on escape, and he sealed all the life support systems.

Once everything was ready Yuri watched the data come in from the ship until it stopped.

Until all his friends were dead.

Yuri was crying as he activated the stasis system.

“Phichit…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Well? More?
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Victor Nikiforov gets a scolding from Admiral Feltsman, and a new mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I thought a few people might like this little space AU, but there's so much excitement. Thank you all for liking it so far. 
> 
> In this chapter we'll get to meet a few more characters. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor strode onto the bridge of his ship, a cup of coffee in his hand and his slate gray uniform jacket draped loosely over one shoulder. “Good morning,” he sing-songed as he set his coffee onto the workstation next to the command chair.

“Good morning sir,” replied Georgi as he handed over a tablet of information from the night watch.

“Anything to report?” Victor asked, grabbing and taking a sip of his coffee as he scanned the tablet.

“A quiet night sir…” Georgi began.

“Good!” Victor replied, returning his attention to the tablet.

“Except…” Georgi continued.

“Except?” Victor asked, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“A communication from Admiral Feltsman came in for you.”

“Was it an emergency?”

“No sir, but he was insistent that you contact him as soon as you’d awakened. In fact, he started contacting the ship every hour just to ensure he didn’t miss you.”

Victor sighed. “Thank you Georgi. Was there anything else?”

“No sir.”

Victor nodded. “Ok, your shift is over.”

Georgi nodded. “Thank you sir.”

Victor waved absentmindedly as he scanned the tablet.

“Sir?”

Victor looked up at the sound, and his eyes settled on his communication officer Otabek. “Yes?”

“Aren’t you going to contact the admiral?”

Victor shook his head. “In a bit.”

Footsteps sounded and Victor turned to see his first officer, Chris stride onto the bridge. “Good morning Chris.”

“Captain,” Chris replied with a smile and a nod.

“How was your evening?”

Chris grinned. “Our hosts showed me to the most incredible club last night. The music was very… erotic… and the other patrons even moreso.” Chris laughed. “I’m considering staying.”

Victor smiled. “I wish their formal communication habits were as carefree as their casual ones.”

Chris took his own chair, suddenly more serious. “They say they can afford freedom in leisure because everything serious is so carefully coordinated.”

Victor sighed.

“Communication coming in sir,” Otabek interrupted. “It’s the admiral.”

Victor sighed again, “Speaking of formal communication.” He rose and turned to his communication officer, “I’ll take it in my office.”

“Aye sir,” Otabek replied.

“Duty calls,” Victor quipped as he strode from the bridge. He tugged his uniform jacket over his blue-gray shirt as he walked.

“Vitya!” Admiral Feltsman scolded as soon as he appeared on the screen. “Why did you miss your scheduled passage negotiations with the Andrathi?”

“Good morning to you too Yakov,” Victor replied as he sat behind the desk.

“Don’t good morning me Vitya. You know what that agreement means. Why did you miss it?”

“We’ve been delayed with the Kriedi,” Victor replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They’re a very… calculating species. Everything has to be carefully defined in any contract. The process makes the human contract negotiation system seem quaint and easygoing. I sent a message to the Andrathi informing them of the delay. As soon as we’re finished here I’ll order us to the Andrathi home world at top speed.”

“It’s too late.”

Victor leaned forward in his chair. “What do you mean it’s too late? The Andrathi are nothing if not patient people. Surely a minor delay can’t have stalled these passage negotiations.”

Admiral Feltsman made a noise that sounded like a cross between a growl and a sigh. “Tell me about the Andrathi, _Captain_ Nikiforov, you _were_ the one who made first contact so you should know.”

Victor blinked. “Tall, averaging twenty centimeters taller than human averages. Complexion is pale with a bluish tint. Complicated, flowery language couched in metaphor. Six limbs, two legs, four arms. Technologically advanced with the ability to neutralize attacks with minimal collateral damage. They consider themselves a neutral race and abhor conflict.”

“What about their customs, their planet?”

“Friendly to outside species, they celebrate any new chance at alliance and consider their planet a place of hospitality. It’s considered a vacation destination during its…” Victor groaned.

“Finish your thought Vitya.”

“During its habitable season.” Victor collapsed back against his chair.

“During its habitable season,” Yakov echoed. “And what happens outside of that season?”

Victor sighed. “The Andrathi hibernate en masse. They need minimal sleep for eighteen months, then hibernate as a species for nine months while the planet is at the far end of its elliptical orbit.”

“How long ago did you meet them?”

“Seventeen months. They were harvesting their winter crops and preparing tourist locations for off-world visitors.”

Victor draped his arm over his eyes. “How long did they push their hibernation for me?”

“As long as they could. They couldn’t wait any longer and the remaining delegates went into hibernation yesterday.”

Victor sat up and looked at the monitor. “I’ll be there as soon as they wake up Yakov. We’ll get those passage agreements signed.”

“Damn right you will,” Yakov grunted. “In the meantime, not all is lost. You at least kept them informed as to the reason for your delay, and they appreciated that. We have temporary passage allowed for exploration purposes and I plan to use it.”

“What’s my mission?”

“You’re going to investigate an old mystery for us.”

“Oh?”

“There’s a black hole past Andrathi space. Earth sent a ship ninety years ago to investigate it, but they never returned.”

“Past the Andrathi? They didn’t say anything about meeting humans before.”

Yakov nodded. “Da. I asked about that too. We think they somehow managed to pass through Andrathi space during their hibernation cycle.”

“So you want me to go look for an almost century old ship in uncharted territory?”

“Exactly. Find out what happened if you can, and while you’re there spend some time researching this black hole. That should give you something to do until you’re expected for resupply at station one-four-two.”

Victor sighed. “I was hoping to grant shore leave while in negotiations with the Andrathi.”

“I think even us Russians would find it a bit colder than we’d like. Shore leave is on hold for now. Finish with the Kriedi, then go check out that black hole.”

“Aye sir.”

Yakov grunted. “Oh, and Vitya?”

“Da?”

“The chain of command is breathing down my neck over this. You’ve been forgetting things lately, but this is the biggest one yet. Don’t let it happen again. There’s talk about pulling you from command and assigning your post to a seasoned spacefarer. You’re young still, don’t make them regret giving you a ship.”

“Da.”

Yakov sighed. “Maybe you should leave the black hole to Chris, take some time for yourself. You indicated that the Kriedi are welcoming. You should stay and take some leave.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Yakov sighed again. “Do that. In the meanwhile I’ll smooth things out here, but you need to watch yourself for a while.”

“Da.”

“End communication.”

The screen went dark. Victor leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. After several minutes he leaned forward again and pressed a button on a panel. “Chris, come in here please.”

The door slid open a moment later and Chris came in, carrying Victor’s coffee along with his own.

“Thought you might want this,” Chris said with a chuckle as he set the mug down.

“Thanks.”

“Rough night?”

Victor blinked. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re punishing yourself with black coffee.”

One of Victor’s eyebrows rose.

Chris laughed. “You’re normally a tea and jam man. You only seem to drink coffee when you’re punishing yourself.”

“Oh?”

“You grimace with every sip.”

Victor sighed and set the mug aside. “I didn’t know we had a counselor on board. Can you tell me when your office hours are so I don’t double schedule you as my first officer?”

Chris laughed and sat on Victor’s couch. “Part of my duty as first officer is to let you know when ship morale is getting low. I always assumed that included you.”

“First Yakov and now you…”

One of Chris’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, and what did the dear admiral have to say?”

“We missed our window of opportunity with the Andrathi. They’ve all gone into hibernation.”

“Oh…”

Victor leaned back again. “I should have _remembered_ that Chris! I mentioned it in my initial report as a reason to do these passage negotiations so quickly. _I_ set the timetable because I _knew_ they would go into hibernation. But I got so wrapped up in the talks with the Kriedi that I completely forgot.”

“Are you sure it’s the negotiations?”

Victor narrowed his eyes at his friend and first officer. “What do you mean?”

“This isn’t the first thing you’ve forgotten lately. It’s just the biggest.”

“What are you saying?”

“Forgetfulness can be a sign of stress, or depression. One I know you’ve got for sure. We’re on the leading edge of human exploration, light years farther than almost any other ship, and surely the only one this far in this direction from Earth. We never know how species we meet will react to humans, and if we run into any problems help from home isn’t close. That’s sure to put a strain on any captain.”

Victor and Chris stared at each other for a minute before Chris continued. “Add to that the isolation of space, and your professional detachment from your crew. As a leader you’ve isolated yourself. I can’t imagine how lonely it is up there where nobody can reach you.”

Victor glared. “Are you done… counselor?”

Chris sighed.

A moment of silence passed before Victor relented. “Yakov said much the same thing, though in a different way. He wanted me to take some leave. Put you in charge of this black hole mission.”

“Black hole?”

Victor echoed Chris’s sigh. “Guess that’s something else I… forgot.” He paused, took a sip of his coffee and grimaced. “We’ve been granted temporary exploration passage through Andrathi space. Once we’re done with the Kriedi we’re to proceed to a black hole on the other side and try to determine the fate of a research vessel lost ninety years ago.”

“Oh?”

“We may not be the farthest out after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> It's not as action packed as the first chapter, but we got a good glimpse of how Victor's doing in this AU. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor briefs Chris and Chief Science Officer Nekola on the mission to the black hole and to look for the missing ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the excitement on this fic. If you can't tell I'm a bit of a trekkie nerd (can't watch the new series ATM :-( hopefully netflix will get it sooner than later). I do try to craft my own universe though, rather than use their lore. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Docking bay two reports that the last shuttle is on final approach,” Otabek said from the communication station. 

Victor nodded and sighed. He swiveled his chair toward the helm. “Ensign Plisetsky, lay in the flight plan.”

The blond man let out an annoyed sigh. “Yes, sir.”

“Something on your mind ensign?” Victor asked with a smirk. 

“Not at all… captain,” he replied with the same annoyed tone.

“Uh-oh,” Otabek said in a monotone. “Seems Yurio is back.”

Victor turned to look at his communication officer at the same time that ensign Plisetsky snarled, “That’s not my name!”

“Yurio?” Victor asked.

Otabek’s voice took on a note of humor. “I was in my senior year at the space academy when he was a freshman. Even then his attitude got him a name around campus: Yuri ‘Oh So Angry’ Plisetsky. It quickly got shortened to Yurio. I thought he’d gotten past it though, since we haven't seen this side of him since he came on board six months ago.”

Victor laughed and turned back to the blond-haired helmsman. “It suits you... Yurio.”

Yurio let out a snarl of annoyance and glared at the communication officer. 

Victor turned to Otabek. “None of this was in his personnel file. Tell me more.”

Otabek smiled, just a quirk of the lips as Yurio started shouting for him to keep his mouth shut. “He was usually able to keep his temper under control around the senior officers and teaching staff. For when he couldn’t, it helped to have parents who were both decorated captains, and a grandfather admiral who just so happened to be high level at the academy. His little… outbursts… were generally overlooked.”

“Fat lot of good all that did,” Yurio replied with a scowl. “Parents who were never home, rarely even saw each other. Grandpa raised me, but he scolded too. What didn’t end up in my record was worked off with chores at home. I  _ wish _ they’d have ended up on my record.”

Victor laughed. “So what’s gotten under your skin today Yurio?”

“That’s not my name!”

“It is now, at least on my bridge,” Victor smiled. “Now tell me, what’s got you all riled up?”

Yurio turned back to his console and started punching in coordinates. “I was looking  _ forward _ to a bit of leave on the Andrathi homeworld, but now leave is canceled and we’re off to go on a wild goose chase for a ship that was likely sucked into a black hole.”

Victor smiled, stood and strode to the helm console. He leaned against it, an easy smile on his face. “I could drop you off if you’d like. You might enjoy the cold, though I think you’d need a heavier coat than what we’re accustomed to, even in Russia.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Victor laughed. “Elliptical orbits can have extreme temperature differences. By now it’s probably a balmy two-hundred kelvin, and sure to get colder. 

Yurio paled. 

“Still interested in leave there?” Victor teased.

Yurio narrowed his eyes. “No,  _ sir.  _ Thank you.”

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Victor said with a laugh. “It’ll take a couple days to get there, plenty of time to gather some cold weather gear.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Yurio snarled as he continued to smash coordinates into the console. “Course laid in.”

“Docking bay two reports all shuttles secured, and all personnel have reported in,” Otabek stated. 

“Acknowledged,” Victor replied. “Open a channel to the Kriedi ambassador.”

Otabek nodded, and a moment later the green and gray mottled skin of the ambassador filled the viewscreen, his six eyes trained on Victor’s face. 

“Ambassador,” Victor started, “I would like to thank you once again for your hospitality, and pass along the regards of those back on Earth. We look forward to a long and mutually beneficial relationship.”

The ambassador nodded, each row of eyes blinking in turn. 

“With your permission,” Victor continued. “We’re prepared to leave orbit.”

“Permission granted,” a rich baritone voice replied. “Have a safe journey.”

“Thank you,” Victor replied with a nod then remembered the customary farewell for the Kriedi. “May your days be structured, and your nights be free.”

The ambassador bowed slightly. “To you as well Captain Nikiforov.”

Victor returned the bow, and the screen returned to a view of the stars. Victor turned and made his way back to his chair. “Ensign Plis… Yurio...”

Yurio snarled. 

“Take us to the black hole, one-third light until we reach the edge of the Kriedi system, then engage the quantum drive at flux factor two.”

“Two sir?”

“Lieutenant Crispino wants to run some tests at low speed. Since we don’t have a set timeline for this mission I agreed to give him that chance now.”

“Factor two sir, aye.”

“Take us out.”

There was a hum as the time dilation compensators, deflectors, and inertial dampeners engaged, then the ship started moving.  

Victor watched the planets of the Kriedi system on the viewer for a few minutes then stood. He turned and nodded at his tactical officer. “You have the bridge Mila. I’ll be in my office. Send Chris in when he finishes his rounds. Have Lieutenant Neloka join us.”

“Aye sir,” she replied, moving from behind her station to take over the command chair. “Transfer tactical control to command console,” she ordered the computer as she sat. 

Victor nodded and walked into his office. He turned to his desk console, brought up the mission details and transferred the pertinent information to tablets for his first and science officers. A few minutes later both Chris and Emil walked in.

“Good morning gentlemen,” Victor said, handing over the tablets. “I wanted to discuss our mission with the two of you.”

“Me sir?” Emil asked, taking a seat next to Chris on the couch.

Victor nodded. “I hope you’ve kept all your equipment in good shape. We’re taking a break from all the diplomatic missions to explore one of those cosmic phenomena you’ve wanted.”

Emil’s eyes lit in excitement. “What is it sir?”

Victor grinned. “We’ve been ordered to investigate a nearby black hole.”

Emil blinked for a moment, then exclaimed, “The Michell!”

Chris turned to the science officer. “Michell? Like our chief engineer?”

“Close, but the spelling is slightly different. He’s referring to the science vessel that disappeared,” Victor clarified before turning back to Emil. “Correct. That’s the one we’re headed for.”

Emil laughed. “Kenjirou is going to love this!”

“Kenjirou?” Victor asked, trying to place the name to the face in his crew of three hundred. 

“Ensign Kenjirou Minami, he came on during the crew rotation on Starbase Ten six months ago,” Chris supplied. “He’s a junior officer in the astrophysics lab.”

Emil nodded, “And the Michell is half the reason he requested this post, according to him. We’re the only vessel this far in this direction, and he is intensely fascinated with the lost ship. If anybody was going to find it, it would be us.”

“Oh?” Victor asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Emil nodded. “You should hear him go on to anybody who will listen, about how his love of astrophysics is because of that ship, and how the lead astrophysicist was a national hero to Japan when he was selected.”

“Seems you have the perfect member for your team,” Victor said with a smile. “Maybe put him in charge of looking for the lost ship.”

“Team?” Emil blinked, then realization set in. He smiled. “Thank you sir!”

Victor nodded. “We’ll need people monitoring the black hole. We’ll also try to circumnavigate it. Get several people from stellar cartography to update maps that may have stars out of place due to light bending around it, and of course to chart anything that was hiding behind it. This is a science mission, so you finally get to show off your stuff.”

Emil beamed. “Thank you sir!”

Victor laughed. “Better get started Lieutenant. You’ll want them measuring well before we’re out of Andrathi space.”

Emil jumped to his feet. “Of course sir.” He strode to the door. 

“Oh, and Emil?”

Emil paused and turned back. 

“Work with Michele in Engineering. We’ll want to measure stress to the ship and to the quantum flux drive. Command wants as much data as we can give them, no matter how insignificant it seems. We don’t get to chart black holes often, so anything that can be used back on Earth we need to get. Go through Chris, but feel free to request personnel, data and resources from any department.”

“Aye captain!”

“That’ll help morale,” Chris said as soon as the doors closed behind Emil.

“Chris?”

“We’ve had an entire team of scientists who’ve been able to do nothing more than nod politely as dignitaries and scientists from other worlds point out their discoveries and other interesting things. There’s been no sense of discovery among our own, just hearing lectures. They’ve been itching to find out something for themselves.”

Victor smiled. “I see. I’ll have to work out a looser schedule with Admiral Felstman to allow them time for charting and exploration.”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Chris replied with a nod. 

“While we’re on the subject, is there anything else I should look into in terms of morale?”

“Leave... as soon as possible,” Chris replied immediately. “It’s been six months since our last crew rotation, and we’ve not had a real chance for leave since. The little trips planetside during the Kriedi negotiations helped, but the crew needs longer.”

“We’re due for an extended stay during our resupply at station one-four-two. Since that’s a colony planet there should be plenty for the crew to do.”

“Does that include you captain?”

Victor sighed. “The best I can offer is a rotation with you. Somebody needs to oversee the resupply process. We can each take part of the time, or I can give you the entire time off.”

Chris scowled. “Resupply crews can handle it captain. That’s their job.”

“And it’s mine to make sure this ship is running smoothly.”

Chris sighed. “Can I at least have stellar cartography look for a suitable planet nearby our black hole? Maybe let non-essential personnel rotate a few days?”

Victor nodded. “We can do that.”

“How long are we expected to study this thing anyway?”

“The admiral expects that to get from there to station one-four-two will take about a week. That gives us nearly a month to study it, and we’re expected to get as much as we can during that time.”

Chris nodded. “So we’re about a month out still?”

“Da.”

Chris stood. “If you’re not going to take leave, at least use the recreational facilities onboard. I regularly review the schedules for those too, remember, and your name is notably absent.”

Victor glared at his friend. “Is this our counselor coming back? When should I expect the return of my first officer?”

Chris sighed. “I could always go down to the medical bay and have Doctor Sara order you to take the time. She does outrank you when it comes to wellness, and you’re neglecting your health by not relaxing. I’m not asking for much Victor, just for you to take some down time.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Chris studied Victor for a moment, sighed again and headed toward the door. “I’ll go relieve Mila.”

Victor nodded and watched his first officer leave. He then stood and crossed the office to the window. He looked out, watching the stars slide by. “You’re just as lonely as I am…” he said to the pinpricks of light. “Each standing alone and with so much space between you.”

Victor turned back to his desk to review his work, pointedly ignoring the message from Chris when time for the climbing wall opened up due to a schedule change.

What he needed to do was focus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> A bit more of the cast is revealed. :-) Don't worry, Yuri will be rescued soon. He's been waiting 90 years, and stasis means he can wait a bit longer. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor discusses the mission with his senior staff and gives them information about the area surrounding the black hole and about the missing ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo long chapter today, lot of world-building though so I think it's worth it. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Captain!” declared a young man with two-toned hair. Everybody immediately snapped to attention.

Victor waved to indicate for his crew to resume their work. “Anybody seen Emil?”

“Yes sir,” replied the same young man. “He went to engineering to work with Lieutenant Crispino to recalibrate the sensors based on some of our initial data.”

“Thank you Ensign…”

“Minami sir, Minami Kenjirou… er… um… Kenjirou Minami. Sorry, habit.”

Victor smiled. “Not a problem Ensign Minami.” He started toward the door, then stopped. He turned back to Minami. “Ensign, Lieutenant Nekola says that you’re our resident expert on the Michell.”

“I wouldn’t say expert,” Minami said, blushing, “but I’ve been fascinated with it since I was a child.”

“Great! Join us for the officer’s meeting this afternoon. I want you to tell the senior staff everything you can about the ship.”

“Me sir?” Minami squeaked.

“Is there somebody better?” Victor teased.

“I… just… surely the historical record has the information you need.”

“We can consult it if you don’t have an answer.” Victor smiled. “Are you refusing a request to present information to your commanding officer?”

Minami snapped to attention. “No sir!”

“Great. Fourteen-hundred hours in the bridge conference room.”

“Anything in particular you want in the presentation sir?”

Victor shook his head. “Just whatever you want to tell us. Find somebody to relieve you so you can prepare your notes. I’ll let Lieutenant Nekola know that I’ve approved you leaving your station.”

“Aye sir.”

Victor nodded then strode from the astrophysics lab. He went to the nearest lift and took it to the engineering deck.

The hum of the engines greeted him as soon as he stepped off the lift. He walked past offices and labs before finally turning the corner to the engine room.

“Captain on deck!” someone shouted.

Victor sighed. “Resume your stations everybody. Anybody seen Mickey?”

“He and Emil are in one of the access conduits,” somebody replied from a console without turning to face him. “They’re working on the sensors.”

“In the tubes?”

The man reached up and pressed a button overhead. “They’d already got as much from computer controls as they could. They’re in there tweaking by hand now.”

“I see.” Victor replied, then realized that sensor components were in several of the access conduits. “Mind telling me which one?”

“Thirty-two, section five.”

“Thank you.” Victor turned to leave.

“Sir?”

Victor paused and turned back.

“It’s faster if you use the access panel behind the console bank. It’s a tight squeeze getting in, but you won’t have to go all the way around to the hall access.”

Victor nodded. “Thanks again.”

Victor shuffled into the narrow gap between the console station and the access conduits. He pulled free a panel and climbed into the crawlspace. He immediately spied Emil and Mickey about a third of the way down.

Grating clanged under him, but both Mickey and Emil were so absorbed that they didn’t notice until he was only a few feet away.

“Captain!” Mickey exclaimed, stiffening in the narrow space.

“Captain!” There was a bang as Emil hit his head on a pipe. “Ow!”

“At ease gentlemen,” Victor replied, barely restraining a chuckle. “How’s it coming?”

Mickey looked to the open panel in front of him and sighed. “I’m not sure we’re going to get enough sensitivity from these sensors. I’m doing the best I can but they’re not made for this.”

“Emil?” Victor asked.

“I’ve given him the data I’ve gathered so far to help refine the readings, but I think we’re going to need to build more probes than we initially planned for.”

“Noted,” Victor replied. “I’m calling a senior staff meeting at fourteen-hundred to discuss the mission. We’re about to pass the Andrathi system, and I’ve gotten additional information from command.”

“We’ll be there sir,” Mickey replied.

Victor nodded. “Emil, I asked that ensign of yours to give a summary of the lost ship. I relieved him so he had time to prepare.”

“Yes, sir,” Emil replied with a nod, turning back to the sensor controls. “Mickey, how fine of control do we have in terms of particle tracking?”

“What are you thinking?” Mickey asked.

“Maybe instead of trying to measure the gravity fluctuations directly, we can measure particle movement.”

“It would help if we had some way of looking for the same particles on a consistent basis. That way the sensors aren’t jumping around and recalibrating as they search for something new to latch on to.”

“Can we get an ionized particle stream from the quantum drive emissions?”

Mickey’s eyes lit up. “I think so!”

Victor smiled. “Don’t get so caught up in these modifications you miss the meeting.”

“Yes sir,” both Mickey and Emil said in unison.

Victor laughed and managed to turn around in the narrow space. Soon he was off to let the rest of his senior staff know about the meeting.

* * *

“Somebody’s eager!” Victor laughed as he strode into the bridge conference room to see Ensign Minami already sitting at the far end of the table.

Minami blushed. “I… I didn’t want to appear late sir, not to my first meeting with senior staff.”

Victor grinned. “I appreciate the enthusiasm ensign, but five minutes is sufficiently early.”

“I’ll keep that in mind sir.”

Victor nodded. “Are you ready?”

Minami bit his lower lip. “I think so sir. I had a harder time narrowing down what I know to the basics than I thought I would. Thank you for making sure I had the time to prepare.”

Victor smiled. “You’ll learn soon enough to request what you need. You might not always get it, but this deep in space it’s better to make sure your voice is heard. It could end up more important than you know.”

Minami smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind sir.”

The door opened to the sound of the Crispino twins bickering.

“You don’t need to escort me from the medical bay Mickey!” Sara scolded, her lab coat flaring behind her as she walked. “I’m perfectly capable of making it to the bridge on my own.”

“There are men all over this ship Sara!” Mickey replied, voice raised in a defensive tone. “I need to make sure none of them harass you!”

Sara wheeled on her brother. “And I’ve given medical exams to every one of them. Trust me, they’ve had plenty of opportunity to flirt. You should focus on our engines, not my love life, or lack thereof.”

“Sara!”

“I’m just saying! None of the men dare approach me, even if I _were_ receptive to their advances, because they don’t want to deal with _you._ ”

“None of them are deserving!”

“And that’s your determination to make?”

Victor laughed, stood and purposefully strode between his chief engineer and doctor. He took Sara’s hand and kissed the back of it, making her blush. “Such a beautiful bloom in deep space, how could any man resist?”

“Captain!” Mickey protested while Sara burst into laughter.

“Would you say I too am undeserving?” Victor teased.

Mickey flustered immediately. “Captain… I… uh….”

Sara laughed and retrieved her hand. “Calm down Mickey. I know for a fact the captain isn’t interested.”

“What do you mean he’s not interested?” Mickey demanded, turning on Victor and obviously ready to defend her honor. “How do you know that?”

Victor laughed and strode to his seat.

“Because I’m his doctor and I’m supposed to know some things,” Sara answered, taking her own seat.

“Like what?” Mickey demanded.

“Like that as lovely and captivating as your dear sister is, my tastes lie elsewhere,” Victor clarified simply.

“Huh?” Mickey gave him a funny look, then blushed slightly. “Oh. Sorry captain. I guess that might have been a bit… personal.”

Victor waved off the concern. “Nothing you wouldn’t have figured out eventually anyway. In fact, I’m surprised it took you this long. Needless to say though, you don’t have to protect your lovely sister from me.” Victor turned to see Minami blushing bright red. “This cute ensign here though, he might be able to sweep her off her feet.”

Sara laughed while Mickey glared at Minami.

“Calm down Lieutenant,” Victor said with a laugh. “Everybody on this ship knows Sara is off limits.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “One day I hope it’ll be my decision though, and not Mickey’s.”

“It’s my job to protect you Sara…” Mickey whined.

Sara sighed. “Your _job_ is to keep the engines running. And mine is to be ship’s doctor. Last I checked, I was not a part of the engine.”

“Sara…”

“Are they at it again?” Chris asked, strolling into the room.

“Do they ever stop?” Emil quipped from right behind him. “Command should be glad the captain was willing to take both of them. I heard when Mickey was on his first assignment he called back to Earth every day to check up on Sara. He almost lost an engine cause some guy in a medical class was flirting with her.”

“They should do first missions closer to home anyway,” Mickey griped.

“And you’d never learn the stress of deep space on an engine if they did that,” Victor stated, bored with the conversation. “Look, science and medical staff take longer to get through training because they have more to learn from books, but engineers learn by doing. Books will only get you so far before you need experience that you can only find in the field. We both know that as soon as Sara was able to start her residency they had her on the same ship as you, which is a luxury that not even many married couples get at that age. Command suggested I try to wean you from her by splitting the two of you up. I went against that suggestion when I selected you for my crew. Don’t make me question that.”

Mickey sighed and slumped in his seat. “Aye captain.”

Victor turned to Minami and winked. “This is why more than five minutes early isn’t necessary. Mickey will behave for a few days, then be the protective older brother again. We go through a similar discussion every staff meeting, though usually without my personal details becoming part of the conversation.”

“Hey!” Mickey protested.

Victor laughed. “Prove me wrong, and I’ll take it back. Until then… you never learn.”

Mila, Otabek and Yurio walked into the conference room, Yurio slouching with an angry look on his face.

“Lieutenant Davis is currently in command on the bridge,” Mila said as she took a seat. She immediately leaned back far enough to prop her feet on the table.

Otabek took a seat across from Mila, and Yurio sat next to him, slouching in a way that seemed to mirror Mickey’s disgruntled slouch.

Victor grinned. “Well aren’t we a ragtag bunch today. Anybody seen Georgi?”

“I’m here captain,” Georgi mumbled, shuffling to the last empty seat, a steaming cup of coffee held in his hand.

“Sorry for getting you out of bed in the middle of your night, but I thought my third in command should be a part of this meeting,” Victor said.

“If I start snoring just have Mila poke me,” Georgi muttered.

“I’m sure she’d be glad to.”

“Who’s got a stick?” Mila joked, receiving a number of chuckles from around the table before Victor called the meeting to order.

Victor looked around, cleared his trhoat then started. “I’m sure by now you’re all aware of our mission.”

“Chart a black hole with a side order of investigate a century-old mystery,” Chris replied immediately.

Victor smiled. “That’s the short version, yes.”

“I don’t get what the big deal is,” Yurio groused. “It’s just a black hole, and the people from the other ship will be just as dead whether we find out what happened or not.”

“ _Just_ a black hole?” Minami cried. “There’s no such thing as _just_ a black hole.”

“But they’re not new,” Yurio grumbled. “Humans have known about them for centuries.”

Victor leaned forward, elbows on the table as he decided to nip the argument in the bud. “But this is first time the United Earth Space Forces have sent a ship so close. Assuming we make it back alive, it’ll be the first time mankind will be able to really dig into the wealth of scientific information that will help us understand them.”

Minami nodded vigorously.

“Wait…” Georgi mumbled. “If we’re looking for a lost ship, how are we the first?”

“I believe you’re up ensign,” Victor said, turning to Minami.

Minami squeaked, then nodded. “We… we’re the first… military... for lack of a better word, vessel. The Michell… the ship that was lost… was considered a civilian vessel, even though they had government sponsorship.”

“Civilian?” Mickey asked.

Minami nodded. “Quantum flux drives were still in their infancy then. The Space Forces weren’t officially chartered until five years after the Michell departed, about the time they’d have reached the black hole.”

“Did you just say five _years_ to get here from Earth?” Yurio demanded.

Minami nodded and leaned forward as he got comfortable. “Yes. Their mission was to last approximately eleven years. Five to get here, one to study, and another five to return.”

“That’s a long time in stasis,” Mickey replied.

“Oh they weren’t in stasis Lieutenant,” Minami clarified. “They couldn’t be.”

“What do you mean?”

“The ships at that time required too much regular maintenance, the engines especially. We’re practically automated when compared to the ships from back then. No, they would have been a fully functioning ship for the entire journey. Stasis was reserved for short term missions, passenger vessels, or emergency situations.”

“That’s a lot of supplies,” Otabek stated.

Minami nodded. “There was a lot of weight dedicated to supplies. The ship also had hydroponics sections to grow as much food as possible. They had state-of-the-art reclamation units to recycle waste. From the outset they knew the mission would rely on self-sufficiency.”

“Five years?” Yurio repeated.

“You have to remember ensign,” Chris cut in. “Quantum flux engines have come a long way in a hundred years. When they left humanity was making regular runs only as far as Wolf Three-five-nine and Sirius. Fifty light years was considered the edge of explored space and took more than two years to reach. This might be the closest known black hole to Earth, but it’s still more than a hundred light years away. It’s not exactly in the neighborhood.”

Victor nodded, then turned to Minami again. “Ensign, continue, tell us what you can about the ship.”

Minami nodded. “At the time it was a big deal, every country on the planet was vying for representation. It was the first joint deep space mission, and nobody wanted to be left out. Top scientists and engineers from across the globe were encouraged to apply.”

“How did they decide who eventually got on?” Mila asked.

“Once the crew requirements were announced, most of the applicants simply didn’t make the cut,” Minami replied with a slight blush spreading across his cheeks.

Mila took her feet off the table and leaned forward. “Oh? Do tell ensign.” The amused sparkle in her eyes told Victor she’d noticed the blush on the ensign.

Minami bit his lip. “There’s not much to do in the vastness of space, ma’am, especially when one doesn’t know of friendly planets to vacation to, and when the bulk of a ship’s weight is dedicated to either scientific gear or supplies to keep the crew alive.”

“What does that mean?” Yurio demanded.

Otabek chuckled and Mila smiled.

Minami sighed. “It means… that sex was a real concern. With everything so carefully planned, the tight quarters and the length of the mission, they couldn’t afford to take the chance that there would be births during the mission.”

“Ok?” Yurio scowled. “What does _that_ mean.”

Minami ran his hand through his hair. “Fine. The first requirement was couples only. Either married or in proven long-term relationships. Nobody had a cabin to themselves, and it was the best way to ensure that nobody got a bunkmate they didn’t like for more than a decade. Even then there was intense psychological observation to ensure that the couples could withstand the stress of the mission.”

“Ok…”

“The second requirement was that there were no idle passengers. Both people had to be useful. It wasn’t a place for humanities, a partner who wasn’t needed for their own skills had to be willing to take on another role. One example of how extreme this policy was, was a man named Cao Bin. Before the Michell left he was a brilliant musician and composer, destined to be famous for his musical works. But his husband, Seung-gil Lee, was selected. Seung-gil was a genius tactician, everybody agreed he was the most suited for the role of tactical specialist. Cao Bin gave up his music so that his husband could go.”

“What did he do?” Otabek asked.

“According to crew manifests, the composer became a chef. He was named Mess Officer, and spent three years before departure learning to cook for large groups. Even days before departure he was working on a new opera during his down time, but always thought he’d be able to return to Earth once the mission was over.”

Yurio shook his head. “That’s dedication.”

“And that brings us to the third requirement,” Minami paused. “Sex.”

“All those married people were probably having it,” Yurio quipped.

“And that’s why those were the most stringent rules of all,” Minami replied. “Remember that I said Cao Bin had a husband?”

“Yeah.”

“He wasn’t the only one. Almost eighty percent of the crew were in same-gender relationships.”

Emil whistled. “That’s… a unique way of dealing with the no births dilemma.”

Minami nodded. “Effective though. Those who weren’t either had to be older than child-bearing age, or in the one instance of a younger couple… the wife had to have a sterilization implant. They had to be that dedicated.”

“Wow…” Emil breathed.

“They couldn’t take any chances,” Minami said. “Even with those restrictions, the medical supplies included emergency contraceptives, and every person on board knew that under those circumstances, if there _was_ a pregnancy… abortion wasn’t an option, it would have been a necessity.”

Mickey shook his head. “It’s amazing they got a crew at all. Married only, everybody useful _and_ that level of commitment to no children.”

“It did reduce the number of applicants,” Minami replied, “but only to manageable levels. Remember that the pool was worldwide, and there were still plenty of brilliant people who met those requirements. The ship only carried fifty people. Those who met the initial qualifications were tested rigorously to ensure that they could handle the cramped conditions and relative isolation of deep space. Then there were several years in actual training for the mission. All eligible applicants started together, living and training together. Then, as problems arose, either through conflicts of personality or the stress proving too much, people were removed until only a tight-knit core remained.

“When those people got onto that ship, they were far closer than most families.They knew each other’s quirks and habits. More importantly, they knew they could trust each other through the mission.”

“Then they were never heard from again,” Mickey said, sitting back.

“Not quite sir,” Minami replied. “They kept in communication for as long as they could, but the communication systems of the time hadn’t caught up to the engines. Faster than light messages were only possible through repeater networks, and a straight line is not a network. Once they passed the outermost nodes they only had a few repeaters to drop and keep connected to the network. After that, they were on their own.”

“That must have been before man met the Moldenar,” Otabek said. “They were the ones who helped get us on galactac standard communication technology.”

Minami nodded.

“Captain,” Otabek said, swiveling to look at Victor. “I’ll need permission to modify scanning parameters. If anything managed to survive and is emitting a distress beacon I’ll never pick it up with current settings.”

“Granted,” Victor replied, then started distributing tablets around the table. “In fact, that was one of the notes from command.”

“Sir?” Chris asked.

“Admiral Yakov came through for us in more ways than he let on,” Victor said, sitting back. “When he got us permission to proceed through Andrathi space he was able to ask some questions.”

Victor turned to the first line on his tablet. “He talked to the Andrathi as to whether they’d ever heard anything from our missing ship. They said they hadn’t, but that the space for more than a light year around the black hole is considered unclaimed and neutral between all the bordering species. They’ve all had their shot at studying it, so they rarely send new vessels. It’s also not a well trafficked area for obvious reasons. Add to that, that the Michell was using non-standard communication systems, even if neighboring species _had_ sent their own ships the chances were slim that they would be found.”

“Neutral?” Chris asked. “So we don’t need to worry about encountering any hostile forces?”

Victor nodded. “Apparently between the Andrathi’s disdain for violence, and the fact that a bloack hole is not exactly a safe thing to have around all the neighboring species have decided to let it be. In addition, the Andrathi were kind enough to send messages to the others informing them of our presence.”

Victor stood and walked to a screen, it illuminated with a map. “This chart was graciously provided by the Andrathi, and will prove invaluable. Here’s the black hole,” Victor said, pointing. A line lit up through the colored region of Andrathi space, immediately followed by a second. “These two lines are our path, and the expected path of the Michell. We’re sticking as close to their route as possible.”

Victor touched three other areas, which lit up in different colors. “These are the regions controlled by the Voroth, the Parke’nor and the Allandiri”

“Never heard of them,” Yurio said.

“That’s because we haven’t made first contact yet,” Victor said. “And unless they come to us, we’re not making that contact at this time unless we have proof that we need to enter their space in search of our lost ship. Yakov got us approved to go through Andrathi space for this mission, but he wants firmer passage agreements in place before we start introducing ourselves to the neighbors.”

Chris nodded. “It makes sense.”

Victor pointed to the remaining dark area on the chart surrounding the black hole. “This is the territory of the Calandu. They are a largely xenophobic species, and maintain only minimal contact with their neighbors. We’ve been warned against encroaching on their space. If any parts of the Michell drifted across their border they were likely destroyed.”

“Sound like friendly people,” Yurio grumbled.

“Perfectly lovely,” Victor joked back. “According to the information Yakov gave us, they rarely leave their space, so chances of encountering them are slim. However if we do we’re not to make contact unless they contact us first, no standard friendly greetings. Treat them as if they don’t exist, and they’ll give us the same courtesy. If they do communicate we have been given a standardized message to use in response, and no voice or visual communication unless they request it.”

“Lovely,” Mickey grumbled.  

Victor smiled. “Otabek, I’ve given you the specs forwarded by the Andrathi on how to identify the Calandu. Make sure your staff knows it and knows the protocol.”

“Aye sir,” Otabek replied.

“Mickey, Emil, Ensign Minami… the admiral was able to get the tech specs of the Michell from the archives. It should help you calibrate sensors better to search for them.”

“Yes sir,” Mickey replied.

“Sara,” Victor said, turning to his doctor, “radiation is a concern the closer we get. I want you to monitor the crew for any signs of radiation poisoning, and administer innoculants as necessary.”

Sara nodded in response.

“That brings us to tactical and piloting this thing,” Victor joked, eying Mila and Yurio. “We don’t know what kind of debris may be caught in the gravity. Mila I may need your sharpshooting skills to deal with it. We’ll be close enough to feel some of the gravity effects ourselves, so maneuveribility could be impaired. Work with Yurio so that you two can be prepared for some fast shooting and precision flying.”

“Yes sir,” Mila replied.

“Yeah, whatever,” Yurio acknowledged.

Victor sighed and leaned in, bracing his palms on the table top. “I know your grandfather is an admiral Yurio, but at least try to observe politeness.”

Yurio rolled his eyes. “I’ll think about it.”

Victor looked to Chris and Georgi. “Any questions from the two of you?”

“None sir,” Georgi replied with a yawn.

Chris shook his head. “No.”

Victor looked around the table. “Anybody else?”

Heads shook.

“Great,” Victor said, standing again. “You all have your orders. Dismissed.”

Everybody stood and returned to their stations, except Minami.

“Ensign?”

“Do you really think we’ll find them captain?”

Victor thought about it for a moment. “Probably not. It’s been ninety years with no word. There’s always a chance that they crash landed on a habitable planet, but there would have been some uncomfortable lifestyle choices with a crew composition like that. There probably would be only a handful of descendants, if any. More likely than that though, is that they underestimated the gravity perimeter, and couldn’t escape.”

Minami nodded, a frown on his face.

“There’s always a chance though Ensign. And who knows, even if we don’t find the ship, there may be clues. Captain Celestino was under orders to launch probes or buoys with data if there was an emergency, so we may yet learn a bit of what happened.”

Minami nodded again. “Thank you sir… and… thanks for letting me talk to the senior staff.”

Victor smiled. “Chin up ensign. Just think, you’re part of a crew investigating your favorite mystery. Not many people get that opportunity.”

Minami smiled. “Thanks captain.”

* * *

Victor fumbled in the dark for the communication panel next to his bed, fingers finally landing on the button. “Yes?” he slurred, voice heavy with sleep.

“Sorry to wake you captain,” Georgi replied.

“What time is it?”

“Oh three hundred sir.”

Victor sat up slightly, knowing Georgi wouldn’t have woken him at such an hour without a good reason. “Computer, lights.” The room brightened immediately. “Ok Georgi, what’s going on?”

“Captain, we made it within one light year of the black hole shortly before I came on duty at midnight.”

Victor nodded, then remembered he was on a voice channel. “As expected, that’s no reason to wake me though.”

“No sir…”

There was a long pause.

“Georgi?”

“Sir, we think we discovered something from the Michell.”

Victor blinked. “Say again Commander?”

“Sir, we think we’ve found something.”

“So far out?”

“That’s what I thought too. It started with what seemed to be an old communication signal, but it was weak. It matched the information supplied by Admiral Felstman though, so I changed course to intercept. As we got closer it got stronger.”

“Ok…”

“I’ve had Otabek up for an hour already analyzing it, Mickey, Emil and that ensign Minami as well. Nobody expected something to have traveled this far and not been found.”

“Your results Georgi?” Victor was getting impatient.

“It’s definitely from the Michell sir.”

“Do you know what it is?”

“Not yet, we expect to be in visual range within the hour. I thought you’d want to be on the bridge when we do figure it out.”

“I’m on my way.”

Victor climbed from his bed and stepped into the solar shower. Pulses of warm light sterilized him while also tricking his body into thinking it was getting the sunlight necessary. A blast of hot air later and he turned to a mirror to shave.

Victor pulled on his uniform jacket as he strode from his room toward the mess hall.

The room was dimly lit, only a couple people from the night shift taking a break at a table at the far end of the room. Noise came from the kitchen where the night chefs were preparing the ingredients for the day shift.

“Captain!” one of the chefs said when Victor walked into the kitchen. “Good morning sir!”

Victor managed a weak smile and nodded. “Do you have any tea?”

The man nodded. “Of course sir. Black ok?”

Victor nodded. “Fine.”

“Two spoonfuls of strawberry jam, right?”

Victor’s smile grew a bit. “Thanks for remembering.”

“Of course sir.”

The man shuffled off to grab a mug, then poured the tea, stirred in the jam and put the lid on. He handed it over. “I hope whatever got you out of bed at this hour is worth it.”

Victor chuckled, “Me too. Thanks for the tea.”

“Of course captain.”

Victor yawned as he took a lift to the bridge. As soon as the doors opened he was greeted with the buzz of activity. The lights, normally dimmed for the night shift, were bright and there were twice as many people as normal crowded around the various stations.

“Ensign, do you have the specs from the buoys and probes?” Mickey shouted to Minami.

“Yes sir,” Minami called back. “I’ve also got the escape pods and any external structure that could have been pulled off with beacons in it.”

“Why do you think the signal is so weak?” Emil asked Otabek while staring over his shoulder at the communication panel.

“I don’t know,” Otabek replied. “Perhaps it was damaged?”

Victor looked back and forth until he spied Georgi examining something at the tactical station. He strode over.

“Catch me up.”

Georgi looked up. “Aye Captain.” He stood and stretched his back before continuing. “We’ve got an approximate size, but we’ll need to be within visual range to confirm what it is.”

“Why’s that?”

Georgi sighed. “I asked that ensign the same thing. Apparently they used an interchangeable chassis between the probes, buoys and escape pods. It left them all with similar sizes.”

“Why would they do that?”

Minami strode over and glanced at the data. “It made storage easier. They didn’t have to have a cargo hold full of buoys and probes then not have enough of one or the other. They could get here and assemble what they needed. They could also modify based on what they found here.”

“But why the same chassis as an escape pod?” Victor asked.

“Spare parts,” Minami answered. “If one was damaged they would be able to repair it from parts already on board rather than have to stow extra parts.”

“You have to admit it’s a sound strategy,” Georgi said. “Though it does make our job more difficult.”

Victor nodded. “Keep working on it. Let’s try to find out what we’re dealing with before it comes into visual range if possible.”

“Aye sir,” Georgi replied.

Victor strode to the communication station. “What’cha got?”

“Hard to tell sir,” Otabek replied. “It’s a beacon, but it’s not clear. I think the communication array must have been damaged. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that it’s on the right frequency and that what I _am_ getting does indicate it comes from the Michell.”

“Ensign Minami!” Victor called.

“Yes Captain?” Minami replied, looking up from where he’d moved to confer with Emil.

“Once we can see this thing, how will we know what it is?”

“I have the specs sir. The paneling is the key. Buoys had fairly plain paneling, probes were outfitted with sensor arrays, and the escape pods were painted with iconography to indicate people on board.”

“So, literally, once we get a look at it we’ll know what it is?”

“Yes sir.”

Victor sighed. “Well… I guess it’s better than nothing.”

“Thirty seconds to visual range,” the ensign at the helm reported.

“Did I miss it?” Chris asked, striding onto the bridge.

“Not yet,” Victor replied, then looked around again. “Did anybody think to wake Yurio?”

“He said, and I quote,” Otabek started, then put on a mock annoyed tone, “‘I don’t care, they’ll be just as dead tomorrow.’”

Victor chuckled. “I guess we should let him have his beauty sleep.”

“Ten seconds.”

The energy on the bridge stopped as everybody turned to the viewscreen to get a glimpse of history.

“Coming into range now.”

A slate gray dot started in the middle of the screen and grew larger as they got closer. Scorch marks indicated damage along one edge.

The bridge crew held a collective breath as they waited for it to rotate on the screen.

For a moment Victor thought it was just a buoy as it spun, then the stylized figure of a bipedal came into view.

“It’s an escape pod....” Victor breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Dun dun dun.... CLIFFHANGER! :-P sorta LOL
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor's crew scrambles to rescue the survivors in the escape pod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aahhh you guys have such enthusiasm for this fic!!! I love it. Sci-fi world building is kinda my jam so I'm excited to see you all so excited. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Utter silence filled the bridge as the realization that they had potentially found survivors settled in. Soft beeps from the various consoles were the only things to break the moment. 

Then the activity started again. 

“Georgi!” Victor shouted. “Get Mila up and in here. I need to know if we can catch it with the magnetic grapnel.” He turned. “Mickey, while we’re waiting for Mila you and Emil start scanning. Make sure there’s nothing dangerous such as elevated radiation levels.”

Victor scanned the bridge. “Otabek. Now that we’re getting a look, see if you can clean up the message any. If possible I want to know how many people are on board.”

“What should I do captain?” Minami asked. 

Victor looked down at the ensign. “Crew manifests. I want you to be able to tell us who we’ve got.”

“Aye sir.”

Victor strode to the command chair and took a seat. He thumbed his console, and selected Sara’s name from the senior staff. He put in a call to her quarters. 

“Captain?” Sara asked, voice thick with sleep. 

“Sorry to wake you Sara, but we’ve got an escape pod. I need you to prepare for incoming survivors from the Michell.”

“Yes sir,” she replied, voice alert. 

Victor turned to Chris, who had taken a seat next to him. “I need you to coordinate between science and medical. Make sure our doctor has everything she needs for our survivors, but we all know that science crews are going to want information about the long-term impacts from stasis in proximity to a black hole. Find a way to make it happen without her dealing with a bunch of people underfoot.”

“Yes, sir,” Chris said with a nod, standing and striding from the bridge. 

Victor stood and walked over to Georgi. “Congratulations.”

“Sir?” Georgi asked, turning. 

“It was found on your watch. Good job.”

Georgi smiled. “I was just following orders.”

“Don’t be modest now. Whoever is in the chair gets to decide if something is worth investigating or not. You gave the go ahead.”

Georgi nodded. “Thank you captain.”

“I have to report to the admiral. He wanted to know immediately. I should be back in a few minutes but let me know if you need me.”

“Aye sir.”

Victor took one last look at the pod on the viewscreen, then headed toward his office. He took a deep breath as he sank into the chair at the desk, then thumbed on the monitor. He initiated a call to the admiral’s office, but wasn’t surprised when it was immediately re-routed to his home. 

“Vitya?” Admiral Feltsman asked, sitting up in bed. 

“Sorry for the late call Admiral.” Victor replied. “Just following orders.”

“You found something?” Yakov’s voice seemed hesitant. 

“Georgi did, yes sir. An escape pod. We’re working out how to bring it on board now. We don’t know how many survivors there are yet.”

“Just one pod?”

“So far. We’re keeping an eye out for more.”

“I’m going to the office. Call me as soon as you have something more.”

“You shall do no such thing,” a female voice replied. “You will go back to sleep and deal with this in the morning.”

“Lilia!” Yakov protested. 

There was movement behind Yakov, then Lilia’s tired face appeared over his shoulder. 

“New orders Captain Nikiforov,” Lilia said. “No calling the admiral overnight unless it’s an emergency. As his wife, and fellow admiral of higher rank, my orders supercede his. He’ll look for your initial report in the morning.”

“Aye ma’am,” Victor replied with a smile. 

“And you old man,” Lilia turned on Yakov. “Sleep. Don’t make me make that an order.”

“I’ll let you two get back to bed,” Victor said, barely containing a chuckle. 

The screen went dark, and Victor allowed himself to smile. 

“How’s the admiral?” Georgi asked as Victor made his way back to the bridge. 

“Probably being scolded by the other admiral for asking me to call immediately without caring for what hour it is.”

“So they’re on again?”

“Looks like it.”

Georgi shook his head. “Maybe when we get back to Earth…”

“Stop pining for Anya. I thought she made it pretty clear the last time we were home.”

“But I didn’t even have a chance to try to win her back!”

“Doesn’t mean you didn’t try. She’s with somebody else now. Try for somebody in the space forces, somebody who knows how it is.”

Georgi frowned just as Mila walked onto the bridge, still tugging her uniform jacket on. “Isn’t it a bit early for Georgi to be pouting about Anya?” she teased. 

“I don’t think he ever stops,” Victor replied, playfully nudging Georgi. 

“And that’s why she dumped you,” Mila said with a shake of her head. “You’re obsessive Georgi. Try being obsessive about some _ thing _ you’re passionate about… rather than the  _ person _ you’re passionate about. Girls like a man who brings more to the table than being a human octopus.”

“Mila…” Georgi whined. 

“Just saying, if all we wanted was to cuddle, we’d get a dog.”

“I recommend a poodle,” Victor added. “Great cuddlers.”

Mila smiled at Victor. “See, he’s got his priorities straight.”

Georgi huffed, then walked off to look over Mickey’s shoulder. 

“Mickey should be about done with those initial scans Mila,” Victor said. “I want you to review the data, and see if it’s something you can grab with the grapnel. You’re our best with it. If you don’t think you’ll be able to get it then we’ll have to send out a couple of shuttles to rope it in.”

Mila nodded. “Aye sir.”

“Call from the medical bay sir,” Otabek said. 

“Patch it through to my console,” Victor replied. 

Chris’s face filled the screen. “Are Emil and that ensign of his still up there Captain?”

“Yes.”

“Can you spare them? Sara wants to review the common radiation types they’ve been seeing so she can prepare for possible exposure. Also she’s hoping that the crew manifests have enough medical data to at least get her a baseline.”

“I’ll send them right down.”

The screen went dark as Victor looked up. “Emil, Ensign, you two are needed in medical.”

Emil and Minami made their way to the lift. 

“Mickey, you’re good on those scans?” Victor asked. 

“Yeah, I’m running through various sensor sweeps now, trying to get information. But captain, I’m not getting any life signs.”

“They’d be in stasis. Depending on the tube setup the sensors might not penetrate.”

“Aye sir.”

“Captain,” Mila said. “I can get a lock with the magnetic grapnel, but I don’t think it’ll hold well. Those panels look like they could come off if I pull too hard. I recommend getting a shuttle out to help tow it in.”

“Noted.” Victor turned. “Otabek, get Yurio up and out of bed. He’s the best with these assisted tows.”

“Aye sir,” Otabek replied. 

Victor turned back to Mila. “Go ahead and grab it as soon as it comes into range. It’ll be easier if it’s synced with our movements.”

“Yes captain.”

The ship came alive, chatter to and from the various work stations increasing as people were roused from their beds to assist. 

“Radiation levels are nominal,” Mickey declared. “I think it’s safe to bring aboard sir.”

“Good,” Victor replied. “Mila?”

“We’re still a few kilometers out of range. We should be there in a few more seconds.”

Victor turned to the screen. 

“Targeting…” MIla said. 

A line snaked out from the ship with a magnetic clamp on the end. Tiny thrusters fired as it approached the pod and soon the grapnel was latched onto the side of the smaller vessel. 

“Got it!” Mila cheered. 

“Good,” Victor said, turning to her. “Make sure your line is steady until we’re ready to bring it in. Let me know if there’s any give from those panels you were worried about.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor  turned to Otabek. “Where’s Yurio?”

Otabek turned to his panel when the young man strode onto the bridge. “Here instead of in bed where I should be.”

“Don’t worry,” Victor chided. “You’re not going to be here long. I need you in a shuttle for a assisted tow.”

Yurio’s eyes turned to the screen. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely. We need to pull it in and take a look.”

Yurio sighed. “Fine. I’ll let you know when I’m through the pre-flight check.”

Victor nodded and Yurio’s messy hair flared as he spun on his heel back into the lift. 

“Have crews cleared a space for it?” Victor asked Otabek after a couple minutes of staring at the screen. 

There was a moment of silence, then Otabek replied. “They’re almost done. They should have a place for the pod by the time Yurio is done with pre-flight.”

“Good.” Victor turned. “Mila, is the line holding?”

“Yes sir. A bit of wiggle but I think between Yurio and I can get it in.”

Victor turned back to Otabek. “Let medical know we’re bringing it in in a few minutes. Have a crew meet us near the shuttle bay.”

Otabek nodded, then a few seconds later. “Yurio is almost through pre-flight. Clearing the bay now.”

A few more seconds. “Personnel is clear. Ready to depressurize.”

“Go ahead,” Victor replied. 

“Wait!”

Victor turned to see Sara running from the lift. 

“Doctor?”

“Don’t bring that pod in yet.”

Victor blinked. “Why not?”

Mickey stood up from the sensor station. “Sara?”

Sara took a deep breath and braced her palms against her knees. 

“Have Yurio hold,” Victor ordered Otabek. 

“Already done sir.”

Sara stood again. “I did things backwards captain, and I’m sorry. I almost made a huge mistake. Anybody in there could have died if they’d been brought in without me being prepared.”

“Doctor?”

Sara shook her head. “Stasis technology hasn’t changed much in the past century. It’s mostly been minor refinements and improvements. I put off looking over the revival procedures to the end because I thought it would be fairly standard.”

“You mean it’s not?” Victor asked. 

Sara shook her head. 

“Why would they use non-standard stasis?” Mickey asked. 

“Everything about that ship was designed to be as efficient as possible,” Sara said. “Standard stasis tubes are huge energy investments.”

“Yeah…” Mickey replied. “But there’s not much in the way of alternatives.”

Sara shook her head. “There is though.” She turned to Victor. “Captain, they’re not in stasis, they’re in cryostasis.”

“Why would they be in cryostasis?” Mickey cried. “That’s even more of an energy drain!”

“On a planet maybe,” Sara shot back. “But not in space.”

“What do you mean doctor?” Victor asked. 

“The energy investment in cryostasis is in keeping the patients cold, but that’s not an issue in space. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s  _ too  _ cold.”

“Even taking the energy out,” Mickey stated, “Cryostasis is incredibly dangerous. They’d have to be effectively dead in there.”

“That’s why it’s genius though,” Sara said. “Think about it. Stasis requires so much energy, and they had no idea how long they’d wait for rescue. Even the best energy collectors could have been damaged and the systems could have failed.”

“But you said it was too cold,” Mickey retorted. 

Sara laughed. “But there are still systems on board that need to function: computers, beacons, and the like. They have a minimum operating temperature.”

Mickey nodded. “Yes, but what does that have to do with this?”

Sara bounced in excitement. “They require a lot less energy, including the heating systems.”

Victor’s eyes widened as he realized where Sara was going. 

“They used the radiant heat from the electrical systems to provide the heat necessary. There aren’t even any tubes in there. The entire cabin is the stasis chamber. When they were ready for stasis they would fill it with a gas that slowed metabolism and protected the cells against the freezing process. By the time the temperature in the cabin dropped almost all functions would have slowed to a stop.”

“They’re insane,” Mickey said with a shake of his head. 

“It’s genius!” Sara argued. “No worrying about system failure, or trying to figure out how much reserve power they would need and how many years to rescue. It’s dangerous, yes, but efficient.”

“So why can’t we bring them in doctor?” Victor asked. 

“Cryostasis requires a bit more work to revive them safely. I’ll need more time to set up. Luckily they can wait.”

“Do what you need,” Victor said. “Let us know when you’re ready.”

Sara nodded and returned to the lift. 

“Cryostasis…” Mickey muttered. “Insane.”

“You have to be inventive when you’re so far from any help Lieutenant,” Victor said. “It’s unconventional, but efficient.”

“Well I won’t hold my breath on their recovery.”

Victor chuckled. “We’ll see.”

A strange atmosphere fell over the bridge while they waited for Sara to prepare for revival. Consoles beeped, and status updates were read, but everybody knew they were waiting. 

“The doctor reports that she’s ready,” Otabek announced after half an hour.

“Send Yurio out.” Victor turned to Mila. “Once he’s in position start reeling it in.”

Mila nodded. “Grapnel holding steady sir.”

“Good.”

A shuttle appeared on the screen, flying toward the pod. Yurio eased it on the side opposite the grapnel.

“He’s in position.” Otabek said. 

“Bring her in Mila,” Victor ordered.

“Aye sir.”

Victor watched the pod approach the ship, Mila retracting the line and Yurio using a shuttle to push. Then it disappeared as it got close to the bay. 

“I’m headed down,” Victor said. “Georgi, you have the bridge.”

Victor took one last look at Mila as he headed for the lift, concentration etched on her face as she brought the pod in the final few meters.

There was a crowd assembled outside of the shuttle bay as they waited for it to pressurize. 

“Captain,” Chris acknowledged from next to Sara. 

Victor noted the order. Medical staff were in front, then science personnel. 

“Listen everybody,” Sara said, raising her voice. “Stand back at least three meters when we open the pod. That should be enough room for any remaining stasis gasses to dissipate. They’re heavy and will sink, but it’s best to be safe. They’re not dangerous, but they are designed to slow metabolism. If you get at all dizzy let a member of medical know, and move out of the shuttle bay.”

Heads bobbed in understanding, then Sara moved aside. 

“Medical staff first,” Chris declared. “Science crews either give them room or assistance as needed. There will be plenty of time to examine the pod, so the order of priority will be those who need to gather data from space conditions first, then damage assessment, and so forth.”

A buzzer sounded, and the bay doors opened. Victor kept to one side as people streamed in. He noticed a satisfied look on Yurio’s face as the young pilot stepped from the shuttle craft. He walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Good job Yurio.”

Yurio nodded. 

“You can watch, or go back to bed if you’d like.”

“I’ll watch for a minute, then probably go back.” Yurio replied. 

Victor nodded. “Ok. I’ll see you for your normal shift.”

“Yes sir.”

“Everybody stand clear,” a technician yelled. “I’m ready to open.”

A semicircle formed around the pod while a second technician climbed on top. He covered his face with a piece of cloth and held a probe over the door to measure gas levels. 

The door hissed as the seal released, then slid open. Everybody held their collective breaths. 

“Clear!” the technician with the probe announced after a couple minutes. 

Sara swept her staff into action. “Team A, prepare to transport patients to the medical bay. Team B, accompany each and coordinate with Ensign Minami in medical to establish whatever records you can. Perform initial scans for radiation damage along the way.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the medical staff replied in unison as Sara ducked and climbed into the escape pod. 

Almost immediately Sara poked her head back out. “I’ve got one survivor on board. No apparent external decay.” She climbed out. “Get him to medical.”

A group of people climbed in. Victor angled for a look, but was immediately pulled aside. 

“Captain…” Sara said. “I think you need to take a look inside.”

“Doctor?”

“The pod is full, but there was only one person.”

“I thought the specs said that each pod held five.”

“That’s what I read too. It’s so tight in there it’s hard to move though. It looks like data storage is taking up every spare centimeter.”

“Data storage?”

Sara nodded. “I can’t be sure, that’s more Mickey’s department than mine, but they look like old data storage devices. Whatever happened, it looks like they sacrificed their own people to make sure their research wasn’t lost.”

A hover-gurney was rushed from the pod and toward the medical bay. Victor’s eyes tracked it until it the doors closed. 

“The survivor?”

“He appeared to be in good shape. I’m headed to medical to revive him now. Hopefully he’ll be able to give us some answers.”

“I’ll accompany you.”

“No,” Sara stated. “It’ll take a few minutes. In the meantime I highly suggest that you and Chris take a look inside and document it.”

Victor studied her face for a moment then nodded. “Ok doctor. I’ll see you in medical in a few minutes.”

Sara smiled and strode from the shuttle bay, following the path of her patient. 

“Chris!” Victor called, motioning to his first officer. “The doctor suggested we take a look before the science teams get in there.”

Chris nodded from where he’d been reviewing a tablet. “Aye sir.” He handed the tablet back to the crewmember who had given it to him and followed Victor to the pod. 

Victor climbed in, ducking into the cramped space. “Watch your head,” he warned, turning back to look at his friend. “It’s a tight fit.”

Chris eyed the pod warily. “You weren’t kidding. They wouldn’t have been doing much moving around in here.”

Victor spied what Sara had told him. He immediately agreed that it appeared that data storage was taking every available seat except for the pilot’s chair. 

Chris whistled. “I thought it was odd when they only pulled one person free.”

Victor nodded and turned back to the interior. “Their chance to escape, and yet they chose to fill the space with their research instead and sent only one person.”

“Hope it’s worth it,” Chris replied. 

“They obviously thought so.” Victor turned to look at the pilot’s chair. “Ninety years in stasis, alone. What must that have been like I wonder?”

“Hopefully he’ll be able to tell us.”

Victor smiled at Chris and nodded. “Get somebody from archives down here if you don’t have one already. Nothing else comes out of this pod until there’s a record of how it came in, sans pilot of course. I’m assuming the science teams can start on the exterior.”

Chris nodded. 

“Good,” Victor replied. “I’m headed to medical to see how Sara is coming with our survivor. Let me know if you need me.”

“Aye sir.”

Medical was a hub of activity as Victor entered, several people clustered around a bed, orders and requests a cacophony. Victor spotted Minami standing off to one-side, awed expression on his face and stars in his eyes. 

“Ensign?” Victor asked. 

“It’s Katsuki Yuri…” Minami replied. 

“Pardon?”

Minami looked up at Victor. “He was my idol growing up. He’s why I chose astrophysics. The man in the pod… it’s Katsuki Yuri… um… Yuri Katsuki.”

Victor smiled, seeing what the recovery meant to the ensign. “Tell me about him.”

Minami smiled. “One of two Japanese nationals on the Michell. The other was the first officer, Okukawa Minako. She’d known Yuri as a child before marrying the captain, Celestino Cialdini. Katsuki-san was married to Phichit Chulanont of Thailand. They’d met in college, been roommates for a while then wed shortly after the application period for the Michell began. They would have been one of the shortest marriages on board. 

“Katsuki-san was...is... a genius. He’d managed to develop several new theories about space curvature around stellar masses and to this day his equations form the basis for new discoveries.”

“Sounds important,” Victor said, watching Minami’s eyes wander back to the bed. 

“Yes, sir. Scientific journals of the time lamented his loss when the Michell failed to return. He’d only been twenty-five when they left, and already a major name in the field. When his theories were proven he was posthumously awarded a Nobel prize in Physics. They say that had he lived, he would have radically altered our very understanding of the universe.”

Victor smiled. “Seems he might still be around to do just that.”

Minami nodded. 

The crowd around the bed thinned, until it was just Sara and a nurse. 

“Ok,” Sara proclaimed. “Core temperature is good. Minimal cell damage. Nothing his body won’t be able to repair on its own. Let’s start his heart back up. Start defibrillation, lowest setting. Let’s try and ease him back into life.”

The body on the bed stiffened as an electrical current jolted it. A moment of silence, then Sara said, “Again.”

Another moment passed. “Let’s go up a notch,” Sara said. 

Victor walked over. “Doctor?”

“He’s been effectively dead for ninety years Captain,” she replied, not taking her eyes from the bed. “It’s not the easiest thing to come back from.” She glanced at a panel. “We almost had him, go up one more notch.”

The body stiffened again, then a collective sigh of relief as he involuntarily gasped in a breath. 

Nobody else dared breath until they saw the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Sara looked to a panel. “Heartbeat steady, breathing good. All internal organs appear to be functioning as expected for having just come out of cryostasis.”

“He’s alive?” Minami begged, still standing well out of the way. 

Victor looked to the man on the bed, color returning to his cheeks and lips as his circulation got stronger. Even asleep, he was the most beautiful thing Victor had ever seen. 

“He’s alive,” Victor confirmed. “Come see for yourself.”

Minami approached the bed, but kept a respectful distance as Sara flitted back and forth, checking monitors for any signs of trouble. 

“Alive, and should make a full recovery,” Sara declared. “All biosigns are good and there are no indications of trauma from being in cryostasis.”

“Congratulations Ensign,” Victor said, turning to the young man. “Not many people can claim to have been there when their idol comes back from the dead.”

Minami took a couple steps closer to get a better view. 

Victor turned his own gaze back to the man on the bed, forcing himself not to reach out and touch him. 

Black eyelashes fluttered, and Victor felt the air leave his body as soft brown eyes searched the room and landed on his face.

“Tenshidesu ka?” His voice was thick and hoarse, weak from disuse but Victor knew he was talking to him. 

Minami giggled, and Victor realized he’d understood the question. 

“Ensign?” Victor asked, looking at Minami. 

“He asked if you’re an angel,” Minami explained. 

Victor turned back and smiled at the man who was still looking at him. “No, I’m not an angel.”

“Watashi wa shinde iru hazudesu. Anata wa ningendearu ni wa amarini mo utsukushī.”

Victor turned to Minami, who was trying not to laugh. 

“He said he must be dead, because you’re too beautiful to be human.”

Victor smiled down at the man and tried not to lose himself in the brown eyes. “You’re very much alive, and I’m as human as you are.”

The man smiled up for a moment, then his eyes closed again. His lips parted and head lolled. 

“Doctor?” Victor asked. 

“He’s asleep,” Sara said softly. “That was a lot of activity for somebody who’s been in stasis that long. The best thing for him now is rest. I’ll let you know when he’s awake.”

Victor nodded. “Do you know why he was speaking Japanese?”

Sara shrugged. “It’s his native tongue and the one he would have heard since before he was born. It’s the easiest for his mind to access right now. Other languages will come back as he recovers. He seemed to understand just fine.”

Victor nodded, and once more restrained himself from touching the man on the bed. He wanted to run his hands through his hair and touch the slightly chapped lips. 

“I’m going to check in with Chris and Georgi,” Victor said. “If everything is under control then I’ll try to get a few hours of sleep before my shift starts. Wake me immediately if you need me though.”

“Aye sir,” Sara replied, adjusting something on a monitor. “I’ll stay with him, and will switch with somebody mid-shift if I need to sleep.”

Victor nodded. He turned to Minami. “Let him sleep for now. Talk to Emil or Chris. If you’re not needed right now get some rest before your shift starts.”

“There’s no way I could sleep right now,” Minami cried. 

Victor laughed. “I know the feeling, but you’ll be exhausted if you don’t. If you really have to be involved do something easy. Work with the archival crews on documentation. Answer questions for them or something.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor forced himself to put on a confident air as he strode from the medical bay, but as soon as he was around the corner and out of sight he slumped against a wall. He took several deep, shuddering breaths. 

He couldn’t get the image of the man on the bed from his mind, his beauty, and the depths of his brown eyes. Victor would have gotten lost in them had he kept staring. 

“Yuri Katsuki…” he whispered, almost afraid to say the name as he tested how it sounded from his lips. 

Victor ran a hand through his hair as he tried to compose himself. It was only as he heard footsteps that he stood straight again, pulled his suit jacket taut and strode toward the lift. 

“Yuri Katsuki…” he said again once the doors had closed, granting him the privacy to deal with his inner turmoil. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Yuri's been rescued!
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor shares his infatuation with Chris, and Yuri wakes up for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bridge chapter today but kinda helps set things up for later. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor paced, back and forth in his office. A tablet dangled from his fingers, report on it half written. He could feel Chris’s eyes on him, but his friend and first officer said nothing. 

“I’m in love Chris,” Victor finally said to break the silence. 

“Oh really?”

Victor could hear the amusement in Chris’s voice. He turned to see one eyebrow arched. 

“I’m serious.”

“I’m not doubting you, just thinking it’s rather fast. I mean he’s only been on board a few hours.”

“It only took a few minutes.” Victor tried to sit next to Chris, but almost immediately stood to pace again. “He’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anybody like him. And when he said I was beautiful…  _ me! _ I’m nothing compared to him!”

Chris leaned back against the couch cushions, resting one arm on top. “He said you were beautiful?”

“Well first he asked if I was an angel,” Victor said absentmindedly. “Then he said I was beautiful…”

Victor stopped and turned when he heard Chris chuckling. “What’s so funny?”

Chris smiled. “Who knew that all one needed to do to seduce you was be in cryostasis for nearly a century, then flirt with you upon waking?”

Victor glared. “Real funny.”

“The debonair captain, brought down by cheesy pick-up lines.”

“I hate that nickname.”

“They call you that for a reason though. You’re suave and have an easy mannerism about you in public. Almost everybody I talk to back home wonders how the ship functions with the stream of lovers that must surely follow you around. They never seem to believe me when I try to explain that you tend to keep to yourself. And you have no idea how many have asked me to introduce them, wanting a piece of you for themselves.”

“It’s not who I am though. It makes it sound like the only reason I’m in command of this ship is because I know how to charm the new species we encounter. It overlooks how hard I worked to be here, and that time and again I proved that I was ready for command not by personality, but because I trusted my instinct and knew what to do to both make a good impression and keep my crew alive.”

Victor sat down at his desk and rested his head in his hands, but as soon as he closed his eyes all he could see was Yuri’s face, and the depths of brown that he could get lost in.

Victor stood and started pacing again. “I can’t get him out of my mind Chris! I couldn’t sleep when I tried. I can’t even rest or close my eyes. Whenever I try to stop he’s there, that beautiful face, and those eyes that call to me.”

Chris sighed. “So you’re in love. There’s nothing wrong with that you know.”

“But there’s everything wrong with it!”

“It happens to all of us, even captains.”

“No, it’s not that…” Victor whined and sat again, then stood, running his fingers through his fringe as he paced. He stopped and turned to face Chris. “He’s a married man.”

“Who flirted with you the instant he saw you.”

“He couldn’t even speak English! If he couldn’t remember a language he was fluent in, what makes you think that he remembered much about his own life at that moment? But  _ I _ know! It’s right there in the records. He’s married! Taken! Unavailable!”

“Was married,” Chris corrected. “That was ninety years ago.”

“To us maybe, but to him it’s probably been only a day or so. Besides, we could still find more pods. His husband could be on one.”

Chris sighed. “About that… I don’t think there will be any other pods.”

Victor’s head whipped around. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I think he’s the only one.”

“Why?”

Chris sat forward. “Something seemed odd about the pod we found. Namely, why would they give up four seats to stuff all the data in there?”

“Ok…” Victor replied, moving to lean against his desk. 

“It suggests that they had other plans for the data, and those plans failed. So after you went back to your quarters Mickey and I started digging through the blueprints. Turns out that there was data storage on every pod.”

Victor blinked. “Ok…”

“But,” Chris continued, “there wasn’t enough room on each pod for all of it. It was designed to be split up. Core research findings would be copied across all of them, but other information, logs, charts, things they found along the way, all that would be split up. Even then there were redundancies. Each pod would take the core findings, and one-fifth the rest of the data. That way there would always be two pods with any specific information. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it meant that they’d taken potential losses into account and had planned for them.”

“I still don’t see where you’re going with this.”

Chris sighed. “What I’m saying is that if they got even half the pods off, they’d have been able to save half the crew and all the data. So why put it all in one, and give up those four seats, unless there was no other option.”

“Still just a theory. Maybe they got six pods out, and this was the redundancy.”

Chris shook his head. “I doubt that.”

“Why?”

“Did you notice the scorch marks around the hatch?”

“Yes, but I assumed they were from the push thrusters. Marks are normal with them.”

“I thought so too, ar first.”

“At first?”

“The scorches wrap around the side, and not by an insignificant amount. They were overpowered, even by their specs. Somebody shunted as much energy to them as they could in an obvious and desperate attempt to give that pod as much momentum as possible. I asked Mickey, and after just a brief look at the design specs he said that there was no way the system could launch more than one pod on a side like that. Overpowering a single pod would have meant draining power from the other pods, and maybe even the ship itself. The entire system was linked for simultaneous evacuation.”

Victor walked around his desk and sank into his chair. “Simultaneous?”

Chris nodded. “If there were more pods, all headed to Earth, then we should have already encountered them. Our scanners have a wide enough range, and we know better what we’re looking for now, but there’s nothing.”

“Maybe they found somewhere to land…”

“Maybe,” Chris sighed. “But Victor, I think we need to prepare ourselves for the possibility that Mr. Katsuki is the sole survivor.”

* * *

 

Yuri blinked away the glare of soft white lighting. A muted beeping sounded above his head. Beige ceiling tiles were overhead instead of the slate blue of the Michell. 

He wondered where he was, then the memories came back. He remembered Phichit running, leading him through the ship, their farewell at the escape pod. He remembered the sensor data from the ship dwindling until it stopped, until he knew his friends were dead. 

Yuri gasped for breath, clutching at his aching chest as he turned onto his side and curled into himself. He let out a strangled cry. 

Footsteps, running. A hand on his arm. 

“He’s having a panic attack,” somebody called. 

More running, then a female voice. “Everybody out. Give him space.”

A hand in his, warm and reassuring. The owner of the female voice kneeling in front of him, her violet eyes full of concern. 

“Deep breaths,” she said softly. “Take deep breaths for me, ok? You’re having a panic attack.”

Yuri nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out everything except the sound of her voice. 

“That’s it,” she murmured. “Nice and deep. You’re safe. I’m right here. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Yuri nodded, squeezing her hand tight, trying to ground himself. 

She squeezed back. “Keep breathing.”

“Hurts…” Yuri managed to gasp. 

“I know. Keep breathing. The pain will go away in a few minutes.”

Yuri nodded, still curled in on himself.

“Good. Keep it up, nice, deep breaths.” 

Yuri felt fingertips against the inside of his wrist. 

“In… out… just like that. Keep them even.”

Yuri forced himself to focus on his breathing as much as possible. 

“Good. Just like that. My name is Sara, can you tell me yours?”

Yuri gasped a couple breaths before he finally managed to blurt, “Yuri.”

“Good Yuri. Keep breathing. Listen to my voice. Find something to ground you.”

Yuri searched for something, but the warmth in his hand was like an anchor. He squeezed Sara’s hand harder, and she wrapped another hand around the outside of his. “Is this helping?”

Yuri nodded. 

“Good. Hold onto my hand as long as you need.”

“Sorry,” Yuri gasped after a few more breaths. 

“No need to be sorry,” Sara replied, voice soft and even. “It happens. Just focus right now. Deep breaths. You’re safe, and I’m right here. Nothing bad’s going to happen.”

Yuri nodded. He focused on breathing, and on the sound of Sara’s voice as she continued to talk him through the attack. After what felt like an eternity his chest loosened and he was able to breathe easier. 

“How are you doing?” Sara asked. 

“Better,” Yuri replied, cautiously opening his eyes. 

Sara smiled at him. “That’s good to hear.” She turned her head to look at somebody outside of Yuri’s field of vision. “Can you get him a glass of water please?”

Footsteps fading away. 

“I’m going to help you sit up now, ok?” Sara asked. 

Yuri nodded. He grasped Sara’s arm as she moved the other underneath his and helped him sit up, legs dangling off the bed. 

“Where am I?” Yuri asked. 

Sara smiled. “In time. Let’s first make sure that the attack is really over, ok?”

Yuri squeezed his eyes shut again and nodded. Something cool was pressed into his hands. He opened his eyes to see a glass of water. On impulse he took a long drink, sighing with relief as it hit his parched throat. Soon he’d drained the glass. 

“Do you need more?”

Yuri shook his head. “I’m ok for now.”

Sara nodded and set the empty glass aside. “Do you feel up to talking?”

Yuri thought about it a moment. “No… but I should anyway. I’m sure you have questions.”

“Questions can wait, as your doctor I can order everybody to give you as much space as you need.”

“You’re a doctor?”

Sara smiled and nodded. “And right now I’m  _ your _ doctor. What matters to me is your wellness.”

Yuri took another deep breath, then cast his eyes about the room. He quickly realized how blurry everything was. “My glasses…”

Sara blinked, then turned to sombody behind Yuri. “Find Ensign Minami, or maybe Lieutenant Nekola. See if his glasses are in the pod.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Sara turned back to him. “You need glasses?”

Yuri nodded. “Yes. I’m nearsighted.”

“Corrective surgery?”

Yuri shook his head. “They calculated the gain when I was a child, it wasn’t worth it at the time.”

“We can revisit if you want at a later date. The technology has improved somewhat.”

“I’m used to them.”

Sara smiled. “Understood, but it’s always an option should you change your mind.”

“Thank you.”

Sara nodded. “Is it ok if I let the captain know that you’re awake?”

Yuri nodded. 

Sara held Yuri’s hand for a moment, studying him, then returned the nod. “My office is just right over there. If the panic comes back, just call.”

“Ok.”

Yuri focused on his breathing as Sara walked out of sight. He heard murmurs, then she returned. 

“The first officer will be down in a couple minutes to greet you.” 

Yuri noted a slightly confused tone to her voice, but let it pass. He nodded in reply. 

The sound of a door sliding open, then footsteps. 

“Found his glasses ma’am,” a voice said. “They were tucked into a recess on the console.”

“Thank you,” Sara replied. She accepted the glasses then held them out to Yuri. 

Yuri took the glasses and slid them on, sighing with relief as the world came into focus. “Thank you,” he murmured. 

Sara smiled at him. “I’d like to perform a quick bioscan while we wait for the commander. Is that ok?”

Yuri nodded and shifted to lay down. 

“You can stay sitting if you want.”

Yuri blinked then sat up again. He watched as Sara picked up a wand and passed it back and forth over him. “That’s the scanner?”

Sara nodded. “I expect it’s quite a bit smaller than you’re used to.”

“I used to have to lay still while some hunk of metal formed a tube over me.”

“We still have similar setups for things like surgery and if we need an intensive scan, but for a simple check like this these are more than sufficient.”

She finished the scan then walked over to a monitor. “You’re looking good. Liver function is a tad low, but I can get you something that’ll clear it right up. And it’s nothing to worry about, it’s expected for the body to have to readjust after cryostasis. Do you prefer a pill or an injection?”

“Umm… whatever you think is best.”

Sara nodded, strode over to a console and made an entry. A few seconds later a panel opened, a small cup with a couple pills inside. She set the cup aside and disappeared for a minute before returining with a glass of water. 

“I think the timed release of the pill is better,” she said, handing over the water and cup. 

Yuri accepted both and took the medication, handing  the cup and glass back once he was done.

Sara was just walking back in when Yuri heard a door slide open. 

“Commander,” Sara said with a nod. 

Yuri turned slightly to see who was coming in. A man with two-toned hair, who couldn’t have been more than a few years his senior wore a smile as he approached. He walked around the bed to face Yuri. 

“The captain sends his regards,” the man said with an easy smile. “He’d have come but is expecting a call from the admiral who oversees us. I’m the first officer, Commander Christophe Giacometti, but you can call me Chris.” He held out his hand. 

Yuri accepted the handshake and added a slight bow. “Katsuki Yuri.”

“Do you prefer Katsuki-san?” Chris asked. 

Yuri smiled and shook his head. “Yuri is fine. I’m used to it.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Yuri.”

“Likewise.” Yuri looked around the room again. “Where… when… am I?”

Chris smiled. “Are you hungry?”

Yuri blinked a couple times, then his stomach answered with a rumble. 

Chris laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes. Doctor, is it ok if i take him to the mess?”

Sara nodded. “I’ll want to observe him overnight, but as long as he’s accompanied today I see no harm in him leaving medical.”

Chris smiled. “Come on. Let’s get some food and I’ll fill you in.”

Yuri  smiled and nodded. “Ok.” He then looked down at the soft blue clothing he wore. “Umm...”

“Patient scrubs,” Chris explained. “We can go to the clothier if you’d like, but nobody will question what you’re wearing.”

Yuri’s stomach rumbled again. “I… I guess let’s eat.”

Chris smiled. “I’ll take you by the clothier on the way back so he can take measurements and get you a few things in your size together. The clothes you arrived in were a bit fragile”

Chris helped Yuri to his feet. Yuri was unsteady for a few seconds, then leaned heavily on the other man as they headed toward the door. 

“Doing ok?” Chris asked as they reached the hallway. “I can ask for an antigrav chair if you’d like.”

Yuri shook his head. “I… I need to rebuild my strength is all.”

“You don’t have to push yourself.”

Yuri turned his head and smiled. “No time like the present to start.”

Chris chuckled. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will.”

Yuri felt his strength return as they headed to the mess, and by the time they entered the bustling room he was merely holding onto Chris’s arm for support. 

Chris guided him toward a table and helped him sit. “Any food allergies or dislikes?”

Yuri shook his head. 

“I’ll see what’s on the menu then and bring us back some lunch.”

Yuri watched as Chris approached the counter, then an excited squeal caught his attention. He turned to see a young man, blond hair with a red streak, staring at him. He smiled politely. 

The young man started in Yuri’s direction, but was quickly stopped. 

“Ensign,” Chris said.

“Yes sir?”

“There will be time later. For now let him catch up.”

“Yes sir,” the younger man replied with sigh.

Yuri blinked as the man turned and returned to a table on the other side of the room. Soon he was in discussion with a man with a beard. 

“What was that about?” Yuri asked when Chris returned, setting a tray of food in front of him. 

Chris smiled and took a seat across from Yuri. “He’s a fan.”

“A fan?” Yuri asked, blinking in confusion. 

“Mmhmm…” Chris replied, eyeing the food in front of them: a salad, chicken breast and steamed vegetables.

Yuri blinked a few times. “Of... _ me _ ?” he squeaked. 

“Who else?” Chris said with an amused smile. 

“But… I’m nobody! Why should I have fans?”

Chris laughed. “That’s not how he tells it. He says you were a national hero, a genius who was selected from a pool of extremely talented scientists to take part.”

“I just got lucky is all,” Yuri replied. “I’m really a dime-a-dozen astrophysicist.”

“Nothing dime-a-dozen about astrophysics,” Chris replied. “It’s a specialized field that takes dedication and hard work.”

Yuri shook his head. “I was still lucky. I’m sure it was really Phichit…”

Yuri felt tears at the corners of his eyes. 

“Phichit…” Chris prodded. 

“Phichit… who they really wanted.”

“Oh?”

Yuri pushed up his glasses and wiped his eyes. “He was the real genius. No matter what the engines threw at him, he had a creative approach to keep the ship going, and always a smile on his face.”

“He is your husband?” Chris prodded. 

Yuri nodded, then shook his head. “Was.”

“Isn’t he on another pod?”

Yuri shook his head. “There are no other pods. The system was damaged. Phichit was renovating it so they each had individual launch controls, but he’d only managed the one.”

Yuri wiped away a tear that was threatening to roll down his cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” Chris said.

Yuri shook his head. “Can… can we change the subject?”

Chris smiled. “Of course. What would you like to talk about?”

“Where… where am I?”

Chris nodded. “This is the United Earth Ship Galilei.”

“United… United Earth?”

Chris laughed. “It was a few years after you left. All the major nations came together to create a unified space force, and more joined over time. It allowed everybody to pool resources and talent. Some nations still keep a smaller fleet for national interests, but even those are dwindling. Most just requisition a mission if there is something of national interest in space.”

Yuri looked around at the clean lines and soft color scheme, and the uniforms almost everybody wore. “What… When…” He paused, took a deep breath, and fixed Chris with a steady gaze. “How long?”

Chris sighed and sat back slightly. “Ninety years.”

“Ninety years?” Yuri whispered. 

“Give or take a year, depending on when in your mission the pod was deployed.”

“Ninety years…” Yuri echoed. He wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed his eyes shut. 

The scrape of a chair, then a hand on his arm. He opened his eyes to see Chris kneeling beside him. “I can’t promise that adjusting will be easy. A lot of things have changed, but a lot have stayed the same too. I’m sure of it.”

Yuri tried to smile, but even he knew it was unconvincing. 

* * *

 

Victor wondered how much pacing the carpet in his office could handle when the door slid open. He turned to see Chris walking in. 

“Well?” Victor asked. 

“Are you sure he’s the one who flirted with you?” Chris asked, taking a seat. “He’s so shy and reserved I’m sure you’d half to all but show up naked for him to even know if he was being flirted  _ with. _ ”

“Do you think that would work?” Victor asked, only half joking. 

Chris laughed. “You’re adorable when you’re in love Victor.”

“Not funny Chris.”

“Neither is asking me to go on a fishing expedition as your wingman. I appreciate that you’re completely enamored with him, but at some point you’re going to have to make an appearance yourself. There are only so many times the ‘expecting a call with the admiral’ excuse will work.”

Victor sighed and sunk onto the couch next to his friend. He braced his elbows on his knees and held his head between his hands. “There’s no way I can avoid him until we drop him off at the station is there?”

“Not without being rude.”

“What about the other pods? Maybe once we find his husband I can put him out of my mind.”

Chris sighed. “It’s as I expected. There are no other pods.”

“No pods?” Victor asked, looking up at his friend. 

“No. He said that the system was damaged, and that his was the only one to launch.”

“Did he say anything else?”

Chris shook his head. “Once he learned how much time had passed he sort of withdrew. I managed to get lunch in him, and we took a trip to the clothier to get his measurements, but I have the feeling that he needs time to process it all.”

“I see.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Keep avoiding him… for the time being.”

“Why?”

“Because even worse than hitting on a married man, is hitting on a widower who is grieving. The last thing he needs is that kind of emotional conflict.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Poor Victor... which is worse, hitting on a married man or hitting on a widower?
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri starts to settle into life aboard the Galilei. Meanwhile Victor continues to struggle with his feelings toward the younger man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a glimpse into life on the ship tonight. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“How are you feeling this morning?” Sara asked as she entered the patient area of the medical bay. 

Yuri turned his head to stare at the ceiling. “Your beds leave something to be desired.”

Sara laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll have you out of here and in a real bed soon enough.”

Yuri swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. 

“I’m trembling again,” he said after a moment, raising his hand and watching it. 

Sara sighed, grabbed a chair and walked over. She sat down facing Yuri, looking slightly up at him. “I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can do about that.”

“Because there’s nothing wrong with me…”

“Physically, no. Your body is still recovering from cryostasis, but nothing about that would give you tremors.”

“Then I’m crazy.”

“No, you’re not. You’ve been through a traumatic experience.”

“How do you know what I’ve been through?”

“Because one doesn’t spend ninety years in cryostasis without good reason. You don’t have to say even one more word on what happened, and I’ll still know it was a traumatic experience.”

Yuri tried and failed to smile. Instead he shifted back until his back was against the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. “It hurts…”

Sara stood and patted the spot next to him. “May I?”

Yuri nodded, and she hopped up to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s times like this that I wish we were a bigger ship. Some of the ones closer to Earth are big enough that they have their own counselors on board. I’ll be honest, I’m not a substitute for a trained counselor. I know how to fix bodies, but the mind can still be a mystery to me.”

Yuri rested his forehead against his knees. “So what do I do?”

“It’s still too early to say what kind of long-term effect all this will have. Grieving is normal, and everybody goes through it differently. You could get through this on your own, or it might have a lasting impact that could require additional help. It’s not for me to say.”

“So there’s nothing I can do about this?”

“On the contrary. Do what feels right. Find somebody to talk to, or cry, or go down to the gym and run until you can’t move. The only wrong thing is to bottle up your grief and not give it an outlet.”

“There’s a gym?” Yuri asked, head coming up enough for him to look at Sara over the rise of his knees. 

Sara smiled and nodded. 

“Is there a dance studio? Or...”

“Or?” Sara prodded after a couple seconds. 

“I’m not lucky enough for there to be an ice rink on board, am I?”

Sara’s smile faltered a bit. “No ice rink, I’m sorry. But there is a multi-purpose studio with a barre and wood floors. It’s open for general use most of the day. There are often classes in the evening, and yoga before the day shift starts.”

“Are any of the classes ballet?”

“I’m not sure. But there is a schedule posted.”

“Wh… where is it?”

Sara hopped up off the bed. “I have a better idea.” She strode away and returned a moment later with a scanner wand. 

Yuri uncurled and watched as the scanner passed over him. As soon as Sara was done he pulled his knees to his chest again. 

“We’re going to take care of that bed thing,” Sara said, looking over the data and pushing buttons on her console. “I see no reason to keep you here.”

“What?”

Sara smiled at him. “I’m assigning you quarters. I’d still like you to come in once a day for the next few days, just for checkups, but you’ll heal better now by being able to do what you want. Besides, that’ll work well with my one prescription.”

“What’s that?” Yuri asked, mumbling as he rested his chin on his knees. 

“Two hours of social time a day. Make friends, or just talk to people. I think ensign Minami may be a bit much right now, he’s got so much energy and is so excited that it was you we found, but anybody else should be more to your comfort level until you start to adjust.”

“Social time…” Yuri echoed. 

Sara sighed and hopped onto the bed again. “Your body is exactly where it should be in terms of recovery, but I don’t want you withdrawing. Adjusting will be easier if you start facing it now. The longer you put it off the harder it will be.”

“Social…” Yuri said again. 

“I’m not saying you have to attend a party. Just talk to people. Maybe whoever is in the studio at the same time as you, or share a table in the mess. If you want you can even come in here and talk to me for two hours. I just don’t want you to hide. Ok?”

Yuri mumbled a noise of understanding. 

Sara sighed and hopped off the bed again. She walked back over to the panel. “You’ll be in guest quarters. Cabin ten-thirty-one. That’s ten dash thirty dash one. Ship layout is fairly straightforward. That’s on deck ten, section thirty. It’s on the same deck as the multi-purpose studio and gym, and as the mess. There’s plenty of traffic on that deck, so it shouldn’t be hard to find people.”

Yuri nodded. 

“Come on. I’ll show you to your quarters, and give you a general tour of the ship.”

Yuri uncurled and climbed off the bed. His legs were still weak, but he adjusted after a moment. Sara offered an arm, but he waved it away.

Sara nodded then led the way into the hall. “Medical is on deck seven. The ship is seventeen decks in total, and designed in a sort of rounded arrow shape. Deck ten is the widest deck.”

Yuri followed her into a lift. 

“The computer responds to standard voice controls, what deck you’d like to go to, lights, temperature and the like. More complex functions require manual input.”

Sara paused, then smiled. “How about we stop by the clothiers and pick up your new clothes, then I’ll show you your quarters. Once you get changed I’ll take you on a tour.”

“Ok…” Yuri mumbled. 

They had just exited the lift when Yuri heard a voice behind him. He turned to see Chris striding toward them. 

“Good afternoon Doctor,” Chris started. “You too Yuri. Where are you headed?”

Sara smiled. “I was taking Yuri to the clothier to pick up his clothes, then I was going to show him to his quarters before giving him a tour of the ship.”

Chris grinned. “How about I take him off your hands. You’re still working on your requisition paperwork aren’t you?”

Sara made a face which quickly turned to an amused smile. “It’s not a problem commander. There’s plenty of time.”

“The captain is trying to get it in early this time.”

Sara blinked, and Yuri couldn’t quite name her expression. “Ok… If it’s ok with you Yuri…”

Yuri nodded. 

“Tomorrow then. Any time is fine for a checkup.”

“Thank you doctor,” Yuri replied. He watched her head back to the lift. 

“Let’s get you settled in, shall we?” Chris said, draping an arm over Yuri’s shoulders.

* * *

 

Victor pinched the bridge of his nose. Numbers and information swam in front of his eyes. One of his crew was requesting a transfer to the same ship as her husband, something Victor could hardly deny being as she’d gotten pregnant during their last leave together and she was due within a few months. Stellar cartography was requesting an upgrade to their equipment while they were docked for resupply, and he still had to go over the requisition forms from the various departments. 

Then there were the crew rotations. Trainees coming and leaving, others being promoted onto or off of his ship. 

He reached blindly for his cup of coffee, and grimaced when the sharp flavor hit his tongue. It quickly grew into a noise of displeasure when he realized it was cold. 

The door to his office chimed. 

“Come in,” Victor said, not looking up from the tablets scattered across his desk. 

“Now I know you’re sick,” Sara said. 

Victor looked up. “Hello Doctor, what can I do for you?”

Sara smiled. “Just concerned. Our captain is acting rather strange the past two days.”

“I’m fine,” Victor retorted, an annoyed tone to his voice. “I’m just trying to keep the admiral from breathing down my neck over these requisitions. They don’t like dealing with rush orders.”

“Uh-huh,” Sara replied, leaning against Victor’s desk. “Even I know that more than a month out is plenty of time. Station one-four-two’s policy is two weeks for standard, and three days advance notice for rush, unless it’s something super specialized.”

Victor’s eyes narrowed. “What’s this about doctor?”

Sara smiled and held out her hand. Victor sighed and held out his, she promptly turned it and pressed two fingers to the pulse point on his wrist. Her violet eyes trained on his face. 

“Yuri Katsuki,” Sara said. 

Victor took a sharp breath, and only released it when Sara laughed. 

“I thought so.”

“Thought what?”

“Pupils dilating, pulse quickening, erratic breathing… It’s bad.”

Victor snatched his hand away. “I don’t have time for this doctor.”

“How long are you going to avoid him? Is that why Chris has run interference for two days?”

Victor glared. 

Sara moved across the room to sit on the couch. “I knew something was up as soon as you used the ‘call with the admiral’ excuse. You never think twice about blowing off the admiral if there is something more interesting, and a man from ninety years ago is definitely interesting. I gave you the benefit of the doubt though, thought that perhaps you were playing it safe. But then Chris magically appears to take over giving our guest a tour of the ship. Yuri might not know something’s up, but I do. You were worried I’d bring him to the bridge, or insist on introducing you properly.”

“Why is everybody suddenly so interested in my romantic life?” Victor complained. 

“Because you don’t have one,” Sara stated. “Most of the crew has no idea, but the senior staff can all see how hard it is on you.”

“I see Chris has been sharing his plans to mutiny until I take a few days of leave with you.”

“He doesn’t have to. I’ve seriously considered writing the order myself.”

“This ship needs me.”

“Which is why we want to see you relax. Too much stress leads to mistakes.”

Victor stared at Sara until she sighed. 

“Yuri Katsuki…” she repeated. “You can’t avoid him forever.”

“I can try.”

“Why? He seems to be a nice man. I’m sure you two would be happy together.”

Victor laughed sarcastically. “Hi, I’m Captain Nikiforov, but you can call me Victor. Welcome aboard. So I know you just lost your husband and all, but you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. Can I take you to dinner tomorrow, maybe tonight?”

“That might be a tad fast,” Sara replied with a smile. “Why don’t you go slow. Get to know him. He’s alone here, and he needs a friend. It’ll also give you time to work out your own feelings.”

* * *

 

Yuri sank to the wood floor in relief, glad that his new workout clothes gave him the range of motion he needed. He started stretching, warming up for the ballet class that was on the schedule. Students filtered in, and except for a few curious glances all started their own warmups. Finally a young woman with a shock of red hair came in, sat at the front of the room, and started stretching. 

Yuri could feel her eyes on him, but she didn’t bring any added attention to him by approaching. Within a few minutes she stood and the rest of the class followed. Everybody took their place at the barre as she led them through the curriculum for the evening. 

Emotion and tension melted away as Yuri moved. His muscles loosened, and he was able to relax in ways he hadn’t expected. Before he knew it the class was over, the other students filing out. The red-haired teacher finally walked up to him, a smile on her face. 

“You’ve danced before.”

Yuri nodded. “I trained in ballet, before I started figure skating.”

“You were a figure skater?”

Yuri nodded. “Until I was injured back in college. I can still skate, but the more difficult jumps required for competition were out of the question. I had no option but to retire.”

“I see.” She moved her water bottle and held out her hand. “Lieutenant Mila Babicheva. Tactical officer.”

Yuri blinked several times as he shook her hand. “You mean you’re not just a dance instructor?”

Mila laughed. “No more than you’re just a scientist.”

Yuri blushed. “It seems you know who I am.”

Mila smiled softly. “Shall we cool down together, or keep dancing? It’s another hour before the next group comes in.”

Yuri nodded and they took places at the barre, facing each other. 

“You’ll find that word travels fast on a ship of this size,” Mila said, arching her arm over her head. 

Yuri laughed. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Oh?”

“Gossip traveled at lightning speeds on the Michell. Any news had a matter of hours before the entire ship knew.”

Mila laughed. “Well it didn’t take long for word to get around that we’d found you. Of course Minami might have had something to do with that.”

“Minami… I’ve heard that name before. Doctor Sara said he… is a fan?”

Mila nodded. “Ensign Kenjirou Minami. Originally from Japan. Apparently your mission so inspired him that it led him to pursue a career in astrophysics.”

“Wow…”

“You mean you haven’t met him?”

Yuri shook his head. 

“Oh goodness, well… you’ll know when you do. He’s got blond hair with a red streak at the front.”

Yuri blinked. “Oh… he tried to talk to me in the mess yesterday, but the commander shooed him off.”

“He probably did you a favor,” Mila laughed. “That man hasn’t shut up since they found the pod.”

Yuri thought about the pod for a few seconds, and the creeping anxiety started to form around the edges again. “Can… can we change the subject?”

Mila studied him for a moment, then nodded. “Of course. What do you want to talk about?”

“How about how a tactical officer teaches the ballet class.”

Mila laughed. “I get to blame my mentor for this.”

“Your mentor?”

Mila nodded. “When I was in the academy one of the admirals who taught tactical courses took me under her wing. Lilia Baranovskaya. She’s considered one of the best. But before she was one of the best tacticians in the forces, she was a prima ballerina of the Bolshoi Ballet. She only entered the space forces once she retired from dance.”

“Really?”

Mila grinned. “Not that being older than all the fresh recruits stopped her, or even slowed her down. She has a mind that’s calculating, and she can see the big picture in ways most can’t. She served aboard a couple ships before being rapidly promoted back to headquarters. Now she teaches and oversees ship deployment in relationship to the various species we’ve encountered.”

“In relationship…” Yuri echoed, question on the tip of his tongue. 

“Most are friendly, some are neutral. A couple are antagonistic. We respect their borders, but Earth’s sphere of influence is growing, and a couple don’t like it. She can spot those movements that try to test our limits before they come to fruition, and counteracts them.”

“Wow…”

Mila dropped to a plié. “She says that it’s nothing but a bigger dance.”

“How so?”

“She says in a ballet you have to always be aware of everybody’s movements. Before you launch yourself into the lead’s arms, you have to know where he is, and where he’s going to be. There’s anticipation, but it can’t be reactionary either. You either move, or you don’t.”

Mila paused, then laughed. “She used to scold me daily.” Her voice darkened for effect. “‘We’re not robots Mila. Every dance is different. Perhaps your partner is six inches off where he normally is, or the conductor is a few beats per minute slow. The only thing you can control is your own reaction. But don’t just react! Each conductor ticks off the tempo with his baton, and every partner has a series of movements that blend one to the next. The cues are infinite. If you react you’re too late, but if you read the cues you’ll wow the audience every time.’”

Mila turned to stretch at the barre. “I didn’t understand for the longest time. Then she said that the only way I would be allowed to continue under her would be to take ballet classes, and perform with the academy ensemble. I was furious. I was in training to be a tactical officer, not a performer. But it worked. After a single semester I started to understand. I began to learn the language of movement. I can’t see it at her scale yet, she can see entire operas in the movement of fleets, but I’ve known to back down from seemingly hostile situations because of the way the cues line up.”

“And now you teach ballet in your off-hours?”

Mila nodded. “A few partner dances too. Some people prefer them.”

Yuri smiled, and moved away from the barre to stretch and cool down. Several seconds passed, then Mila joined him on the floor. 

“What did my movements say?” Yuri asked after a couple minutes. 

Mila smiled. “At first I wondered if you’d wandered into a higher level class than you’d intended. You were closed, nervous. But as soon as we started dancing you seemed to come alive. The studio is a place of great freedom for you, isn’t it?”

Yuri nodded. 

“In that case, feel free to drop in during any of my classes. You’re obviously beyond where we were today. You might not have as much space during open hours, but there are always a few people hoping to dance.”

Yuri smiled. “Thank you.”

Mila grinned, stood and offered a hand. Yuri took it and allowed her to help him to his feet. 

“Anytime. Now, are you hungry?”

Yuri nodded, feeling a rumble in his stomach at the mention of food.

“Great. I’ll join you, protect you from Minami for a bit longer. Is fifteen minutes long enough to go to your quarters and change?”

“I think so.” 

“Great! I’ll see you in the mess in fifteen minutes.”

Yuri smiled. “Thanks… um… should I use your rank?”

Mila laughed. “Just call me Mila!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Slowly building those relationships between Yuri and the crew. :-)
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew determines the best way to handle a debris field around the black hole, but an accident causes everybody to pause and reflect on the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, time for another chapter! Thanks again for all the love on this fic. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor sat at the conference table and eyed his senior staff. He settled into his chair, then nodded. “Status people.”

“There is a sizable debris field surrounding the black hole,” Chris stated. “We’ve reduced speed to better navigate it.”

“Why didn’t sensors or long range scanners detect it sooner?” 

Mickey leaned in and put his elbows on the table. “We don’t know yet.” He sighed and shared a glance with Emil before continuing. “Captain, if possible we’d like to get a sample of what’s out there and examine it in the lab. Maybe if we can figure out what it’s made of, we can figure out why we didn’t see if before now.”

“And if they’re just rocks?”

“Then it’s probably something to do with the proximity of the black hole.”

Victor held one finger to his lip as he thought about it, then nodded. “Ok. Pick your target.” He turned slightly. “Yurio, you’re our best for precision flying. You up for this?”

Yurio nodded. “Da. These low speeds have been boring, this will give me something to do.”

“Sorry to bore you ensign,” Victor teased. He then turned to Emil and Mickey. “Do you think that the data recovered from the Michell might help?”

“Possibly,” Emil replied. 

“But we’re having difficulty interfacing it with our systems,” Mickey added. 

“Was it damaged?” Victor asked. 

Emil shook his head. “Not that we can tell, but like everything else on that ship, they didn’t do things the normal way.”

Victor pinched the bridge of his nose. “What now?”

“They used some sort of rapid access port,” Mickey replied. “Data was transferred to and from the modules in short bursts, rather than the modules being powered for long periods. I’ve request the corresponding plug schematics from the forces archives, and a design for an adapter. They’re hoping to have design specifications to me in a day or so. Once I build it we should be able to get in there.”

Victor nodded. “Keep me informed.”

“Yes sir.”

“Emil,” Victor continued, “how’re initial scans looking?”

Emil beamed. “We’re getting wonderful data that we can’t make heads or tails of… yet. I’ve got ensign Minami and my other astrophysicists working overtime, not that I could have really kept them away.”

“Stellar cartography?”

“Right now they’re charting this debris field as best they can, but they’re waiting for us to start circumnavigation. They really want a look at what’s on the other side.”

“Don’t we all?” Victor said with a smile. He turned again. “Mila, work with Emil once Yurio brings back a sample. So far we’ve been able to navigate the field, but I want you ready in case we need to make an opening. Find out the easiest way to destroy these asteroids.”

“Yes captain,” Mila replied. 

“Otabek, since sensors are having problems with these asteroids, I want you scanning for any kind of communication signal through the field. We don’t want to blow up somebody’s home… if anybody were crazy enough to take up residence next to a black hole.”

Otabek nodded in reply. 

Victor finally turned to his doctor. “Sara, how’s our guest?”

“Physically he’s fine. He’s still recovering obviously, but it’s more a matter of just building back up at this point. Mentally though…” Sara sighed.

“Go on,” Victor prodded. 

“Not to put too fine a point on it, but he’s depressed and grieving. I’ve ordered him to socialize, but there’s no outlet for his thoughts. He has a significant amount of survivor guilt.”

“What do you suggest we do?”

Sara folded her hands in her lap. “We need to give him a distraction, give him something to do other than roam the ship or retreat to his quarters. I’d like to make him feel useful again.”

“Do you think he’s ready to talk about what happened?”

Sara shook her head. “He gets anxiety… sometimes even panic attacks when he thinks about it. I’d rather not push unless we need. Let him come to us with that.”

Victor nodded and sat back, finger on his lips again. “So we need to find something for an astrophysicist from almost a hundred years ago to do.”

“Why not let him work with us?” Emil replied. “The basics haven’t changed, and given his level when he left he’s not missed much. If he wants I’m sure we can find him a spot in the lab.”

“Ensign Minami would be thrilled,” Victor said with a smile. 

“As would a good portion of my staff,” Emil laughed. “Kenjirou is his biggest fan, but almost everybody there respects his work.”

“And if astrophysics is too raw for him right now?”

“Send him to me,” Mickey replied. 

“To you?”

Mickey nodded. “He’s been there, closer than we are. He might be able to tell me things to look for.”

Victor nodded. “You have a point.” He turned back to Sara. “Let him know that he’s welcome in both the astrophysics and engineering sections to help.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor turned back to Chris. “Update Georgi before he comes on duty.”

Chris nodded. 

“Dismissed,” Victor said. 

People stood from around the table, except for Chris, who openly studied Victor. 

“Something on your mind commander?” Victor asked. 

“You still haven’t seen him have you? Our… guest as you put it? Yuri.”

Victor scowled. “No, I haven’t.”

“It’s quite rude you know, for the captain of a ship this size to not introduce himself. Especially since you have no real excuse for it.”

Victor narrowed his eyes in response. 

Chris sighed and stood. “Victor, it’s been three days. He’s going to be here for at least a month before we can drop him off at the station. In the meanwhile you both have to eat, and move around this ship. We’re in a confined space. At some point he  _ is _ going to realize that the captain is actively avoiding him.”

“Chris, how much  _ more _ guilt would he feel if he saw me? He flirted with me as soon as he woke up, probably before he even remembered that his husband was dead, or that he’d even been married. It’s easier for him if he doesn’t have to face that.”

Chris sighed again and headed for the door. “If you say so… captain.”

* * *

 

Yuri’s feet dangled over the edge of the hospital bed. He watched as Sara ran her wand over him again. 

She returned to a console and smiled. “I’m going to increase the time between check-ins. Instead of once a day we’ll make it one every third day, unless you feel sick. You’re still to socialize, but I see no sign of problems from cryostasis. If you continue to progress well I’ll soon release you from care entirely.”

Yuri nodded as Sara dragged a chair around and sat in front of him. “Now that we’ve got the physical diagnosis out of the way, how are you doing?”

Yuri chewed on his bottom lip. “It’s… not as bad.”

“Are you making friends?”

“Mila in the studio seems nice.”

“She’s a good officer, lots of fun. She’s a good one to be friends with. Who else?”

“Chris…”

Sara sighed. “You’re still mostly sticking to yourself aren’t you?”

Yuri hung his head and nodded. 

“I understand it’s hard.”

“I just don’t know what to do…”

Sara smiled. “I may have an answer for that.”

Yuri looked up slightly. “Doctor?”

“You’re still a good scientist, and you have experience in studying this black hole. Both the science and engineering departments have indicated that they’d welcome any assistance you’d be willing to give.”

“But I’m almost a century behind the latest research, and I’m not an engineer at all!”

Sara shook her head. “Your skills are still completely viable. There might be a few things you don’t know, but experience will make up for that. And regarding the engineering department, they’re still calibrating sensors and fine-tuning the equipment. You’ve been where we’re going. You might have insights they haven’t even thought of.”

Yuri pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. “I’m not sure…”

“Think about it?” Sara urged. “For both of us. I want to see you integrating, and you’ll feel better the more you can move past what happened.”

Yuri tightened his grip around his knees. 

The ship rocked slightly with a noise, making Yuri look up, eyes wide. “What was that?” He looked around, trying to find the source. 

Sara stood and put a hand on his arm. “It’s nothing to worry about. That was the shuttle bay depressurizing. Sometimes the inertial dampeners can’t quite compensate in time.”

“The shuttle bay?”

Sara nodded. “Our sensors are having difficulty with the debris field. Our helmsman is taking out a shuttle to get a sample. We’re hoping to be able to modify the sensors to see the asteroids better.”

“I remember the debris field,” Yuri muttered, chin settling back onto his knees. “We determined that it’s in stable orbit. It’s too far to be properly in the gravity well, but still caught enough to not break free.”

“I wonder what caused it…” Sara mused. 

“We hadn’t figured it out yet.”

“Really?”

“We had ideas, but couldn’t prove them.”

Sara stood and rested her hand on Yuri’s arm. “I need to get back to preparing radiation inoculants. Why don’t you stay and chat?”

Yuri nodded. 

“Come on, the lab is this way.”

Yuri followed Sara through her office and into a lab space. He took a seat on a stool out of the way and watched as she gathered materials. 

“What are you preparing for?” Yuri asked. 

“We don’t know exactly what types of radiation to expect, so I’m preparing a broad spectrum inoculant. You don’t happen to know any one in particular I should prep for, do you?”

Yuri shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t talk to Isabella much about her work.” 

“Isabella?”

Yuri nodded. “Isabella Yang… She was our doctor. You remind me of her, strong and supportive.”

Sara smiled. “Why didn’t you talk to her?”

Yuri knew what Sara was doing; trying to make him more comfortable talking about the past. He sighed. “Talking to Izzy usually meant talking to her husband… JJ. Jean-Jacques. He was a tad boisterous for my tastes. Once we got out range of the Earth communication net he found he didn’t have much to do, so spent a lot of time with her.”

“He was the communication officer?”

Yuri nodded. “He was loud, but had a weird sort of charisma. Everybody thought that if we encountered new races he’d be the best to talk to them.’

Sara chuckled. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Just thinking how narrowly you must have missed meeting the Andrathi.”

“Andrathi?”

Sara nodded and carried a tray of vials to a centrifuge. She loaded the machine and leaned on it as she continued. “You had to pass right through their space. When they’re awake they regularly patrol their space, looking for new species.”

“When they’re awake?”

Sara smiled, checked the centrifuge, then continued. “Their planet has an elliptical orbit. They have a long hibernation at the far end. The entire species hibernates at the same time, even though they’re a spacefaring society now.”

Yuri shook his head. “To think we were so close.”

Sara stopped the centrifuge. “They weren’t the only one, but you were probably closest to their homeworld. The other claimed areas your ship would have gone through would have been at the far edges.”

“How many species has mankind encountered now?”

Sara set the tray of vials down. “About… a hundred?”

“That many?” Yuri’s eyes widened. “When we left we’d only encountered a handful, and they were wary of us.”

Sara nodded. “Earth is lucky in a way. There was a lot of unclaimed space around us. We didn’t have to fight a more technologically advanced nearby civilization to establish ourselves. Then we met the Moldenar, and they introduced us to galactic communication standards. Now we have adaptive translators, and use the same frequencies as other advanced species.” She paused. “Part of the reason we’re even this far out is to meet new species.”

“Like the… Andrathi?”

Sara smiled. “Like the Andrathi. I was aboard when we first met them almost eighteen months ago. They’d just woken up.”

“Can you tell me about…”

An alarm sounded, then the communication panel sounded a notification. Sara rushed to it. “Med bay.”

“Prepare for incoming Doctor,” a voice that seemed familiar, but Yuri couldn’t place, said from the panel. “Yurio ran into a problem out there.”

“Do we know what happened?”

“Not yet. He said he was making an emergency return to the ship, then we lost communication. Mila’s going to grab his shuttle with the grapnel and tow him in.”

“Did he say anything before communication was lost?”

“He mentioned it being hard to breathe.”

“I’ll meet him at the bay.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Sorry to cut this short,” Sara said, grabbing a med kit. She then stopped short and stared at Yuri. 

“You. Stay here. In the med bay I mean.”

“Doctor?”

“You’re shaking again. I’d rather you be here if you have another panic attack. I’ll be back as quickly as possible.”

“Ok.”

Sara’s coat flared as she rushed from the room. 

Yuri held his hand at eye level, before grabbing it with the other. He stood and returned to the main room, pacing to try to settle his nerves. 

The door slid open. “Out of the way!” a dark haired man yelled as he stumbled in with a blond haired man draped over his shoulders. 

Yuri snapped to attention, he ran over to brace the unconscious man as the dark-haired man moved to lay him on a bed. As soon as the blond was stretched out on the bed both Yuri and the other man moved out of the way, Sara moving in to diagnose. 

“Get me an air sample from the shuttle!” she yelled to another medic, who ran out. “How long was he silent?” she asked the dark haired man who had carried him in. 

“Two, maybe three minutes?”

“He’s breathing,” Sara said, then scowled as she looked at a scan. “But there’s not nearly enough oxygen in his blood. He’s in danger.” 

Sara rushed to a cabinet and grabbed a vial. She slammed it into a pressurized delivery device, held it to his neck and administered the drug. Another scan, a second dose, then she breathed a sigh of relief on the third scan. “Oxygen levels are good. I need to determine what was in that gas though.”

The blond man coughed, and his eyes fluttered open. 

“Yura…” the dark haired man rushed over, grabbing the blond’s hand. 

The blond man, Yura, turned. “Beka…”

Beka kissed Yura’s hand, then tipped his forehead in so that they touched. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Next time I’ll let you know before I almost die,” Yura croaked. 

“Smartass,” Beka said.

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

There was a hand on Yuri’s arm. He turned to see that Sara had moved next to him. 

“Let’s give them some space,” she said softly. 

Yuri nodded and followed her to her office. 

“Ensign Yuri Plisetsky, helmsman,” Sara started. “He’s the man we brought in. He was exposed to some sort of gas.”

“His name is Yuri too?”

Sara nodded. “Most of us are calling him Yurio now though.”

“The other man… Beka? He called him Yura.”

“Lieutenant Otabek Altin, communications officer. I didn’t realize that things had gotten so serious between them.”

“Really?”

Sara nodded. “Makes me wonder if there was something between them at the academy.”

“Academy?”

Sara nodded again. “Part college, part training facility.”

Yuri looked back to the man on the bed. “He doesn’t look old enough to be out of college.”

“He’s twenty-two. He just graduated about six months ago.”

“That young?”

Sara nodded. “He’s one of the youngest, but the entire crew is fairly young. The captain is thirty-four, and Chris is thirty-two.”

“Celestino and Minako were both approaching sixty…”

Sara turned. “Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the norm. But the captain has worked hard, and proved that he’s ready for command. Headquarters decided that if they were going to have a young captain, they’d give him a young crew. We’re all among the top in our field though. I was doing research on diseases caused by non-terran microorganisms during my final years in school.”

“Really?”

Sara nodded. “My brother, Mickey, he’s a genius with quantum flux engines. Mila is the handpicked protege of the United Earth Space Forces’ top tactician. Yurio there won space races as a teen before entering the academy. Otabek has an ear for language, especially lyrical languages. He sometimes throws parties in the mess, and DJ’s himself.”

“Sounds like an impressive crew.”

“It is. All the way down. Ensign Minami in astrophysics is twenty-four and just earned his doctorate. He was the top rated student in his class. He would have graduated sooner if he’d have focused just on his studies, but the military training slowed him down.”

Yuri turned. “With all these geniuses… I’m not sure I could contribute anything. Everything I know is outdated.”

“You’re a genius too you know.”

“No. I’m nothing that special.”

* * *

 

Yuri wandered the corridors of the deck, ending up walking in oversized circles as his mind raced. The lights had dimmed for the evening some time prior, and Yuri was glad that the people were thinning out and headed to bed. 

The shuttle accident weighed heavy on his mind. The crew still hadn’t determined the cause of the leak that allowed atmosphere out and interstellar gases in. But Yuri had his suspicions. 

He wasn’t sure though. It was a suspicion based on a vague memory from almost a century prior. 

“I have to be wrong,” Yuri muttered to the empty corridor. “There has to be another explanation.”

Yuri stopped and took a deep breath. 

He needed to see the stars. He turned and strode toward the mess hall. He recalled seeing large windows with benches to sit on in the room. Soon he was curled up on a bench, staring out at the pinpricks of light, the quiet dimness of the nearly empty mess providing solace.

* * *

 

Victor answered the call at the desk in his quarters. “Yes?”

Sara’s face appeared on the screen. “I thought you might like an update on Yurio’s status before bed.”

Victor sat. “Go on.”

“He got a nasty lungful of whatever gas got into the shuttle. It caused some internal burning. I’m treating him for it, but I’ve ordered him off duty for the next two days, and light duty for the following week, with him to leave his shift if he feels ill.”

Vitor sighed. “He’ll recover though?”

Sara nodded. “He’ll be fine in a couple weeks. Be we need to be careful. If those gases get into the ship we’re going to see similar injuries. We need to figure out what happened so we can prevent it from happening again.”

“I agree. When do you think we can debrief him?”

“He should be able to talk better in the morning. More than a few sentences still bothers him right now.”

“Understood. Keep me informed.”

“Yes sir.”

The screen went dark. 

Victor leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. He ran through the mission in his mind, wondering what had gone wrong. The shuttle had passed all pre-flight checks, and so far the maintenance crews hadn’t been able to determine how the gases got in. They all knew there had to be either a hull breach or bad seal, but the flaw was so tiny that they hadn’t yet found it. 

“How did the gas get in without venting atmosphere at an equal rate?” Victor demanded of the empty room. 

Even worse, Victor knew he’d have to send Yurio, or another pilot, out again. They hadn’t even been able to collect a sample. 

“I wonder if Mila can grab one.”

Victor sighed, stood and strode to his bed. He flopped onto it, platinum bangs cascading over his eyes. He wiggled under the blankets and wrapped his arms around his pillow. 

Images of the crew coughing as they opened the shuttle, Yurio’s unconscious body rushed to the medical bay, haunted him. As captain it was his job to protect the crew, and he’d failed somehow. He had to know what happened. 

VIctor squeezed his eyes shut. He had to trust his team. They’d find the cause, devise a strategy to prevent recurrences. He wasn’t alone, he had the best crew in the forces. 

Victor forced the shuttle accident from his mind. He needed to sleep. 

Thoughts of Yuri immediately swarmed him, the gentle, soft features, the warm voice and eyes that beckoned to him. 

Victor groaned, tossing and turning, until he finally stood again. He needed to relax

Tea was clearly the answer. 

He pulled on some lounge pants and a loose shirt, then a robe over it all. He padded into the hall wearing slippers and headed toward the lift. Tea, and the relaxing view from the mess hall were exactly what he needed. 

Victor leaned against the wall of the lift as it descended and pinched the bridge of his nose. His shoulders were stiff, and neck sore for no reason. 

“Maybe I should take Chris’s advice, take leave when we reach the station.”

The door slid open to a nearly empty corridor. Victor nodded at one of his crewmen as he headed toward the mess. 

He always mused at how different the ship felt between the day and overnight shifts. Bustling corridors were nearly deserted, lights dimmed to conserve power. He knew the science labs several levels below would be some of the busiest places on the ship, those working there taking advantage of the quiet time to get better readings.

Victor used the door to the kitchens. A few people worked, cleaning and prepping during the down time. 

“Get you something captain?” one of the cooks asked. 

“Peppermint tea?”

The man nodded, grabbed a mug, tossed in a filter full of peppermint leaves and added hot water. He handed over the mug and Victor took a deep breath of the scented steam. “Thank you crewman.”

“You’re welcome sir.”

“Is the mess crowded.”

“Couple people eating last I looked, probably done by now though. One man was sitting in the windows, didn’t recognize him but you know how it is on the night shift.”

Victor raised the mug, and nodded. “Thanks again.”

He took a tentative sip as he stepped from the kitchen into the mess. He decided that it still needed to steep and cool. 

Victor paused and scanned the windows for where he wanted to sit. 

The breath caught in his throat when he saw Yuri sitting in his favorite spot, knees curled to his chest and wearing a pair of glasses that only seemed to make him more adorable.

The mug thunked as it hit the floor. 

Yuri turned, startled. Victor could see his eyes widen from across the room. 

Victor stared, speechless, torn between bolting and rushing to the man in front of him and declaring his undying love. 

“It’s you…” Yuri said. “I thought you were a dream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> They MET! Sorta, but you know I love cliffhangers :P
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuri meet, then hypotheses are given as explanation for Yurio's shuttle accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit more science-y in this chapter, but I'm hoping it's still easy enough to understand. 
> 
> Also, the first piece of fan art for this fic! I'm soooooo excited! Megsotaku drew the scene in the medical bay when Yuri asked if Victor was an angel! Click [here](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com/post/170128940675/megsotaku-tenshidesu-ka-by-clarinda-this) to see it.
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“I thought you were a dream.”

Victor stared, frozen on the spot. Finally he managed to huff out a laugh. “There you go flattering me again.”

“You mean we’ve met?” Confusion was painted across Yuri’s face. 

Victor softened and took a few steps closer. “Don’t you remember? We met in the medical bay. You woke up for a couple minutes right after the doctor revived you.”

Yuri’s eyes widened behind his glasses. “I… uh… what?”

Victor smiled. “You woke up for just a few minutes. You asked me if I was an angel, then you called me beautiful.”

A crimson flush spread across Yuri’s cheeks, dark enough that Victor could see it even in the low light. “I… I’m so sorry! I… I didn’t know!”

Victor laughed and took a couple steps toward the other man. “It’s ok. I’m flattered really. But you mean you really don’t remember?”

Yuri shook his head. “No. I literally thought you were a dream… I… I’ve uh…”

Victor smiled and closed the distance. He mentioned to the empty space on the bench. “Is this seat taken?”

Yuri shook his head. “No. Feel free… ummm…”

“Victor,” he said softly. “Captain Victor Nikiforov.”

“Have a seat Captain Niki…”

“Victor!” he interrupted. 

“What?”

“Please. Call me Victor.”

Yuri blinked several times. “Are you sure capt… Victor?”

Victor nodded. “Everybody here calls me captain, or sir. Except for Chris, and even then only in private. But you’re not a member of my crew. There’s no need for you to be formal.”

Yuri’s adorable blush managed to deepen. “Ok… Victor.”

Victor smiled, and held out his hand. “I apologize for not welcoming you earlier.”

Yuri returned the handshake. “It’s ok. You must be busy.”

“Still, it was rude of me.”

Yuri shook his head, bangs shaking with the force of his refusal. “No… I’m not that important. There’s no reason to put aside your work for me.”

Victor frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just… You’ve got your ship, and there’s a black hole right there. I’m just some random person you rescued. Um… Thank you for that by the way.”

Victor barely restrained the urge to reach out and grab Yuri’s hand. “I’d hardly call you a random person. You were on the first Earth vessel to come this far.”

Yuri shook his head, sighed and turned to look out the window. 

Victor’s frown deepened, and he couldn’t hold back. He reached over and draped one of his hands on top of Yuri’s. 

Yuri turned back, eyes wide. 

“I’m sorry,” Victor said softly. “I know it must hurt. I don’t want to dredge up memories before you’re ready.”

Yuri’s lips twitched up just the tiniest bit, and Victor realized he was running his thumb over Yuri’s knuckles. He blushed and pulled his hand back. “Sorry, that was a bit forward of me.”

Yuri did smile at that. “It’s ok. It just proved you’re real.”

“And not a dream?” Victor teased with a grin. 

Yuri’s smile widened, and Victor felt like he could drown in the beauty. “I’m glad to know you’re not.”

“Me too.” Victor made himself more comfortable on the bench. “So what brings you to the mess in the middle of the night? Couldn’t sleep?”

Yuri shook his head. “A bit, but… Not exactly. I was on night rotation. I prefer the quiet when everybody else has gone to bed. And… I needed to look at the stars.”

Victor turned to the window and smiled. “You picked the best spot on the ship for stargazing. I should know, that’s normally my seat.”

Yuri scrambled to move. “Oh.. I’m sorry…”

Victor reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s ok. You look good there, and you rightfully beat me to it tonight. I’m fine right here.”

Yuri stilled for a moment, then relaxed. “Thank you.”

Victor smiled, but it faltered when Yuri fell silent and turned to stare out at the stars. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Yuri turned back. “Haven’t heard that one in a while. Dunno where you would even find a penny outside of a collection these days.”

Victor smiled again. “I like to surprise people. But please, what’s on your mind? Can I help?”

Yuri turned back to the window. “I was just thinking about the shuttle accident.”

Victor blinked. “You were in the med bay when Yurio was brought in, weren’t you?”

Yuri nodded. 

“The doctor says he’ll be fine. He just needs time to recover.”

“Did they determine the cause yet?”

“Not yet. I’ve ordered a full stop until we can though.”

“Which way was he headed? Into the debris field, or out of it?”

“In…” Victor answered, confused.

“Have your team look for a micro-hole. Handful of microns across, a big one would be the size of a grain of dust.”

“Any idea where?”

“I’d start on the front port side if he was facing the black hole. It has a counterclockwise rotation.”

“You think a hole that size would have caused what happened?”

Yuri nodded. 

“I’ll have the teams look. But can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

“I’d like to be sure.”

“Ok, but if we find a hole will you let us in on it?”

Yuri nodded. 

Victor stood. “I’ll go let the teams know.”

Victor moved a few steps away, then Yuri’s voice stopped him again. “Victor?”

Victor turned. “Yes?”

“Are the deflector shields up?”

Victor blinked. “Only at minimal levels.”

Yuri sighed. “This might sound strange, but until you determine what happened I would suggest increasing them to what you would use at about three-quarters light speed.”

“Why so strong?”

“Please…” Yuri said. “It’s just a hunch, maybe your technology is better, but…”

Yuri chewed on his bottom lip. 

Victor nodded. “I’ll give the order.”

Yuri smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

Victor took a few steps toward the door again, then turned back. “If your theory is right, we’ll know in a few hours. The meeting for senior staff is at fourteen-hundred tomorrow. I’d like you to be there to discuss whatever’s on your mind, whether it’s proven out or not. Ok?”

Yuri bit his lip, then nodded nervously. 

Victor walked back over and rested his hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “Please Yuri. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Your experience here is invaluable.”

Yuri nodded. “Thank you.”

Victor smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Yuri smiled at him. “Tomorrow then.”

Victor strode toward the door, then saw the mug of tea he’d dropped. He stepped into the kitchen. “Crewman?” he asked of a young man scouring the stove. 

“Sir.”

“I apologize. I dropped my tea. Unfortunately I need to head to the shuttle bay.”

“I’ll clean it sir.”

“Thank you.”

Victor strode out of the kitchen and headed toward the lift. “Deck eight,” he ordered as he stepped in. 

The shuttle bay was abuzz with activity as crews continued to inspect the shuttle despite the late hour. 

“Anything?” Victor asked, approaching a tired-looking Mickey. 

Mickey turned and wiped a greasy sleeve over his brow. “We started checking the seals. There are no other hull breaches big enough to explain how so much gas got in so quickly.”

“No other?”

Mickey nodded. “We found a tiny hole…”

“Port side, front?” Victor interrupted.

Mickey nodded. “Yes sir. How did you know?”

Victor shook his head. “I didn’t, but Yuri did.”

“Yuri…” Mickey was silent. “The man rescued from the Michell?”

Victor nodded. “How big was the hole?”

“About thirty microns.”

“You can stop checking the seals. That hole is the culprit.”

“There’s no way sir.”

“We’ll find out tomorrow. I’ve asked him to brief us about this.”

Mickey nodded. “I’ll be glad for some sleep at least.”

Victor clapped his chief engineer on the shoulder. “Get some rest. I’ll see you for the staff meeting.”

“Aye sir.”

Victor headed for the door, then turned back. “Mickey. Assuming that something at speed punched through the hull of the shuttle, with the deflectors Yurio was running. How fast would it have had to be going?”

Mickey blinked several times. “I’m not sure, but I’d guess about two-thirds the speed of light. He was running deflectors for half because of the wide range of object sizes out there.”

Victor nodded. “Thank you.”

Victor headed for the lift again as he left the bay. “Bridge,” he commanded. 

Victor yawned as the lift rose. He felt that after he had Georgi increase the deflector strength he’d finally be able to sleep. 

* * *

 

Yuri watched Victor head into the kitchen. A moment later somebody came out and started to clean up what appeared to be a spilled mug of tea. Yuri blinked several times, then stood and walked over. 

“Do you need a hand with that?”

The man looked up, shook his head then returned to his task. “I’ve got it, but thank you for offering.”

Yuri made a noise of assent, looked back to the windows and sighed. He strode back out of the mess toward his quarters. He was glad for the emptiness of the corridors as he walked, tears threatening to spill the closer he got. 

By the time Yuri leaned against the wall of his room in relief his breath was hitching. He allowed the tears to fall down his cheeks. He sunk to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. 

“Phichit…” Yuri clenched his fists. “I’m so sorry Phichit.”

.Yuri wiped his tears, stood and walked over to his bed. He curled up on it, clutching a pillow to his chest. 

“He wasn’t supposed to be real…” Yuri hiccupped. 

Yuri thought back to the dreams he’d had over several nights; dreams of a silver-haired man with a soft smile. He’d thought it was a coping mechanism, his mind creating somebody for him to cling to in his grief. 

There was nothing wrong with being in love with a figment of one’s imagination. It was a different matter when the person proved to be real, and even better than the one in his dreams. 

Yuri’s mind wandered back to Phichit, fresh tears falling. “I’m so sorry Phichit. All those years you wanted me to fall in love with you, and I fall in love with somebody else as soon as you’re gone.” 

* * *

 

“How are you feeling ensign?” Victor asked as he passed Yurio along the side of the conference table. 

Yurio nodded. “Like shit,” he croaked. “But the doctor says I’ll be fine in a few days.”

Victor placed his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “I’ll try not to make you talk too much. But I did want you here since we’re going to discuss the accident. Then you can go back to recovering.”

Yurio nodded again. “Thank you sir.”

Victor moved to take his seat. “Save your voice Yurio.”

“Da.”

Victor watched the rest of his senior staff file into the room. For a moment he worried that Yuri wouldn’t come, but he accompanied the doctor as the last two to arrive.

Victor looked around the table, then called up the data that Mickey had given him on the screen. 

“As you all know, Yurio was several minutes into his mission to collect a sample from the debris field for analysis. Then with no apparent explanation the cabin of the shuttle filled with an unknown gas. Ensign Plisetsky reported the problem, turned the shuttle around and headed back toward the ship. He lost consciousness during the return, and was rushed to medical, where the doctor was able to revive him. Did I miss anything so far?”

Heads shook around the table, and Victor continued. “Upon inspection of the shuttle Mickey and his team found a micro-hole, approximately thirty microns across.”

“Impossible!” Yurio croaked. “There’s no way that much gas could have gotten in so quickly from a hole that size!”

“Yura…” Otabek said, laying a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Let the captain finish.”

“I…” Yuri said softly. “I may have an explanation.”

All the heads swiveled to look at Yuri. 

“For those of you who haven’t met him, this is Yuri Katsuki, the man rescued from the escape pod,” Victor said, then nodded. “Go on.”

Yuri stared at his fingers for a couple seconds, twiddling his thumbs before speaking. “This isn’t the first time this has happened. We… on the Michell I mean, had several compartments fill with gas in a similar manner before we learned that we had to keep deflector strength high in proximity to the black hole.”

“Did you find a cause?” Mickey asked. “I find it hard to believe that a shuttle cabin can fill with gas in a matter of seconds from a hole smaller than a speck of dust.”

“Not… exactly…” Yuri started, then seemed to catch himself. “But we had a strong hypothesis.”

“Go on,” Victor urged, leaning forward on his elbows. 

Yuri bit his bottom lip, then started again. “Have you ever heard of a Prince Rubert’s Drop?”

Sara and Emil nodded. Victor could see that Chris and Mickey were in a similar position to him, the name ringing a bell but not something he could immediately recall. Everybody else shook their heads. 

Yuri nodded at the reactions and continued. “A Prince Rupert’s Drop is a fascinating thing, just rapidly cooled glass really. Glass is melted above a container of cold water until a drop forms. It falls into the water, which sets the surface instantly while the inside is still cooling. The outside has compressive qualities, while the inside has high tension. These different forces on the outside and inside make it incredibly strong. You can bang on the head with a hammer, or try to crush it, and it doesn’t break. But if you snap the delicate tail the whole thing explodes.”

“What does that have to do with the gas?” Yurio demanded, voice rough. 

“We hypothesized that the reason we’d only find particle size holes in the hull, but end up with compartments full of gas was due to a similar, albeit different, process.”

Victor saw Emil’s eyes widen with understanding, and even Sara seemed to understand where Yuri was headed. 

“The debris field is filled with a gas, the same one as kept getting into our compartments,” Yuri said. “But it kept happening even once we were inside the perimeter and past the gas. We realized that it was coming through the holes, and likely the  _ cause _ of the holes.”

“I don’t get it,” Mila said. “How can gas punch holes in a ship’s hull?”

Yuri wrung his hands and chewed his bottom lip for a moment before continuing. “The gas is coming from somewhere, maybe the field itself, possibly a nebula on the other side. But as it gets into the gravity well it’s subjected to greater and greater amounts of gravity. The black hole compresses the gas at the same time that the stresses overheat it. We theorized that crystalline lattices would have to form as the molecules organized themselves to minimize space under those conditions. The black hole forced the gases into a solid state. But it continued to be compressed until what would be decent volumes of gas occupy an almost impossibly small space. Occasionally it comes in at just the right angle to be supercompressed, but somehow gets flung back out into the ambient temperature of space. The surface would cool instantly, locking in the microscopic lattice. Unlike the Rupert’s Drop, however, these would be highly unstable. The internal forces would be fighting against those compressive forces, rather than strengthening them. Without the high gravity to force the microscopic size we estimated the particles lasted only a short time.

“The particles would need to be flung out at escape velocities, probably several times the speed of light at first. By the time they reach the debris field they were around three-quarters the speed of light. They would punch right through our deflectors and hull. But like the Rupert’s Drop, once their lattice was properly disturbed they’d explode… in a manner of speaking. The heat of the ships was enough to cause the lattice to fail, and all that gas would be released at once, just like snipping the tail off the glass.”

Emil was beaming and bouncing in his seat in his excitement. 

“Lieutenant?” Victor asked, turning to him. 

“It’s genius!” Emil beamed. “And I think it’s entirely plausible.” 

“There’s more,” Yuri said. He waited until all eyes were on him again before continuing. “We didn’t have shuttles to leave the ship. Decompression and recompression are energy intensive processes, and we couldn’t waste the power. But we had specimen collection devices built into the ship. We used these to collect a couple of the smaller rocks in the debris field, but as soon as they warmed they instantly turned to gas.”

“So the larger ones are stable?” Emil asked. “At least for longer.”

Yuri turned and nodded. “Compressed enough to be a solid, and kept that way in the cold. But only in space ambient temperatures. We think the gas of the field is from the eventual breakdown of the lattice, and from the microscopic ones decaying at about this distance and reverting.”

“So… these rocks are… gas?” Mila asked. 

Yuri nodded again. “If you have a way to heat them you’ll see that it doesn’t take much for them to revert.”

“Mila,” Victor said. “We have a thermal-only setting on our weapons array, don’t we?”

“Yes sir, for simulations and exercises.”

“Good. Pick a few targets and let’s put this to the test.”

Victor noticed a contemplative look on Mickey’s face. “Lieutenant?” he asked. 

Mickey looked up. “I was wondering why we couldn’t detect the field, but I realized that we just never detected the rocks in the field. We always knew there was gas around the black hole.”

Yuri nodded. “Even we expected the gas.”

Mickey nodded in return. “But if the rocks and the gas are essentially the same thing… Well… our sensors just thought that the rocks were denser pockets of gas.”

“Technically they weren’t mistaken,” Emil pointed out. 

Mickey sighed. “It’s still a mistake, one that I…”

“It’s in the past,” Victor interrupted. “Emil’s right. Solids formed from a gas can appear to be denser pockets of the same gas. It’s not your fault. It was merely unexpected. I’m sure headquarters will love the findings from this though, and will probably design future sensor arrays to detect these differences.”

“Aye sir,” Mickey said. 

“Otabek. Any signs of life on these rocks?”

“None sir.”

“Good. Then nobody will care if we test them.” He turned. “Mila, in your selection pick out varying sizes. We want to see how long they take to revert, the temperatures, etc.” He turned again. “Emil, get your people working on composition. I know the doctor is already working on it, but we’ll want to know what kinds of variances there are between the one that hit the shuttle, and those in the field.”

“Aye.”

Yurio banged his hand on the table. All eyes turned to him. 

“Yura…” Otabek said. 

“No,” Yurio protested. He leveled an accusing finger at Yuri. “Were you ever going to tell us about this, or did we have to find out the hard way? I might not have nearly died if you’d have shared all these little details and theories earlier.”

“You’re out of line ensign.” Victor said, voice dark in anger.

Yurio turned. “It’s the truth though! He knew about the debris field, he said himself that this had happened before. So why didn’t he say anything?”

Victor could hear the scratchiness in Yurio’s voice, and could sense that the outburst was quite painful. 

“I… I…” Yuri mumbled, pale. 

“That’s enough Yurio,” Victor ordered. “I told you to save your voice, and I mean it. As to why Yuri didn’t say anything, there could be any number of reasons, the  _ least _ of which is that ninety years is a long time in terms of technical development. As far as he knew ship designs had advanced to the point where it might not have been an issue at all.  You can’t blame him.”

Yurio snarled, but settled back into his chair. 

Victor turned to Yuri. “As to those developments. Assume we are on the same level. We don’t need everything at once, and I’m sure once Mickey gets into your data storage we’ll learn soon enough. But if you remember something that we should plan for, a precaution we should take, let us know. It’s easier to say that the technology can handle it than to react to an unexpected emergency. Ok?”

Yuri stared for a moment, then nodded. 

Victor looked around the table. “Anything else to report while we’re here?”

Heads shook in response. 

“Good,” Victor replied, standing. “Dismissed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Hopefully all the science-y stuff made sense. Also, you should totally go watch videos of Prince Rubert's Drops, cause exploding glass is cool. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this episode of Written in The Stars, Katsudon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Katsudon is kinda a theme this chapter, LOL. 
> 
> Anyway... thanks again for all the love on this story. I appreciate all the comments and excitement. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

People around the table stood, and Yuri followed their lead. He was surrounded immediately. 

“Emil Nekola,” said the man who’d been so excited about the theories on compressed gas. He grabbed Yuri’s hand. “Chief Science Officer.”

“Um… hi. Katsuki Yuri,” Yuri replied. 

Emil beamed. “You should come down to the astrophysics lab. There are people there who would love to meet you, not to mention data that you might be able to help us decipher faster.”

Yuri blushed. “I’m sure your team can handle it.”

Emil laughed. “Yes, eventually, but more eyes never hurt. Besides, you’ve already been studying this thing. You might be able to answer the questions we have. Also, there’s no reason to keep you away from the discoveries just because you took a break.”

Yuri bit his lip. “I’ll consider it.”

“Do! But even if you would rather rest, come down and say hi.”

Yuri nodded. “I think I can do that.”

“Great! Deck fifteen, starboard side. Section twelve. Follow the smell of overworked brains.” Emil waved as he headed out. 

Yuri saw Mila, Yurio, and Otabek leave together before another man approached. 

“Lieutenant Michele Crispino, but everybody calls me Mickey. Chief Engineer.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mickey,” Yuri said with a slight bow. “Katsuki Yuri”

“We’re trying to get to the data from your ship. I’m currently waiting on an adaptor design from Earth, but when it arrives I’d appreciate any help you could give in sifting through it so we can get the most important stuff first.”

Yuri nodded. “I… think I can handle it.”

Mickey smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t push more than you’re comfortable with.”

“What’s this?” Chris teased, sliding up. “Mickey being nice to another man? Does the warning come later now?”

Yuri blinked. “Warning?”

Chris smiled. “The one to stay away from Sara.”

“But she’s my doctor… how am I supposed to stay away?”

Chris laughed, and Mickey scowled. 

“Mickey here is overprotective of Sara. They’re twins you know. He thinks its his mission in life to be her guardian, whether she wants it or not. Any man he encounters usually gets a warning almost immediately that she’s off limits.”

“Oh…” Yuri replied, blinking. 

Sara leaned over with a laugh. “He warned me he might come by the med bay for just such a warning. I reminded him of the unique rules of Yuri’s ship. After a bit of an argument he got the point.”

Mickey scowled from where he stood. 

“Don’t worry…” Yuri said softly. “She’s… not my type.”

Sara roared with laughter and draped her arms over Yuri’s shoulders. “So polite!” She grinned. “See Mickey, nothing to worry about.”

Mickey grumbled and left the room. 

“I have to get back to medical,” Sara said. “I’ve got several tissue samples I’m studying. Not every day we can determine the biological effects of proximity to a wormhole. I’ll see you later Yuri.”

Yuri nodded and watched as Sara left the room. 

“I think I’m needed on the bridge,” Chris declared with a wink before heading from a different door. 

Then it was just Yuri and Victor in the room, and Yuri couldn’t tear his eyes from the other man. 

Victor took several steps closer, and he was even more radiant in the brighter lighting of the day shift. 

“Thank you,” Victor blurted. “For... sharing your theories I mean.”

Yuri smiled, and felt a warm blush across his cheeks. “You… you’re welcome.”

“I meant what I said,” Victor said, closing the distance until he was close enough Yuri could have reached out for his hand. “Never feel afraid to share your thoughts or experiences.”

Yuri’s blush spread. “I’m sure your crew would have figured it out soon enough.”

Victor smiled, soft and sweet and for a moment Yuri felt that the expression was for his eyes only. 

“I need to get back to work,” Victor said after a couple seconds of silence. “But I’d like for us to get to know each other better.”

Yuri bit his bottom lip, but knew the deepening blush on his face would give away his emotions. “I… I’d like that too.”

“Mess? Around ten? We can watch the stars.”

Yuri smiled softly then nodded. 

“It’s a date,” Victor said with a wink.

* * *

 

Yuri wandered the corridors aimlessly. His mind kept drifting to Victor, with his eyes the color of the sea and his hair that of the moon.

Everything was so easy around the other man. It was easy to forget that he was almost a century older. It was easy to set aside the grief. It was easy to let his dead husband and shipmates rest. It was easy to fall in love. 

It was too easy, and as soon as he was alone the guilt came back. Memories haunted him: Phichit’s final kiss at the pod. The data slowly fading out as the ship failed around his husband and crewmates. 

He’d considered returning to his room, but he’d never been good just sitting and allowing his emotions to sort themselves out. He needed to move. 

Yuri walked to the nearest lift. “Deck ten,” he said once the doors closed. The dance studio seemed the best place to relax and get away from his turbulent thoughts. 

He looked around as he stepped off the lift, finding his bearings before heading in the direction he was pretty sure the studio was in. But he only managed a few steps before he heard his name. 

“Katsuki-san!”

Yuri turned and saw the young man with a red streak in his hair jogging along the corridor toward him. 

“Um… Hello… um…”

“Ensign Minami Kenjirou,” the young man replied with a polite bow. 

Yuri returned the gesture. “A pleasure Minami-san.”

“I’ve always been inspired by you!” Minami blurted out. “It’s because of you that I went into astrophysics!”

Yuri smiled. “I’m not that special.”

Minami’s eyes grew wide. “They still teach the theories you proposed in your doctoral thesis, and the resulting equations. You won a Nobel!”

“I…  _ what _ ?”

Minami bounced on the balls of his feet. “You mean you didn’t know? Nobody told you?”

Yuri shook his head. 

Minami beamed. “Oh the timing is perfect. Have you eaten?”

Yuri blinked, but a rumble from his stomach answered for him. 

Minami started bouncing again. “Come on. I talked the chef into adding something special to the menu today. I know you’ll love it.”

Yuri’s stomach growled again, and he followed Minami to the mess hall. The smells of food filled the room. Something seemed familiar about one, but he couldn’t quite tease it out. 

“Have a seat. I’ll get our food,” Minami said. 

Yuri looked around until he found an empty table in the crowded room. He walked over and took a seat. 

Minami wore a huge smile as he carried a tray laden with food over. Yuri stood to help, but the younger man quickly waved him off, setting a couple large bowls on the table.

Then Yuri got a look at what had been placed in front of him. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. 

“How did you know?” Yuri hiccupped as he stared at the steaming portion of katsudon.

Minami laughed. “Like I said, I’ve always been inspired by you. I learned everything I could. I’ve even been to your family’s onsen several times. Your great-nephew still serves the family recipe. It’s still listed as your favorite. Your family remains proud of you to this day.” 

Tears really did start falling from Yuri’s eyes. “I have a great-nephew?”

Minami nodded. “He inherited the onsen from your nephew about twenty years ago.”

“I didn’t even know I had a nephew. Mari was still single when I left.”

Minami made a noise, and Yuri looked up at the other man. 

“Minami-san?”

“I… had a chance to talk to your nephew once. About you… what you meant to the family that is. He said that your loss is what spurred your sister to find someone and have a family.”

Minami paused. “He said that the family never gave up hope. They wanted you to have a home to return to.”

Yuri wiped tears with his sleeve and picked up his chopsticks. He grabbed a piece of pork and took a bite, moaning softly as the flavor hit his tongue. 

“I missed this…” Yuri said. “Even if it’s not mom’s recipe.”

“The air filters on the Michell weren’t rated for deep frying, right?” Minami asked. 

Yuri nodded. “Everybody made the best of it. But the baked options never tasted right.”

“This is good?”

Yuri nodded again. 

“I’m glad. It’s my family’s recipe.”

“I thought you said the chef made it.”

“He did, but I gave him the recipe.” Minami paused, took a bite, then nodded. “He did pretty good.”

Yuri smiled and took several more bites, sighing happily after each one. 

“So what else don’t I know about myself?” Yuri asked. “In the past half hour I’ve learned of accomplishments and family that I never knew existed.”

“Well there’s the statue…”

Yuri promptly choked on air. 

“Just kidding!” Minami squeaked. 

Yuri glared. 

Minami waved his hands in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. I promise there’s no statue.”

Yuri breathed a sigh of relief. 

“There was discussion about one though, about ten years ago. I think they ended up naming a new building after you though, a science building at a university.”

Yuri groaned. “That’s bad enough.”

Yuri jumped as a tray of food was slammed down at the empty space next to him, a blond plopping into the chair. Green eyes trained on him,glaring. 

There was a sigh on Yuri’s other side. He turned to see Otabek standing politely beside the empty chair. “May we join you? All the other tables are full.”

Yuri nodded and Minami moved a couple things around to make room. Otabek set his tray on the table and took a seat. 

Yuri turned back to his food, forcing himself to ignore the glare of the blond man beside him. 

However the task proved difficult. He’d only managed a few bites when a grating voice caught his attention. “What is that you’re eating?”

Yuri looked up. “It’s katsudon. It’s my favorite food.”

“Isn’t that your name?”

“His name’s Katsuki!” Minami blared. 

“Katsudon, Katsuki… sound the same to me.” Yurio declared. “Let me try a bite.”

Yuri sighed and held out his bowl. Yurio stabbed a bit with his fork and stuck it in his mouth. 

“Oh my god…” Yurio declared. “Change of plans Beka! Get us some of this instead!”

Otabek leaned out so he could look at Yurio’s legs. “Your legs don’t look broken to me.”

“I’m supposed to be resting, remember?”

“Have you been assigned bedrest? If so you’re against doctor’s orders right now.

“Fine,” Yurio grumbled. “I’ll get it myself.”

Yurio stood and stormed off. Otabek watched for a few seconds, then leaned in, his voice lowered. “Sorry about Yura’s outburst during the meeting. He gets cranky when he’s not feeling well.”

“You mean he has a setting  _ other _ than cranky?” Minami asked. 

Otabek rolled his eyes. “He’s actually quite nice.”

“Could have fooled me,” Minami replied.

“You just don’t interact with him enough.”

“I’ll take your word on that.”

Otabek smiled. 

A chime sounded, barely audible above the din of the room. 

“Oh my, is that the time?” Minami asked. “I need to get back to astrophysics. My break is nearly over.” He quickly ate the remainder of the food in his bowl, then stood. 

Minami bowed slightly. “It’s been an honor to meet you Katsuki-san.”

Yuri smiled and returned the gesture. “Likewise Minami-san.”

Minami took a long drink of water then jogged from the room. 

Otabek looked up, then back to Yuri. “If Yura gives you any problems let me know, but if he’s still angry it’ll pass in a day or so.”

“How do you know?” Yuri sighed. “He’s right. If I’d have said something sooner…”

“I talked to him. He’s just angry. He’s blaming you because it’s the easiest, but deep down he knows it’s not your fault.”

Yuri set his chopsticks down and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know…”

Otabek’s eyes flicked to the food line again, and Yuri realized that Yurio was almost at the front. “To be honest, he’s probably already forgiven you. He’s just too proud to say so.”

“What makes you say that?” Yuri sighed. 

“You let him try your food.”

“Huh?” Yuri’s eyes flicked to Otabek. 

“Yura’s like a stray kitten. He may bite and claw, but feed him once and you’ve got a loyal friend for life.”

Yuri blinked, then started laughing. “Surely it can’t be that easy.”

“It is though,” Otabek replied, taking a bite of his own food. “He’s led a… difficult… life. His parents are both highly respected captains. He lived with his grandfather, who is an admiral on Earth. The man doted on him, but his upbringing was rigid. The fact that he was a gifted pilot didn’t help matters. He once said that he never fit in until he reached the space academy. But I think that by then he was so used to being shut out that he preferred to be antagonistic, it was safer than opening up. He doesn’t show his appreciation for niceties often, but he remembers them. Something as simple as letting him try a bite of your food means a great deal to him, because it’s something he never received from his peers as a child.”

Otabek glanced up again. “Look sharp, he’s coming back.”

The bowl of katsudon hit the table with a thunk. 

“You didn’t get me any?” Otabek teased. 

“Your legs work,” Yurio jabbed. 

Otabek gave Yurio a deadpan stare which quickly left the younger man grinning, and Yuri realized that they had their own way of communicating. 

Yuri shifted to face Yurio and bowed politely. “I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. I’m Katsuki Yuri.”

“I know who you are,” Yurio grumbled. 

“Yura,” Otabek warned. 

Yurio sighed dramatically. “Fine. Yuri Plisetsky.”

“Everybody calls you Yurio, right?”

Yurio grumbled and narrowed his eyes at Otabek, who held his hands up in ‘not me’ way. 

Yuri smiled. “It was the doctor. She told me who you are when you were brought in.”

Yurio huffed. “Figures.”

“Is it ok if I call you Yurio?”

Yurio blinked a couple times, then nodded slowly. “Everybody else does, except Beka. Thanks for asking though Katsudon.”

“Katsuki.”

“That’s what I said,” Yurio replied with  grin. “Katsudon.”

Yuri smiled as he realized that he’d been accepted enough to have received a nickname. 

* * *

 

VIctor pinched the bridge of his nose as he reviewed the incident report a third time. He hated the things, the accidents that led to them, and the occasional inquiries that resulted. He knew there wouldn’t be an inquiry from Yurio’s shuttle accident, but it was a blemish on the mission regardless. 

Everything was good, except for the last line. He sighed. Chris had filled out the conclusions by saying that the incident was part of the unknown element of the mission and was unavoidable. 

Victor knew better. If he’d pushed Yuri to detail the dangers of the area around the black hole they would have taken measures to prevent such occurrences. 

Ultimately responsibility for all incidents fell to him as captain, and as much as he wanted to believe that things had been beyond their control, it was a glaring error of omission. 

“Captain’s addendum,” Victor said to the computer. “The captain disagrees with the first officer in that the incident was completely unavoidable given the circumstances. It is the captain’s opinion that his own negligence was to blame.”

Victor stood and started pacing behind his desk. “When we brought aboard the survivor, Yuri Katsuki, it was evident that he was facing a great deal of emotional trauma and survivor guilt. I’ve given him time to heal, but that time could have also prevented this accident. Had I ordered a debriefing we may have learned about these micro-particles prior to sending out Ensign Plisetsky. 

“While I stand by my decision to allow Mr. Katsuki time to recover, it is an unavoidable fact that, by virtue of his experience, he has information that is pertinent to the mission. Therefore, as the captain I am left with no option but to disagree with my first officer as to the cause of this incident.”

Victor sat back down, re-read the report a fourth time, and sighed as he ordered it transmitted to Earth. 

He’d no sooner than leaned back in his chair when the office door chimed.

“Come in.”

Chris walked in carrying a tray of food. “The bridge crew says you’ve been cooped up in here since the meeting, didn’t have lunch prior, and nobody saw a steward with food either.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Come on, try it. Chef’s cooked up something special. Apparently it’s Yuri’s favorite food.”

“Yuri?” Victor asked, looking up. 

Chris grinned. “I thought that would get your attention.” He set the tray down on Victors desk. “Apparently it was a special request by Ensign Minami. He walked chef through the recipe himself, and told him what a treat it would be for the other man. People have been raving about it in the mess all afternoon.”

Victor lifted the lid to see a steaming bowl of rice with a piece of meat, some vegetables and what appeared to be egg on top. The scent immediately made his stomach growl. 

“What is it?” he asked as he picked up the accompanying pair of chopsticks. 

“It’s called katsudon. Deep fried pork cutlet, onion, egg, peas and sauce over rice. It’s definitely… indulgent.”

VIctor took a bite and groaned as the flavors mingled and danced on his tongue. “Oh my god.” He took another several bites. “This is amazing!”

Chris moved over and sat on the couch. “I thought you’d like it. Chef’s had enough people raving he’s already planning to work it into the menu rotation.”

“And this is Yuri’s favorite food?”

“According to Ensign Minami.”

“Well if it’s true, I can see why.”

Chris smiled as Victor took several more bites. 

“So how hard were you on yourself this time?” Chris asked. “Otabek reported that you’d transmitted the incident report.”

Victor froze, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. He put the food back in the bowl and laid the chopsticks on top. 

“You don’t have to protect me Chris.”

“Who was protecting you? From my point of view it was unexpected and unavoidable.”

“But we both know that’s not true. Yuri obviously had encountered this problem, and had I asked for a debriefing we’d have learned that.”

“And if we’d never found him? Then we’d be right back to unavoidable. He’s not a member of this crew. He’s a civilian, and you can’t just order him to share what he knows. He seems willing, on his own terms and as he recovers. But until he’s ready, things like this are going to happen, and it’s unavoidable.”

“Is it?”

“It is.” Chris sighed and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Your crew is strong Victor. We’ve gotten through our fair share of scrapes, heck it comes with the job description. Our mission was to come out here and learn about this thing. We’re learning, it might be the hard way a couple times, but we’re doing what we’re ordered.”

Victor took a deep breath and released a sigh of his own. “Fine, but I stand by my conclusion that had I made moves to get information from Yuri it could have been prevented.” He took several more bites of food. 

“And I stand by mine. Luckily, the brass get to have the final say.”

Victor smiled. “We’ll just hope they agree with you.”

Chris grinned. “They normally do. You’re a great captain because you’re hard on yourself, but it’s also a flaw.”

“Some consider that an asset.”

Chris laughed. “I won’t argue there. And I suspect nobody else on this ship would either.”

Victor took a few more bites. “This really is quite good.”

“I thought so too.”

“Check with Chef, make sure that he revises his order for resupply if he’ll need more of anything to include this in the meal rotation.”

Chris smiled. “I’ll see to it.” He stood and walked to the door. “Mila’s got the bridge right now. Swing shift will be coming on shortly. Don’t let the time get too late on you again.”

Victor smiled. “I won’t. I have plans to get to know Yuri better this evening.”

Chris laughed. “I guess stranding you two together in the conference room worked. Enjoy your evening captain!”

Victor’s smile widened as he thought of Yuri, and just the opportunity to spend some quiet time with him. “Thanks Chris. I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Like I said... katsudon, lol. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri continues to struggle with his emotion as he settles in on the Galilei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the love on this fic. It means so much. 
> 
> Just a bit of a milder chapter here. It explores the emotions more, but is important for figuring out how Yuri's coping. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Deck fifteen,” Yuri said as he stepped into the lift. He closed his eyes as it started to descend. 

As much as the memories haunted him, he had to know. It was what made him a scientist. There was something to be learned about the black hole that had killed his husband and crewmates. He had to know its secrets. 

He owed it to the dead. 

“Phichit…” he said softly. “I’ll get the answers. This won’t happen to anybody else. Our mission won’t be in vain.”

The door opened to the quietest deck Yuri had encountered on the bustling ship. People spoke in hushed tones, and even the lights seemed to be dimmer than elsewhere. 

Yuri smiled, it felt strangely like home. He headed off to his right, and followed the numbers until he reached section twelve. 

He found the astrophysics lab easily, and was about to enter when he remembered how sensitive the equipment on the Michell had been. He found a nearby computer panel and pressed a button on it. 

“Computer, are observations being made in the astrophysics lab?”

“Observation experiments are in progress,” came the response. 

“Is it safe to enter?”

“Proceed through the antechamber. Ensure all external lighting is blocked before entering laboratory.”

“Understood. Where is the antechamber door?”

“Follow the indicators to the antechamber.”

A series of lights led away from the panel and around the corner. Yuri followed them to a door set into a dim alcove. He pressed a button on a panel next to the door. 

“Inner antechamber door sealing,” the computer stated. A few seconds later the doors slid open. “Proceed.”

Yuri stepped through, turned and pressed a panel on the inside of the door. It closed immediately, casting him into darkness. He gave his eyes a chance to adjust, and soon noticed a soft red glow. He quickly identified it as the door control to the lab. He blinked several times, making sure that he was comfortable before entering. It wasn’t his lab, he wouldn’t be able to navigate it by memory. 

The inner door slid open, revealing people bustling around sensitive equipment. A dim red glow throughout the room was the only illumination. Yuri stepped in, allowing the antechamber door to close behind him. He picked a spot nearby that seemed out of the way and moved so that his eyes could continue adjusting. 

“Seems you’re really a scientist after all,” a jovial yet quiet voice said nearby. 

Yuri turned, and could just make out Emil’s features in the dim light. “Pardon?”

Emil laughed quietly. “Most people don’t think to use the antechamber the first time they visit. The main door is locked, but an alarm sounds if somebody tries to open it. Since it didn’t sound, it means you knew the precautions without having to be told.”

Yuri smiled. “We had to take similar steps. Sometimes the lab would be in near darkness for days.”

Emil nodded. “This is our first real workout in months, and everybody’s glad for a chance to put this equipment to use. Have a look around. I’ll introduce you after the current observation cycle ends in an hour or so.”

“Recalibration?” Yuri guessed.

Emil laughed again. “We’re starting to let the data guide us, and yeah, we’re about to get all we can at current settings.”

Yuri nodded. “We spent so much time recalibrating.”

“I expect we’ll do the same.”

Yuri spied the large windows, open to the starlight. He motioned to them. “May I?”

Emil smiled. “Stay to the left. The light collectors are working overtime trying to map the curvature.”

“Internal?”

“And external. The internal is more responsive, so we use it for quick changes of scope.”

“How are you monitoring the gravity fluctuations?”

“We’re working with Mickey to create an ionized particle that we can release. It’ll be easier to fine tune the sensors to look for the same thing.” 

“We thought of that too, but had nothing to release,” Yuri replied with a sigh. “We ended up tracking the movement of the gas. It’s pretty omnipresent, even if the density is low enough you can’t see it with the naked eye past the debris field.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

A soft chime sounded and Emil clapped Yuri on the back. “Some data I was waiting on just came in. Feel free to look around.” He then strode off toward another section of the large room.

Yuri walked over to the massive window, curving from the ceiling and into the floor, creating an imposing arc. He took a step onto the translucent panel, keeping clear of the light collector that was aimed to the other side. He looked, and could just make out the place where he knew the black hole was. They were still far enough away that it appeared just a slightly larger empty region of space. 

But Yuri knew it was there. A part of him wanted to pound at the panel, to scream at the void, to swear vengeance for everything and everybody that it had taken from him. His fingernails dug into his palm. 

He thought of those last moments with Phichit, of watching the numbers slowly fade...

“Katsuki-san?” a soft voice inquired. 

Yuri jumped and turned to see Minami standing behind him. 

“Minami-san…”

“You’re bleeding.” He motioned at Yuri’s hand. 

Yuri blinked several times, then noticed the pain in his hand. He eased his fist, and saw the red arcs from his fingernails. 

Minami held out his hand, and Yuri allowed the other man to inspect the wounds. 

“The doctor will want to take a look, just to make sure. But they don’t look serious,” Minami whispered. “Stay here. There’s a first aid kit in that station over there. I’ll get you patched up.”

Yuri bit his lip, then nodded. A moment later Minami was wrapping gauze around Yuri’s hands. 

“Sorry it’s so low-tech,” Minami whispered. “The dermal stimulators emit too much blue light.”

Yuri shook his head. “It’s ok.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

Yuri chewed his lip again, looked out the window then back to the other man. “I just… got angry.”

Minami looked up at Yuri’s face. “Angry? Why?”

Yuri looked at the window again. He shook his head. “It was a mistake to come here. I should go.”

Minami nodded. “Um… ok.” He paused, but spoke up again as Yuri started walking toward the exit.. “The light in the antechamber comes up slowly when exiting so that you’re not blinded.”

“Thank you.” 

“I’ll let lieutenant Nekola know you left.”

Yuri nodded and headed toward the exit. 

* * *

 

Victor sat in the window, staring out at the stars. The mess lighting was dimmed, the kitchen mostly closed for cleaning and prep. 

“Computer, time?” he asked. 

“Twenty-two fifteen.”

Victor sighed, and leaned his head back against the support brace. “I guess… he’s not coming.”

Victor shifted, setting his feet on the floor. 

He looked up at the sound of the door sliding open. Yuri stood in the opening, nervously rubbing one elbow. 

“Yuri…”

Yuri blushed. “S… sorry I’m late.”

Victor stood and walked over. He reached out to touch Yuri’s arm, but pulled his hand back at the last second. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

Yuri looked at the floor. “I almost didn’t.” He was silent for several seconds. “Sorry.”

Victor laid his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Yuri bit his lip, and Victor had the hardest time restraining himself from leaning in and kissing him. 

Victor guided Yuri over to the bench in the window and sat him down. He sat opposite him and took Yuri’s hands, running his thumbs over the knuckles. He wanted to talk, to hug the other man, kiss him. Victor was a man of action, but for once he knew he had to be still and allow Yuri to guide. 

“Have you ever heard of pinball machine?” Yuri asked after several minutes of silence.

Victor blinked. “It rings a bell, but I can’t immediately place it.”

“It’s an old arcade game, from the twentieth century,” Yuri explained. “There’s a ball in a machine. It bounces off obstacles, and at the bottom there are flappers that toss the ball back into play. The goal is to hit it into places that add to your score, and the longer you keep the ball in play the higher your score climbs because you can keep getting those points.”

“I think I know what you’re talking about now.”

“We had one in the physics department in college,” Yuri continued. “It’s a great thing for Newtonian physics. Force, momentum… you can see it all play out, not just numbers on a screen. It helps undergrads understand better. 

“It’s also a lot of fun. I used to play it for hours.”

“Ok…” Victor said, thumbs bumping over Yuri’s knuckles, silently encouraging him to go on. 

Yuri’s lips quirked up into a half smile before settling down again. “I find myself increasingly feeling like that ball, bouncing around and not under my own control. Today I went down to astrophysics, and I was just so… angry. I came out here to study that black hole, and right now I hate it.”

“I can’t say I blame you.”

Yuri took a deep breath, and turned to look out at the stars. “I’ve heard about the stages of grief, but I always thought they were like checkboxes, one at a time. Finish one, move onto the next. Instead I’m bouncing like that pinball, angry, then depressed. One minute I’d give anything to have them back, then can’t believe they’re gone at all.”

Yuri paused and shook his head. He shifted as if to stand. “I’m afraid I’m not good company right now.”

Victor squeezed Yuri’s hand. “Only a fool would fault you for your emotions.”

Yuri paused a moment then settled back onto the bench. “I always thought they made me weak.”

“It’s not weak to grieve. In fact there is strength in being able to show your emotions, and not hide them from the world. It proves you’re strong enough to be who you really are.”

Yuri looked up, and for a moment their eyes met. Victor’s breath caught in his throat as Yuri smiled softly. “Thank you.”

Victor mirrored Yuri’s smile, but it faltered as Yuri looked down again and retrieved his hands from Victor’s. He drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, closed off. 

Several more minutes of silence passed before Yuri spoke again. “I thought for sure that I wouldn’t make the crew. I thought that by marrying me, Phichit had thrown away his chance to be on the mission.”

“Why would you think that?”

Yuri looked up briefly, then out at the stars again. “I have an anxiety disorder. It’s not the most desirable personality trait on a mission like ours. We all knew we would be under extreme stress for years. You can’t put that many people into an enclosed area with little to no outside communication for that long without personality conflicts cropping up.”

“I thought you all trained for that.”

Yuri nodded. “We did, but the training wasn’t on how to prevent it, but how to deal with it when it happened. Nobody was so foolish to think that it just wouldn’t happen if we all liked each other enough.”

Victor reached out and placed his hand over where Yuri’s were clasped around his legs. “We’re not so different. We train for internal conflict too. It’s part of a larger training, but the discipline of a military structure definitely helps.”

Yuri smiled softly at Victor. 

“Everybody else was easy to read when there was a problem,” Yuri said after a moment. “Seung-gil seethed openly, Cao Bin composed macabre opera, singing songs of betrayal through the corridors. Phichit…” Yuri paused. “Phichit would grin despite the pain, and throw himself into his work. JJ and Izzy would get into boisterous fights, neither willing to back down, then drive us all nuts for days with equally loud makeup sex.” Yuri chuckled. “The first time it happened we thought we had a problem, but they always came out stronger on the other end.” 

“What did you do?” Victor asked softly. 

Yuri laid his forehead on his knees. “That’s one of the things that makes anxiety so dangerous out here. I became unreadable, to almost everybody except Phichit, and even he struggled at times.” Yuri paused. “I have a tendency to withdraw, to hide my emotions behind a wall. Standing out when I’m already vulnerable is terrifying.”

Victor sighed. “Withdrawing isn’t a bad thing.”

“Yes it is. We needed to count on being able to read each other, to know exactly how we’d react in an emergency. You can’t read somebody who’s not there.”

Victor squeezed Yuri’s hand, wishing he was holding it instead of just fumbling around Yuri’s closed posture. “You’re here now. Despite everything, you’re here.”

Yuri nodded. “I’m struggling.”

Victor rubbed his thumb over Yuri’s wrist. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For opening up to me, for being brave enough to come. Just from what you’ve said here I can understand how hard it must have been to come down here tonight.”

Yuri looked up at Victor again. “I… I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. I hardly know you.”

Victor smiled and scooted closer. “I’d like to think it’s because you trust me.”

Yuri’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. He hid his face again, shoulders trembling. 

“I’m sorry,” Victor said after a moment. “I… I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Yuri shook his head, but didn’t look up. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Victor squeezed Yuri’s arm. “Yuri… What do you need, what do you want from me?”

“Your crew already takes care of everything.”

“No Yuri… from me. What can  _ I _ do for you? Who do you want me to be? I’d prefer to not just be a captain to you.”

Yuri looked up, eyes red. “Just… keep being you.”

Victor smiled. “I think i can handle that.”

Their eyes stayed connected, and Victor felt he was drowning in the beautiful pools of brown. He wanted to kiss Yuri, to take his face in his hands and kiss away all the pain. 

“Bridge to the captain,” a voice sounded over the communication system. 

Victor sighed and squeezed Yuri’s knee. “Give me just a moment.”

Yuri nodded. 

Victor stood and strode to the panel in the room. “Captain Nikiforov here.”

“Captain, we have a communication coming from Earth.”

“At this hour? What does the admiral need?”

“Sir, it’s not for you.”

Victor blinked. “We don’t have any communication restrictions, why not direct it to the recipient?”

“It’s for Mr. Katsuki sir. I thought you’d want to know before we put it through.”

Victor looked to Yuri, whose head popped up at his name. 

“I’m with him now. Is there a free panel in the deck ten rec room?”

“Panel B is open.”

“Patch it there. We’ll be there in a minute.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor held his hand in Yuri’s direction. “Were you expecting a call?”

Yuri uncurled and stood. He shook his head. “No.”

Victor smiled. “Seems you have one. Come on. The rec room is right around the corner, and there are privacy booths for communication. You could take it in your room, but this is closer.”

Yuri nodded and walked over. “Ok.”

Victor guided Yuri a couple doors away from the mess to a room bustling with activity. Groups sat around low tables, deep in discussion, others played games. Victor led Yuri off to one side, past a privacy booth to one labeled B.

“In here,” Victor said. 

Yuri chewed his lip. “Come in with me?”

“Are you sure?”

Yuri thought for a moment, then nodded. “I have no idea who it could be, and I… I’d rather not deal with a stranger for long with my mood right now.”

Victor nodded. “Ok. The booth seats two, so I can join you.”

“Thank you.”

Victor pressed the panel next to the door, and it slid open, revealing two chairs and a screen. He held out one hand, inviting Yuri to proceed. 

Yuri took the chair on the left, and Victor took his place on the right. 

Yuri reached forward and touched the ‘accept’ icon. 

Victor blinked as the image filled the screen. He’d expected some dignitary, instead the smiling faces of three identical old women appeared. 

Yuri however, immediately hiccupped, bringing his hands to his face, tears spilling from his eyes. “Girls!”

The women smiled in unison. 

“Do… do you speak english well enough? I remember you still struggled a bit for conversations when I left.”

“We got better at it,” the one in the middle said, smile widening. 

Yuri smiled, and Victor felt his heart full to bursting at the joy on the other man’s face. 

“How old are you girls now?” Yuri asked. “I think i missed a few birthdays.”

The trio laughed. “We celebrated our hundred and fourth birthday earlier this year,” the one in the middle said.

Another of the women chimed in. “Are you going to introduce us to your friend Uncle Yuri?”

“Uncle?” Victor asked. “I thought you’d never met your sister’s children. Your bio said she had them after you left.”

Yuri laughed. “I’m not their uncle by blood. Their parents were some of my best friends. Our families have always been close.” Yuri turned to the screen. “Girls, this is Captain Victor Nikiforov.” He paused to squint. “Victor, this is Axel, Lutz and Loop Nishigori, though I can’t say I know who is who these days. Their mom used to color code them, but seems that’s no longer tradition.”

The women broke into laughter. 

“I’m Axel,” the one in the middle said. 

“Lutz!” cheered the one on the left of the screen. 

“Loop,” said the third. 

“Though our names have changed,” Axel added. “We all took married names decades ago.”

Something about the names seemed familiar to Victor, but he couldn’t place the reason.

“Oh…” Yuri said, smile faltering. “Sorry…”

“It’s ok Uncle Yuri,” Loop said. “We’ll always be the Nishigori triplets to you.”

“We’ll have to introduce you to our grandchildren when you get back,” Lutz said. “Loop’s even expecting another  _ great- _ grandchild.”

“Uncle Yuri would even be able to keep up with them,” Axel said with a smile. 

Yuri visibly relaxed in the chair, but a frown crossed his face. “I missed so much.”

“You had a good excuse. Don’t worry though, we got video of all the big stuff for you.”

“You mom never could pry the cameras away from you.”

“We all ended up working with them,” Lutz said. 

“We’ll have to show you our awards,” Axel added with a grin. “Each of us has several for cinematography.”

Yuri’s eyes widened. “You’re joking.”

Something stuck in Victor’s mind, then it clicked. “No, they’re not.”

Yuri turned, eyes wide. “You know who they are?”

Victor smiled. “The names seemed familiar, but now I can place them. The Nishigori surname threw me off. These lovely ladies are some of the most decorated cinematographers in history. They revolutionized the movie industry in how films were made. Toward the end of their career, their names alone were as important as the actors and actresses, because you knew the movie would be beautiful.”

Axel grinned. “Why thank you.”

Victor nodded. “It’s an honor to meet you. It was a loss to the industry when you retired.”

“Who said we retired?” Axel laughed. “We just decided to work on smaller projects. We’ve each got fantastic video of our families.”

Victor laughed. “Too bad they’re not in contention for awards.”

“They’d probably win,” Loop said with a chuckle. “You’d think Axel’s family had perpetual perfect lighting, and lived in a fairytale kingdom.”

Yuri smiled softly. “It’s good to hear that you all did so well for yourselves.”

Axel mirrored the smile. “We’ve led full lives, but having you back is something everybody hoped for for so long. We’re glad to be able to see you again.”

Victor watched Yuri wipe tears from just under his eyes, bumping up his glasses to reach them. He reached over and squeezed Yuri’s shoulder. 

“You haven’t lost everybody,” Loop said. “We’re still here, and you have family to meet still.”

“Somebody told me about them. I have a nephew and a great-nephew?”

“And a niece who lives in America. I’m pretty sure there’s more family in her line but she doesn’t get back to Japan often.”

Yuri nodded. 

“We asked to be the first though,” Loop said. “We figured you’d want to talk to people you knew.”

Yuri sniffled and nodded. “You know how I am.”

The trio laughed, then a small voice yelled from outside the range of the view. 

“Seems school’s out,” Axel said. “We need to go. Loop’s oldest great-grandchildren are at that age where they stop by in the afternoons for quality time.”

Yuri nodded. “Thanks for contacting me girls. It’s great to see you.”

“We’re gonna have to talk about that name,” Lutz joked. “We haven’t been girls in a long time.”

Yuri shook his head. “You’ll always be those rambunctious triplets to me.”

The women laughed. “We’ll chat again soon Uncle Yuri, and we’ll have your great-nephew keep some katsudon warm for you.”

The screen went dark, and Yuri burst into tears. “They’re alive!” he cried. He launched himself at Victor, and as Victor held him he felt as if there was never a better moment in his life than holding Yuri Katsuki, crying from joy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Medical science ya'll! Those triplets are going strong cause future medicine means 100+ isn't uncommon. Though much over 110-115 in their era is still pushing it. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri struggles with his conflicting emotions as he yearns to get closer to Victor but wants to remain loyal to Phichit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love how much love this fic gets. 
> 
> This is a bit of a harder chapter, but trust me. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor strode onto the bridge, smile on his face and steaming mug of tea in his hand. 

Chris turned in his chair and grinned as his eyes landed on Victor. “Good morning Captain.”

“Good morning Chris,” Victor singsonged. “I take it you relieved Georgi early today?”

Chris nodded. “I was up, and he came on early last night to relieve Parsons, who was feeling ill.”

“Is Parsons ok?” Victor asked, sinking into his chair. 

Chris nodded. “Reports from medical indicate a mild bug. He should be back on duty in a few days. In the meantime I’ve already rearranged the duty roster to compensate.”

Victor nodded. “Thank you. Anything else?”

“Engineering reports that the specifications for the data port adaptors have arrived from Earth. They’re working with fabrication to make one now.”

Victor took a sip of his tea. “Great,” he hummed. “Keep me informed. I’d like to know when we start getting data.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor felt Chris’s eyes on him. He turned, raising one eyebrow at his friend. 

Chris gave an innocent look in return. 

Victor laughed and stood. “Mila, you have the bridge.”

“Aye sir,” she responded as Victor and Chris headed into the office. 

“Somebody had a good night,” Chris grinned as soon as the door closed behind them. He squinted at Victor. “Not sex good, but pretty damn good otherwise.”

“Chris!” Victor felt the blush over his cheeks.

Chris laughed and flopped onto the couch. “Just calling it like I see it. So are you going to give me the details, or do I have to guess?”

Victor leaned against his desk, soft smile on his face. “It started a bit rough, for a bit I thought he wasn’t going to show. But… oh Chris it ended perfectly.”

Chris leaned forward, elbows on his knees.  

Victor walked over and took a free spot on the couch. “I think we really started to connect last night.” He paused and bit his lip. “He’s hurting, but I think he trusts me enough to open up. At least he did last night.”

Chris smiled. “That’s an important step.”

Victor nodded. “And it got better from there.”

“The communication from Earth?” Chris guessed. 

Victor stared. 

“Georgi reported it,” Chris added with a shrug. 

Victor smiled again. “It turns out that Yuri didn’t lose everybody after all. The call was from three old friends.”

One of Chris’s eyebrows shot up. 

“They were just children when he left, but close friends of the family. They even called him uncle.” Victor took a sip of his tea. “Have you ever heard of the cinema sisters?”

“Who hasn’t?” Chris replied with a shrug. He paused. “Wait… you mean?”

Victor nodded. “Yuri knew them before he left. It was cute, three famous old ladies on the screen and he kept calling them girls. And he was so happy to see them, he sobbed with sheer joy in my arms for probably twenty minutes after the call ended.”

Victor took another sip of tea. “After that I asked if he wanted to see one of their movies. He was so excited. So we ended up in one of the viewing rooms on deck ten. I picked my favorite, but it was late.”

Victor sighed happily and closed his eyes. “I could tell he was tired as the movie went on. I don’t think he quite realized he was doing it, but he kept getting closer. Then about three-quarters of the way through he fell asleep against me. I held him long after the movie was over, he seemed to need it so much.”

Victor smiled. “It was almost a shame when he woke up. I would have stayed in that viewing room all night, him asleep in my arms. We have plans to meet again tonight.”

Chris smiled. “I’m glad for you, but don’t get ahead of yourself. He’s still grieving.”

Victor sighed. “It’s hard when he’s right there, and so perfect.”

* * *

 

Yuri hugged a pillow to his chest. Hearing from the triplets had eased the ache in his soul, but the pain returned quickly. 

Guilt ate at him. He’d been so exhausted during the movie, the emotional roller-coaster draining him. Victor had been warm and he hadn’t even realized how close he’d gotten. Then he’d woken, most definitely in the other man’s arms. 

Yuri curled into the pillow, remembering that moment when he’d woken, content and happier than he’d been in years. He hadn’t wanted it to end. Tears spilled from his eyes. “I’m sorry Phichit.”

Yuri cried, remembering his husband and the guilt that had consumed him for several years; guilt that he didn’t love the man he’d married even when Phichit had fallen in love with him. 

He thought of the last time he and Phichit had slept together, the Thai man nestled against him in post-coital bliss. 

They’d had an unspoken agreement ever since Phichit had confessed his feelings, that it was a topic to stay away from. But Yuri could hardly fault his husband when, nearly asleep and still thrumming with pleasure he’d murmured a soft ‘I love you Yuri’ into his chest.

Yuri had gone to Celestino the next morning, and asked the captain to change his schedule. He’d told himself that he was needed in the lab more overnight than during the day, that the readings were better. 

But he knew he’d been afraid, afraid of disappointing the man who was still his best friend, even if he wasn’t somebody he was in romantic love with. 

He remembered the sadness in Phichit’s eyes, when Yuri told him that he’d switched to the overnight shift; that they’d no longer share a bed, at least not at the same time. He said he needed room, and that he’d switch back once the ship was headed back toward Earth. 

Neither of them believed it. They avoided the topic of divorce as fiercely as they did their different feelings, but Yuri knew it was something they’d each had planned to address on their return. 

Through it all though, they’d remained loyal. They hadn’t been the first couple to have problems, but where others had strayed before rejoining they’d always remained devoted to each other. Yuri hadn’t sought the comfort of another man’s bed, and he hadn’t heard so much as a rumor of Phichit straying either. 

Remembering it was too much, and Yuri cried harder. After so much time staying loyal to his husband, Yuri fell in love with Victor more and more each day. He hadn’t wanted to leave Victor’s arms. He wanted to wake up like that every day, nestled into the other man’s warm embrace. And he wanted more too, he wanted to feel Victor’s lips against his own, and though he tried to deny it he knew that deep down he wanted to know what it was like to sleep with the handsome captain. 

Even through his tears he was already anticipating seeing the other man again, and he knew that he had to put a stop to it. 

* * *

“Minami-san,” Yuri said in Japanese, approaching the young man in the mess. “May I join you?”

“Katsuki-san!” Minami replied with a grin in their shared language. “Please, have a seat.”

Yuri smiled softly and sat across from the other man. “Thank you.”

Minami nodded. “How’s your hand?”

Yuri looked at his palm, at the fading lines from the day prior. “Almost healed.”

Minami smiled. “That’s good.” He took a bite of food then continued. “We’re out of an observation cycle right now, onto data analysis before we determine what we want to chase. In case you have some insight.”

“Thank you,” Yuri said again. He chewed his bottom lip. “Minami-san?”

“Yes?”

“I… I know it won’t be a proper butsudan, but… is there someplace onboard that I can get the essentials for a small shrine.”

Minami blinked, then nodded. “You can get most of what you need from fabrication. They’re on deck six. The incense will be the hardest for you probably. The air filters don’t like traditional incense, so we have a smokeless variety. Instead of lighting them, you break the top off the stick. Visually it’s similar, but the particulates break down quickly so they don’t clog the air filters.”

Yuri nodded. “I think it’ll be ok. I… I just need to talk to them.”

Minami nodded. “I think I understand.”

Yuri smiled. “Thank you. I didn’t think anybody else would quite understand.”

Minami smiled. “Of course. Let me know if you need help with anything else.”

Yuri nodded. 

“Yuri!”

Yuri turned to see Emil walking toward him. He nodded in greeting. 

Emil grabbed the free chair, turned it so that the back was toward the table and sat. “It was a shame you left so early yesterday. We got some fantastic readings.”

Yuri shook his head. “I… I couldn’t stay,” he said, switching to English.

“Minami said you cut your hand?”

Yuri nodded. 

“May I?” Emil asked, holding out his hand. 

Yuri bit his lip, but held out his hand so that Emil could see. The other man’s eyebrows drew together as he looked at the crescent shaped marks. “I see.”

Yuri turned his head. 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Emil said softly. 

“I was weak, I let my emotions get the better of me.”

Emil sighed. 

“I don’t get it,” Minami said. 

“Hopefully you never need to,” Emil said. He turned back to Yuri. “You’re not weak. You’re human. I don’t know anybody who wouldn’t struggle in a time like this.”

Yuri sighed. 

“I come bearing good news,” Emil said, forcing a cheerful tone. 

Both Yuri and Minami looked at him. 

“Mickey got the specs he needed for a data adapter. Fabrication should be done with it in another few hours. Then we can get into the data from the Michell.”

Minami squealed with glee. Yuri bit his lip. 

Emil nodded. “Whenever you’re ready. I’m assuming you kept good logs?”

Yuri nodded. 

Emil sighed. “That brings me to another issue, one that I don’t think we can avoid much longer.”

Yuri chewed his lip, then forced himself to nod again. 

“Are you ready?”

Yuri shook his head. “No, but I know I have to talk about it eventually. And… I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

“Chris will talk to you later to set it up,” Emil said. “Most likely it’ll be the captain, Chris, Mickey, and myself. Mila might join but I don’t know for sure.”

Yuri nodded again, biting his lip. 

Emil reached out and patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’re among friends. It’s just something we have to do.”

Yuri tried and failed to smile. Emil sighed. 

“I need to get back,” Emil said. “I’ll see you later.” He turned. “Ensign, I’ll see you when your duty shift starts.”

“Yes sir.”

Emil walked away. 

“What was that about?” Minami asked. 

Yuri turned to where he could just see out the windows. “They need to debrief me. I… I ‘ll have to tell them what happened.”

“Oh.”

* * *

Yuri paced in his room, chewing on his bottom lip.

Chris had come to him in the afternoon and scheduled a debriefing for the following day. Mickey had approached him not long after, asking him to help with the data from the Michell afterward. 

Yuri wasn’t ready, but he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. 

The debriefing weighed heavy on his mind, but something else was heavier. 

“Computer, time.”

“Twenty-one forty-five.”

Yuri let out a shuddering sigh. Fifteen minutes. He had fifteen minutes to decide what to do about Victor. 

He’d spent hours after talking to Chris and Mickey assembling what he needed for a small shrine. It wasn’t the most elegant thing, housed in a tiny cabinet, but it had what he needed most for the time being: photos of his parents and Mari, and Phichit. The people he needed to talk to. Minami had been right about the incense, but Yuri hoped that he would be forgiven for making the necessary adjustments. 

Yuri resumed pacing. There were more than his own feelings to consider. He could see that the attraction between him and Victor was mutual. The small touches, filled with warmth, the sweet smile, and even the looks in the other man’s eyes told him that the other man was interested. 

Yuri didn’t know why, he wasn’t special, but he wasn’t blind to it either. 

He could also see the struggle. Victor was trying so hard to respect his pain, to give him space to grieve, while at the same time offering himself as moral support. 

Yuri wanted, and he hated himself for it. 

Yuri wanted the warmth of Victor’s embrace, he wanted to taste his lips, wanted more. He never wanted to know a day without the other man in his life. He wanted to fall into Victor’s arms and finally, fully grieve. 

Yuri wiped away a tear. He remembered his wedding vows, and how faithful Phichit had been. He owed it to him, to at least mourn properly. It was disrespectful to fall in love again so quickly. 

He’d already let it go too far. 

A chime sounded. 

Yuri chewed his bottom lip and left for the mess. The least he could do was be on time. 

* * *

Victor smiled as he looked out the window at the stars. The occasional asteroid in the debris field floated past, but they’d had no issues with them since increasing their deflector strength.

His mind kept drifting to the prior night, the feeling of Yuri in his arms, his soft warmth, the smell of his hair. Everything in Victor cried out for more. 

The doors slid open, and Victor’s face broke into a smile. Yuri, beautiful, wonderful, Yuri, stood framed in the entry. 

Victor stood to greet the other man, but his smile faded. Yuri was nervous, and appeared to have been crying. 

“Yuri…” Victor took several steps closer. 

“Stop,” Yuri said, voice so soft and timid Victor wasn’t sure that he’d heard correctly. 

“Yuri?”

“I… I’m sorry.”

“What?” Fear gripped Victor’s heart. 

“I… I can’t.” Yuri looked at the floor. “I’m sorry. It’s too soon.”

Victor took several more steps. “Yuri. I’m sorry, I trying not to push. Please.”

Yuri took a step back, shaking his head vigorously. “Please. Don’t make this harder.”

“Yuri,” Victor begged. “I’ll wait as long as you need. Let me be here for you.”

Yuri looked up at him, and Victor’s heart broke at his expression. “I… I can’t,” Yuri cried, even as his feet took him a step closer. 

“Yuri…” Victor chanced several steps, arms open. 

Yuri took another step back. “Please…” he whined. “Please. I… I just can’t. It’s too soon.”

Victor’s arms fell to his sides. “Please Yuri, don’t do this.”

Yuri shook his head, then wiped a tear away. “I’m sorry. I have to.” He turned before Victor could protest again, running from the room. 

Victor stared as the door closed behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Recovery and love, neither are straight lines with a clear goal in mind. Right now Yuri's hurting, and he's lost.
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and Victor each confront their emotions as guilt continues to eat at Yuri, then it's time for the debriefing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thanks to everybody for the love on this fic. It's nice to see so many people enjoying it. 
> 
> Still a lot of emotion going on in this chapter. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Yuri’s pillow was soaked from crying. He flipped it, but quickly realized he’d already used the other side and it hadn’t dried yet. It wasn’t until he’d switched to a different pillow that he was able to find a spot that wasn’t tearstained. 

“What do I do Phichit?” he asked of the empty room.

He was miserable, the heartbroken look on Victor’s face seared into his memory. Everything in him wanted to run to the other man, apologize… ask for forgiveness. He’d do almost anything to put the heart-shaped smile back. 

Yuri held up his hand, just visible in the light seeping in through the small windows from the external running lights. He could still make out the indentation in his finger where his wedding ring had rested for so long. 

He’d forgotten to put it on when the alarms sounded. Phichit had died with his. Just one more way Yuri had betrayed his vows. 

Yuri turned onto his side and curled around the tear-soaked pillow. 

“I’m sorry Victor,” Yuri cried, muffling his voice with the pillow. “I really am.”

* * *

Victor took a sip of coffee and grimaced. He swirled the brown liquid in the mug, sighed and took a larger gulp. He needed the caffeine.

He couldn’t remember having been so tired in several years, but sleep had eluded him for far too long the prior night.  

He’d gone over every interaction with Yuri in his mind, over and over since the other man had first woken in the medical bay. He’d tried to recall if there had been a point he’d made him uncomfortable. He’d wondered if he’d inadvertently said something to offend him. 

The look in Yuri’s eyes haunted him. Even as he examined his own actions he knew that the sorrow he’d seen on Yuri’s face was real. He hadn’t wanted to distance himself, but felt obligated to. 

“You have the bridge,” Victor said to Chris, not even breaking stride between the lift and his office. He needed to work, to try and take his mind off Yuri. 

He could feel Chris’s eyes on him, he didn’t care. 

Victor pulled up the reports from overnight: Parsons’ bug had gotten worse and he was going to be out an extra few days. Astrophysics was requesting external running lights on the lower starboard side be extinguished from midnight to oh-eight-hundred every night for the remainder of the mission. Engineering provided an update on the number of microparticles that the deflectors had protected the ship from. Chris had scheduled Yuri’s debriefing for that afternoon. 

Victor sighed, leaned back and draped his arm over his eyes. Yuri had to have known even as he was breaking Victor’s heart that they’d have to face each other in a matter of hours. 

He didn’t know if that made it better or worse. 

The door slid open and Chris walked in. 

“Not now Chris.”

Chris crossed his arms, narrowed his eyes and sat on the couch. “I’ll wait.”

“I can order you out you know.”

“You can throw me in the brig for insubordination too. But we both know that it won’t come to that. Something happened, and there aren’t a whole lot of people you can talk to about private matters on this ship. I can see you need to talk.”

“No I don’t.”

“Bullshit.”

Victor scowled. “Don’t tell me what I need Chris.”

Chris stood, stormed over and braced his palms on the top of Victor’s desk. He glared down at the captain. 

“Look,” Chris growled. “I get it. Something happened and you’re hurting. But you’re the captain of this ship. Hundreds of people depend on you at any minute. You’re allowed a bad day, you’re only human. But it’s your duty as captain to be in the mindset to lead. I’m here because you need a friend right now. Your mind is elsewhere. I can guess, but I’d rather hear it from you. Bottling it up makes it worse, it takes your mind from your duty. So you can either talk to me about it, or I’ll be forced to note that you appeared distracted and didn’t seek remedy in my daily log.”

“That’s extortion.”

“Is it? Seems like the truth to me. Unless you have somebody else you’d rather confide in. Or maybe you have something in that coffee to take your mind off him.”

Victor glared, and Chris returned it. 

“Fine!” Victor blared, standing and bracing himself in a position mirroring Chris. “You want to know? Yuri told me last night that he couldn’t, that it was too soon. He walked out before we even had a chance to talk about it!”

Victor was breathing heavily from combined anger and emotional pain.

Chris met Victor’s gaze for several seconds before speaking, voice calm and measured. “Doesn’t that feel better?”

Victor blinked. “What?”

Chris smiled. “Doesn’t it feel better to get it off your chest?”

Victor stood, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The pain remained, but the outburst had taken the edge off his rage. He sighed. “Yeah… it kinda does. It still hurts though.”

Chris nodded. “One outburst won’t get rid of it. Are you ready to talk now though?”

Victor sighed. “You’re relentless.”

Chris stood. “That’s why you picked me for your first officer.”

The corners of Victor’s mouth twitched up. “You’re right.” He walked over to the couch and slumped onto it. “I’ve been over it all. Over and over. Everything I’ve said and done. I… I thought things were going so well, and I have no idea what I did wrong.”

Chris took the empty side of the couch. “Have you considered the possibility that you did nothing wrong? That it’s merely what he said, that it's too soon?”

Victor held his head. “Then why wouldn’t he talk to me? I’m willing to wait. Right now he needs somebody, and I want to be that person for him.”

“Have you considered his feelings?”

“That’s what I’m trying to do!”

Chris shook his head. “Tell me about it; how he was acting last night.”

Victor sighed. “He… he was on the verge of tears. Almost like his emotions were tearing him apart. I just wanted to hold him close, hold him together.”

Chris sighed. “Have you considered that… his emotions might be the problem?”

“I know he’s hurting but…”

Chris shook his head again. “Victor. You said he called you beautiful when he woke up the first time. He flung himself into your arms in joy, and he got closer to you unconsciously. He may feel the same about you that you do about him.”

Victor hung his head in his hands. “Then why push me away?”

“Because for him. It might just really be too soon. He’s been on board less than a week. To him it hasn’t been ninety years. It’s been less than a week since everything he knew came crashing down. Remember how you tried to avoid him at first, because you knew how you felt would be a complication. He might be trying the same thing now.”

Victor sighed. “So what do I do Chris?”

“For now, that’s up to him.”

* * *

“Yuri!” Sara greeted him with a smile as he strode into the medical bay.

“Hey Sara,” Yuri said, wincing slightly. 

Her eyes narrowed. “What’s up?”

“Got anything for a headache?”

Sara studied him for a minute, then nodded. “Have a seat on a bed.”

“You need to examine me?”

“Just to be sure,” she said. “Unless you know what caused it.”

Yuri looked at the ground. “Crying…” he mumbled.

“Say again?” Sara asked. 

Yuri sighed. “I was crying all night.”

Sara frowned. “Ok. Have a seat anyway though.”

Yuri nodded and trudged to a bed. He sat on the edge and watched as Sara moved about the medical bay. She returned a moment later with a large glass of water, her scanning wand and another piece of equipment. 

“Do you think there’s a problem?” Yuri asked as he accepted the water, taking a long drink. 

Sara started running her wand near his head. “No. The crying probably explains the headache, but I’d like to be sure.”

Yuri took another drink of water, and noticed the headache ease. 

Sara set down the wand and moved to a screen. “Dehydration, slight inflammation… probably from crying. Nothing to worry about. Is the water helping?”

Yuri nodded. 

“Good.” She walked back over, picked up the other small device she’d set on the bed and stuck it to Yuri’s forehead. “Finish the water, then lay back a few minutes. This will get rid of the rest of the headache.”

“You don’t have something to give me?”

She shrugged. “I do, but this is more effective. It emits pulses that’ll ease the tension and inflammation, and faster too.”

“Ok,” Yuri said as he finished the rest of the water. He laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. He listened to the hum of the ship, Sara’s footsteps as she moved around the medical bay, and the soft beeps from a monitor. 

He was almost asleep when he heard Sara approach. She set her hand on his arm. “Better?” she asked softly. 

Yuri realized that his headache had completely dissipated. He hummed and nodded. 

“Good.”

Yuri moved to sit up as she pulled the device from his forehead, but a hand on his chest held him down. 

“Doctor?”

“Sleep. I’ll wake you before your debriefing this afternoon.”

“How do you know about that?”

“All the senior staff does, so we can drop in at our discretion.”

“I should get ready,” Yuri argued halfheartedly. 

“You should sleep. It’s not a test, or something you need to study for. I can see the exhaustion on your face. You cried instead of slept.”

Yuri sighed and relaxed against the bed. 

Sara smiled, dimmed the lights over the bed and pulled a privacy curtain around. “Sweet dreams.”

* * *

“You’re taking the lead on this Chris,” Victor said as they headed into the conference room to prep for the debriefing.

“Captain?” Chris asked. 

Victor shook his head. “I need to keep my own feelings out of this. Even if I just let him talk, I won’t be able to do that. If I have questions I’ll run them by you first, and you can decide whether to ask them or not.”

Chris sighed. “Do you want to stay on the bridge instead?”

Victor shook his head. “No. The admiral is expecting me to contact him with my initial impressions as soon as it’s over, even if the official report is later.”

Chris nodded. “I’ll take the lead then.”

“Thanks.”

Mickey and Emil came in and took their seats, followed by Mila. 

Finally Yuri arrived, and Victor’s heart broke all over again. The man seemed nervous, but even worse was the obvious red around his eyes. 

Chris looked around as Yuri took a seat, gave everybody a minute, then stood. “Good afternoon,” he said. “The captain has asked that I lead today. Is there anything anybody would like to say before we get started?”

Heads shook around the table, and Chris turned to Yuri. “Are you ready?”

Yuri chewed his bottom lip, then nodded. 

“Computer, begin official recording,” Chris said. “Debriefing of Yuri Katsuki, rescued survivor from the civilian science vessel Michell, presumed lost ninety years ago.”

Chris paused, then looked to Yuri. “I think the best way to do this is to start wherever you think is most appropriate.”

Yuri nodded and was silent for a moment before starting. “I… I don’t know exactly what happened. But I know it’s my fault.”

Silence around the table. “Why do you say that?” Chris asked. 

“Because, from what I understand, Captain Celestino moved us in closer based on my calculations.”

“On what you understand?” Chris asked. “Weren’t you monitoring?”

“No.” Yuri wrung his hands. “I was asleep when the alarms sounded. I was on the night shift at the time.”

Victor saw Chris scowl from the corner of his eye before returning his full attention to Yuri, who was obviously fighting back tears. 

“Ok,” Chris said. “We’ll come back to what you either think happened or were informed of secondhand. Tell us how you ended up in the escape pod.”

Yuri chewed on his lip. “I… I think I can do that.” He paused. “Like I said, I was asleep when the alarms sounded. As soon as I woke up I knew I needed to go to my station. I was headed there when Phichit grabbed me.”

“Phichit Chulanont?” Chris asked, consulting a data pad.

Yuri nodded. “Yes.”

“He was your husband, wasn’t he?”

Yuri nodded again, and wiped away a tear. Victor’s heart clenched watching the other man try to hold back his emotions. 

“Phichit… he pulled me toward the escape pod. They were loading the data modules, switching out the ones that had been backed-up to the night before. They filled up every available seat, except that for the pilot, with data storage.”

“Do you know why only one pod was launched?”

Yuri furrowed his brow. “Phichit… he… he said that the system was malfunctioning, that the pods on the port side had been stripped.”

“If the system was malfunctioning, how did yours get launched?”

Yuri whined softly. “Phichit… he was completely renovating the system. When our ship was designed it was assumed that a single launch control would be most efficient. We weren’t trained pilots, and it was designed to get us all clear in a way we could take control after launch protocols and not fly into each other. But it had a flaw. We’d discovered it en route. It there was a fault in one, none of them would launch correctly. Phichit had to redesign it, and it was a slow process. He could only work on one at a time. He first had to release the pod from the rest of the system, convince the computer that it wasn’t a fault, then he could get to reconfiguring the launch protocols. It… it was the only one he’d finished.”

“So Phichit took you to the pod?” Chris confirmed.

Yuri nodded. “He said it was captain’s orders.”

“Were there any other orders?”

“Not then.”

“Not then? So there was more conversation, or did you launch immediately?”

Yuri turned and looked toward the table. “It… it was private.”

“Private?” Mickey asked. “What do you mean private?”

“I mean he said goodbye!” Yuri cried. “He pushed me in there, knowing that he was going to die! He wanted to talk to me one last time… He wanted to say goodbye…” Yuri pulled his knees to his chest, somehow managing to stay perched on the chair. He set his forehead on his knees. “I tried to fight him,” he mumbled into the closed pose. “I said he should be the one to go, that he had a better chance. But… Phichit…”

Victor wanted to run to Yuri, to hold him through his grief. All he could do was watch as he sobbed, waiting for him to be ready to speak again. 

Chris waited until Yuri lifted his head again, wiping away the tears. “Are you ready? Or should we reconvene another day?”

Yuri shook his head. “I… I want to get this over with.”

“What happened after launch?”

“Once I was clear I was able to contact the ship. Celestino ordered me to keep the computer connection open for as long as possible.”

“Why was that?” Mickey asked. 

Yuri furrowed his brow again. “He… said something about getting the information to Earth. Telemetry, stresses…”

Mila paled. “Oh god…”

“Mila?” Chris asked. 

“His captain sent the data of a dying ship,” she explained.

Yuri nodded. “I watched it… until it couldn’t escape the event horizon. I watched the numbers, knowing that my friends… Phichit... they were all dead or dying on that ship. He said,” Yuri paused. “He said to fill up the computer core of the pod with every available scrap of data. He didn’t want anything to be lost.”

“I hadn’t even thought to look at the pod’s memory,” Mickey sighed. 

“You’d have needed the same data adaptor anyway,” Yuri said. “The ports were standard across all systems.”

“Did the captain tell you why you’d been selected for the pod?” Chris cut in.

Yuri chewed his lip. “He said it was because I knew the black hole, and because Phichit asked…”

“If it was an emergency, when did he have time?”

Yuri shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“What happened after that?” Chris continued. 

Yuri shook his head. “Stasis. I woke up here.”

Chris nodded. “I’d like to go back to the beginning now. You said that it was your fault, but that you weren’t on the bridge monitoring. Since this is either conjecture or second hand it’s understood that you might not have exact information.”

Yuri nodded. “Celestino had wanted to be as close as possible. I’d been refining my calculations based on incoming data. We’d been holding for about a week, but there was room to go closer.” Yuri clenched his fist. “At least I’d thought so. Maybe if he’d have waited one more day. I was almost done with the next set of calculations.”

“So he moved closer?”

Yuri nodded again. “At least that’s what Phichit had said. He said that Celestino ordered the ship closer.” His brow furrowed again. “I… I think he said something about a matter ejection, and… the perimeter expanding?”

“You don’t remember?”

Yuri shook his head. “It all happened so fast, and I was still barely awake. Then, the captain was trying to talk to me over the communication system. But… there were hull breaches, and they were venting atmosphere. My final orders were to tell their stories, and to make sure that our work saved lives. Then he cut the voice communication so that I didn’t see their final moments.”

Silence fell over the room as Yuri curled into himself again. Anguish gripped Victor at knowing how devastating Yuri’s final moments with the crew of the Michell had been. 

“Any questions right now?” Chris asked after several moments. 

Heads shook around the table. 

“Yuri, will you be willing to answer questions that come up, either from the data as we retrieve it, or follow-ups that we don’t have yet?”

Yuri nodded. “Yes.”

“Ok then. Computer, end official debriefing.”

Mila stood and walked over to Mickey. “Let me know as soon as you find their sensor logs.”

Mickey nodded, and she walked out. 

Emil was watching Yuri. He approached, then backed off. Victor could just hear him as he leaned in to talk to Mickey. “Same. I want to see their data.”

“Of course,” Mickey said. He stood and accompanied Emil out. 

Chris walked over to Yuri and put his hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself,” Chris said softly. “The captain chose to act on his own. He didn’t request your presence monitoring on the approach.”

“It was my data though, my calculations.”

“And that’s why you should have been there. He would have known that too.”

Chris patted Yuri’s shoulder. “We’ll let you know what we find as we extract the data.”

Then it was just Victor and Yuri in the room. 

Yuri looked up, eyes widening as he realized it. He stood, almost knocking over the chair in his haste. 

“Please,” Victor said, standing. “Please don’t go.”

Yuri’s eyes were wide, lips trembling. He turned without a word and headed toward the door. 

“Yuri!”

Yuri paused, but didn’t turn back to face Victor. 

“Please Yuri. Let me help you through this.” He took a step toward him, one hand outstretched.

Yuri turned just enough to look at Victor, his eyes flicked to the open palm. “I’m sorry. I can’t. Please… please leave me alone.”

Yuri fled the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> The pining is real. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Data adapters on hand, the crew spends several days going over the information gathered by the doomed ship. Meanwhile both Yuri and Victor continue to struggle with their emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An angsty chapter ahead. But don't worry, things will be looking up again soon. Thanks again for all the love on this fic. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

The gentle thrum that filled the engine room was almost the sound of a second home for Yuri. Memories of time spent with Phichit assaulted him as he entered: feet dangling over the edge of the catwalk as he watched his husband work, chatting about anything and everything.

Yuri sniffled and wiped a tear away. He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” Mickey said. “Are you ok?”

Yuri bit his lip, then nodded. “Phichit… he… was the chief engineer. We spent a lot of time in the engine room.”

Mickey was silent for  moment. “We can go elsewhere if you’d like.”

Yuri looked around then nodded again. “If… if it’s not a problem.”

Mickey patted Yuri’s shoulder. “We’ll make it work. Give me a moment.”

“Ok.”

“Jackson!” Mickey called up to one of the higher floors. “Can we move the data retrieval setup to laboratory C?”

A blond man leaned over the banister. “Yeah boss. Give me a few minutes to finish the current processing cycle.”

“As soon as possible.”

“You got it.”

“This way,” Mickey said, leading Yuri out of the engine room and down a hall. “Once we can confirm that the data retrieval process works we’ll likely move things like ship records and personnel logs to the archivists. They’re on thirteen. The rest will be moved down once we extract the data we need for our purposes, sensor logs, scientific data, stuff like that.”

“Ok.”

Screens filled the room as Mickey and Yuri entered. Workstations stood ready.

“This is one of our multi-purpose engineering labs. We do everything from run computer simulations on our equipment to investigate the potential for adapting technology shared from other species here.”

Yuri smiled. “Phichit would have loved to examine alien technology.”

Mickey patted his shoulder again. “I don’t know an engineer who wouldn’t. Every time we make first contact I have to weed through people trying to make the teams for official visits. Just the chance to see the tech is an opportunity nobody wants to miss.”

Yuri chuckled. “And Emil probably gets groans, unless people can take their own equipment.”

“Why do you say that?”

Yuri laughed a bit more. “Cause we’re fueled by a different kind of discovery.There’s fun in learning what somebody else has, but really, we want to figure it out ourselves.”

“So you’re saying our scientists won’t appreciate the readings you took?”

Yuri hummed. “That depends. If all they end up with is more of the same, then probably not as much as if it lets them refine for even better information. If they can use it as a starting point though, then they’ll like it.”

“Which do you think it will be?”

Yuri looked around the room and ran his fingers over a gleaming workstation. “Everything in those data modules, everything I know, is nearly a century out of date.” He paused and looked at Mickey. “What do you think?”

* * *

 

“What do you think?” Victor asked, peering over Mila’s shoulder. “Now that you’ve had a few days to go over their data I’d like to know what you think we’ll need.”

“I’d like to modify the deflector array,” she said, frowning slightly. “Also I think it’s prudent to move into an alert status with shields ready as we approach the ergosphere.”

“Problems?”

Mila scowled. “That ship was designed to take a beating. We’re lighter. I’m glad our shields can compensate for the differences as we get closer.”

“I thought Yuri said the debris was less once we’re closer.”

“Less, yes, but it seems our dark friend out there likes spinning stuff out at high speed. Their logs show that they took more than their fair share of beatings from it. It appears that scientists back on Earth had done their homework when they picked this black hole. They knew it spins, and that they would have to account for anything caught in the rotation.

“We knew their ship was heavy, but it wasn’t all in the supplies,” Mila continued. “Their outer hull was several times thicker than normal for the period, so was the inner, which was more than a meter inside. And not only were their shields and deflectors top of the line, but they would have been considered the most heavily armored Earth-made ship in existence at the time. The only thing missing was a heavy weapons array. They were equipped with pot-shooters in comparison.”

“I see.” Victor nodded. “Make the modifications. I’d like to move past the debris field as soon as possible. Astrophysics is itching to get in closer, and we need to get as much as we can before we have to report for resupply.”

“Yes sir.”

“How long do you think it’ll take?”

“If Mickey can lend me a few people I think we can move in tomorrow morning.”

“Do it.”

“Yes sir.”

“What’s the news from the science departments?” Victor asked as he moved to sit next to Chris.

Chris shrugged. “Happily discovering things? There was a lot of data that hadn’t been processed yet, at least according to what we’ve extracted. Stellar cartography is having a field day. Seem they crossed the path of several comets that were on a perpendicular trajectory to what we’ve moved in, so they’re completely new to us. Apparently they only had a single person on board working on cataloging things like that, and there was a backlog. It wasn’t as important to their mission as the black hole itself. So we’ve got an entire department excitedly asking for more.”

“At least they’re happy,” Victor said with a sigh. “They’d been asking about when we could start circumnavigating this thing. As long as they’ve got things to chart they should ease up a bit.”

“Our analysts in the chemistry department also report that they were able to use the data regarding that gas, since we’ve not been able to collect a clean sample yet. They said that besides compressing in interesting ways, it’s got a unique ionization. Supposedly Emil’s already been told that it’s going to take chemists on Earth years to really dig into what it changes in terms of what we understand about matter on an atomic level.”

“That different?”

Chris shrugged. “Apparently. They’re hoping that we can find the source on the other side, to see if it’s naturally occurring, or if it’s been altered by the stresses of the gravitational field.”

“That’s not in the data?”

“It seems they hadn’t been here long enough to get far into circumnavigating it.”

“I see.”

Victor looked to the front viewscreen, which showed a view of the black hole, then back to Chris. “How… how’s Yuri?” he asked, dropping his voice and switching to French.

Chris’s green eyes scanned Victor’s face. He sighed. “Do you really want to talk about this?” he replied in kind.

Victor looked around the bridge and sighed. “No, but… I can’t get him out of my head Chris. Every time I see him in the corridors, or the mess I want to run to him.”

“You always were good about locking yourself up in your office,” Chris teased before his voice turned serious. “But that does explain why you’ve been spending even more time in there the past few days.”

“He’s everywhere,” Victor groaned. “I go down to astrophysics to get a briefing from Emil, he’s hovering over that ensign’s workstation. I go to engineering and find him and Mickey in a lab, teasing out data that degraded while he was in the escape pod. My office and my quarters are the only places that are safe.”

“The captain of the ship, reduced to hiding from his crush.”

Victor glared at Chris before sighing. “He made himself clear. He wants me to leave him alone. The only way I can do that is to avoid him.”

“You’re not avoiding him if you’re asking about him. You’re just pretending.”

“I’m worried. He’s still hurting.”

“So are you. You’re trying to hide it, but this is tearing you apart.”

“Just tell me how he’s doing.”

Chris was silent for a moment before relenting. “If this was you being a stubborn ass I’d tell you to talk to him yourself. But you’re doing what he wants. However, don’t expect this to be a regular thing. Eventually you’ll have to either find a way to get back into his life, or get over him. Right now you’re stalling, but this can’t go on.”

Victor nodded.

“Both Mickey and Emil report that he’s brilliant, just as history says. But,” Chris made a face, “they also say that there’s something holding him back. Everything he says is couched in terms that minimize his expertise and experience. Mickey said at first he thought it was just an observation. They’d been discussing the data from the Michell, and Yuri had mentioned something about it being collected on instruments a century out of date. It was hardly something worth worrying about. Our sensors and equipment is better than theirs without question, so it seemed a rather common sense thing to say. But…”

“But?” Victor prodded after several seconds.

Chris sighed and dropped his voice a bit more. “He seems to think he’s a century outdated as well, that he’s as obsolete as the equipment they used. One of the engineers asked what his plans are, and he said that if he’s lucky maybe he’ll be relevant enough to teach an introductory course in astrophysics. Even Ensign Minami can’t seem to convince him that his theories and equations are still very much relevant.”

Victor frowned.

“Apparently it’s caused some tension in astrophysics as well. He’s… How did Emil say it?” Chris paused. “Deferential. The crew down there wants to work with him, but he constantly minimizes himself. He’ll say something brilliant, then immediately criticize it as something the other person probably already thought of and discarded. Emil said that once he starts doing it he gets worse and worse until he doesn’t say anything at all or indicates that the personnel down there probably have better ideas.”

“He has an anxiety disorder,” Victor said softly.

“I know, I asked Sara about his mental history when Emil first said something. Emil and Mickey are both considerate of it, and are doing their best to work within his comfort zone, but we felt it best to not make it general knowledge so…” Chris shrugged, “not everybody knows that he’s having difficulty beyond the generational gap.”

Victor sighed and leaned his head back. He stared at the ceiling. “I wish… I wish he would just talk to me.”

“Give it time.” Chris patted Victor’s forearm, then stood. “I’m expected down in archives. They’re going through all the personal data, preparing it for historians on Earth.”

Victor nodded and watched his friend leave the bridge.

* * *

 

Yuri didn’t know what kept calling him back to astrophysics, except for the need to know.

The anger and the pain still struck him every time he looked at where the black hole was, but even the strong emotions weren’t enough to overcome the desire to learn more about it, to discover its deepest secrets.

He was grateful that the crew was so gracious, putting up with him though he had to seem a relic. They allowed him to look at the data and even asked his opinion, even when they had to have better ideas about it.

He smiled slightly, thinking about the readings the ship had been getting, so much more detailed than those from the Michell. He was actually excited to return to the lab that afternoon.

Yuri turned the corner into the mess, and was greeted with the loud chatter of the daytime crew. The room was about half-full as the main lunch rush had passed. He waited in line for a few minutes, got his food and found a seat at an empty table.

He’d no sooner than picked up his chopsticks than the chair across from him scraped across the floor and a scowling blond plunked himself on it.

“Hi Yurio,” Yuri said, wondering what the other man was upset about.

“Katsudon.”

“You can carry your own food you know Yura,” Otabek said, taking another empty chair.

“Otabek,” Yuri said with a bow.

“Good afternoon Yuri,” was the soft reply.

“Hey!” Yurio interrupted. “I need help here!”

Yuri blinked. “Help? With what?”

Yurio sighed and dropped his voice. “I need help with a flight plan.”

“Ok…” Yuri replied. “Why come to me?”

“Because I can’t think of anybody else.”

“But I’m not a pilot.”

Yuri shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. I need somebody who can tell me how to get through those damn rocks.”

Yuri blinked again. “Why me? Wouldn’t Mila be better suited?”

Yurio growled, then sighed. “She’s as stuck as I am. The movement is just so erratic. They’re all moving at different speeds, and along all axises. She said that if I gave her a few days she could come up with something, but that you might know how your ship got through. The captain wants to go in tomorrow, so I don’t have time to wait any longer.”

“Ah…” Yuri said. He rubbed his chin for a moment. “You might want to see the bridge logs to confirm, but I think we ended up matching the rotation, then asteroid hopping.”

“Huh?”

Yuri chewed his lip for a moment. He grabbed the salt and pepper shakers.

“Ok,” he said, placing the pepper shaker in the middle of the table. “This is the black hole.”

“Ok…” Yurio acknowledged, brow furrowing.

Yuri shook some salt into his hand, then formed a ring of it around the pepper shaker. “This salt is the debris ring.”

Yurio nodded.

“The black hole is spinning,” Yuri said, “and the debris ring spins in the same direction.”

“Yeah, but they’re all at different speeds,” Yurio said. “That’s the problem.”

“Only if you’re trying to fly straight through.”

“I don’t get it,” Yurio said, scowling again.

Yuri chewed the inside of his cheek, then drew a finger through the ring of salt, scattering the crystals. “That’s your problem, right? Go straight through, and you’re at odds with the debris.”

“Yeah, except we’re the ones getting scattered.”

Yuri nodded and nudged the salt back into its ring shape.  He drew his finger instead along the line of salt. “It’s easier though if you go with it. See?”

Yurio’s eyes widened, then narrowed again. “But the speeds are still hard to calculate.”

“That’s why you don’t try to go through all at once.”

“Huh?” Yurio echoed.

“There are asteroids bigger than the ship, yes?”

“Da.”

“So what you do is find one, match its speed and hide behind it. It’ll shield us from the smaller ones that are moving faster until the next big one can be found. You just hop from one to another until you’re through.”

“Won’t they just explode when another one hits them?”

Yuri shook his head. “The bigger ones are more stable. It’s the supercompressed ones that are the problem.”

“So,” Yurio said, brows furrowed as he looked at the ring of salt, “what you’re saying is to find a big enough rock to hide behind, go in along the rotation rather than across, then leapfrog our way across?”

Yuri nodded.

Yurio thought about it for a moment, nodded and seemed ready to leave when an idea seemed to strike him. “Hey, how the hell did your escape pod get past if you’re not a pilot?”

Yuri sighed and shrugged. “I have no idea actually. Phichit said he had programmed in a flight path. I’m assuming he told it to match the rotation of the field and ease through.”

“Assuming?”

“What was the condition of the pod?”

“Huh? Why ask me?”

Yuri chewed his lip and looked away. “I… I haven’t seen it.”

“Oh…” Yurio said. “Well, it was pretty dinged up.”

“Rear starboard?”

Yurio nodded.

“That’s what he did. The computers on the pods weren’t robust enough to hop, but could avoid collision on their own. So he just had to pray I made it through. The damage pattern indicates that the pod was mostly on the rotation but going through just enough.”

“So it’s sheer luck you weren’t smashed to smithereens?”

Yuri shrugged. “The pods are fairly small targets, with thick hulls. Also, he’d modified the deflectors on all of them. I could have still been… smashed… out there, but it would have been a fairly small chance.”

Yurio shook his head. “You were all crazy.”

Yuri smiled. “We were scientists. They’ve always been some of the most adventurous among humanity; willing to risk drowning and the pressures of the deepest parts of the ocean, climbing mountains and volcanoes just to figure out what was up there, aiming deeper and deeper into space. The need to know is sometimes more important  than our own lives.”

Yurio shook his head again. “Like I said. Crazy.”

“Maybe,” Yuri replied, looking out the window. He sighed. “Just look at the cost…”

There was a dull thud, Yurio made a noise, and Yuri turned back to see him glaring at Otabek.

“What was that for?” Yurio demanded, leaning down to rub at his leg.

“Figure it out on your own Yura,” Otabek replied.

Yuri smiled at them and took several bites of his quickly chilling food. “Do you think you can create a flight plan now?”

Yurio looked at the ring of salt and nodded. “I think Mila and I should be able to come up with something.”

“It makes sense?”

Yurio shrugged. “It’s better than anything we’d come up with so far.”

Yuri smiled. “Glad to know I’m at least useful for something.”

Otabek scowled, but said nothing. Yuri decided not to ask about whatever was bothering him, and quickly finished his meal. “I need to get down to astrophysics. They're starting a new cycle today.”

Otabek nodded. “Thanks for helping Yura.” He then turned toward the blond.

“Yeah… thanks” Yurio said.

Yuri nodded. “Of course.” He stood. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Yuri took his tray to the disposal station, then headed toward the lifts. He was headed toward astrophysics when he decided to make a detour to Emil’s office first. He wanted to know if there was a way to access the data outside the lab.

The door was open as Yuri approached, and he was glad for the welcoming nature of the other man, but he slowed when he heard voices drifting from inside. One was Emil’s, and the other was from one of the other people in astrophysics whose name he couldn’t quite place.

“Look, it’s my say, and I say he’s welcome,” Emil said with an uncharacteristic dark tone to his voice.

“That’s fine,” the other voice said, Yuri thought his name was Sonders, “but he’s not contributing anything. Meanwhile half the staff is starstuck while the other half tries to work. You can barely pry that ensign from his side.”

“Has Minami’s work suffered for it?”

“No, but I’d rather see him working than play babysitter.”

Yuri’s breath caught in his throat.

“Who says he’s playing babysitter?” Emil demanded. “I’ve reviewed his work, and it’s fine.”

“All I’m saying is that if he’s here he should at least make the effort to contribute. What’s the point of him being around otherwise?”

“Give him time,” Emil growled. “He doesn’t know the equipment controls yet.”

“Is he even trying to learn them?” Sonders demanded. “From what I’ve seen and heard it seems he’s perfectly content being relegated to history!”

A pained sob escaped Yuri’s chest, and the voices stopped.

“Shit,” Sonders said.

Footsteps.

Yuri couldn’t face them. He bolted, hand to his mouth to prevent his crying echoing through the corridor.

“Yuri!” Emil’s voice trailed after him.

Yuri didn’t stop until he was in the lift. His tears flowed freely as it ascended. As soon as the doors opened he turned to make his way to his quarters, and nearly bumped into Victor.

“Yuri…” Victor said, startled. Then there was a pause. “What’s wrong?”

Yuri’s eyes widened and he took several steps back, only stopped by the closed doors of the lift.

“Please,” Victor said, desperation in his eyes. He took several steps toward him.

It was too much: the pain and the longing were at war within him. He wanted to collapse against Victor, to feel his arms around him. The guilt edged in again.

“No!” Yuri cried, clawing at his head. “Just… just stay away from me!”

Yuri ducked past Victor, frozen with shock, and didn’t stop running until he was safely back in his own quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> So don't be too mad at random OC Sonders. Chris actually said something very relevant to what happened here. From the crew's perspective, those who don't know Yuri's history with anxiety anyway, he's seen as either self-deprecating or potentially condescending. Not to mention we only got a glimpse of the conversation here. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship makes it past the debris ring, but fallout from the conversation in Emil's office continues to plague Victor and Yuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more I'm just overwhelmed with the amount of love for this fic. Thank you all so much. 
> 
> Now onto business in case you missed it.
> 
> ###  **RATING CHANGE!**
> 
> Now no naughty stuff in this chapter, but there will be eventual smut. Eventual as in soon. This is still a plot driven story so I'm not going crazy with the naughty times, but they will be there. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Here’s the damage assessment,” Chris declared, strolling into Victor’s office and handing over a data pad. 

“How bad?” Victor asked, looking up from a report he’d been staring at but not reading for an hour. 

Chris shrugged. “The deflectors and shields took care of most of it. There is some hull damage on the port side.”

“Go on.”

Chris took his seat on the couch. “Mostly dents and dings. There were two small breaches. Those sections have been sealed off between the inner and outer hulls.”

Victor nodded. “Assign teams to repair the breaches. Don’t worry about cosmetic damage unless it appears that it’ll develop into something major. We’ll be here for a bit yet, and still need to make it back out. No sense in damaging morale by having the crew repair the same areas repeatedly.”

“Yes sir.” Chris paused. “Speaking of morale…”

Victor looked at him. “Yes?”

Chris sighed. “Yuri hasn’t been to astrophysics in three days. He’s only been to engineering once, and a cursory visit to medical for a checkup. Other than that the only time he’s been seen outside of his quarters is in the mess. Mila said he’s not even visiting the studio.”

Victor stood and strode to the window. He looked out at the stars surrounding the empty space that marked the black hole. 

“I could have Sonders reprimanded,” Chris suggested. 

“No,” Victor shook his head. “We’ve always had an open policy about sharing concerns with senior staff. You told me that Yuri’s tendency to be deferential was causing problems. We should have been proactive about it. Being reactive now would only send the wrong signal to the crew.”

“But…”

“No Chris!” Victor turned away from the window to look Chris in the eye. “Sonders’ only mistake was in not closing the door behind him when he went to talk to Emil. I will not reprimand somebody for something like that. Emil may be chief science officer, and technically in charge of the astrophysics lab since that’s his specialty. But he has other duties. Sonders is in charge of day-to-day operations of the lab. He raised what he thought was a legitimate concern about how it was operating. I will not silence nor punish those who are looking out for the wellbeing of this ship.”

Victor took a deep breath. “Besides… The damage has been done. Reprimanding Sonders won’t make Yuri feel better.”

“Ok,” Chris sighed. “We need to do something though. Go to him. Yurio said that it was Yuri who told him how to get through the debris field. Let him know how instrumental his help was.”

Victor returned to the desk, sat, and hung his head in his hands. “He doesn’t want to see me Chris.”

“Just cause he said…”

“It’s more than that,” Victor interrupted. “For the past three days, every time I see him in a corridor, or the mess, he runs. Maybe nobody else has seen him, but to me he’s everywhere. I actually started calling down to the mess before going there myself yesterday, because I didn’t want to cut his meal short again.”

“Apparently he’s been there a lot,” Chris said. “Chef said it appears to be a classic case of stress eating.”

“Do you begrudge him that?” Victor sighed, laying his forehead on the cool surface of the desk. “With everything he’s been through, a few extra portions seems a rather tame way of coping.”

“It’s not the food that’s the problem,” Chris countered. “It’s the isolation. Somebody needs to reach him.”

“That somebody isn’t me.”

* * *

 

Yuri paced in his quarters. 

Despite everything, he needed to know. The scientist in him still demanded that he learn about the black hole, it was the reason he was even there. 

He sighed, even if he hadn’t been intended to overhear, he had. Sonders had made it quite clear that he was a distraction at best in astrophysics. He couldn’t go back there. 

Then there was Victor. Even when Yuri mostly hid in his room the other man seemed to be everywhere, and it took every bit of his determination to stay away. The draw of his embrace was strong with its promise of comfort. He wanted to melt against his chest, feel his warmth. 

Yuri sat on the bed and pulled his knees to his chest. He rested his forehead on top. Somehow staying away from Victor hurt more than anything else. 

“Is this how you felt Phichit?” Yuri cried. “Is this what it’s like to be in love when you can’t have it? Did I hurt you like this every day? I’m so sorry.”

Yuri flopped over, laying on his side, trying to force the thought of Victor from his mind. Instead he remembered waking up in his arms, remembered the soft pink of his lips in the light and how much he’d wanted to kiss them. He remembered dreams of more, feeling Victor’s hands on his skin, moaning into each others mouths. 

“Go away…” Yuri cried, clenching his fists against the sides of his head. “Please… I can’t.”

Tears were streaming down his cheeks when a communication chime sounded. For a moment he considered ignoring it, but stood when it echoed through the room again. He wiped away the tears and walked over to the panel.

“Yes?” he asked, pressing the button. 

“Yuri? This is Emil.”

Yuri bit his lip. “I’m not going down today.”

Emil sighed. “Will you at least come by my office? I promise Sonders won’t be here, it’ll be just you and I.”

Yuri looked at the door to his quarters, the thing that kept him safe. He chewed on his lip some more. “I….”

“Please.”

Yuri sighed. “Ok. Fifteen minutes?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

Yuri went to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face, but knew it would do little to hide how bloodshot his eyes were. He scowled as he ran a comb through his hair, then made his way to the corridor. 

Yuri kept his head down as he walked toward the lift, trying not to be any more a burden or distraction to the crew. A few minutes later he stood outside Emil’s office. He waited out of sight for a couple minutes, then headed in. 

Yuri knocked on the doorframe as he entered. 

Emil looked up and smiled. “Come in Yuri. If it makes you more comfortable you can close the door.”

Yuri nodded and touched the button on the panel. The door swished shut behind him. 

“Have a seat,” Emil said, gesturing to an empty chair. “Can I get you anything? Water? Tea?”

Yuri shook his head. “No thank you.” His eyes were drawn to a ding on the edge of the desk. He stared at it rather than meet Emil’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry Yuri.”

Yuri shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s right. I’m… My skills aren’t relevant anymore.”

“That’s not true Yuri. The only difference I see between you and the rest of the people in that lab is that you’re not trained on the equipment. You can learn how to use the machines. You’ll probably even find that they’re not so different from what you’re used to.”

“What about the advancements in theory, in how the field has developed? It’s not just the equipment. You have a lab full of brilliant people, and I’m a century out of date.”

“You wrote half the equations we use. Almost all of the advancements are based on your theories. You’re not as behind as you seem to think.”

Yuri shook his head. “I am though.”

Emil sighed. “Look. I’m not going to try and force you back into the lab. It’s your decision. But I want you to know Sonders was wrong.”

“No he wasn’t.”

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. 

“My invitation stands,” Emil finally said. “Whenever you’re ready to come back, the lab will welcome you, in whatever capacity you want to be.”

“Thank you.”

A rustling noise. Then Emil’s legs blocked Yuri’s view of the ding on the desk. “Look at me Yuri.”

Yuri sighed and looked up.

“What do you want?” Emil asked. 

_ Victor, _ Yuri’s mind suggested immediately. He sighed. “I… I just want to know.”

“About the black hole?”

Yuri nodded. 

“That’s hard to do when you’re avoiding the lab.”

Yuri chewed his lip. “Is… is there any way that I can get a copy of the data in my quarters?”

Emil stroked his chin for a few seconds, the scratching of the stubble somehow loud in the small room. “I’ll have to double check with Chris. But I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

“Really?” Yuri asked. 

Emil nodded. “One of us will let you know later today.”

“Thank you.”

Emil smiled. “Just don’t be a stranger, ok? I know you’re probably not ready, but I really do think you could make a place for yourself in the lab if you wanted to.”

Yuri chewed his lip again. “Thank you.”

Emil squeezed Yuri’s shoulder. “I have to head over to astrometrics. They’re working with astrophysics and stellar cartography to chart some of the things you spotted on the way out.”

Yuri nodded. 

Emil sighed. “You should come. You might be able to answer questions.”

Yuri shook his head. “I didn’t take the readings on those. I wouldn’t be able to add anything.”

Emil patted Yuri’s shoulder again.  “If you change your mind, they’re on the port side.”

Yuri smiled weakly. “Thanks, but I think I’ll head back to my room now.”

Emil nodded. “Thanks for coming down at least. I’ll talk to Chris as soon as my meeting in astrometrics is over.”

Yuri nodded in reply and stood. “Thanks,” he mumbled as he thumbed the panel to open the door.

* * *

 

Yuri was laying on his bed, arm flopped over his eyes, doing his best not to think about Victor. 

The door chime sounded. 

“Who is it?” Yuri asked, not bothering to get up. 

“It’s Chris.”

Yuri sighed and stood. He padded to the door and thumbed the panel to open it. 

“That was fast,” he said, looking up at the other man. 

“Hmm?” Chris asked. “What was fast?”

Yuri blinked. “Aren’t you here about my request to Emil?”

Chris shook his head. “I haven’t talked to him today. We had a meeting scheduled, but something in astrometrics ran long and he had to push it back a few hours. I’m on my way down now. What was the request?”

“Oh… um…” Yuri scratched the back of his neck. “I… I was hoping to be able to look at the data from the black hole here.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to go down to astrophysics?”

“Yes… but…” Yuri looked at the floor. 

“I see…” Chris replied. “I see no harm in it. I’ll let Emil know when I see him.”

“Thank you,” Yuri mumbled, then paused. “Wait… if you aren’t here to tell me what you’d decided about my request to see the data… why are you here?”

“Oh yeah!” Chris laughed. “I came by to bring you this.” He held out a data pad. 

Yuri took the pad. “What is it?”

“Archives came across it while they were going through crew logs from your ship. It’s a letter, addressed to you.”

“A letter?” Yuri asked. Then he felt the blood drain from his face, he remembered the last request Phichit had made of him. “It’s from Phichit… isn’t it?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper and choked with emotion. 

Chris nodded. “It is.”

Yuri was numb “Thank you.”

Chris hovered in the doorway for a moment, obviously studying Yuri, then sighed. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

Yuri nodded. “Thank you,” he repeated.

Chris reached out and squeezed Yuri’s shoulder. He then headed in the direction of the lifts. 

Yuri padded over to his bed and curled up on it. He lost track of time staring at the data pad, wondering what his dead husband had to say. 

Finally he reached out, picked it up and started to read. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> I know everybody is looking forward to the letter. Don't worry, next chapter.
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri finally receives the letter from Phichit, and everything changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please stay seated and keep your hands inside the roller-coaster at all times. 
> 
> I think after you're done with this chapter the reason the letter wasn't revealed in the last chapter will make more sense. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Yuri read the letter, over and over, tears threatening to spill more with each word. Hours passed as Phichit’s message ate into him.

He’d messed up. Phichit had made a clear request in his dying words at the airlock, and Yuri had cast them aside in his guilt. The one thing Phichit had wanted for him, he’d turned his back on. 

His room was too small; the guilt too great. 

Yuri stood, pad dangling from his fingers. He sought out the one place where absolution was possible.

Though he knew better, a small part of him hoped it wasn’t too late.

* * *

 

“I thought I’d find you here,” Chris said as he walked into Victor’s office. 

“Where else would I be?” Victor replied, barely looking up from the profiles of the people that would be brought on with the crew rotation. 

“Ideally? Relaxing,” Chris replied. “Your shift ended so long ago that Georgi will be coming on in a couple hours.”

“I’m the captain. I’m always on duty.”

“A captain who’s dead on his feet isn’t much use you know.”

Victor sighed, looked up just long enough to glare at his friend then turned his attention back to the profiles. “What do you want Chris?”

Chris frowned. “Go to him Victor. You know you want to.”

Victor shook his head and didn’t look up. “I think he’s made it pretty clear. He wants nothing to do with me.”

“Do you really believe that? He’s miserable.”

“Well if screaming at me to leave him alone wasn’t enough of a clue, the literal running away sure is one.”

“We both know he has feelings for you,” Chris countered. “And with the trauma he’s facing it was bound to be problematic.”

“I’d say the trauma won then.”

A beat of silence passed between them. 

“Chef called,” Chris said. “Yuri’s been in the window in the mess for the past hour. Crying. Go to him.”

Victor slammed his hands on his desk, standing. “I can’t! Look Chris, he made it clear. He doesn’t want to see me. The only thing I can do is try to honor that until we drop him off at station one-four-two.”

Chris sighed, strode over to the desk and tossed a data pad onto it where it clattered to a standstill.  

“What’s this?” Victor asked, picking up the pad. 

“Read it.”

“What is it?”

Chris ran a hand through his hair. “Archives found it this afternoon while going through the MIchele’s crew logs. It’s a letter… to Yuri.”

“Then take it to him.” Victor said, sliding the pad back across the table. 

“I already did.”

“Then why show it to me?”

“Because you need to read it.”

“It’s for him. I have nothing to do with it,” Victor countered, pointedly sitting and turning his attention back to the profiles on his screen. 

“It’s from his husband.”

Victor froze. 

“You have to go to him Victor. Now! You’ll lose him forever if you don’t.”

“You read it?” Victor accused. 

Chris sighed. “The person in archives who found it needed to know what to do. It’s part of the historical record, but intended for a living person. I had to know what it says. As of this afternoon I’ve marked it as private. The only people who’ve read it are the archivist, myself, and Yuri.”

“Then two more than necessary.”

Chris slammed his palms down on Victor’s desk, making Victor jump. “Goddamnit Victor! Listen to me! You want to be with him, don’t you?”

Victor stood to return Chris’s aggressive stance. “You know I do!”

“Then read the damn letter!”

“No! I won’t read it without his permission.”

“Then go to him! He’s waiting… for you!”

Victor blinked several times before straightening somewhat. “What?”

“Think about it!” Chris yelled. “Where did the two of you meet? Where did you keep returning to? Why is he crying in the mess rather than in his room? That place means something to him, to both of you! How long will you make him wait?”

“I…”

“If you don’t go now, it says that he really did drive you away. If you want him, you have to go. Don’t let him slip away from you Victor.”

“I can’t Chris,” Victor whispered. “I can’t bear to watch him run away again.”

“He won’t run. Not this time.”

“How can you be sure?”

Chris tapped the data pad.

“The letter?”

Chris nodded. 

Victor sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Go,” Chris repeated. “Once he leaves there it’ll be too late, and you know it.”

“Ok…” Victor whispered, surprised at his own voice. He opened his eyes and straightened his back. “Ok, but if you’re wrong…”

“I’m not. Now go before he gives up on you.”

Victor stumbled from behind his desk as if in a daze, thoughts swirled in his head. He caught himself just on the doorframe, forced himself to focus on walking, just walking, and strode toward the lift. 

_ Yuri… please Yuri. Please be there. Talk to me. Stay with me. _

The lift doors opened on deck ten, and Victor couldn’t control the tremble in his hands as he walked toward the mess. 

_ One foot in front of the other. Back straight. You’re still the captain. _

His feet took him to the doors of the mess far too fast. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. He was a man of action and he didn’t know what action to take.

The doors opened, and all he could see was Yuri. His arms were draped over his raised knees, head down, shoulders shaking as he cried. 

Victor’s heart ached, but he waited. 

The door swished shut behind him, and Yuri looked up, startled at the noise. 

“Victor…”

Yuri made no sign of moving, of running away. Victor chanced a few steps closer. “Please… don’t run.”

Yuri’s fingers tightened on a data pad dangling from his hand, but he didn’t move from his place on the bench. 

Victor approached slowly, as if Yuri were a wounded animal that could bolt at any second. Eventually he managed to sit on the bench, facing the other man. 

“Chris said you were here…” Victor started. 

Yuri sniffed and wiped away tears. Victor couldn’t miss how red his eyes were. He reached out to touch Yuri’s cheek, thought better of it, then retrieved a handkerchief from his uniform jacket and handed it over. 

Yuri smiled so sadly as he took the square of cloth that Victor’s heart almost broke. “Thank you,” he whispered. He wiped the tears away, and clung to the handkerchief as if it were a life preserver. 

Victor couldn’t help himself. He reached out and took the other hand, clasping it between his own. “Chris… Chris said you got a letter…”

Yuri nodded.

“From Phichit…”

Yuri sniffled and nodded again. 

“Tell me about him.”

“What?”

Victor didn’t know where it had come from either, but he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. “Tell me about him, about the two of you. Tell me the good, and the bad. Tell me because I want to know you, and to do that I need to know him too.”

Yuri’s lip quivered, and fresh tears slid down his cheeks, but he nodded. He chewed on his bottom lip and turned to look out the window. 

“I… I met Phichit in college,” Yuri began, voice wavering. “Believe it or not, back then we were both figure skaters under the same coach. It was my other passion, before I was injured and couldn’t compete any longer.”

Yuri wiped at the tears with the handkerchief, but his voice was stronger when he started again. “We were instant friends. Somehow Phichit just understood me. He was always able to cut through my anxiety with a joke or even a few words. Within a year of meeting we were roommates.” 

Yuri paused again. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Phichit… After… after the injury I considered going back to Japan. What was the point of staying away from home for a figure skating coach if I wasn’t skating? But… he reminded me of all the little things: How hard I’d worked to get into the astrophysics program at the school of my dreams. How there was more to me than just skating. He reminded me of how much he’d miss me.

“So I stayed. Phichit kept training while studying to be a starship engineer, and I plunged into my astrophysics studies.” Yuri smiled. “We met the captain… Celestino… back then too. He was a former figure skater who sometimes practiced at the same rink. He had taken on work running freight between Earth and Alpha Centauri after he’d retired and stopped performing in shows. He met my previous ballet instructor, Minako, when she was in Detroit visiting one summer, and they were married within months.”

Yuri paused again, looked at Victor, then out at the stars. “Somehow Phichit always kept me held together, even when I thought I’d fly apart at the seams.”

Victor ran his thumbs over Yuri’s knuckles, silently encouraging the other man to continue. 

“We’d both just graduated when the mission was announced,” Yuri said. “I’d received my doctorate, and Phichit a Master’s. We were young, and eager. But… then the requirements were posted, and we were both still single without even a glimmer of romance.”

Yuri chewed his lip. “It… it was supposed to be a marriage of convenience. We didn’t even hide that fact, and we weren’t the only ones. Several applicants were in similar situations. But we were the only such couple that made it through to the final mission. 

“It seemed such a reasonable solution at the time… After a few drunken mishaps and bad breakups we’d discovered we were good in bed. We’d already lived together as roommates for several years at that point and knew each other’s quirks. What was marriage except one more step? Especially when it was what we both needed to get on the mission.  

“It was supposed to be convenient. We weren’t supposed to fall in love…”

Victor squeezed Yuri’s hand in silent support. 

“I should have seen it sooner,” Yuri said, lips quivering again. “The signs were there. He wanted to cuddle longer after sex, the playful hugs turned meaningful. I… I thought it was just how things would be. We were in a confined space, far from our fellow humans, and under a lot of stress. Who wouldn’t get closer?”

“He fell in love, didn’t he?” Victor ventured. 

Yuri nodded, and fresh tears fell. 

“And you didn’t…” Victor guessed. 

Yuri nodded harder. “Phichit…”

Yuri stopped to blow his nose, then continued. “He confessed a couple weeks after we passed the farthest communication buoy. All I could do was stare. He was my best friend. He was my husband. But… I didn’t love him in a romantic sense.”

Yuri retrieved his hand from Victor’s to clench his fist. “He… apologized, actually apologized. He said it made things complicated. He said he knew I didn’t share his feelings.”

Victor reached out and took Yuri’s hand again. A part of him knew that he needed to be Yuri’s support right then. 

“Even though I didn’t love him, he never held it against me. And for a while we tried to make it work like that… But… every time I saw that  _ look _ in his eyes. The one that wanted what he knew he couldn’t have, the one that hoped that it might be the day I’d truly love him back…”

Yuri leaned his head against the glass, eyes watching the stars. “We’d finally made it here, and everybody was excited. There was a party to celebrate and Celestino brought out the champagne. We were all a bit tipsy, and a lot worked up from the emotion of it all.”

Yuri paused again. “After Phichit confessed we only had sex a handful of times. We still shared the same bed, because there wasn’t really another option, but the guilt ate at me, like I was giving him false hope. 

“It had been close to a year since we’d last had sex at that point. And after the party it just happened. It felt so natural to fall into bed with him like I had so many times before. But then he said he loved me.”

Yuri shook his head. “He was almost asleep. I don’t think he even realized he’d done it. But the guilt came crashing back. I was leading him on, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I went to Celestino and had my schedule changed so that Phichit and I were on different shifts, so that even though we shared a bed, we wouldn’t be sleeping in it at the same time.”

Fresh tears coursed down Yuri’s cheeks, and Victor wanted to kiss them away. 

“I hurt him so bad Victor. The sadness never left his eyes after that, but I couldn’t… I didn’t love him as anything more than a friend. I thought it was better to put space between us than continue as we had been.”

“Phichit!” Yuri wailed, and Victor’s heart broke again. 

Yuri cried for several minutes, and Victor held his hand until the sobs slowed. 

“I hurt him so bad,” Yuri said again. “And yet, he forgave me.”

“Of course he did,” Victor said. “You said it yourself. He loved you.”

Yuri turned his brown eyes to Victor, red and brimming with tears, and Victor saw the guilt clearly, the reason that Yuri had run over and over. 

Yuri looked away, and picked up the data pad that had fallen from his fingers onto the bench. He held it out. “Read it.”

Victor took the pad. “Are you sure?”

Yuri nodded. “I think… I think he’d want you to.”

Victor reached out and squeezed Yuri’s hand. “Ok.” He turned to the words on the pad. 

> _ My Dearest Yuri,  _
> 
> _ Man, I just got started and that already sounds corny, but I’m not taking it back because I have no other clue how to start this.  _
> 
> _ And you are dear to me. You’re closer to my heart than anybody has ever been.  _
> 
> _ If you’re reading this, that means I’m dead… and you’re not.  _
> 
> _ And if you’re not Yuri? GO AWAY! SHOO! THIS IS A PRIVATE LETTER FROM ONE HUSBAND TO ANOTHER! _

Victor couldn’t help but chuckle at the fun-loving attitude that was conveyed in so few words. 

> _ Yuri, as much as time as we had together, know it was never enough. Your smile, your laugh, your gentle presence. I was addicted to all of them. Every second with you was pure bliss.  _
> 
> _ A part of me was probably in love with you from the start, and it grew. Even though I didn’t know why at the time, the day we were married was the happiest of my life. I think I passed it off as joy at being able to qualify for the mission, or just embarking on a new adventure with my best friend. But that part of me that loves you knew, knew that you would never betray your promises. That for as long as we were married, you were mine.  _
> 
> _ And oh Yuri. I did have fun. In the good times and the bad, I had fun through all of it, because I was with you. Like that time when we barely slept for three days, until we were both so tired you blurted the reason why after nearly falling asleep in your soup and JJ gave you hell for it… _
> 
> _ “Maybe I’d have the energy to eat my soup if you’d tone it down when giving Izzy the JJ special every night!” you screamed.  _
> 
> _ Oh the look on JJ’s face was priceless. You were mortified, but the rest of us teased JJ for weeks after that.  _
> 
> _ We were both so exhausted that we were miserable, but your blunt side came out and it was all better.  _
> 
> _ I remember them all Yuri, and every moment is precious to me.  _
> 
> _ I won’t lie, the greedy part of me hopes that you’ll always be mine and mine alone. But the part of me that loves you, the part that really loves you wants nothing but your happiness.  _
> 
> _ Yuri… I want you to move on. You gave me the happiest years of my life, and I don’t regret a moment of it. Now I want you to have that same happiness for the rest of yours.  _
> 
> _ I… I think I knew when you asked Celestino for a shift change two weeks ago. Something in me said that I wouldn’t make it back to Earth, that I wouldn’t have to face the probability of a divorce.  _
> 
> _ Right now only one pod is separate from the system. If there’s a problem only that one will escape.  _
> 
> _ I asked Celestino that you be on it. Really, you make the most sense. I can’t imagine anybody else facing a lifetime away from their partners. I can’t imagine my life without you. But you, you deserve the happiness you have yet to find.  _
> 
> _ If I can, I’ll try to tell you to your face, but if not… Be happy Yuri. For yourself… for me. I know there is somebody out there who you will love as completely as I love you. Don’t let your guilt destroy your chance of happiness.  _
> 
> _ I know you Yuri. I know your anxiety, I know your loyalty… I know your guilt. I know you never forgave yourself for being unable to return my love. I know how that will eat at you.  _
> 
> _ I forgive you Yuri. I love you, and I forgive you. Love isn’t a switch that can be turned on and off.  _
> 
> _ I know you. That loyal part of you that will try to convince you that you’re dishonoring your vows if you find someone, if you fall in love.  _
> 
> _ Remember my love. Our vows were only until we were parted by death. If you’re reading this, then death has indeed parted us.  _
> 
> _ You upheld your vows.  _
> 
> _ My dream was to live with you, to be with you, for the rest of my life.  _
> 
> _ You gave me that Yuri. You made my dream come true. Even if it’s fraught at the end, I know you’ve remained loyal. You’re still the same man who’s honored his vows all these years.  _
> 
> _ Now grant me my final request. Be happy. Find love for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for falling in love. Don’t feel like you’ve betrayed me, because this is what I want for you.  _
> 
> _ The only way you can betray me is to lead a meaningless life. You have so much to offer. You’re brilliant, and you have so much love to give. Don’t let it go to waste.  _
> 
> _ I hope this letter reaches you before it’s too late. Please I pray don’t let it be too late. Don’t push away your happiness from guilt, don’t let vows that you upheld prevent you from moving forward now that they’ve been seen through.  _
> 
> _ Whether a day, a year, or a decade, it doesn’t matter Yuri. It’s never too soon for you to find love and happiness. You gave me everything I wanted. You gave me your time, and I dare not take a second more when time is so precious.  _
> 
> _ Live Yuri. Live as you were meant to. My happiness exists in your smile, in your laughter and a part of me will always live within you.  _
> 
> _ I love you.  _
> 
> _ Forever Yours,  _
> 
> _ Phichit Chulanont _

Victor read the letter a second time before putting the pad aside. He looked at Yuri and saw that he’d started to cry again. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuri babbled. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yuri…”

Yuri shook his head. “I know you can never forgive me. I hurt you… I pushed you away. I destroyed any chance of us.”

Victor was moving before he even realized it. 

“I’m so sor…”

The rest of the word was cut off as Victor pressed their lips together. 

Yuri’s eyes were wide as Victor moved back, unblinking… staring. 

“I’m sorry,” Victor said, suddenly afraid that he’d done the wrong thing. “I wasn’t thinking… I…”

“Don’t stop,” Yuri interrupted, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes again. 

“What?” 

“Please… Don’t stop.”

Victor wanted, everything in him wanted to capture those lips again and never let go. But days of watching Yuri run made him pause. 

“Don’t play with my heart Yuri.”

“Please…”

Victor couldn’t hold back. One hand traced along Yuri’s cheek, angling his face for a deeper kiss, then they came together again. 

Victor kept one hand on Yuri’s cheek while the other arm slung low around his waist to keep him close. Yuri’s hands bunched in Victor’s jacket. 

They breathed from each other’s mouths, tongues dancing between them. Victor was lost in the sweetness of Yuri’s lips, the slight chap from how he constantly chewed on them. He marveled at the softness of the man in his arms. 

They chased the kisses as they came up for air, neither wanting to part for even a second. 

“Yuri… Yuri…” Victor murmured as he finally broke free of Yuri’s lips to kiss along his jaw and down to his neck. 

“Don’t stop,” Yuri repeated like a mantra. 

“Never,” Victor replied before returning to the sweetness of Yuri’s mouth. 

Time stopped. It was just him and Yuri, lost in each other’s kisses with the stars looking on. 

A pan clattered to the floor in the kitchen and both Victor and Yuri jumped, suddenly remembering where they were. 

They looked at each other, breathing heavily as they caught their breaths. 

“Maybe we should take this elsewhere…” Victor asked before leaning in again to plant another soft kiss on Yuri’s lips. 

Yuri kissed him back then nodded. “Yeah…”

“Your room or mine?”

Another kiss.

“Yours,” Yuri answered with another kiss. “I don’t have lube.”

Victor put just enough room between them to look Yuri in the eyes. “Are you sure? I want you to be ready. I’ll never rush you.”

Yuri nodded, and pulled Victor down for another kiss. “Please, just don’t stop.”

They traded several more kisses before Yuri finally stood. Then another before Victor could lead him out of the mess and to the lift. 

“Deck three,” Victor said as they entered the empty lift, pulling Yuri into his arms for another series of kisses as it ascended. 

Victor was like a man in the desert. He wasn’t sure if Yuri was an oasis or a mirage, and he dared not stop in case it was the latter. 

They stumbled through the empty corridor, stopping every few meters to kiss, before finally making it into Victor’s quarters. As soon as the door swished shut behind them Victor wrapped his arms low around Yuri’s waist and pulled him close, dipping his head to resume kissing the other man. 

Yuri clasped his hands at the back of Victor’s neck and held firm, keeping Victor from pulling back from the kiss. 

Victor was lost in Yuri’s kisses when Yuri ground his erection against him. Victor gasped and broke the kiss. 

“Are you sure?” Victor repeated. 

“Make me feel alive again,” Yuri replied, looking him in the eye. The gaze was unwavering. 

Victor leaned in again to resume kissing along Yuri’s jaw. “Are you more a top or bottom?”

“Switch,” Yuri gasped when Victor’s teeth grazed his ear. 

Victor moaned, his own cock giving up the fight and hardening. “Could you be any more perfect?”

Yuri moaned in response and ground harder. 

“What do you want tonight?” Victor asked. 

“Take me,” Yuri begged. 

“Anything for you.”

They shed clothes as they stumbled toward the bed. Yuri fell back onto the plush surface, and Victor followed, peppering kisses across Yuri’s chest and shoulders. Their cocks slid against each others as Victor moved back up to continue licking kisses into Yuri’s waiting mouth. 

“Please Victor…” Yuri moaned, breaking off the kiss. 

Victor nodded, reaching over to the drawer beside his bed and fumbling blindly until he found the tube of lube, new. There because as a captain he had learned to be prepared for anything. 

Victor opened the lube and kissed down Yuri’s chest again. His cock somehow got even harder as his lips traced the slightest bit of softness at Yuri’s middle, he groaned with lust. 

“Please…” Yuri repeated, and Victor was unable to refuse. He took Yuri’s cock in his mouth while his fingers traced his entrance. 

Victor moaned at the flavor of Yuri in his mouth, shivered with the knowledge that the sounds coming from the other man were because of him. He opened him quickly but carefully. Soon he had three fingers inside and licked away every drop of pre-cum as it gathered in the tip of Yuri’s cock.

“Please,” Yuri begged again. “I need you..”

Victor pulled his fingers free and spread lube on his cock as he crawled back up the bed. He captured Yuri’s lips in another kiss and felt the shift in the mattress as Yuri angled his hips up. He guided his cock to Yuri’s entrance, and pushed in. 

Yuri’s back arched and he gasped. 

Victor paused. “Are you ok?”

“Please,” Yuri begged. “Don’t stop.”

Victor lost himself in Yuri’s lips again, and in the depths of his chocolate eyes as he pushed in. Yuri shuddered in pleasure, moaning Victor’s name every time they parted to breathe. 

Then he was inside. The oasis was real, and was sweeter than he’d imagined. He paused, waiting for Yuri to be ready. 

Several heated kisses passed between them before Yuri’s hips started moving, seeking more, and Victor was more than willing to give it to him. He pulled almost all the way out, then pushed back in slowly, relishing the way Yuri’s body reacted. 

Victor set a slow and steady rhythm. He rocked into Yuri, and kissed him. He was a man parched of love and was determined to experience every nuance of the perfection that had been presented. 

They moved together, stealing the breath from each others mouths, leaving marks on necks and chests. Yuri begged for Victor to never stop, and Victor was unable to even if he’d wanted to. 

Yuri clawed at Victor’s back, heels dug into his ass, begging for more, harder. 

Victor’s speed increased. The perfect bliss of being with Yuri was on the horizon and he was so close. He slid a hand between them and started stroking Yuri’s cock as he moved. 

“Victor!” Yuri cried. “Please… I’m so close.”

“Me too Yuri,” Victor replied, sucking a new mark onto his neck, “Me too. Don’t hold back.”

Yuri cried out as he came, fingernails digging almost painfully into Victor’s shoulders. Warmth bloomed between them, and as soon as Yuri’s muscles tightened around him Victor was gone as well. He thrust hard and deep, spilling inside while Yuri was still orgasming around him. 

Yuri pulled him down into another series of kisses as they came down from the high, and Victor allowed himself to drown in the bliss. 

He was with Yuri. After all the heartache, after all the running, Yuri was there, in that moment. 

He had so much he wanted to say, but he knew it would take time. He would wait. 

Victor kissed Yuri as he pulled out. 

Exhaustion was written on Yuri’s face as Victor cleaned them both, and he was nearly asleep when Victor slid under the covers next to him. 

Victor pulled Yuri into his arms and kissed his hair. He held him until he fell asleep. 

“Computer,” Victor said softly. “Turn off the lights.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Everybody ok? Nobody lost any limbs on the roller coaster? What a ride, right?
> 
> Anyway, still more to come. I know where the story is headed and they've still got a bit more to get through, but progress!
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor wakes to find Yuri in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for a bit of fluff after all that angst? Featuring sleepy morning Yuri mumbling in Japanese and without a filter.
> 
> Also, thanks again for all the love on this fic. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor’s eyes opened slowly; body knowing that his alarm would sound in a few minutes. There was warmth on his chest. He looked down to see Yuri curled against him, head on his arm. 

Victor smiled and reached with his free hand to brush a few strands of hair from Yuri’s face. He was peaceful, face calm and lips parted. In a way he was reminded of that first time seeing him in the medical bay.

Victor wondered what he’d look like with sunlight streaming through the windows instead of under the artificial cabin light. His smile widened as he thought about it, excited for the next planet they set orbit around. 

Victor tried to wriggle free so that he could prepare for his shift, but as soon as he moved Yuri grumbled sleepily and followed. 

Victor chuckled. 

_ Chris is always telling me I need to relax, and I’ve not taken time for myself in a while.  _

Victor shifted just enough to hit the communication panel next to the bed. “Captain to the bridge,” he said softly so as not to wake Yuri. 

“Yes Captain?” Georgi asked. 

“Let Chris know I’ll be coming on a bit late this morning.”

“Aye sir, any reason we should give?”

“Let him know… I’m taking some time for myself.”

“Aye Captain, enjoy.”

“Thank you.”

Victor turned back to Yuri and tucked him into his embrace. A part of him was still worried that Yuri would wake up and bolt again. The he remembered how desperate he had been the previous night, as if all his bottled emotion had exploded out of him. 

Yuri roused slowly in his arms, nuzzling closer as sleep abandoned him. Finally Victor saw the beautiful brown of Yuri’s eyes. 

“Ohayou,” Yuri mumbled, soft smile on his face. 

Victor smiled and kissed Yuri’s forehead. “I’m assuming that means good morning. Good morning to you too.”

Yuri closed his eyes again and scooted close enough that Victor could smell his hair. Yuri’s fingers traced his chest. 

“Ī kaori ga shimasu ne,” Yuri mumbled into his chest. 

Victor blinked then nuzzled into Yuri’s hair. “What does that mean?”

Yuri shifted and Victor moved to see a blush creeping across his face. “You… smell nice.”

Victor grinned and made a point of sniffing Yuri’s hair. “So do you.”

Yuri snorted laughter before settling into a fit of giggles that practically sparkled. The sound sunk into Victor and made him feel light. He soon joined Yuri in laughter, holding him tight. 

They were almost over it when Yuri leaned in to obviously sniff at Victor’s chest, and they were both overcome with a second bout. 

Victor guided Yuri’s chin up as the laughter eased, pressing a kiss to his lips. Yuri immediately returned it, parting his lips in welcome. Victor took advantage of the invitation, tongue dipping into his mouth. 

Soft moans passed between them as they kissed, and to Victor each one felt as perfect as they had the night prior. Yuri was soft and warm in his arms and returning each kiss with a fervor Victor had never experienced before. 

“When does your shift start?” Yuri asked when they finally parted.

Victor lifted his head to look at a clock. “About twenty minutes ago.”

Yuri’s eyes widened. “I… I’m so sorry. I kept you from…”

Victor kissed him again to silence him. “Don’t worry,” Victor said as they separated. “I called to let them know that I’d be coming in late today.”

“Are you sure that’s ok?” Yuri asked, nervousness tinging his voice. 

Victor grinned. “It’s fine. I’m the captain, remember?”

Yuri smiled softly. “Ok.”

Victor leaned in to kiss him again, and melted when Yuri held him close, almost as if he were afraid to stop. 

“What do you want to do before I have to go on duty?” Victor murmured against Yuri’s lips. 

Yuri turned his eyes to meet Victor’s. “Shower and breakfast?”

“Is that all?”

Yuri smiled and nodded. 

“Ok. Do you want to shower separate, or together?”

“Together.”

Victor kissed him again. “Perfect.”

They climbed out of bed and Victor guided Yuri to the bathroom, careful of the clothes on the floor as they didn’t know which pile Yuri’s glasses had landed in. Soon they had resumed kissing bathed in the light of the shower. 

“Warm…” Yuri murmured between kisses. “Nice.”

“You like it?” Victor asked. 

Yuri nodded, turning his eyes up to Victor again. “Except for the weekly water shower, what we had on the Michell wasn’t refreshing.”

Victor blinked. “You didn’t have solar showers?

Yuri shook his head. “No. I don’t think they’d been invented yet. We had this horrible powder.”

“Oh?”

Yuri scrunched his nose. “You’d have to use a special glove to pat it on, then let it sit a few minutes. Then you’d… rinse… in a kind of sound booth. Sonic waves would supposedly bounce the powder back off, but they never got it all. So everybody had this slight buildup of powder until they could get to their allotted water shower.”

“You carried enough water for showers?”

Yuri shook his head. “We had some low-consumption equipment and backup systems that used fuel cells. We’d collect oxygen and hydrogen from the ambient space gases then run them through the cells. The output water was what we drank and showered in.”

“What happened when you couldn’t collect enough gas to make water?”

Yuri scowled. “Showers were cut. Luckily that only happened a few times.”

Victor chuckled and angled Yuri’s face up for a kiss. “I’m sorry we don’t have water showers in every room, but the solar showers seem to work just fine. We do have a few water showers spread between the habitation decks, but you need to schedule a time a day or so in advance.”

Yuri shook his head and smiled. “As long as I feel clean without powder I’m happy. Also, these are warm and nice.”

“Good for the skin too,” Victor added. 

Yuri blushed. “Sara gave me such a weird look when I asked about vitamin D supplements. I was so used to an array of vitamins and supplements every day to replace what we weren’t getting naturally, I still look for the dose cart in the mess.”

Victor smiled and pulled Yuri close, running his hands over Yuri’s cheek. “I think I prefer the solar shower to supplements.”

Yuri laughed. “Me too.”

They kissed for a moment before Victor turned Yuri around and had them stand back-to-back so that the light could reach the other side. 

Yuri stretched as they stepped out into the main room again, and Victor couldn’t help but admire the lines of his body. Even though he had the touch of softness around his middle he was lean and had a beautiful strength about him. 

“What?” Yuri asked, blush dusting his cheeks when he caught Victor staring. 

Victor grinned and walked over to wrap his arms around the other man. “Just admiring how beautiful you are.”

Yuri’s blush deepened and he hid his face in Victor’s chest. “You can’t just say things like that!”

Victor laughed and ran his hand up and down Yuri’s back. “Hate to break it to you, but I’m the captain of this ship, and I say I can.”

“That’s an abuse of power,” Yuri joked, eyes sparkling. 

Victor dipped his head to kiss him. “Are you planning to file a complaint?”

Yuri put on a thoughtful face. “Not this time, but don’t make a habit of it… captain.”

Victor laughed again, then looked over to the piles of clothes. “Did enough people see you yesterday to know you’re doing the walk of shame?”

“Is if far enough between your quarters and mine for people to care?” Yuri teased.

“Point,” Victor acceded. “But I thought you wanted breakfast.”

Yuri scowled. “Maybe I should stop at my quarters first…”

“Or I can call a steward to bring something up.”

Yuri shook his head. “I’d hate to be a bother.”

Victor smiled, leaned in and brushed his thumb over Yuri’s cheek. “It’s not a bother, trust me. They often deliver to my office on the bridge, and to here in the mornings. I usually only take my meals in the mess in the evenings, and only then if I’m not working.”

“Ok,” Yuri replied with a soft smile. 

Victor kissed him again before stepping back. “Let’s get dressed, then I’ll call down. They’re usually pretty quick so I don’t want to be caught with only half my clothes on.”

Victor headed to the nearest pile of clothes and separated his from Yuri’s, while Yuri headed to a different pile. 

“I found your glasses!” Victor proclaimed in what appeared to be the shirt pile. He stood and carried them over. Yuri accepted them gratefully and slid them on. 

“That’s better,” Yuri sighed, then smiled up at Victor. “You’re even better looking when not blurry.”

Victor blinked several times, then burst into laughter. He swept Yuri into his arms again for another series of kisses. 

Soon they were dressed and seated at the small table in Victor’s quarters, eating breakfast. 

“What are your plans for the day?” Victor asked between bites. 

Yuri chewed his lip for a moment. “Chris approved my request to look at the data from the black hole in my quarters. I’ve missed several days, and I want to catch up and compare it to the readings we took on the Michell.”

Victor held back a sigh. “You can go back to astrophysics you know. You don’t have to coop yourself up in your room.”

Yuri shook his head. “No… Sonders was right. I’m… I’m not cut out for this anymore. The theories and the technology have both moved on. I just want to satisfy my own curiosity now. I can do that from my own room.”

Victor sighed, unable to hold it back. “From what Emil says, the only thing you lack is training on the equipment.”

Yuri looked to the table. “It’s more than that…”

Victor reached across and placed his hand over Yuri’s. “I won’t push. I know with everything else it’s probably still raw. But please, don’t discount yourself Yuri. If my crew tells me something, I believe them. They’ve earned my trust, and you’ve earned theirs. If Emil says you can, then you can.”

Yuri sighed, looked up and smiled softly. “What do you have planned?”

Victor knew Yuri was changing the subject, but he smiled in return. “Busy day. Now that we’re past the debris ring there’s a lot to do. Chris and I have a meeting with stellar cartography and astrometrics this afternoon to discuss circumnavigating the black hole. I have follow-up appointments with Sara and the people down in chemistry to discuss their results from the data we’ve gathered, and I have weekly reports to approve and send to headquarters.”

“Sorry for keeping you…” Yuri said, chewing his lip and looking down at the table again. 

“You didn’t keep me Yuri. I stayed because I wanted to. Now… can I see you again tonight?”

Yuri looked back to VIctor’s face, insecurity written across his features. “Are… are you sure you want to see me again?”

Victor nodded. “Positive.”

A blush crept across Yuri’s cheeks and Victor wanted to kiss it and make it spread farther. “Oh… ok.”

Victor grinned. “Twenty-one hundred? Usual place?”

Yuri nodded. “Ok.”

They finished, and Victor pulled Yuri close for several more deep kisses before they separated for the day.

* * *

 

The heat of Victor’s kisses lingered on Yuri’s lips as he made his way to his quarters. A pleasant soreness suffused through him, a reminder that it had been some time since he’d had sex. 

He felt good. 

Victor was there, he was real, and he made Yuri feel alive. Just being with him lessened the pain and reminded him that there was still a life to live. 

Yuri stepped into his dimmed quarters, and somehow the brightness of Victor’s smile was stripped away. The small butsudan sat against one wall, a shrine to what Yuri had lost. Sonders’ words echoed in his head.

He sighed. No matter what Victor said, he was a century out of date. He knew it was something that would become only more apparent with time. 

He wondered how long until the beautiful captain tired of him. 

Surely a man that good looking had lovers at every spaceport. The lube in his room proved that he was ready for sex. Yuri was likely just a fling until he could be dropped off and returned to Earth. 

Yuri sat down at the terminal and called up the latest readings alongside those from the Michell’s archives. He hung his head as he waited. 

He knew he couldn’t keep Victor to himself. 

“Please,” he asked the empty room. “Just give me as much time with him as possible.”

* * *

 

Victor couldn’t stop smiling as he strode onto the bridge. 

“Good morning Chris!”

Chris turned and grinned at Victor. “Good morning sir.”

“Anything to report?”

“Repairs are completed on those breaches, and Parsons is finally over his bug and back on duty.”

“Fantastic! Anything need my immediate attention?”

“No sir.”

“Great! I’ll be going over the weekly reports in my office.”

Victor was almost to his office when he paused. “Oh, and Chris?”

“Yes sir?”

“Make a general announcement for everybody to get any individual requisitions into the quartermaster by the end of the week. I want to have our resupply order transmitted before we leave here so they’re not rushing for us.”

“Aye sir.”

Victor strode into his office and pulled up the latest request transmission from scientists on Earth. Fleet chemists asked for more samples of the gas, and especially the rocks of it. Multiple departments were eager for any news of what was on the other side. 

Victor was compiling all the requests into the points he’d have to present to staff when Chris walked in. 

“I knew things would go well,” Chris said, flopping onto the couch. “But I didn’t expect you to hit one out of the park!”

“Chris!”

Chris laughed, stood and walked over to Victor’s desk. He perched himself on the edge. “Can’t hide it from me Victor. I know the self-satisfied walk of somebody who’s had sex at a glance, and every step you’re taking today screams of a good night.”

Victor groaned. “Is it that obvious?”

Chris laughed again. “To me it is.” 

Chris clapped Victor on the back, and Victor hissed in a breath as the hit stung where Yuri had clawed at him. 

“Oh-ho!” Chris teased. “Even better than I thought. You owe me one.”

Victor sighed contentedly and smiled at his friend. “I owe you more than one. If you hadn’t pushed me to go to him last night…”

“Let me plan your bachelor party, yeah?”

“We’re not there yet Chris,” Victor protested. 

“Ah, but you will be,” Chris said, smiling. “I also know true love when I see it, and you’ve both got it bad. He’s still got some emotions to work through, but I have no doubt you’ll get there.”

Victor rolled his eyes and transferred some data to a pad. “When’s the meeting in stellar cartography?”

“Thirteen-hundred.”

Victor handed over the pad. “I’d like to add these items to the discussion if possible. They’re the latest requests from Earth.”

Chris looked at the pad. “I don’t know if we’ll be able to get to all of these today.”

Victor nodded. “Whatever we can then. I know it’s last minute. Also, let’s find out when they’ll need to stop taking requests. I want their tasks set so that there’s no confusion when we get going. Depending on how long it takes we might only have this one shot for years until another vessel can get back out here.”

Chris nodded. “I’d recommend putting in a last call for all departments anyway. Give Earth until day-after-tomorrow? All departments will need to prioritize going in.”

“You’re right. I’ll let the admiral know that all the various groups on Earth have until tomorrow evening to get their requests in. That gives us the other half day for clarification and last minute stragglers.”

Chris smiled. “You and your shortened deadlines.”

Victor grinned. “People hate a hard deadline Chris. But if you set one then set a second; one you tell everybody else, and the real one that you can’t go past. Give yourself some wiggle room for those people who are prone to toe the line or those who might not have gotten word in time. Besides, it’s never a bad thing to be known as somebody who is gracious and accommodating.”

“As long as people don’t make a habit of it,” Chris added. 

Victor laughed. “That’s when you watch for repeat offenders, and sometimes hold them to the initial deadline.”

Chris laughed and stood. “I’ll take this down to stellar cartography. Anything else while I’m down there?”

Victor was silent a moment. “Pass on a message to Emil. Tell him thank you for me. I appreciate that he’s letting Yuri look at the data in his quarters. Thanks to you too of course.”

Chris’s eyes softened. “I’ll let him know.”

“Thanks. Now… I should probably get through these reports before I get a scolding from the admiral.”

Chris laughed again and strode toward the door. “Have fun! I’ll see you later for the meeting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Happy happy fluffy fluffy clouds of cotton candy, with just a dash of Yuri's anxiety. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and the crew work out the plan for cicumnavigating the black hole, then Yuri and Victor have a date in the mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the love on this fic. 
> 
> Today's chapter has a nice mix of plot development and fluff. 
> 
> Scientific measurement, for those who aren't familiar with it: 1 AU is approximately the distance from Earth to the Sun. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“We need to get closer in order to get a good read on these gravity fluctuations,” Sonders said, pointing to the latest models from astrophysics. 

Victor scowled, but before he could reply Lieutenant Nusbaum from stellar cartography interjected. 

“If we get too close it’ll take that much longer to chart the visible space behind it! We have to account more for redshift the closer we are. It could disrupt our viewing angles and make initial readings all but useless.”

Victor sighed, and turned to Emil. “Emil?”

Emil shrugged. “They both have a point.”

Victor held his finger to his lips as he thought about it. “The farther we are the longer it’ll take to circumnavigate.” He leaned over a console. “Is there a chance to make two passes if we’re close enough?”

“No sir,” Nusbaum said. “We’ve run several simulations, and even as close as astrophysics wants we’ve only got time for one.”

“Which is why we have to be close!” Sonders replied. “The Michell got incredible readings, and our equipment is better.”

Victor stood and shook his head. “That ship was also designed with a high-gravity purpose in mind. We’re not.”

“The captain’s right,” Mickey cut in. “Given the projected stresses on the hull and engine, I would recommend no closer than fifty AU.”

Sonders scowled. 

Victor turned to Nusbaum. “How far out do you want to be?”

“We’d prefer closer to a hundred AU.”

“Could we make it around at a hundred?”

Nusbaum nodded. “Our simulations suggest we’d finish circumnavigation two days before we’d have to leave for resupply.”

Victor nodded. “We’ll set a distance of seventy-five AU then.”

Both Sonders and Nusbaum made to protest, but Victor continued. 

“That’ll give us a good arc for viewing around the black hole, keep us in the safe zone and give us time to dip in closer if there’s something particularly interesting to astrophysics.”

Resigned sighs sounded through the room. 

“Now,” Victor added. “I want both astrophysics and stellar cartography working with navigation on this. Yurio is the best, and Mila can help refine. Once we start I want daily briefs between the departments so that courses are set and everybody knows what they’ll be looking at that day.”

“Yes Sir,” both Nusbaum and Sonders replied. 

“Mickey,” Victor said, turning. “Do you have your extra sensors in place?”

Mickey nodded. “The last of the new hull sensors should be ready by this afternoon. We’re measuring all mechanical stresses and radiation.”

Victor nodded. “Good. There are three ship designs now on hold awaiting that information. They want to incorporate whatever we learn here into the next generation.”

“I’ll make sure the engineers back home have plenty to work with.”

“Good.” Victor said. “Now, is there anything else?”

Heads shook around the room. 

Victor nodded. “Dismissed.” 

Victor and Chris both stood, leaving the room together. 

“I talked to Mickey before the meeting,” Chris said. “He says we keep getting dinged up from this thing throwing rocks at us.”

Victor frowned. 

“I suggest talking to the admiral and extending our time at the station by one week so that we’re not making cosmetic repairs at speed. It’ll go faster if we just hang out for longer.”

Victor sighed. “Get a list of panels that should just be replaced from Mickey. I’ll talk to the admiral about extending our stay for repairs.”

“Yes sir.”

Chris turned and headed toward a lift that would take him closer to Engineering while Victor proceeded to the one that would take him to the bridge. 

Footsteps jogging up behind him. Victor paused and saw Sonders rounding the corner. 

“Sir,” Sonders said, red hair and green eyes trained on Victor. “May I have a moment?”

Victor nodded and led the other man to an empty meeting room. . 

“I want to talk about Lieutenant Crispino’s safe orbital distance. I think it’s too conservative,” Sonders said as the door closed.

One of Victor’s eyebrows shot up. “Explain.”

“I’ve been going over the data from the Michell. They really had some incredible readings for the equipment of the time, and it’s because they were able to get so close.”

“Like I said, they were designed for it.”

Sonders shook his head. “To an extent, yes, but what really let them get close was Katsuki.”

“Yuri?”

Sonders nodded. “He developed equations out here that nobody on Earth has seen. Lieutenant Crispino is still dealing with theoretical models. Meanwhile we have equations that will completely change those models. They even have the factors for this particular black hole already worked in.” 

Victor scowled. “Seems Yuri was contributing more than you thought.” 

Sonders winced, then frowned. “I stand by what he heard captain. He’s a scientist, but he wasn’t willing to stand up for his theories. The few times I asked him for ideas, what he gave was brilliant, but then he’d act as if I had to have come up with something better by sheer benefit of technological and scientific advancement. A few people on my staff thought he was being condescending, showing off his ideas then by dismissing them out of hand seemingly challenging them to come up with something better. He wasn’t contributing, because he was scared to contribute.”

Victor frowned. 

“You’ve made it abundantly clear, Sir,” Sonders continued. “We have limited time. We can chase theories, but there has to be a reason. He has to fight for them!”

Victor sighed. “How close do Yuri’s models predict?”

“As close as twenty-five AU, but I’d personally not get any closer than thirty. We’d start losing cosmetic hull panels there.”

“How many times did you run the simulation?”

“Ten, and I refined any variables with the newest data.” 

Victor nodded. “Work with Mickey and Emil. Come up with a new safe minimum that you can all agree on. I’m keeping the distance for circumnavigation, but if you can agree on a closer distance to investigate particular phenomena, then we’ll reevaluate how close we can get for those passes.”

“Thank you sir!”

Sonders strode from the room, and Victor walked over to a small window. He gazed out at the stars. “Yuri… you finally fought against your guilt for me. When will you fight to keep pursuing your passion?”

* * *

 

The lights were low in the mess, the crew in the kitchen working on prep before they had to serve breakfast to the graveyard shift. Yuri sat in the window and looked out. He marveled that even so close the black hole was still nearly invisible to the naked eye, just a slight warping of light around it. 

The doors swished open, and Yuri turned to see Victor standing there, smiling. 

“You’re early,” Yuri said. 

Victor grinned. “So are you.”

Yuri stood and walked over. Victor immediately pulled him into his arms for a kiss. 

“What were you doing?” Victor asked. 

“Just looking at the stars.”

“Sounds relaxing.”

Yuri smiled. “It is.”

“Let’s keep doing that then.”

“Huh?”

Victor laughed and kissed him again. “Relaxing with you sounds like the perfect evening. Unless you have something else you’d like to do.”

Yuri felt a blush creep over his cheeks. 

Victor eyes widened. “Yuri! My my! What are you thinking to blush like that?”

Yuri’s cheeks heated further as the suggestive comment wound into him. He hid his face behind his hands. “Victor!”

Victor laughed, held Yuri against his chest and kissed his hair. 

“Stargazing is fine,” Yuri said as he regained his composure. 

“Fine? Is that all?”

Yuri looked up into Victor’s blue eyes and smiled. “Actually, it’s perfect.”

Victor smiled. “That’s what I thought too. Come on.”

Yuri followed Victor back to the bench, and watched as Victor took the seat he’d just vacated. Victor set one leg against the window and the other on the floor, creating a V-shape. He held his arms open.

Yuri smiled as he sat in the space Victor made for him, his back to Victor’s chest. Victor’s arms around his middle, breath tickling the back of his neck. 

“Perfect,” Victor murmured, pressing a kiss behind Yuri’s ear. 

Yuri hummed in agreement.  

They sat in silence for several minutes, Victor’s thumb tracing lines along Yuri’s arm. The motion: simple and repetitive, yet so intimate, grounded Yuri. He was there, in Victor’s arms. He relaxed completely, allowing Victor to be the anchor he needed. 

“I used to sit in the window in astrophysics for hours,” Yuri said softly. 

Victor nuzzled the back of Yuri’s neck, a silent acknowledgement that he was listening and urging Yuri to continue. 

Yuri smiled softly. “It was the biggest window on the ship, so that all the equipment could look out. But there was a spot near the edge, where the equipment couldn’t be.”

“Why not?” Victor murmured. 

Yuri chuckled. “There were some external elements that got in the way of the readings. So we had this huge window, with the perfect place to sit.”

Yuri leaned his head back against Victor’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “I used to wonder about the stars we passed; if the planets were inhabited. There was a running joke: Who on board would be the first to crack and demand Celestino find an inhabited planet with people who could take us down for some fresh air.”

“You didn’t have shuttles?”

Yuri shook his head. “Too heavy, especially for a mission that didn’t call for them. We had one job, and shore leave on alien worlds wasn’t part of it.” 

Victor kissed the place where Yuri’s shoulder met his neck. “Station one-four-two orbits a colony planet. In a few weeks you’ll be able to get as much fresh air as you want.”

Yuri hummed. “My lungs won’t know what to do with it.”

Victor chuckled against his neck, and Yuri almost melted with the feel of it. The comfortable silence descended on them again. 

“How did you get to be captain?” Yuri murmured. “Everybody says you’re still young for the job.”

Victor kissed Yuri’s neck again. “Just luck.”

Yuri turned a bit to look into Victor’s eyes. “It’s more than that, I’m sure.”

Victor smiled and Yuri settled against him again. 

“I guess it was about seven years ago now,” Victor said. “I was twenty-seven, and high enough in the chain of command to already be stationed as second in command of the graveyard shift.”

Yuri closed his eyes and listened to the soothing sound of Victor’s voice. 

“We were observing a comet at close range. It was a relatively routine assignment and nobody thought anything of it. We’d done it many times before. The graveyard shift commander was called away to one of the science departments, and I was left in command on the bridge.”

Yuri hummed to indicate he was listening. 

Victor kissed his hair before starting again. “We knew we were getting close enough to a star that we’d have to move back soon, but all estimates had projected that we had nearly a full day before we started to see the comet shearing in any significant way.

“However, there was a fracture through it that we’d been unable to detect,” Victor murmured against Yuri’s hair. “The commander had only been off the bridge for a few minutes when a huge chunk broke off. The helmsman on duty was an experienced pilot and was able to avoid the biggest chunks, at the expense of inertial dampeners… lots of broken bones and other such injuries reported, but there was just too many smaller pieces to avoid and the ship took heavy damage. Engines were offline, communication systems were down and even the lifts weren’t working.

“There I was. In command, with no way to know the full extent of the damage and no means to get orders from anybody higher up. Then… we realized we were caught in the wake of the comet and were being dragged along and repeatedly subjected to impacts as it continued to crumble around the fracture.”

“What did you do?” Yuri asked, turning his head to look at Victor again. 

Victor tilted his head a bit more to kiss him softly. “The only thing I could. I took command.”

Yuri shifted to relax against Victor and waited for him to continue. 

“An argument almost immediately broke out on the bridge,” Victor said. “My helmsman wanted us to focus on getting the engines back online. Somebody else wanted us to get the lifts working first so that senior staff could come on and replace us and so that the injured could get help.

“But, doing anything without communications was potentially devastating. If we attempted to restart a damaged engine we could kill any of the crew working in Engineering or worse. If we repaired the lifts and had been boarded by scavengers looking for an easy payday it would just let them take over easier during the confusion.”

“So you focused on communication?” Yuri guessed.

Victor nodded against his head. “That and things like sensors and deflectors. We had to get an idea of what was going on before we did anything too drastic.”

“Then what?” Yuri asked, closing his eyes again. 

“It took close to an hour to restore minimal communication and sensors. However it was spotty. There were plenty of places that we were still unable to contact, including the deck with senior officers, and the science labs.”

“So you were still the one on command…”

“Mm-hmm. Of course that only made things worse, because there were people on staff whom I could now talk with and who had more experience, but I was still technically the one in charge. Some didn’t like that. Luckily though, we hadn’t been boarded.”

Victor sighed. “It felt weird, fighting to keep command in a situation in which I was  _ supposed _ to be the one in command. I mean I was the one on the bridge, and I couldn’t reach the captain, executive officer, or the lieutenant commander who was in charge of the graveyard shift. But somehow I managed to cut through the dissenting voices.

“With only partial communications we were able to set up a network to assess damages and start repairs. The smallest and fastest uninjured personnel on each deck we could contact were assigned as runners. They’d get into the tube and shaft system to try and reach the areas still cut off, then report back. That’s how we learned that the engine repairs had been completed, and were able to hobble out of the comet’s wake.

“Once we were safely out of the rain of debris we were able to start repairs in earnest. The runners carried handheld communicators, and we were able to refocus away from internal communication to things like getting weapons online in case of attack, and to repairing the lifts so that the medical crews could get to the injured.”

Victor kissed Yuri’s hair.

“There was a lot of damage, and it was close to eight hours from the time of the fracture until we were able to reach the captain. Those eight hours felt like the longest of my life, but we got through it without losing anybody. I’d trained for command, but… I’d been assigned the graveyard shift. I’d always been told nothing happened on graveyard, but that it was a necessary step for anybody in the command line.”

“So they gave you your own ship?”

Victor laughed. “No, but I got a commendation. Six months later during scheduled crew rotations I got promoted to third in command. A year after that I was stolen away to be the first officer on another ship. Even then some people thought I was being promoted too quickly. Then, three years ago, I was given command of the Galilei. When I was promoted to captain they listed some of the achievements that made me worthy of the rank, and every one of them came about because of events that started with that comet. I’d displayed the qualities necessary then, and was entrusted with more responsibility at each step after. I worked my way up, like anybody else, but that one incident jolted my career.”

“Wow…”

Victor laughed. “So like I said… Just luck. If it had been somebody else on the bridge then they would have been the one who received the accolades.”

Yuri frowned and shifted out of Victor’s arms. He turned and looked him in the eye. “I don’t believe that.”

Victor blinked. “What?”

“I… I don’t really know you that well yet… but… You said it yourself, you had to fight for command when it mattered. Others wanted to take over, but you kept everybody in check. You had a plan to get things working, and you stuck with it rather than let yourself be swayed by competing voices. How much longer would it have taken if you’d bounced from one priority to the next?”

Victor smiled, and tugged Yuri close for a kiss. “Thank you Yuri.”

“For what?”

“For reminding me. Everybody here knows my history, and some do think it’s luck that put me on this path.”

Yuri shook his head. “Luck might have been an inciting incident, but you still worked for it didn’t you? You didn’t let luck determine your actions did you?”

Victor shook his head.

Yuri leaned in for another kiss. “Then don’t give luck the credit for all your hard work.”

Victor smiled and Yuri settled back into his arms again. 

Yuri closed his eyes, Victor’s arms more comforting than the sight of the stars. He just wanted to stay there in that moment with him. 

“We should get you to your quarters…”

“Hmm?” Yuri asked, realizing he’d nearly been asleep. 

“I said it’s time for bed,” Victor joked. 

“Hnnn-nnn…” Yuri protested. “Comfy.”

Victor laughed and kissed Yuri’s hair. “You’re falling asleep on me. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in bed?”

“Wanna sleep with you…”

Yuri realized what he’d said a fraction of a second after it left his mouth. His face heated.

“I think you’re too tired for that tonight,” Victor said with a kiss to his shoulder.

Yuri realized that his sleepy mumbling was true. “Not that,” he said curling slightly against Victor. “Just sleep…” he closed his eyes again. 

“Just sleep?”

Yuri nodded, and felt the comfortable sluggishness descend on him again. “Last night was the best sleep I’ve had since I got here.”

“So you’re asking if you can just sleep with me again tonight?”

Yuri nodded, turning more so that he could nuzzle Victor chest and smell him.

Victor chuckled. “Now who in their right mind could refuse a request like that? I’d be honored to wake and find you in my arms again.”

Yuri hummed slightly. 

“Come on then,” Victor said, kissing his hair. “Before I have to carry you to my quarters.”

Yuri stumbled out of Victor’s arms and to his feet, and allowed himself to be guided back to the comfort of the captain’s bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Sweet sweet fluff... like cotton candy. 
> 
> Also, sleepy Yuri here is very very unfiltered, LOL, and I love him like that. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri deals with the strain of learning his calculations may be used once more while Victor prepares the ship to circumnavigate the black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy evening, time for another chapter! Thanks again for all the love!
> 
> Just a scientific measurement reminder for those who may have forgotten. 1 AU is approximately the distance between the earth and the sun, and 30 AU may seem a long way, but according to one article i read while researching this that's close enough for a medium size black hole to affect tides here on Earth if one were to pass close, so these distances are no joke. 
> 
> Also, since several people have asked in the comments... No, I actually don't have any formal education in astrophysics, and I'm sure real astrophysicists would point out all kinds of flaws. My degree is actually in chemical engineering, and my day job is social media and stuff like writing blogs, press releases and the like along with a smattering of website stuff and graphic design. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Yuri awoke to the sounds of soft voices and the setting of plates. He blinked and sat up in time to see Victor enter the bedroom, resplendent in his uniform.

Victor smiled as his eyes landed on Yuri. He strode over and leaned in for a kiss. “Good morning. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

Yuri shook his head. 

“Good,” Victor said with a kiss to his forehead. “Breakfast is here. I didn’t know when you were going to wake up, so I ordered a selection of fruits and yogurt for you.”

“Arigato.”

Victor chuckled. “Do you always do that?”

Yuri blinked. “Nani?”

Victor ran his fingers along Yuri’s cheek. “Speak Japanese when you wake up?”

Yuri felt a blush creep over his cheeks. “I guess…” he replied slowly, “I didn’t know I was doing it.”

Victor smiled again. “I know the feeling. Sometimes I’ll speak Russian to Chris and only realize I’m doing it when he gives me funny looks. Of course half the time he and I automatically switch to French, much to the confusion of the rest of the bridge crew.”

“You speak French too?”

“Oui,” Victor replied with a wink. He leaned in for another kiss. “I find it adorable though. One day you’ll have to teach me Japanese so I know what you’re saying.”

Yuri’s cheeks heated further. “Ok.”

Victor tipped Yuri’s chin up for another kiss before standing and straightening his uniform jacket. “No sleeping in for me today,” he said with a sigh. “I have a senior staff meeting this morning to finalize our plans for circumnavigating the black hole, then a scheduled call with the admiral to inform him of our progress.”

Yuri nodded. 

Victor smiled, fanning his fingers across Yuri’s cheek. “Can I see you later?”

Yuri nodded again.

“Dinner this time?”

“Are you sure you want to be seen with me?”

Victor frowned and sat on the bed. He took Yuri’s hands in his own. “Why wouldn’t I want to be seen with you?”

Yuri looked down and chewed his lip. “Well… I mean… People talk… and you’re the captain…”

Victor leaned in and kissed Yuri’s forehead. “Yuri. Who I choose to spend my personal time with is none of their concern.”

“You’re sure?”

Victor ran his thumb over Yuri’s cheek. “Positive. Besides…” he grinned, “I’m sure most of the senior staff are already aware that there’s something between us. We haven’t been all that sneaky.”

Yuri blushed. “Ok. Dinner… and a movie?”

Victor grinned. “Perfect. The normal place, eighteen-hundred?” 

Yuri nodded. “Ok.”

Victor kissed Yuri again, and kept close, smiling against his lips. “I’ll see you then.”

Yuri smiled. “Ok.”

Victor stood again. He was almost to the door when he stopped and turned back. “You should make some time to talk to Emil, even if you don’t go to his office.”

“Why?”

Victor walked back over. “They’re looking at your calculations from the Michell, and running simulations. They want to use them to get us closer.”

Panic stole through Yuri. “No!” 

Victor blinked. “Why not?”

“Cause they’re not right! I made a mistake!”

Victor frowned. “Sonders said he ran the simulation, and even updated with the most recent data. He says we can get as close as thirty AU.”

Yuri shook his head. “It’s not safe!.”

Victor picked up Yuri’s hands and kissed the knuckles. “I trust my people Yuri. Even the sensor logs from the Michell say that it wasn’t the proximity. There was a matter ejection that disabled the ship and knocked them into an almost inescapable trajectory.”

Yuri chewed his lip and looked down. “But if we hadn’t been so close…”

Victor sat again, reached out and tilted Yuri’s head until all Yuri could see was the blue of his eyes. “Do you really think you made a mistake Yuri?”

Yuri turned away again. “I… I don’t know…”

“Look at me.”

Yuri looked up again. 

“How long was the Michell stable based on your calculations?”

“Almost two weeks.”

“Did you ever have problems meeting or exceeding escape velocity?”

Yuri shook his head. “No.”

“How close did you get?”

“Twenty AU.”

Victor brushed his lips across Yuri’s cheek. “We’d be one and a half times that at closest because our structure isn’t made for high-gravity. And our engines are stronger too.”

Yuri’s lip quivered as he turned to look at Victor again. 

Victor frowned. “If you’re really against it, tell me. If you really think you made a mistake, then let me know…”

Yuri opened his mouth, but nothing came out. 

“Trust yourself Yuri. You obviously did when you made those calculations initially. If there’s really a problem then help us refine them rather than tossing them entirely.”

Yuri looked away. 

Victor sighed. “Think about it? For me, and for those you lost? Wouldn’t they want Earth to get the best data possible?”

Yuri nodded, but didn’t look back. 

“If you can, talk to Emil. Let him know your concerns in a way I might not be able to convey properly. If you really think there is a mistake, then let him know and work with him.”

Yuri nodded again. 

“Look at me Yuri.”

Yuri looked up and saw concern etched across Victor’s face. Then Victor’s hand was on his cheek again. “Believe in yourself Yuri. I know it’s hard right now, but remember what made you want to come out here.”

Yuri chewed his lip. 

“I believe in you Yuri.”

“But you hardly know me.”

“I know you well enough to know you’re brilliant, and beautiful. From everything I’ve heard about your ship, you would only have gotten on if you were one of the best astrophysicists in the world.”

“I’m nothing that special.”

“You’re wrong.”

Yuri’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You’re all that, and more.”

Yuri felt tears slide down his cheek. 

Victor smiled and wiped it away. “Believe in yourself Yuri,” he repeated. “There are so many wonderful things ahead of you if you just believe in yourself.”

Yuri sniffled, eyes widening when Victor leaned in for another kiss. 

“I really have to go now. The meeting will start soon. I’ll see you this evening.”

“Ok…”

“One last thing. I’ve coded the door so you can come in when I’m not here. That way if you want to bring a change of clothes or something you can. No pressure though. Only if you’re ready.”

Yuri felt a lump in his throat and he nodded.

Victor smiled as he walked away. “Tonight.”

“Tonight.”

* * *

 

“We plan to start circumnavigating the black hole tomorrow Admiral,” Victor said. 

“How long do you expect it to take?” Yakov asked. 

“We’ve planned a week and a half for the actual trip, and scheduled in several more days to either stop or get closer for better readings. We should be done in two weeks, just in time to head for station one-four-two.”

Yakov grunted an acknowledgement. 

“We don’t know how communications will be disrupted,” Victor said. “We should be able to contact you for the next few days, but once we start rounding it we want to assume that communications won’t get through. We’ll try of course, to determine the results, but I’ve instructed all departments to relay any critical correspondence no later than tomorrow morning.”

“And your resupply requisitions?”

“I’ve already transmitted any large department requests. The quartermaster is compiling the final personal items today and will send it in the morning. We’ll send the expedite requests when we leave, along with the final hull panel list.”

Yakov grunted again. “Good to see you’re on top of things for once.”

“I’m always on top of things!” Victor replied with a grin. 

“Except for the negotiations with the Andrathi, and the last resupply, and…”

Victor sighed. “Ok… ok…”

Yakov sighed. “How’s your survivor doing?”

“Yuri?”

“Katsuki… yes.”

Victor smiled, thoughts drifting to Yuri. 

“Vitya?”

Victor blinked. “Sorry Yakov.”

“We’re on an official call Captain,” Yakov replied with a sigh. 

Victor laughed. “Sorry Admiral.”

“Well… how is he?”

Victor hummed, finger to his lip, remembering Yuri in his arms the past two mornings. He thought of Yuri’s insecurity and sighed. “Physically, fine, but he’s still got a lot of guilt and trauma to get past.”

“Guilt? You mean survivor’s guilt?”

Victor nodded, then shook his head. “That, but… I’m sure by now you’ve had a chance to review some of the preliminary information we’ve recovered from their logs. He seems to think that the ship wouldn’t have been lost if they hadn’t been so close.”

Yakov’s ever-present scowl deepened. “All the logs indicate a matter expulsion. Surely he must know that.”

Victor sighed. “He still blames himself.”

Yakov stood and paced behind his desk. “Unfortunately there’s not much we can do about such things until you reach the station. I’ll make sure there’s a counselor standing by when you get there.”

“Thanks Admiral.”

“Anything else to report?”

“No sir.”

Yakov nodded. “End official recording, mark the rest of this conversation as personal,” he said to the computer. 

“Yakov?”

“Vitya…” Yakov sighed. “Chris’s latest report seems to suggest that… you might have become romantically involved with your survivor.”

Victor blinked and sighed. “I thought I might have a bit more time before word made it back to you.”

“So it’s true?”

Victor nodded. 

“Is that wise?”

“Seems that’s for him and I to decide.”

“You said it yourself Vitya. He’s still recovering. Romantic involvement could complicate things.”

“I know that Yakov, and I’m pretty sure he does too.”

Yakov sighed and sat. “Just be careful Vitya. I was prepared to issue a stern warning… then our call started. You’re happier than I’ve seen you in years. Even your work has improved dramatically in a matter of a week or so. I’m thinking it might be good for you, but I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Yakov?”

Yakov smiled, just a twitch of the lips upwards before he settled back into a scowl. “You’re still like a son to me Vitya, even if I am your CO. I’ve known you your whole life, I’ve been there through your losses and I’ve seen how hard you stand against the pain and force a smile. That smile is real this time, and I don’t want to see you lose it again.”

Victor grinned. “Are you going soft on me Yakov?”

“Like hell!” Yakov blared, before smiling again. “I’ll never be soft on you, and you know it. But I can still be glad for your happiness. I’m concerned, but I can see the effect he’s already having on you. Just be careful. He’s been through a lot, and that will complicate things.”

“I know.”

“Good. Now, I’ll talk to you in a couple days before your expected communication blackout.”

Victor nodded. “Say hi to Lilia for me.”

Yakov nodded. “I will.”

Victor relaxed into his chair as the screen went dark.

* * *

Yuri hunched over the terminal in his quarters, squinting at the screen. “Computer, restart the simulation.”

A simulated sphere filled the screen before zooming in enough to show the ship against it, a line marked the distance between the ship and the singularity. He watched as the hull colored with simulated stresses, eyes flicking to the calculations running along one side. 

The simulation ended and Yuri sighed. 

“Computer. Compare simulations of Lieutenants Crispino and Sonders. Overlay results. Continue simulation to fifteen AU.”

The simulation started again, Mickey’s data in yellow and Sonders’ in orange. The ship got closer. 

Yellow hull panels started separating at forty-five au, then the orange ones at twenty-nine. He let the simulation run even past the point of structural failure, but the engines were still able to break free. 

Yuri leaned back and sighed. “Computer, access mission logs from the Michell. Find latest proximity calculations in my equations.”

Yuri waited, stress eating through him. 

“File located.”

“Use new calculations, and run simulation again with variables for the Galilei.”

“Calculating…”

Yuri stared at the ceiling. 

“Calculation complete.”

“How close do the new models predict?”

“Cosmetic plating shear at twenty-four AU. Structural integrity failure at twenty-two AU.”

Yuri sat up. “It lets us get  _ closer? _ Computer, re-run simulation.”

Yuri watched the data, scanning for any mistake. 

“Results confirmed.”

Yuri chewed his lip. “Computer. Run simulation with variables for the Michell.”

“External sensor shear at fifteen AU, structural integrity failure at ten AU.”

Yuri felt tears slide down his cheek. He knew what he needed to do. 

“Computer, based on sensor information sent to the escape pod… at what distance did the Michell suffer structural integrity failure?”

“Eight AU.”

“Based on the latest model, could the Michell have escaped at ten AU had the engines been working?”

“Calculating…”

Yuri chewed his lip. 

“The closest the Michell could have achieved escape velocity was twelve AU with fully functioning engines.” 

“How close could the Galilei get before it could no longer achieve escape velocity?”

“Calculating…” 

Yuri waited.

“Ten AU.”

Tears slid down Yuri’s cheek. “Computer, what was the estimated size of the matter ejection?”

“Matter expelled reached an estimated twenty-two AU before a dispersal pattern was established. Approximately half the matter continued away at decreasing speed. One-third was quickly reabsorbed, the remainder settled into various decaying orbits.” 

“Twenty-two au?”

“Confirmed.”

Yuri folded his arms on the desk and rested his head on them. “It’s my fault. If we’d been just a bit farther out, it wouldn’t have reached…”

Yuri cried until a communication chime sounded. 

“Yes?” he asked, pressing a button on the panel beside the screen. 

“The computer indicated that you were running the proximity simulations?” Emil said.

“I’m done…”

Emil sighed. “I asked the computer to send me the results, especially those from the calculations we hadn’t seen.”

Yuri sighed. 

“The captain said that you’re concerned about the calculations. I’d like you to meet with myself and Mickey. I’ll leave Sonders behind today. Tell us your thoughts. Can you do that?”

“Yes…” Yuri muttered. 

“Simulation lab twelve, engineering deck, in an hour?”

“Ok…”

“Help us Yuri,” Emil said. “Let’s get the data, and prevent another catastrophe at the same time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Poor Yuri, even more torn up about everything. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuri share a movie date on the eve of them starting the circumnavigation of the black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks for all the love on this fic. I love knowing how much you all are enjoying it. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Oi! Katsudon!”

Yuri turned to see Yurio leaving a room marked ‘Navigation Control.’

“Hi Yurio.”

“I need to talk to you.”

Yuri blinked. “Me?”

“Tch,” Yurio scoffed. “Nobody else here.”

“About what?”

“Our dark friend out there, what else?” Yurio replied, rolling his eyes. “That bastard keeps lobbing chunks of gas-rock… or whatever… at us.”

“Aren’t the deflectors taking care of most of them?”

Yurio snarled. “Do you really believe I’d leave them to just the deflectors?”

“You can’t be dodging them all. Most are too small to even be seen.”

Yurio shook his head. “No, but I’m aiming to avoid anything larger than half-a-meter or so.”

Yuri nodded. “How’s it coming then?”

Yurio frowned. “I’m trying to convince Mickey to give me more responsiveness at the helm.”

“Surely you can’t be having trouble yet.”

“No, but we’re still more than a hundred AU out. Even at close to light speed, between Mila and I we’ve got time for the sensors to see these things. But that’s gonna get tight when we move in. As of tomorrow we’ll be at fifty AU or less. We have to account for the fact that we can’t spot them until they leave the event horizon, and that’s the earliest. Sensors are still having a hell of a time differentiating them from the ambient gases, and without them being backlit some have been almost on us before we see them.”

“I see. So what makes you think I can help?”

Yurio scowled. “You’ve been here. You know how this thing acts. Surely it must give some sort of sign.”

Yuri chewed his lip as he thought about it, then shook his head. “Sorry Yurio. I just can’t think of anything.”

Yurio sighed. “Nothing?”

Yuri shook his head. “Sorry.”

“Let me know if you think of anything?”

“Of course.”

* * *

 

“Everybody’s staring,” Yuri said, eyes casting around the mess. 

“I don’t blame them,” Victor said, reaching across to take Yuri’s hand. “You’re beautiful. I’m staring too.”

“Victor!” Yuri protested, pulling his hand free to cover his face, which was turning a lovely shade of pink. 

Victor reached across the table to pull Yuri’s hands away and back into his own. “We can go somewhere else to eat if you want. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Victor was rewarded with a soft smile when Yuri looked to him. “We’re already here. I’ll just ignore the stares.”

Victor smiled and brushed his thumbs over Yuri’s knuckles. “Give it time. You’re still new here, once everybody’s used to you I’m sure it’ll be better.”

“Really?”

“Well…” Victor grinned, “that is unless they stay captivated by your beauty.”

Yuri’s blush deepened and he retrieved his hands to cover his face again, making Victor laugh. 

They finished eating, and Victor guided Yuri from the mess to one of the recreation rooms. They settled in to watch one of Victor’s favorite movies, cinematography courtesy of the triplets, and Victor felt joy through him at the feel of Yuri in his arms again. 

The movie started on the curved wall on the opposite side of the room, and gradually expanded out over the first few minutes as holo-projectors created depth in the fictional world. Soon half the room seemed immersed in a thickly-wooded forest. 

“It feels like we’re really there…” Yuri murmured. 

Victor’s arms tightened around Yuri’s waist and he kissed his hair. “That’s thanks to your friends. Theirs is the gold standard, even today. Most movies are able to get this feel now, but some still can’t quite draw you in.”

“When I left the holography was so minimal, just props and stuff to enhance the scene. It’s still so new to see the actors interacting with it. It’s almost as if I could join them.”

Victor chuckled. “Still just light. Maybe one day though.”

Yuri turned just enough to look at Victor and smiled before Victor took the opportunity to lean in for a kiss. 

They were quickly immersed in the story, and Victor could hear the occasional ‘wow’ from Yuri. Throughout he kept his arms around the other man. 

When the movie ended Yuri turned, and Victor smiled at the comfortable look in his eyes. 

Yuri turned in Victor’s arms and wrapped his arms around his neck, bringing them together for a kiss. Victor melted into it, allowing Yuri to explore his mouth with his tongue before returning the favor. The kisses deepened as the credits ended and the ambient lighting of the room crept up. 

When Yuri pulled back from the kiss his eyes were dark and lids heavy. Victor wanted more. 

“Make love to me,” Victor murmured, bringing Yuri back in for another kiss. 

Yuri pulled back just enough to nod, then moved in for another series of kisses. 

“Your quarters are closer,” Victor said. “Did you ever pick up some lube?”

Yuri blushed and shook his head. “I didn’t think of it.”

Victor smiled. “No matter, it’s just a couple extra minutes to mine.”

Yuri returned the smile and leaned in for another peck on Victor’s lips before moving aside so they could relocate to Victor’s quarters. 

Victor kept his arm slung low around Yuri’s waist as they walked, and a few minutes later they were in his quarters. 

“Did you bring a change of clothes?” Victor asked, leaning in to kiss Yuri softly as the door swished closed. 

Yuri blushed and nodded. “And a toothbrush.”

Victor smiled against Yuri’s lips. “Good.” He moved to kiss along Yuri’s jaw and down to his neck, earning a shuddering moan. 

Then Yuri was grabbing Victor’s ass, and grinding his erection against his hip. Victor gasped and held Yuri tighter. 

“How do you want to proceed captain?” Yuri asked, pulling back with a smirk. 

“However is best for you.”

Yuri immediately slid his hands under Victor’s shirt, fingers leaving scorching trails along his skin. They continued up and his shirt was pulled over his head. “Good start,” Victor joked. 

Yuri made a face, and leaned in to lick a stripe along Victor’s collarbone, making him gasp. 

“Bed,” Yuri ordered, and Victor let him push him until he was seated on the edge of the bed with Yuri straddling his lap and grinding his hips until Victor whimpered in need. 

Yuri stopped grinding long enough to pull his own shirt off, then claimed Victor’s mouth again. It was only when Victor whined that he stopped. With a hand pressed to Victor’s chest he pushed him back onto the bed and turned his attention to kissing and licking down Victor’s chest until his fingers hooked into pants and underwear, drawing them off even as his mouth continued to roam. 

Victor sighed with relief as the cool air circulated around his cock, then gasped again as Yuri began to kiss and lick it. Yet it was the wet heat of Yuri’s mouth enveloping him that left him moaning the other man’s name. 

Yuri sucked and bobbed, driving Victor crazy, until he was about to explode in his mouth. Then he pulled off, leaving Victor whimpering with need. 

“Where’s the lube?” Yuri asked, eyes dark and with a crimson flush across his cheeks. 

“Second drawer,” Victor replied, motioning toward the built-in bedside table.

Yuri moved up to kiss Victor, then stood. Victor watched him round the bed and retrieve the lube, then couldn’t contain another moan of lust as Yuri made a show of removing his pants. 

Victor moved up the bed, legs parting in welcome as Yuri rejoined him. They kissed as Yuri opened him, then he was between his legs. 

As soon as Yuri started pushing in Victor knew that the only thing that compared to the bliss of being inside Yuri, was being filled by him in return. His hips rose on their own, his entire being wanting more, then Yuri was fully inside and giving them both a moment to adjust. 

“You feel amazing,” Victor murmured, curling up so that his lips could meet Yuri’s in the middle. 

Somehow Yuri’s blush deepened. “So do you.”

Victor smiled and pulled Yuri in for another kiss. Then his body demanded more, and with a roll of his hips they started moving together. 

They drank each other’s names off their lips and passed moans back and forth. The slide of Yuri’s cock in and out was exquisite, a pleasure even beyond what Victor had thought was possible, and he lost himself in the feeling. 

“I’m close Victor,” Yuri gasped above him. 

Victor smiled and took his cock in hand, stroking it to the same pace as Yuri’s thrusts. “I’m right there with you,” he replied before using his free hand to tug Yuri down again. 

The pace quickened as they sought release, then it was too much for Victor. He spilled between his fingers, Yuri’s name on his lips. As his own pleasure started to pass he could feel the pulse of Yuri’s cock within him. Then Yuri collapsed against his chest, cock still deep inside. 

“Wow…” Yuri murmured.

“Agreed,” Victor replied. 

They stayed together for several minutes, kissing and basking in the afterglow, before Yuri pulled out and cleaned them both up. 

Then Yuri was in Victor’s arms again for the third night in a row as they settled in to sleep. 

* * *

 

“Captain,” Otabek said from his station. “All critical outgoing transmissions have completed.”

Victor nodded at his communication officer. “Ship readiness?”

Otabek took a moment to consult his panel. “All sections report that they are ready.”

Victor grinned. “Inform the crew that we’re proceeding. In addition to whatever is happening in their section they are to notify either their superior or another officer of any strange occurrences. We don’t know what might happen so close to a black hole. Any unusual medical symptoms, no matter how seemingly minor, are to be reported to medical staff for evaluation at once.”

Otabek turned back to the panel, touched several buttons, then back again. “Message relayed to all people on board.”

Victor stood and walked to stand just behind Yurio’s station at the helm. “Ok Yurio. Take us in. Set a stable orbit at fifty AU.”

“Aye sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Here we go!
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuri have spent several nights together, and with a day off brings some time together... and a party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy evening, time for more Victuri in space!
> 
> Thanks again for all the love on this fic. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor’s eyes opened slowly, body accustomed to getting up at that time, even on his day off. He smiled, it allowed him a chance to watch Yuri, sleeping in his arms. 

They’d spent five nights together, not missing one since their first. Even when duties had forced him to cancel their date on the first day of circumnavigation he’d arrived back in his quarters well past midnight to find Yuri curled up in his bed. When he asked, Yuri had told him that he’d tried to sleep in his own quarters, but only had nightmares until he relocated. 

Not that Victor minded. He could wake up next to Yuri every day for the rest of his life and not feel that it was enough. He scooted closer so that he could breathe in the aroma that was Yuri Katsuki, still with sharp notes of dried sweat from their lovemaking the night before. 

Yuri, in turn, nuzzled into Victor’s embrace, a soft sigh of contentment escaping his parted lips. 

Victor marveled how his life had been completely changed in two weeks. He looked back on the solitude that existed before Yuri, and wondered how it was he hadn’t cracked. Chris’s constant reminders to relax and enjoy himself had fallen on deaf ears, and now Victor could see the wisdom from his friend. 

He wondered how it was that the simple discovery of a nearly century-old escape pod had managed to bring him such joy. 

All too soon Yuri was shifting in Victor’s arms, obviously chasing the last tendrils of sleep before his own eyes cracked open. 

“Ohayo,” Yuri mumbled with a soft smile. 

“Dobroye utro,” Victor replied.

Yuri blinked in confusion until a smattering of pink dusted his cheeks. “Does… does that mean ‘good morning’ in Russian?” he asked slowly, voice thick with sleep.

Victor leaned in enough to press a kiss to Yuri’s forehead. “It does.”

Yuri’s smile grew. “It sounds so good coming from you,” he said before shifting to curl against Victor again. 

Victor smiled and carded his fingers through Yuri’s hair, his other hand tracing circles on his back. They cuddled in comfortable silence for several minutes before Yuri turned his head up, kissing along Victor’s chest and neck until he found his lips. 

“Mmmm,” Victor hummed into the kiss, savoring the sweetness of it. “That’s the perfect way to wake up.”

“Mm-hmm…” Yuri replied, kissing Victor’s jaw. He then paused. “Is your shift starting late today?”

Victor blinked, then smiled, running his thumb along Yuri’s cheek. “Didn’t I tell you? Today’s my day off… mostly. I only have the party to attend.”

Yuri’s nose scrunched in confusion. “Party?”

Victor smiled. “We’re going to get our first unobstructed look at what’s behind the black hole today. It’ll be the first time any humans have ever seen the stars and galaxies that were hidden behind it. Stellar cartography will be patching their live readings to whoever wants to see them. There are viewing parties planned all over the ship. Senior staff and department heads, along with invited guests, will all be at the one in the second deck conference room. Others are planning to be in the mess and other forward sections.”

Yuri’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re planning a party just for that?

Victor laughed. “Of course! It’s not every day that we get to see parts of space that have never been viewed by mankind before. You’ll come, won’t you?”

Yuri chewed his lips until Victor could resist leaning in to rescue them with a kiss. “Please?”

Yuri blushed. “Are you sure I’d be welcome? I’m not a member of the crew.”

“Of course you’d be welcome!”

Yuri’s face developed a contemplative cast. “Ok…” he said after several minutes. 

Victor beamed at him. “Great!”

“What time is the party?”

“Noon. What do you want to do until then?’’

Yuri chewed his lip again and looked away. “If it’s ok… I’d like to go to my quarters for a bit to look over yesterday’s data.”

Victor tipped Yuri’s chin up to look into his eyes. “Why wouldn’t it be ok?”

Yuri smiled softly, and Victor tugged him up for more kisses. 

“I… I just don’t know if it’s a waste of time,” Yuri finally replied.

“Yuri,” Victor murmured, running his thumb over Yuri’s cheek, “I love that you’re still so determined to learn about the black hole. You have a passion for what you do, and I adore that. Besides, learning is never a waste of time.”

A blush crossed Yuri’s face. 

“May I join you?” Victor asked. 

“What?” Yuri’s eyes were wide. 

“I’d like to see your setup, and hear what you’re thinking.”

Yuri chewed his lips. “Wouldn’t you rather hear from Emil?”

Victor smiled softly. “I hear from Emil all the time. But you’re keeping your conclusions to yourself. I want to know what  _ you _ think.”

“Why?”

Victor frowned. “Cause it matters Yuri. Science is more than chasing numbers along a line until you reach a conclusion. It’s theories, and testing, then more theories. You could have an entirely different thought, but no less valid. It’s important to investigate them all as much as we can.”

Yuri buried his face against Victor’s chest, and Victor didn’t know what to do except hold him. 

“You can come,” Yuri finally mumbled. 

“Good!” Victor said, kissing Yuri’s hair. “Shall we get breakfast before we go?”

Yuri nodded, hair tickling Victor’s skin and making him laugh. 

* * *

Yuri crossed his arm over his chest as he opened the door to his quarters.

Victor was about to see his work. Victor was about to see just how out of date Yuri was. He’d probably seen the same hypotheses from Emil and the astrophysics crew weeks before. 

The lights came on and Yuri stood to one side so that Victor could enter. He chewed his lip and held one elbow with the other hand as the captain looked around. 

Victor turned and frowned. Yuri wondered what had already caused disapproval on his face. 

Victor walked over and ran his hand along Yuri’s jaw. “What’s wrong Yuri? Why are you so nervous?”

Yuri couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean into the touch. 

“Yuri?” Victor asked after several seconds of silence. 

“I… I just don’t want to be a disappointment.”

“Oh Yuri…” Victor sighed, pulling him into his arms. “You could never be a disappointment.”

Victor’s lips were soft and warm against his, and for a moment Yuri could believe that everything he knew wasn’t a century out of date. He sighed as Victor’s fingers slid along the side of his face and into his hair, keeping them together longer. 

“Better?” Victor murmured as they parted, leaning their foreheads together so they could almost breathe from each other’s lips. 

“Mm-hmm…”

“Yuri, nobody is going to judge you for things that changed while you were in stasis. And things aren’t as different as you imagine. Just allow yourself to relax and you’ll see.”

Yuri chewed his lip, but nodded. 

“Do you want me to go?”

Yuri thought about it, then shook his head. 

“Are you sure? I know I asked to see your work, but I don’t want to be the cause of this stress.”

Yuri looked up into Victor’s blue eyes and saw the concern swirling within them. He swallowed. “No… I need to get used to sharing my findings again, even if they are outdated.”

Victor sighed and kissed him again. “They’re not outdated Yuri.”

Yuri knew better, but he appreciated how gentle Victor was being with him. He smiled and eased from Victor’s embrace, walking further into the room. 

Yuri turned on his terminal, and a small holo-pad that he’d managed to get. A sphere representing the black hole wavered into existence above the pad. 

“A holo-pad?” Victor asked, dragging a nearby chair over to look. 

Yuri chewed his lip, then nodded. “It helps me to get a sense of the big picture.”

“But we don’t have readings from the far side,” Victor noted. 

Yuri nodded. “I know, but we can extrapolate some just based on what we do see.” He pointed to some bands of gravity fluctuation. “See these? How the gravity is so different along the event horizon?”

Victor nodded and Yuri entered a command that changed the projection. “Look how different they are from my readings from the Michell.”

Victor leaned in and looked, the older readings appeared to produce a more turbulent surface.

“It looks like it settled down,” Victor noted. 

Yuri nodded. “Exactly!”

“So what does that mean?”

“It means this thing is still a baby as far as black holes go. It’s still learning how to  _ be _ a black hole.”

“How old do you think it is?” Victor asked, noting the joy starting to shine on Yuri’s face. 

“I think the dinosaurs would have seen it as a star,” Yuri grinned. “I think the original star died out fifty-million or so years ago.”

“Wow!”

Yuri smiled, excited to see that at least Victor was impressed with his theories. He then turned to the screen to point out numbers that supported some of his other thoughts. 

* * *

Victor popped the cork on the bottle of champagne to a round of applause. He passed the bottle off to a steward who carried it over to a table to pour glasses.

“This is a momentous day,” Victor said, accepting a glass of champagne as more stewards started to pass them out. “For all of human history this dark spot in the sky obscured the infinite cosmos beyond it. For millennia the dark spot itself was of no note, too miniscule from our home planet to even realize that there was more beyond. But as technology advanced we recognized it for what it was. There was an unmistakable allure to venture close to the danger, much like our advancements throughout history, but there was also the drive to learn what it was hiding.”

Victor paused, eyes sweeping the room before landing on Yuri with a smile. “Now we’re here, and we’re the first humans to have an unobstructed view of what’s been hidden from mankind throughout our history. The discoveries we make here today will add to our understanding of the universe, and I’m honored to be here with each and every one of you. 

“Take pride in this achievement, and enjoy all the little things you learn here. We may be the first, but we won’t be the last. Others will come, and they will build upon our discoveries. Let’s give them all a great start.”

“Hear hear!” sounded around the room as Victor raised his glass. 

Everybody took a sip of champagne. 

“There are parties all over the ship today and into this evening,” Victor concluded. “I’ve ordered all departments to be on light duty. I invite everybody to take enjoyment in this achievement. It’s a cause for celebration.”

Applause sounded as Victor moved from off the small podium to mingle. He immediately sought out Yuri, pulling him into his arms. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Victor said.

Yuri blushed. “That was a great speech.”

“Thanks. I’m hoping it really conveyed my appreciation for the crew. A captain may get most of the glory, but he doesn’t stand alone. My crew, especially the scientists who are doing the discovering, are the true heroes of this mission.”

Victor melted as Yuri gave him a dazzling smile. 

A hand landed on Victor’s shoulder. He turned to see Chris standing beside him. “Chris!”

“Victor,” Chris said, nodding. “Hello Yuri.”

“I’ll be switching off with Mila soon so she can come down and celebrate while the party’s still strong,” Chris continued. “But I wanted to tell you that was a great speech.”

Victor grinned at his friend. “Don’t forget to take some time for yourself to enjoy the parties today.”

Chris laughed. “I’m just glad I don’t need to be the one telling  _ you _ that for once. It’s good to see you enjoying yourself.”

Victor turned to where Yuri had wandered off and been joined by Yurio. He smiled. “Things are different now.”

“I have to say that I approve.”

Victor smiled. “I thought you would.”

Chris clapped him on the back again. “I’m gonna go switch with Mila now. We’ll do a low-complement bridge rotation to get everybody a chance down here.”

Victor nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

Chris smiled and meandered off toward the door, weaving through partiers.

Victor turned to find Yuri again, and saw he was still in discussion with Yurio. He decided to let the other man mingle. He wanted Yuri to be comfortable with the crew. The ship was his home now too, and he needed to know he had friends. 

Victor watched for a moment, then turned as another crewman approached. He figured Yuri would come to him when he needed to be close again. 

Victor quickly fell into his routine for parties, chatting with department heads that usually funnelled information through senior staff, and catching up on the non-critical information that didn’t make its way up to him. He tried to keep an eye on Yuri, but saw him chatting with enough other people he wasn’t concerned. 

A couple hours had passed before Victor knew it, and the party was starting to wind down when Sonders wandered in. He walked immediately toward Victor. 

“Sonders,” Victor said with a nod. 

“Thank you captain,” he replied. “Lieutenant Crispino and I have revised the safe distance protocols. I think we’ll get much better readings now that we’re allowed to dip in closer than fifty AU.”

“That’s great. Are you getting anything good so far?”

Sonders nodded. “We’ve been looking at the overall stability of the black hole. Actually, how  _ unstable _ it is. We think it’s extremely old, billions of years, and is close to dying…”

Victor thought of Yuri’s contradictory hypothesis from just that morning.

“You’re wrong!” Yuri interrupted, stumbling toward Victor. 

Victor caught Yuri, and immediately recognized the signs of too much to drink. 

“It’s… it’s a  _ baby _ !” Yuri declared. He hiccupped. “It’s not even a hundred million years old yet.”

“Yuri…” Victor said, knowing how sensitive the other man was. “Are you sure you want to be having this discussion now?”

“The instability suggests a much greater age than that,” Sonders said at the same time. 

“You…”  _ hic _ , “aren’t comparing the data,” Yuri slurred. “It’s more stable now than it was when I took readings on the Michell.”

“In terms of cosmic timelines, a hundred years is no more than a blip,” Sonders argued. 

“Look at the data,” Yuri demanded, somehow standing straight despite the alcohol. “It’s a baby!”

Yuri and Sonders stared at each other for several seconds before Yuri hiccupped again. Victor decided to relocate Yuri away from the party. 

“Come on Yuri,” Victor said gently, kissing his head. “Let’s go lie down for a nap. You’re drunk.”

“Not till he admits I’m right!” Yuri demanded. 

By then Victor noticed a small crowd gathering. 

Sonders continued to stare, then nodded. “I’ll revisit the data. That’s the best I can do.”

Yuri glared a minute, then nodded. “Do that.” He then slumped in Victor’s arms. 

“Are you ready for that nap now?” Victor asked.

Yuri turned to look at Victor with a smile on his face. “Nap time!”

Victor smiled. “Come on then.”

They made their way back to Victor’s quarters, and he managed to get Yuri tucked into bed. Yuri almost immediately fell asleep. 

“Oh Yuri…” Victor whispered with a sigh, fingers running along the side of Yuri’s face. “Why can’t you stand up for yourself without the confidence found at the bottom of a bottle?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Oh Yuri... But we know he does find confidence at the bottom of a bottle. 
> 
> And here begins Sonders' redemption arc. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri continues to study the black hole in private as they round the far side and are out of communication range of earth. But something in the readings catches his attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the love!
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Yuri poured over the data as soon as it was sent to him. He learned that there was a lag of several hours as it processed from the astrophysics computers to the main core, but he didn’t mind. In a way he’d waited far longer already. 

Yuri’s model of the black hole grew more intricate with every new set of data points and the calculations derived from them. Bands of gravitational flux grew more distinct, adding to the proof that the singularity at the core was spinning.  Things that could never be seen with the naked eye showed in beautiful contrast on the projection. The evolving map sported swirls and eddies that they’d only hypothesized about. 

It all pointed to a dance that had been going on for millions of years, and would likely continue for billions more. He often stared at the model, wondering how the black hole would change after his death. To its existence, his presence was so fleeting as to be missed. 

During his downtime Yuri found himself almost constantly at Victor’s side. The more time they spent together, the more Yuri wanted. Somehow it didn’t matter what they were talking about, conversation was easy and comfortable. And there was no stronger sense of home than the circle of Victor’s arms as they fell asleep each night. 

Yuri chewed his lip as he processed the latest set of numbers from astrophysics. He knew he needed to restart his career, but he couldn’t ask Victor to just give him a role on the ship. He didn’t have the training, and he wasn’t a member of the space forces. 

He also couldn’t ask Victor to give up his career. 

Yuri sighed. He had a bit of time to decide what to do, until they reached the station. 

The model updated, and Yuri squinted at it. Something seemed familiar, then he noticed the dark patch of high gravity. He’d been studying a similar phenomenon in the days leading to the Michell’s demise. 

He wondered how this one differed. 

“Computer. Access Michell logs. Project second simulation based on readings from final seventy-two hours.”

The first model shrunk to make room for the second. It wavered into existence and Yuri stared at the differences between the models. The one from the Michell was fuzzier, the readings less accurate. But he saw a similar dark spot. 

Yuri scowled and turned to the screen. He stared at the numbers, wondering if the dark spots were a regular occurrence. They were in different places, and the one the Gallilei was studying was significantly larger. 

Arms draped over Yuri from behind and he yelped in surprise. Victor’s warm laughter filtered into his ears and he turned to see blue eyes staring at him. 

Victor smiled. “I called, didn’t you hear me?”

Yuri felt his cheeks heat. “Sorry, I was kinda focused. I’d turned my communication panel down. I must have missed it.”

Victor pressed a soft kiss to Yuri’s lips. “The chemistry department was hoping to pick your brain. Care to take a trip down with me?”

“Ok…” Yuri replied, standing. He was immediately pulled into Victor’s embrace. He melted as his lips were claimed. 

“Are you sure the chemistry department wants to talk to me, and it’s not just an excuse to make out?” Yuri teased. 

Victor winked. “Why not both?”

Yuri smiled and tipped his chin up for another series of kisses before Victor led him from his quarters. 

“Do you know what the chemistry department wants to know?” Yuri asked. 

“They’re still having trouble working out how to collect samples of the gas rocks. They’d like to have a plan in place before we get back to the debris field. They also want to figure out how to get some of the gas itself.”

Yuri chewed his lip. “I don’t think the major issue is collection, but storage.”

“Oh?” Victor asked as they stepped into the lift. “Deck Sixteen, Chemistry.”

The lift started moving. 

“They’re super compressed, and because of the nature of their creation are semi-stable. But that’s in the ambient temperature of space. The ship’s ambient temperature would immediately introduce an imbalance.”

“In other words… it’s too hot here?”

Yuri nodded. “Exactly.”

Victor frowned. “Scientists on earth were hoping for some samples. That’ll be hard to do if they don’t last that long.”

Yuri chewed his lip as Victor guided him to the chemistry department. Introductions were made, and soon they were discussing how to get samples of the gas. 

They were almost done with their discussion when Yuri finally got an idea. 

“Victor?”

“Hmm?”

“Are there any empty spaces behind hull panels?”

“What are you thinking?”

“The ambient temperature of the ship is a problem. But if there’s a place outside the insulation it might be cold enough. It’ll be a pain to get to. But ultimately easier than the energy required for a containment unit inside the ship.”

Eyes widened as the thought sunk in around the room. 

“We’d need to insulate the space for temperature fluctuations near a star…” one person said. 

“But it’ll be much easier to maintain temperature outside the habitable area of the ship than inside,” replied another. 

“Getting to and from it will be difficult…” added a third. 

“Not necessarily,” Victor added. “There might be access tubes that are normally sealed. Environment suits would still be needed, but not grav boots. Mickey would know the best places.”

Excited chatter sounded through the room as Victor led Yuri out again. 

“Thanks,” Victor said, pressing a kiss to Yuri’s forehead outside the chemistry department. “I know they’ll get what they need now.”

Yuri smiled. 

“I need to get back to the bridge,” Victor continued. “See you tonight?”

Yuri blushed. “Of course.”

Victor grinned. “Until then.”

Yuri nodded and accompanied Victor to the lift, waving when he stepped out to return to the simulations in his quarters. 

* * *

Victor stepped onto the bridge and strode to Otabek’s station.

“Anything?” he asked. 

Otabek shook his head. “No captain, as expected.”

Victor nodded. “So signals really don’t make it through… or around.”

“It appears so sir.”

“And the buoy?”

“We’ll deploy it day-after-tomorrow, when we can ensure that it has enough propulsion to escape the gravity.”

Victor nodded. “Great. That’ll let us test how enhancement works and help develop guidelines for future ships.”

Otabek nodded, and Victor clapped him on the back. “Let me know if anything changes.”

“Aye sir.”

Victor moved forward to lean over Yurio’s station. “How you holding up ensign?”

Yurio grumbled. “I’ll be glad when we can back off again. Being this close makes me nervous.”

“How close are we?”

“Still at thirty. Astrophysics had their sensors trained on a particular spot.”

“Had?”

Yurio nodded. “Apparently it’s stopped doing whatever it was doing. They’re just observing now. I expect to be given the ok to back off in another hour or so.”

Victor nodded. “Hold on until then.”

Yurio grumbled in acknowledgement, and Victor made his way to Mila. 

“Anything on the sensor resolution?”

Mila shook her head, scowling at the panel. “It’s a unique challenge for sure. There’s no backlighting so there are no visual cues until they reach the far edge of our running lights. I’ve tried echo bounce, but that only works when the rocks are already getting close. Mickey’s adjustments to watch the movement of the gas helps to an extent, but because it’s hard to differentiate the gas from the solid it’s hit or miss at best.”

“Sounds like a challenge,” Victor said. 

“It is,” Mila nodded. “I actually wish Admiral Baranovskaya were here. She’d  _ love _ this. There’s a dance here, and it’s so intricate I can’t see all the steps yet.”

Victor smiled. “It sounds like it’s perfect for her.”

Mila nodded again. “It is.” 

Victor finally moved to take his seat next to Chris. “Anything to report?”

Chris shook his head. “Aside from the science departments working hard, it’s been fairly quiet.”

Victor nodded. “Well sounds to me that everybody who was looking for excitement is getting it, and everybody who wanted to relax a bit is also getting it.”

“Except me!” Yurio shouted from the helm.

“Except Yurio,” Victor added with a laugh. 

* * *

The projections were still waiting for Yuri as he stepped back into his quarters. He settled back into the chair and studied them.

“Computer,” he said. “Run simulation on model from the Michell. Show movement of readings in final seventy-two hours. Ten hours per minute.”

Yuri wanted to watch the black spot, to see how it moved so that he could compare the readings from the similar point. 

Yuri focused his attention on the fuzzy model. The dark spot swirled, darkening as the gravity got stronger. Then is disappeared. 

Yuri blinked. “Computer. Is there an error on the model?” He glanced at the numbers. “Hour seventy, the anomaly disappeared.”

“Model based on readings from the Michell. No error on model.”

“Re-run simulation from the beginning. Half of previous speed.”

The model started again. Yuri scrutinized the numbers and the model, watching the readings get stronger. Then, at the same point, the anomaly disappeared. 

Yuri scowled. “Computer, access logs from Michell astrophysics concurrent to the time the anomaly disappeared.”

Something twisted in Yuri’s middle, but he had to be sure. 

The log appeared on the screen. It wasn’t an error. The astrophysicist on duty noted that the readings had suddenly stopped. He’d requested that Celestino hold position to see if something else came from the area. 

“Computer…” Yuri said, voice shaking. “Estimate time between the anomaly disappearing and the accident that crippled the Michell.”

“Two hours twenty-two minutes.”

The twist in Yuri’s middle turned to dread. “Based on sensor information and matter trajectory, estimate source of matter ejection. Display on model with Michell to scale. Re-run simulation through impact.”

Yuri watched the dark spot, and the point on the model that represented the Michell. The dark spot swirled and condensed. Then disappeared. 

“Please…” Yuri begged, hoping he was wrong.

The dark spot vanished, and in its place a number of rocks appeared. A couple minutes later the rocks impacted the Michell.

Yuri felt the blood drain from his face. “Oh god…” He turned to the simulation of the current black hole. “Animate Gallilei readings of similar anomaly. Run over past twelve hours, five hours per minute.”

Yuri watched it swirl and condense. 

“Computer. When was the last time the core computer was updated from astrophysics?” Yuri could feel his heart in his chest, slamming from fear. 

“Three-hours thirty minutes.”

_ Three and a half hours… _

“What distance are we at?”

“Thirty au.”

Yuri did the math in his head, then bolted out of his room and to the lift. “Deck fifteen, astrophysics,” he shouted as he entered. 

Yuri bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for it to descend, impatient. He  _ needed _ to see the newest data. 

“Please let me be wrong, please let me be wrong,” he chanted. 

The doors opened and Yuri ran out, almost knocking over somebody in his haste. He yelled back a ‘sorry’ but didn’t slow. 

He got to the doors of astrophysics, and let out a whine when the alarm sounded. He ran around to the darkroom entrance. He didn’t give his eyes a chance to adjust as he stumbled into the lab proper. 

“Katsuki-san?” Minami asked as Yuri tried to get his bearing. 

“I have to see the latest readings from the anomaly,” Yuri panted. 

“Sonders was working on that,” Minami replied. 

“Was?”

“It stopped a little while ago.”

Yuri whined. “I have to see the data, right now!”

“Ok,” Minami replied, guiding a still near-blind Yuri over to Sonders’ station by the window. 

“Mr. Katsuki?” Sonders asked. 

“I have to see the data from the anomaly you were focused on.”

“It stopped. We’re in the middle of recalibrating the equipment.”

“How long ago?” Yuri demanded, eyes started to adjust. 

“What?”

“How long!”

“Just over three hours. Why?”

“Get the equipment trained on it again!”

“We’re in a recalibration. It’ll take an hour to turn back to it.”

“Then turn the whole damn ship!” Yuri shouted. “I have to see it! Now!”

There was a moment of silence, then Sonders reached forward and hit a button on his workstation. “Astrophysics to the helm.”

“Helm,” Yurio replied. 

“I need a fifteen degree roll. I need to look at that same spot again and our equipment is in the middle of recalibration.”

“Initiating roll.”

“Thanks ensign.”

Sonders hit a couple keys. “Recalibration aborted, feeding live readings,” said the computer

“What’s the problem?” Emil asked, coming from another section of the lab.

“Mr. Katsuki said he needed to look at the site of that anomaly,” Sonders replied with a shrug. “He seems pretty adamant.”

“Yuri?” Emil asked.

Yuri watched out at the endless pool of black. “Please let me be wrong, please let me be wrong…”

“Data’s coming in,” Sonders said. He shook his head. “Sorry Mr. Katsuki. It’s gone.”

Yuri felt a stone in the bottom of his stomach. “Oh my god…”

“Yuri?” Emil asked again. 

Yuri reached over Sonders and slammed his hand on the communication button. “Astrophysics to the bridge!”

“Yuri?” Victor’s voice came across the channel. 

“Victor! Get us out of here!”

“What?”

“The anomaly! It’s just had a matter ejection! Get us out of here!”

“Yurio!” Victor shouted. “Go!”

“Which way?” Yurio asked. 

“Any way!” Yuri shouted. “Just move!

“Oh my god…” Mila’s voice sounded. 

Yuri turned to look out the window. He could just see the rocks at the furthest reach of the running lights. The ship lurched into motion, but the rocks tumbled toward them. 

Yuri was flung against the workstation as the first impact hit the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> I know... I know. Cliffhangers are evil. >;-)
> 
> But I know several of you were on pins and needles expecting something to happen too, so...
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship tries to evade the rocks sent out from the black hole, but takes some damage in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know... evil cliffhangers. 
> 
> You know I had to at some point, right?
> 
> Anyway, here's to easing the collective misery. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

The ship lurched into motion, but Victor knew there was no way they’d be able to evade all the rocks headed their way. 

“Everybody hold on!” Victor yelled to the bridge crew as his fingers curled around the arm of his chair. 

The first impact grazed one side, overwhelming the inertial dampeners and knocking everybody to one side, then the second impact knocked them the other direction. There was a second of nothing, then another impact that propelled them into a higher orbit. 

After that Victor lost count as the ship was pummelled for several seconds. 

“Damnit…  _ move _ !” Yurio screamed, somehow still attempting to maneuver the ship away from the hail of rocks. 

“Three starboard aft,” Mila yelled. 

“How close?” Yurio returned

“Too close!”

“Rolling to port!” Yurio declared. “Pray we don’t all get thrown to the ceiling.”

Victor’s stomach lurched as Yurio rolled the ship away from the rocks. He watched them pass by the ship. 

“Keep on a port heading,” Mila called. “It appears to be clear ahead.”

“Just try to keep me ahead of them!”

“Roll starboard!”

“Got it!”

The ship rolled in the opposite direction, sending things flying the other way. 

“Shit!” Mila yelled. 

“Which way?” Yurio demanded. 

“Too close! Hold on!”

The ship lurched forward again as another rock struck. 

“Yuri!” Mila yelled. 

“I see it!”

Victor felt the engines sputter and engage just long enough to propel them through a clear space. 

“Three seconds,” Mila called. 

“Two…”

“One…”

There was another impact from behind and the bridge systems went dark. 

Several tense seconds passed, then auxiliary lighting kicked in, illuminating the bridge in a soft blue glow. 

“Are we clear?” Victor asked. 

“Sensors are offline,” Mila replied. “Feels like it though.”

“Get those sensors back,” Victor demanded. “We’re sitting ducks right now.”

“Yes sir.”

“Yurio, can you put any more distance between us and the event horizon?”

There was an angry buzz as Yurio tried to engage the engines. “Damnit!” was the answer. 

“Not good?”

“Engines are offline.”

Victor scowled. 

“Otabek, give me some good news.”

“Internal communication systems are working. I’ve already ordered all departments to get damage and casualty reports.”

“At least that’s something,” Victor said. He turned to Chris. “You ok?”

Chris nodded. “A bit rattled, but I’m fine.”

Victor nodded at his friend. 

“Damnit,” Yurio yelled, slamming his fist onto the unresponsive panel. 

“Yurio?”

“If I’d been just a couple seconds faster…”

Victor stood and walked over to the other man. He squeezed his shoulder. “Your flying probably saved us Yurio. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”

“But…”

“But nothing. We didn’t see them coming until it was too late.”

Yurio scowled, but Victor could see that he agreed. 

“Reports coming in sir,” Otabek said. “Minor injuries reported all over the ship. Sara’s deployed triage teams across multiple decks.” There was a pause. “Engines are offline, and engineering can’t give us an estimate yet as to when they’ll be back. That last hit caused some damage.” Another pause. “Mickey reports that lifts should be coming back online and regular power should be restored in thirty seconds.”

“Keep the good news coming Otabek.”

Otabek huffed a laugh. “Chef reports that dinner will be delayed by an hour due to most of the prep ending up on the floor.”

Victor chuckled. “Tell him I’ll forgive him this time.”

The main lights came back up and there was a collective sigh of relief. 

“Internal sensors are online,” Mila said. “Multiple microfractures along the hull. We’ve got breaches on deck five, in an unmanned portion of the weapons array, a cargo bay on deck nine. The quartermaster reports all personnel evacuated safely. Another in…”

Victor waited as Mile turned a worried look to him. 

“... Astrophysics. Sensors indicate that the lab filled with gas.”

“Yuri…” Victor breathed. 

“Go,” Chris said. 

“But…” Victor replied, numb. 

“Go!” Chris repeated. “I’ll let you know if there’s anything that needs your immediate attention. Right now we’ve made it through the worst of it.”

Victor hesitated a couple seconds, then bolted toward the lift. “Deck fifteen, astrophysics!”

The lift felt too confined, took too long as it descended. 

_ Yuri… _

The doors opened and Victor burst through them, running down the corridor. 

_ Yuri… _

A sharp smell assaulted Victor’s nose as he rounded a corner to astrophysics, and he could hear people coughing. Others were calling orders for oxygen masks. Victor rounded another corner and saw people sitting outside astrophysics, lining the corridor. He scanned the faces but didn’t see Yuri. 

“Captain…” Emil started, stumbling to his feet. 

“Yuri…” Victor begged. 

Emil shook his head. “He and Sonders were closest to the window. One of the micro-rocks came through right after that last hit. The whole room was engulfed in gas.”

Victor turned to run into the lab. Emil stopped him. “You can’t go in there captain.”

“Yuri…”

“You’ll never make it. I’ve already sent Minami to get special environment masks.”

Victor felt a whine bubble up in his throat, and he stumbled toward the door anyway. 

“No captain!” Emil said. “There’s a beam down. The gas is too thick, we have to wait for a mask.”

There was a commotion at the far end of the corridor. “Oxygen! Oxygen!”

Victor looked up to see gas leaking into the corridor, then a figure stumbled through it and the gas flow stopped. He held his breath. 

Yuri came into fuzzy view, holding his shirt over his nose and mouth, Sonders slumped over his shoulder. 

“Yuri!” Victor yelled.

Yuri’s head shot up, and Victor could see the desperation in his eyes. Several people had already stood to help him with Sonders. He passed over the unconscious man, then weaved and stumbled down the corridor, running the last few feet toward Victor. 

Victor held his arms open, wrapping them around Yuri as soon as he was within reach. He pressed kisses to his hair, ignoring the acrid tang of the gas. 

“Victor…” Yuri murmured, fists clenched in Victor’s shirt. 

“I thought I’d lost you,” Victor said, holding Yuri tight. He buried his face against Yuri’s neck. “I was so scared I’d lost you.”

Yuri pushed Victor back. 

“Yuri?” Victor asked, scared that he was being rejected. Instead Yuri’s hands were on his face, along his arms. 

“Are you ok?” Yuri asked. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you to back off sooner. It’s my fault…”

Victor tugged Yuri back into his arms. “Shhh.” He kissed his hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

They held each other for a couple seconds. 

“Emil said there was a beam down,” Victor murmured. “How did you get out?”

“The darkroom,” Yuri murmured. “I could still get to that.”

“And how’d you get through the gas?”

“I’ve dealt with it before, remember.” Yuri pulled back enough to smile. “You should let somebody from chemistry know that we’ve got their gas-state sample in there.”

“I’ll do that,” Victor laughed. “Sonders?”

“Hit his head on the workstation after one of the impacts. I couldn’t leave him.”

Victor smiled and tilted Yuri’s head up for a kiss. However just before he could he watched Yuri’s eyes roll back in his head, and he went slack in his arms. 

“Yuri!”

* * *

Yuri’s head pounded, the beeping of the medical machines a cacophony in his ears. He could smell the lingering tang of gas, and feel a warmth and weight on one side.

Yuri opened his eyes to see the lights of the medical bay overhead. He turned to find the source of the warmth, and found Victor holding his hand, head resting against his arm. A privacy curtain hung around them.

“Victor…” Yuri croaked. 

Victor’s head shot up, concern etched across his face. “Yuri…”

“What happened?” Yuri asked, propping himself slightly.

Victor reached out and ran a hand along Yuri’s face. “Sara says you breathed too much of the gas and passed out. She’s amazed you managed to get Sonders out before it got to you.”

“Sonders… Is he ok?” Yuri asked, relaxing against the pillow and closing his eyes. Victor had his hand in both of his and he could feel the soothing bump of his thumbs of his knuckles. 

“He’ll be fine. She’s treating him for gas inhalation and a mild concussion.”

“The ship?” Yuri asked, dread in his stomach. 

There was a silence that went for too long for Yuri’s liking. He opened his eyes and looked at Victor. 

“Engines are offline,” Victor said. “There are systems down all over the ship. We’re in a decaying orbit, but it’s slow. We’ve got two or three days to figure a way out of this.”

Yuri groaned. “I’m so sorry. If I’d have figured it out sooner…”

Victor kissed his knuckles. “It’s not your fault Yuri.”

“But it was…” Yuri argued, sitting up slightly. “I’d been avoiding the readings from the Michell because it hurt too much. If I’d looked at them sooner I would have figured it out with enough time for us to be safe.”

Victor pushed Yuri until he was laying down again, then leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Yuri… you weren’t the only one who didn’t look at that data. None of my crew did either.”

Yuri sighed and returned the kiss Victor placed on his lips. 

“Aren’t you needed on the bridge?” Yuri asked as Victor returned to sitting at his side. 

“Chris is handling things, and I’m getting regular reports on a pad.”

“But…”

“Just give me a few more minutes,” Victor asked, pain etched across his features. He pulled Yuri’s hand to his lips again. 

Yuri smiled and nodded, wanting Victor there as much as he wanted to be there. 

“Scootch over?” Victor suggested. 

Yuri laughed. “This bed is barely wide enough for one.”

“Means we’ll just have to cuddle closer.”

Yuri smiled, turned on his side and scooted as far over as he dared. Victor immediately took the excess room, pulling Yuri into his arms, both men balanced precariously on the narrow bed. 

“I was so scared,” Victor murmured against Yuri’s hair. “When the report came through of the gas in astrophysics...”

“Victor?”

“YA lyublyu tebya. YA ne mogu poteryat' tebya seychas.” (I love you. I can’t lose you now.)

Yuri didn’t know what Victor was saying, but there was so much emotion in his voice that it didn’t matter. He held him close and nuzzled into his chest. 

Yuri was almost asleep in Victor’s embrace when the pad beeped. Somehow Victor manage to retrieve it without both of them tumbling off the bed. However the sigh Victor let out made it apparent that falling off the bed would have only been slightly worse. 

“I have to go,” Victor said. “I’m needed as captain.”

Yuri nodded against Victor’s chest, suddenly not wanting to let go. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Yuri nodded again and Victor tipped his chin up. They kissed for several seconds, still chasing the contact even as Victor moved to put his feet on the floor. 

“I’ll be back,” Victor murmured when they separated. “In the meanwhile, get as much rest as you can. Sara says the exertion of carrying Sonders made you breathe far too much of the gas, even with your makeshift shirt filter.”

Yuri nodded, reaching for Victor. 

Victor took his hand and kissed it. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” Yuri repeated as he watched Victor disappear outside the privacy curtain. 

Yuri settled back, intent on following Victor’s orders to rest when he heard Sara’s voice outside the curtain. “Yuri? Is it ok if I come in?”

“Mm-hmm,” Yuri mumbled. 

The curtain slid aside and Sara walking in, looking harried. “The captain said you were awake.”

Yuri nodded. “At least I think I am. I haven’t felt this bad since near-vacuum training though.”

Sara returned the nod. “I’m not surprised. That was incredibly reckless you know. Brave… but reckless.”

“Hmm?”

“Sonders is bigger than you. You had to breathe heavier from exertion, and a shirt isn’t really a filter against a gas with such fine particles.”

Yuri smiled weakly. “I couldn’t leave him.”

Sara nodded. “You’re right. He probably wouldn’t have survived long enough for somebody else to get to him. But we could have lost you both.”

Sara turned to look at a panel beside the bed. “You’re lucky you got out when you did. Much more and it could have killed you.”

Yuri smiled weakly. “So what’s the prognosis?”

“You’ll feel like shit for a few days, probably have a bit of a cough or scratchy throat. But if Yurio’s any indication you’ll make a full recovery.”

“In other words… sleep it off.”

Sara shrugged. “That’s as good a suggestion as any. I can give you something to treat the symptoms if they’re bad, but your body will work through this on its own.”

Yuri nodded. “Hey Sara?”

“Hmm?”

“How bad were injuries across the ship? Should I move to my quarters so somebody who needs this bed more can have it?”

“Nuh-uh,” Sara said, putting her hand on Yuri’s chest. “You’re not going anywhere. You and Sonders were some of the worst because of the gas. Most of the others were broken bones. I’m actually keeping you overnight for observation.”

“But you said…”

“Don’t make me make it two nights.”

Yuri sighed. “Yes doctor.”

Sara grinned. “Good. Now dinner is delayed because all the prep work got tossed on the floor, but unless you’re hungry now it’s probably not an issue.”

Yuri smiled. “I’m ok.”

“Good!” Sara laughed. “I’ve got a few more patients to treat, but let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Sara ducked back out of the privacy curtain and Yuri turned on his side to try to sleep. However his mind raced. 

Victor had been at his side instead of at his place on the bridge. Would Victor get in trouble?

Yuri didn’t want to leave, but what would happen to his career if he stayed? He couldn’t stop studying the stars, it was everything to him…

Everything besides Victor. 

Yuri turned the other way. He couldn’t ask Victor to leave his ship either. He’d worked too hard to leave over somebody a century out of date. 

Yuri squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the racing thoughts from his mind. 

He was almost asleep when he heard another voice outside the curtain. “Mr. Katsuki?”

_ Sonders… _

“Yes?”

The curtain was pushed aside and Sonders limped in. 

“Are you ok? I thought you hit your head?”

Sonders nodded and motioned to the chair Victor had been sitting in earlier. “May I?”

Yuri nodded. 

“Thanks,” Sonders said with relief as he sunk into the chair. “I bruised my hip too, and it’s a touch sore still.”

“Sorry…’ Yuri said. “If…”

“Thank you,” Sonders interrupted. 

“Huh?”

“You’re the one who pulled me out of there. Thank you.”

Yuri nodded. “You’d have done the same for me I’m sure.”

“Still, I appreciate it.”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. 

“You were right you know…” Sonders started. 

“About what?” Yuri asked. 

“The age of the black hole… It’s a baby… as you called it.”

Yuri blinked several times, trying to recall when he might have said something. “Who told you I thought it was that young?”

Sonders blinked several times. “You did, and you were quite adamant about it.”

“When?”

“During the party.”

Yuri groaned. “I drank too much… didn’t I?”

“You did seem a bit drunk… wait… You don’t remember?”

Yuri flopped his arm over his eyes. “No...”

Sonders laughed. “I was talking about how old it was, and you heard me from across the room. You were certain that it was young. You demanded that I admit that it was a baby.”

“I really said that?”

“You did.” Sonders paused. “I thought you were wrong, but I took another look at the data. The signs were so subtle as to almost be missed, but you’re right. This black hole is in the millions rather than billions of years.”

“Thank you…” Yuri said. 

“For what?”

“For humoring me…”

Sonders sighed. 

“Mr. Katsuki… I know what you heard seemed harsh…”

Yuri tensed. “It’s the truth though. I’m a relic…”

“You aren’t though!” Sonders snapped. “That’s the problem!”

“What?”

“You’ve convinced yourself that science has left you behind, but there aren’t as many advancements as you imagine. You’ve missed a few things, yes, but most of those are based on  _ your _ theories. You were brilliant ninety years ago, and you’re brilliant now, but you seem to have given up!”

Sonders slammed a clenched fist onto his own leg. “We asked for your opinions, your thoughts, because we wanted to know what  _ you  _ think. There was no pity involved, there’s no room for it out here. 

“You seem to have it in your head that by sheer advancement in technology that your ideas are outdated, but that’s not the case. We’re stumbling around out here just the same as you. This is new to us too.”

Sonders sighed. “Maybe things are different than what you’re used to. It’s passion that brings us out here, but with a larger crew, and more people in the lab, we’ve all learned to fight for our hypotheses. When you backtrack immediately it makes us feel like you just don’t care about your work anymore. You’re a hero to more than one person on my team, to see you giving up on yourself so easily was upsetting.”

Sonders took a deep breath. “We all want you down there. But only if you’re still interested in being a scientist.”

Yuri stared. 

“I’m not going to apologize for what I said, because I stand behind it.  You were so caught up in your own head you weren’t contributing. For a while I thought that it was who you’d become... so broken by what happened that the love of science was ripped from you. Then the party happened. You made it clear that you were still working on the side, and you stood up for your theory. That was when I finally saw that the passion is still there.”

“I…” Yuri started. 

“I’m not asking for forgiveness, but I’m hoping I’ll see you in the lab again, and willing to learn with the rest of us. You can still advance our knowledge as a species, if you let yourself.”

Yuri blinked. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say you’ll think about doing what you do best. You’re too bright a star to dim so soon.”

Sonders stood. “I should let you rest. Thank you for saving me.”

Yuri stared as Sonders ducked out of the curtain again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Making progress between Yuri and Sonders. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the ship caught in the gravity well of the black hole, tensions and fears run high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! The fic just crossed 15,000 views. Thanks everybody for all the enthusiasm. 
> 
> Also, in case you missed it, there's now a side-story featuring the Chef. [The Chef - A Written in the Stars side-story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14596659)
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor paced the bridge as he waited for reports to come in. He wanted to rush back to the medical bay, to be at Yuri’s side. But when he’d called down Sara had informed him that he’d fallen asleep finally and it was best for him to rest. 

“Sit down Victor,” Chris said. “You’re making  _ me _ tired.”

Victor stopped and smiled at his friend, but quickly resumed pacing, earning him a sigh from Chris. 

A few minutes later he stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s take the pacing to your office, ya?”

Victor looked up and saw the eyes of the crew on him, and his nerves reflected in their gazes. He swallowed thickly. “Ok.”

“Mila,” Chris said.

Mila nodded from behind her station. “I’ll let you both know when we get something.”

Chris returned the nod, then steered Victor into his office.

Victor immediately dropped onto the couch, and Chris took a seat beside him. 

“He’ll be ok,” Chris said. “That’s what Sara told you, right?”

Victor sighed. “He was so worried about using his equations to get closer. He kept saying it wasn’t safe, but we used them anyway.”

“Technically,” Chris pointed out. “His equations  _ were _ safe. We just had no way of knowing that we were sitting directly over a forming flare.”

“Flare?” Victor asked. 

Chris nodded. “That’s what most of the astrophysics people were calling it when I went down to check on them earlier.”

“I thought black hole flares were just radiation,” VIctor countered. 

“Is there a better term for this?” Chris asked.

Victor sighed and shook his head. 

“What if he hates me Chris?” Victor asked after several seconds. “We were closer based on his calculations, which he’d protested using. Maybe we’d have seen them had we been farther out.”

“That’s a big what if,” Chris countered. “We’re thirty au out. No matter how you spin it, there were several hours before the rocks reached us.Would sensors have worked any better farther out?”

“Maybe?”

Chris scowled. “It’s not like you to second-guess yourself Victor.”

Victor sighed. “I just… I can’t lose him Chris. What if he’s angry? He didn’t want his equations used to get closer.”

“Do you really think that would really push a wedge between you?”

Victor stood and started pacing again. “Everything is still so new between us, and…”

Chris sighed, stood, walked over and put his hands on Victor’s shoulders. “You two are  _ good _ together Victor. If you can keep coming back together after everything else I doubt something like this would come between you. Was he mad when you were in the med bay?”

Victor shook his head. “No. In fact he seemed to be blaming himself for not seeing the… flare?... earlier.”

Chris chuckled. “You two are hopeless. How about you turn your energy away from worrying about if he’ll blame you to focusing on how you’ll have long and happy lives together.”

“We won’t have long and happy lives if we can’t get away from this thing,” Victor replied. 

“Exactly,” Chris replied. “The ship needs her captain right now. Everybody’s worried, and we’re all looking to you to lead us through this.”

Victor sighed. “You’re right.”

“Damn right I’m right. Now go do what you do best.”

Victor nodded. Chris was right. If he wanted a long and happy life with Yuri then he had to fight for it, and that started with making sure they were able to get away from the black hole. 

Victor strode back onto the bridge. “Otabek, open a general channel.”

Otabek studied him for a moment, and Victor thought he saw the slightest hint of a smile as he hit the controls. He nodded and Victor took a deep breath. 

“Good evening everyone,” Victor said. “As I’m sure you’re all aware, there was a flare from the black hole. It was a matter ejection, and sensors did not detect the rocks headed our way. Thanks to a last minute warning from Mr. Katsuki and superb piloting from Ensign Plisetsky we managed to avoid heavier damage, but we are still in a dangerous situation.”

Victor took a deep breath. “That said. I know we’ll get out of this. You are the finest crew in the fleet. I believe in you, so don’t give up, no matter how bleak things may seem. If we work together as we always do we’ll be putting in at station one-four-two before you know it.”

Victor closed his eyes and composed orders in his head. “Right now our priorities are engines and sensors. I want all departments to work with engineering to ensure that their needs are met, while helping to ensure that resources are going to where they are needed most. 

“Beyond that, if you have an idea of how to ease the danger of our current situation then I ask you go to your superior officer with it, even if you think this isn’t in your realm of expertise. I’d rather have too many ideas than too few.

“Finally, and this is a direct order from your captain. Don’t lose heart. No matter how bleak it seems, we’ll get out of this. Now, let’s get to work.”

Victor nodded, and Otabek closed the channel. 

Chris put his hand on Victor’s shoulder and squeezed. “Welcome back.”

Victor smiled at his friend. “Let Mickey know I want a status report as soon as he feels he can get away. I don’t care what time.” 

The doors swished and Victor looked up as the swing shift crew came on. “Day shift is relieved,” he announced. “Get some sleep people. I don’t want exhaustion adding to our problems.”

“That goes for you too,” Chris said.

Victor smiled. “No promises.”

Chris rolled his eyes as he walked away. 

Victor turned to look at the screen. “You won’t beat me,” he said to the dark spot that marked the black hole.

* * *

 

Yuri listened to Victor’s voice as it came from the communication panel. There was so much determination behind the words. 

He hoped that the positive nature of the message wasn’t misplaced. 

Yuri cringed when Victor mentioned him. He didn’t deserve any credit. He’d failed. He should have seen the signs sooner. If he had, then they wouldn’t be there. They wouldn’t be crippled and slowly being pulled into the black hole. 

Yuri’s mind raced. Was there a way to get out of the gravity well of a black hole when the engines were damaged. Victor had said that they were in a slowly decaying orbit, which at least gave them more time than if they were drifting the wrong direction. 

Yuri drifted in and out of sleep, but when he was awake anxiety clawed through him. 

Would the crew resent him? It was his calculations that had allowed them to be so close, and it was his failure to see the signs of the forming ejection that placed them in danger. Had they been farther out they might have been able to detect and avoid them.

The ship might not even be in danger if they hadn’t found Yuri. 

Yuri slept fitfully. Nightmares plagued him; memories of watching the Michell sinking toward the void. 

Then he woke up again to see Victor sitting in the chair beside the bed, silver hair falling softly over his sleeping face. He could tell by the quiet and dim lighting that it was past midnight on the ship. 

‘Victor…’ Yuri whispered. He reached out and ran his fingers down his cheek. 

Victor blinked his eyes open and smiled softly at Yuri. “Hi.”

Yuri bit his lip. “You should be in your own bed, not sitting in an uncomfortable chair in the med bay.”

Victor took Yuri’s wrist and pressed a kiss to the palm. “You’re here, so I’ll be here too.”

“Victor…” Yuri started to protest. 

“Don’t send me away Yuri,” Victor whispered. “Please. Not now.”

Yuri chewed his lip, then scooted over on the narrow bed. Victor immediately moved into the spot, wrapping his arms around Yuri. 

Yuri could feel the tension in Victor’s embrace, and knew there was more on his mind. 

“What’s wrong?”

Victor’s breath stirred Yuri’s hair. “Just worried is all. The longer engines are offline the harder it’ll be to break free.”

Yuri’s breath caught in his throat. He nuzzled against Victor’s chest. “I believe in you. I know you’ll get us out of this.”

A moment of silence. 

“Thanks Yuri.”

“Mm-hmm,” Yuri replied, taking a deep breath of Victor’s scent. “Let’s get some sleep, and hope we don’t fall off.”

Victor chuckled. “Ok.”

Yuri relaxed in Victor’s arms. He was breathing deep and was almost asleep when he heard Victor whisper against the top of his head. 

“Mne strashno. Vozmozhno, u nas ne ostanetsya mnogo vremeni. Prosto pozvol' mne provesti yego s toboy.” (I'm scared. We might not have much time left. Just let me spend it with you.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Just a bit of tension. I mean... who blames them for being worried?
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a restless night as the crew tries to repair the ship and get away from the gravity well of the black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again for all the love on this fic. It means a lot. 
> 
> Believe it or not we're winding down the story. I think there's only 5 or 6 chapters to go (though I could be wrong). 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

A hand on Victor’s shoulder, slowly shaking him awake. He turned to see one of the night-shift nurses behind him. 

“Engineering called sir,” the man whispered. “Lieutenant Crispino has a status report for you.”

“What time is it?”

“Oh-four-hundred.”

Victor nodded and the man ducked out from the curtain. 

Victor turned to look at the beautiful man still asleep in his arms, and wondered at the emotions that had to be consuming him. To have it happen again…

Victor cursed inwardly as he started unwinding himself and moving Yuri back to the center of the bed. 

“Hmmm, Victor?” Yuri croaked, chocolate eyes cracking open in the dim light. 

“Shhh, solnyshko,” Victor said, pressing a kiss to Yuri’s forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

“Where are you going?” Yuri mumbled, adorably trying to press his face against Victor’s chest. 

“I’ve been called to engineering. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I’ll check in as soon as I can though.”

Yuri nodded sleepily against Victor’s chest and shifted back to the middle of the bed. 

Victor straightened his shirt and watched Yuri sleep for several seconds, then grabbed his uniform jacket off the chair and pulled it on as he headed toward engineering. 

The engines were unnervingly quiet as he entered the room, a fraction of the noise they normally made filling the space. But the din was made up with shouted orders between the crew. Lights blazed in comparison to the halls outside, the crews from multiple shifts working frantically. 

“Captain,” Mickey said, spying Victor. He ran a greasy hand over his hair. 

“Give me some good news Mickey.”

Mickey shook his head. “Sorry sir. All I can manage so far is not horrible news.”

“What’ve you got?”

“We’ll be able to get the engines back up… partially.”

“Partially?”

“It’s going to take a major repair at a station to restore full functionality.”

“Ok…”

“But…”

“But?”

Mickey sighed. “I’m going to have to take the engines offline entirely to complete what repairs I can do. The alignment was thrown off in one of those hits, and it’s bad enough that I can’t realign with them on.”

Victor scowled. “What else?”

“I’m going to need to take main power off to do it.”

Victor sighed. “There’s no way around that?”

“No sir. The engines supply the fuel cells that run the ship. Normally I could shut down the engines and be able to bring them back up without disrupting those cells, but engines were damaged enough that I’m going to need to pull from them in order to restart.”

“So we’ll be dead in the water for however long it takes?”

Mickey nodded.

“And if the engines don’t come back up?”

“I’ll have drained everything trying.”

Victor sighed. “I see. Start shunting as much as possible into auxiliary.”

“Yes sir.”

“You said that the engines won’t be at full power even after this. Will we be able to make escape velocity?”

Mickey sighed and shook his head. “I just don’t know captain. I doubt it though. My goal is to get us enough power to stabilize our orbit long enough to get a rescue vessel out here.”

“I’m not giving up on this ship that easy,” Victor growled. 

“Neither am I, but this is where I’m at right now.”

Victor sighed and nodded. “Ok. Fill up auxiliary reserves, and top off main power storage. I want you to have the best chance possible of getting the engines up again.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor noticed the dark circles under Mickey’s eyes. “Have you slept?”

Mickey shook his head. 

“Unless you’re needed for prep, then pass that off to somebody else and rest. That’s an order. Get your day crew to bed too. You’ll be helping nobody if you’re all too exhausted.”

Mickey nodded. “Yes sir.”

Victor studied his harried chief engineer for a moment then nodded. 

Victor started back toward the med bay, intent on spending every possible second with Yuri, but almost on instinct said ‘bridge’ when he stepped into the lift. For a moment he considered canceling the order, but instead decided that he should check in with Georgi since he was up.

The lights were dim for the graveyard shift when he stepped from the lift. People shuffled back and forth between stations, hushed voices as they prioritized the needs of different sections.

“Captain…” Georgi said, rising from the command chair. 

“At ease,” Victor said, striding over to take the currently empty first officer chair. “I’m just here for a status report.”

Georgi nodded and pressed a few buttons on the console. Victor turned to see several reports on the screen in front of him. 

“Give me the summary,” Victor said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Except engineering. I just came from there.”

“Sensors are partially online, though we’re having even more trouble than before differentiating the rocks from the gas. Maneuvering thrusters are working now, so are able to help us avoid some of them at least.”

Victor nodded. 

“Perhaps the best news is that the deflectors took minimal damage, though their alignment was altered a bit. The only thing is that some of the gas likes to collect on the barrier. We have to shut them off for a few seconds every half hour or so to clear it.”

“It would be really nice to have full sensors if we’re having to shut off the deflectors.”

“Agreed sir, but we’ve lucked out so far.”

Victor nodded. “Any word on the hull breaches?”

“The ones in the cargo bay and in the weapons array have been sealed. They’re still dealing with the gas in astrophysics, then can get in there to finish patching it and repair the downed beam.”

“Are we venting from astrophysics?”

“No sir. Somebody was able to get through in an environment suit and was able to put a temporary patch.”

Victor nodded. “Besides engines, make astrophysics a priority. Their equipment is specialized and could provide a critical supplement to sensors.”

“Yes sir.”

Victor suddenly couldn’t hold back a yawn. 

“Get some sleep captain,” Georgi said. “Your shift starts in a few hours, and it’s not going to be an easy one.”

Victor nodded. “I’ll be in the med bay if you need me.”

“He’s ok right?” Georgi asked. 

Victor nodded. “Sara wanted to keep him overnight to make sure there were no complications from the gas.”

Georgi nodded. “At least there’s that. I’ll try not to disturb you.”

“Thanks.”

Victor stood and made his way back to the lift. 

* * *

Yuri slept fitfully while Victor was away.

Surely the crew blamed him. They wouldn’t have gotten so close if it wasn’t for him. There was no way Yuri could stay on board after almost getting everybody killed, assuming they managed to escape. 

The ship would have been better off if he’d never been found. He didn’t deserve the acclaim that had been heaped upon him while he was in stasis. He was a run-of-the-mill astrophysicist at best. 

Victor slipped past the curtain, exhaustion written on his face. Yuri moved aside to welcome him back. 

“Didn’t you sleep?” Victor whispered, pressing kisses to Yuri’s forehead. 

“A bit,” Yuri replied. 

“You’re supposed to be recovering.”

Yuri nuzzled into Victor’s chest, breathing deep his scent. “Missed you.”

The sound of contentment that Victor made soothed the ache in Yuri’s soul. 

Victor’s lips along Yuri’s forehead. “Let’s sleep while we can.”

Yuri nodded. “Mm-hmm.”

* * *

Victor took a deep breath. Everybody on the bridge seemed to be waiting.

“Message from engineering sir,” Otabek said. “They’re ready.”

Victor nodded. “Open general communication channel.”

Otabek nodded, and Victor took a deep breath. 

“Attention all hands,” Victor said. “Engineering has reported that they’re ready. Please secure all systems and prepare for switch to auxiliary power.”

Victor watched as Otabek listened to internal communications. After a couple minutes the stoic man nodded again. 

“All decks report ready sir.”

“Ok everybody,” Victor said. “We’re switching to auxiliary power. Keep to your assigned stations and do anything engineering asks to help the restart process.”

Victor took a deep breath. “Engineering. Proceed with the shutdown and realignment.”

“Main power shutdown commencing,” a computerized voice announced. “Ten seconds until switch to auxiliary power.”

Victor thought about Yuri as the computer counted down. Sara had promised to release him at noon, and Victor hoped that things were well enough by then that he could be there. 

“Seven...”

Victor thought about the future he wanted to have with the other man. 

“Three…”

Despite the hardships, he thanked fate for bringing them together. He hoped it continued to shine on them so that they could stay with each other for years to come. 

“Zero…” 

The bridge lights dimmed, then blinked out for several seconds before the dim auxiliary lighting kicked in. 

“Ship now on auxiliary power,” the computer announced. 

Victor looked to the viewscreen and took a deep breath. The wait was on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Do your thing Mickey. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the engine restart in process, the crew waits, and tries to figure a way out of the gravity well of the black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another tense and angsty chapter ahead, but it's a tense and angsty situation, so cotton candy fluff wouldn't mesh well. 
> 
> Warning: Minor depiction of a panic attack in this chapter. It starts right about when Yuri first gets to his quarters, and ends when Victor apologizes to him for not being there when Sara discharged him. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Katsudon?”

Yuri looked up at the voice to see Yurio standing near the edge of his bed, face dimly illuminated in the auxiliary lighting. 

“Yurio? Aren’t you supposed to be on the bridge?”

Yurio shrugged. “Not much to do up there right now. Last estimate figured at least another hour for the realignment. Somebody else can handle moving the ship with maneuvering thrusters.”

Yuri smiled and motioned to the chair. “Wanna sit?”

Yurio returned the smile and moved to take a seat. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, but I would like to get out of here.”

Yurio laughed. “I know that feeling. That gas is some nasty shit.”

Yuri nodded. “Yes, but it’s not exactly my first go with this stuff.”

Yurio ran his hand through his hair. 

“What’s on your mind?” Yuri asked. 

Yurio looked up, determination in his green eyes. “I’m sorry Katsudon!”

Yuri blinked. “For what?”

“I blamed you for the shuttle accident. I thought you didn’t share what you knew on purpose. I was horrible to you, and you didn’t deserve it.”

Yuri smiled. “You were angry for a few hours, after that you’ve been nothing but a good person. Don’t let that initial anger cloud our friendship.”

“You’re really not mad?”

Yuri shook his head. “How could I be? We’d just met and you’d been injured by the gas. A bad mood would have been the least of your concerns.”

Yurio smiled. “Thanks Katsudon.”

Yuri nodded. 

There were several minutes of silence as they listened to the unnerving silence of the ship. 

“Hey Katsudon?”

“Hmm?

“We’ll… we’ll still be friends if we get out of this, won’t we.”

“Don’t use such language Yurio.”

Yuri realized what he’d said just in time to see Yuri’s face fall. “Don’t worry,” he quickly added. “Of course we’ll still be friends...  _ when... _ we get out of this.”

Yurio smiled again. “I’m glad.”

A chime signaled the start of a ship wide announcement and both men turned their heads to listen. 

“Attention all hands,” Victor said. “Engineering reports that the realignment is complete and they’re ready to initiate the restart process. Please return to your stations, and prepare to follow orders from engineering on how to facilitate in the restart process. We’ll commence in five minutes.”

Yurio stood. “That’s my cue.”

Yuri nodded. “Good luck up there.”

Yurio held out a ‘thumbs up’ sign. “I’ve got to fly us out of here, right?”

Yuri nodded. “Right.”

Yurio made his way from the med bay and Yuri waited. 

“Engine restart commencing,” a computerized voice declared. 

Yuri waited what felt like an eternity, and he was positive that the engines would fail to start. Then main lighting came online. 

“Engine restart complete,” the computer said in a tone that was far calmer than the situation called for.

Yuri let out a breath. He closed his eyes to relax, but almost immediately the curtain was drawn aside. 

“Yuri?” Sara asked. 

“Hi doc.”

She smiled. “How you feeling?”

“Hoarse, tired, but otherwise ok.”

She nodded. “I’m ready to release you, unless you feel like you need to stay.”

Yuri shook his head and moved to stand. There was a moment of dizziness, in which Sara had to steady him, but otherwise he was ready to leave the confines of the medical bay. 

He made his way slowly to his quarters, noting the nervous looks of the ship’s crew. He couldn’t blame them. 

The lights came up in Yuri’s quarters and he sighed. The butsudan had fallen over when the ship lurched, but more disturbing was how the holograms of the black hole and ships returned to how they had been when he ran out of the room. 

Yuri stared. He’d failed. He’d failed to see the signs on the Michell, and he’d failed to protect Victor and his crew. 

His fingers curled into his palms and he trembled thinking about how he’d failed. Tears streamed down his face as he thought of Victor, and how his failure had likely doomed him and his ship. 

He’d put Victor in danger… he’d put Victor in danger… he’d put…

“Yuri!”

Strong arms wrapped around him. Somehow Victor was there, holding him close and pressing kisses into his hair. 

“Breathe with me Yuri,” Victor said softly. “Just focus on that, ok. Deep breaths..” Victor demonstrated. “In and out. Come on…”

Victor… Victor wanted him to breathe. He could do that. He listened to the sound of Victor’s breaths. He tried to match them. 

“That’s it Yuri…” Victor murmured. “Just breathe. I’m right here. You’re safe.”

Yuri squeezed his eyes closed and focused on the sound of Victor’s voice. It was warm and comforting. Then the attack was over and he slumped in Victor’s arms. 

Victor guided Yuri to the bed and sat him down before sitting beside him and keeping Yuri in his arms. 

“I’m sorry Yuri,” Victor said between more kisses to his head. “I meant to be there when Sara discharged you, but when I called down she said you’d already left.”

Why was Victor sorry? Wasn’t his place on the bridge?

On the bridge… managing the crisis that Yuri caused. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuri cried, tears welling in his eyes again. “I’m sorry Victor. I’m so sorry.”

More kisses and all Yuri could think to do was relax in Victor’s arms. “It’s ok Yuri… I’m here now.”

Yuri looked up, tears streaming down his face again. He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry! I failed you and the crew. I wasn’t able to protect you. All the signs were right there and I missed them. I may have gotten everybody killed.”

Victor sighed, and Yuri could see the pain in his eyes. “It’s not your fault! We’ll get through this Yuri. The engines are back online, and I’m sure we’ll be able to think of a way out.”

“But…”

Victor silenced him with a kiss, and Yuri melted. Even his anxiety quieted with Victor’s touch. 

“Nobody blames you,” Victor murmured, running his thumb over Yuri’s cheek. “So stop blaming yourself.”

Yuri buried his face against Victor’s shoulder. 

Victor shifted slightly. “Can you show me what you were looking at on your model?”

Yuri turned his head to look at the floor. “Does it matter now?”

Victor tilted his head up and looked into his eyes. “Of course it matters.”

“Why?”

“You said it yourself. Seeing it like this helps you get an idea of the big picture, and right now, we need that. Until we can get astrophysics back up, this little model of yours might give us the best information about how to approach this thing.”

“All the information’s in the computer though, isn’t it?”

Victor nodded and ran his thumb over Yuri’s cheek again. “It is, but these models are based on your own formulas, aren’t they?”

Yuri felt his cheeks heat. “Yeah.”

“You saw the flare Yuri, when nobody else did. I bet there’s more in these models that’s just waiting for you to discover.”

Yuri chewed his lip. “Ok.”

Yuri showed Victor some of the various spots of interest on the model, paying attention to how he furrowed his brow and nodded as the information faded out to unknown areas ahead. 

“Thanks Yuri,” Victor finally said. He pulled him into his arms again. “We’re meeting this afternoon to discuss ideas on how to escape this. I’d like you to be there if possible.”

“Are you sure?”

Victor nodded. “Absolutely. You understand this thing, and in a different way from Emil, Sonders and the other people in astrophysics. We need that expertise.”

“Ok.” Yuri paused. “Should I bring the holopads?”

“If you’re comfortable with it, I think it would help.”

Yuri nodded. “Ok.”

Victor tilted his chin up and kissed him softly. “I have to go. I’ll see you this afternoon?”

Yuri nodded. 

* * *

Victor looked around the table at his senior staff, Yuri, and a few other officers. Exhaustion was painted across most of their faces. “Mickey, can you give us a status report?”

Mickey nodded and stood. He walked over to a screen and a diagram of the ship appeared. “We sustained damage in several areas along the hull, and had breaches in three areas. As of now the weapons array and the cargo bay breaches have been sealed, though permanent repairs at a station is advisable. Astrophysics is still a problem as one of the gas rocks penetrated there, as opposed to a stress breach. Every time they think they’ve got all the gas out they find pockets of more. As it’s dangerous to breathe we want to be sure it’s all eliminated before completing repairs and allowing personnel back in.”

Heads nodded around the table.

“Now onto the engines,” Mickey continued. “After the realignment they are stable and functioning at seventy percent. We hope to bring that up to eighty by tomorrow. But…” Mickey paused and took a deep breath. “Even with the repaired engines we don’t have enough power to maintain a stable orbit. We’re straining them just to keep the orbital decay to a minimum, and the closer we get, the more likely it is that we won’t get out again. The fact of the matter is… right now our engines cannot achieve escape velocity.”   

Resigned sighs sounded around the table. 

“Thanks Mickey,” Victor said as he returned to his seat. 

Victor looked around the table. “So that’s where we are right now. We need ideas. How do we escape this thing with our current engine problems? I’m not giving up and I expect none of you are either.”

“What about a gravity slingshot?” Sonders asked. 

“Mickey?” Victor asked, tossing the question over. 

Mickey shook his head. “I already ran the simulations for that. Unfortunately we’d need to achieve a higher speed going in than we can currently manage.”

Muttering around the table. 

“These gas-rocks have a strong wake,” Yurio said. “Mila and I were trying to chart them earlier so we could avoid them. Maybe we could hitch a ride on one instead.”

“That presumes that we’ll know when and where one will be, and get close enough to get in,” Emil said. “We had a hard enough time seeing them before, didn’t we?”

“Oh… yeah…” Yurio said with a sigh. 

“It’s a good idea Yurio,” Victor said. “But I remember you saying that the wake was dangerous because it was too turbulent. However, if we see one of sufficient size coming at us and you think you can do it, by all means, try to hop a lift.”

Yurio nodded. 

“We need more people,” Victor said. “We can’t wait for one of these rocks to appear and hope it can give us a tow.”

More muttering around the table, and Victor heard one continuous line throughout: How could they boost engine power?

Victor turned and saw concern etched across Yuri’s features. 

“Yuri? What are you thinking?”

Yuri turned slightly and suddenly the room was quiet, all eyes on him. 

“I… um… well…” Yuri paused and took a breath. “There’s a band of weaker gravity if we move up along the axis slightly. It’s not weak enough to break free, but it should reduce the strain on the engines slightly and get us less decay in our orbit. It’s not much, but it could buy us another twelve hours or so.”

“A band?” Sonders asked. 

Yuri nodded and called up his holo-projection. Emil and Sonders immediately flocked to his side to look at it. 

“Where did you get this Mr. Katsuki?” Sonders asked. 

“I um… well I used the incoming data, and created some formulas from the patterns I was seeing, and…” Yuri waved his hands at the model. 

“I just thought these were eddies,” Emil said. “All those gravity fluctuations seemed random! Are you telling me that this thing has striations of gravity?”

Yuri nodded. “I thought you knew…”

Emil shook his head. “Our models showed the data as it was coming in, but hadn’t gone through extrapolation yet. It seemed too random.”

“Oh…” Yuri said. His face developed a nervous cast. “Well… these are just how I’m seeing it, but…”

“No Yuri,” Emil interrupted, a scowl on his face. 

“Hmm?”

“Stop right there. You don’t get to second-guess yourself here. We’re looking for a way out, remember. All ideas and knowledge, even theoretical knowledge, is viable. There’s no harm in trying to move the ship to a different band if there’s even the possibility that it gives us more time. And even  _ if _ this model is wrong, or has potential flaws, it’s a different way of looking at things, and we need that right now.”

Victor smiled. “He’s right you know.” Everybody turned to look at him. “What matters now is input. We need ideas and information, the more the better. Everything is open for consideration. I’d rather take a chance on untested models than sit here twiddling my thumbs as we sink further into this gravity well. I’m sure most of the crew agrees. So don’t hold back, any of you. Follow Yurio’s example: suggest things you might have thought were dangerous even two days ago. Follow Yuri’s example and show us a different way of looking at things.”

Chatter around the table as if everybody there had been unleashed to suggest or try the most wild things imaginable. 

“Deflector shield restart in fifteen seconds,” a computerized voice declared, interrupting the meeting. 

Victor sighed. “And if anybody has ideas on how to keep that damn gas from collecting on the deflector shields, toss that out too.”

Laughter sounded, but as the meeting wore on the excitement faded. It ended with the decision to send out the communication boosters as soon as they could potentially get a clear signal to Earth, and hope that with additional repairs another vessel could reach them in time. 

* * *

“Victor!” Yuri cried as he opened up around Victor’s cock. He dug his fingernails into his back as kisses were pressed to the column of his throat.

Yuri wanted and craved Victor’s touch. Their mouths sought each other out and they kissed desperately. 

Yuri could feel Victor’s body saying the things that he wouldn’t allow his lips to speak. The raw passion as he moved inside him had an undercurrent of fear. The deep thrusts said that he wanted to experience all of Yuri while he still had the chance. The hickeys surely dotting Yuri’s skin said that Victor wanted to mark him as his before time ran out. 

Every kiss, every movement, every moan spoke louder than any words: We need to love each other as much as possible while there’s still time. 

Yuri drowned in the sensation, and allowed time to stop for just a bit. The black hole, the Michell, his loss… it all faded in the breaths stolen from Victor’s lips, from the sparks of pleasure that coursed through him at every thrust. It faded with  _ Victor.  _

Yuri moaned, legs parting for more. He wanted him deeper inside, no space between them. Victor immediately pushed in that bit farther. 

Fingers intertwined as Victor moved. When they weren’t kissing or sucking marks into each other’s skin their eyes were locked, voices moaning names in the heated air between them. 

They might not have much time left, but they had this. Raw passion, energy between them that could have rivaled that which created the black hole. Yuri was drawn to Victor in every way possible, and he didn’t want to escape his gravity. 

Sweat glistened like diamonds on Victor’s face, hair shone like spun moonlight in the dim lighting of the captain’s quarter. Flushed cheeks and kiss-reddened lips made him even more lovely. His skin was smooth and soft under Yuri’s fingertips, and the cock buried within him was long and hard. 

For a moment, it all almost seemed worth it. The loss, the pain of his ordeal, they had all led to that moment, with the man he loved more than he ever thought possible. 

Yuri came, Victor’s name on his lips as the warmth of his release spread between them. Then the deep pulse of Victor inside him, filling him. 

Kisses turned tender and sweet. Fingers along Yuri’s face, tracing his features, and Yuri reciprocated, burning the contours of Victor’s features into the memory of his fingertips. 

Reality came back to them as Victor pulled out and cleaned them up. The slight tremble as he slid into bed beside Yuri and pulled him into his arms a reminder that time didn’t stop just because they wanted it to. Silence said more than words could. 

They didn’t need words as Yuri buried his face against Victor’s chest and cried. They didn’t need them as Victor pressed more kisses to Yuri’s hair. 

They understood the fear between them, the looming loss just as they’d finally found each other. 

Tears gave way to hiccups, and finally to deep, even, breaths. Yuri could rest comfortably in the circle of Victor’s arms, no matter how dire things seemed outside of the security of that space. 

Victor’s lips on his head again. Yuri was almost asleep, but not quite. 

“Ya lyublyu tebya,(I love you.)” Victor said softly. 

Yuri fell asleep with Victor’s arms trembling around him, the weight of unshed tears threatening to pull them both down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Yep, they needed some sexy-times after everything that's happened. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Galilei remains stuck in the gravity well of the black hole, the crew searches for answers that may lead to an escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of something for everybody in this chapter: There's some Chef, some Georgi, a bit of Emil, more of Sonders and even the adorable Minami. 
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor woke up far too early, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get back to sleep. He spent nearly an hour just holding Yuri… beautiful Yuri… and watching him sleep. 

Victor noticed the little twitches and whimpers, noises that hadn’t been as prevalent prior to the accident. He knew that the current situation was fraying Yuri’s already jagged nerves. He hadn’t even had a proper chance to grieve, to move past the monumental change and loss in his life, and he was facing death again. 

Victor wondered how the beautiful yet fragile man had gotten so strong. 

His body started to complain about staying in bed despite being awake, and Victor finally had to force himself to move. Yuri unconsciously chased him as he shifted away, but he managed to get out of bed without waking him. 

Victor let the warmth of the solar shower seep into him. He couldn’t let Yuri’s loss be in vain, he had to get them free. He dressed in silence. He had a job to do as ship’s captain. 

Yuri was sleeping fitfully when Victor checked in on him again. Victor frowned and leaned over the bed to press a kiss to his shoulder. 

“I love you Yuri,” he whispered in Russian. “We’ll get out of this, I promise.”

Victor chanced one last glance at his sleeping love as he left his quarters and headed down to the mess. 

The lights were dim as he entered, and even the noise from the kitchen was quiet. Prep cooks chopped and whisked, each focused on their jobs. 

“Good morning Victor,” Chef said. 

“Morning Chef. Coffee please.”

Chef nodded. “You’re up early today. Have a seat in the mess. I need to talk to you.”

Victor blinked, but nodded. He took a seat at a table in the mess, and a minute later Chef joined him, passing over a steaming mug. 

Victor picked up the mug and took a sip without really smelling it first, but he blinked when he taste his favorite tea with just the right amount of jam. 

“Chef?” he asked. “I thought I ordered coffee.”

“Today’s not a good day for coffee,” Chef replied. 

“Is there something wrong with it?”

Chef shook his head. “Not at all. But it’s not a good day for  _ you _ to have coffee.”

“Isn’t that my decision?”

Chef just smiled. “Not today. You drink tea when you’re in a good mood and have a positive outliook, but you drink coffee when things are going bad. What does it say to others when you drink coffee on a day like today?”

Victor stared, even as Chef passed over a data pad. 

“What’s this?”

“Additions to my resupply order. We lost a bit of stock when things got shaky.”

Victor gaped. “Chef?”

The elder man smiled. “Also, how much extra time does Mickey think the trip from here to the station will take?”

“I… Um… I’ll have him talk to you about that.”

“Do. Menu planning will have to work around that. Now I was thinking about the welcome week meals for new crewmembers once we leave the station. We’ve got a good mix of people coming onboard, and I was thinking that with how hard we’ve been working a welcome banquet might be more appropriate than just regional foods sprinkled through the menu for the week.”

Victor sighed, a small smile creeping over his face. “A banquet sounds like a lovely idea.”

Chef nodded. “I’ll come up with some menu choices on our way to the station, run it by you and Chris.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Victor replied, taking a sip of his tea. 

Chef smiled and nodded. “Good. Now I gotta get back to prep.”

Victor nodded. “I’ll add your new items to the resupply list.”

Chef nodded again and stood. “Tray for your boyfriend in a few hours?”

Victor felt a blush creep over his cheeks. “Please, and one to my office as well once breakfast is ready.”

“Got it.” Chef disappeared back into the kitchen. 

Victor looked at the pad in his hand and smiled. He took another sip of tea and headed toward the bridge. 

The lift doors opened, and Victor watched his graveyard shift crew moving about the bridge. They bustled from one station to another, chatter in the air conveying requests for energy drawdowns on certain decks or informing various departments the status of important information. 

Victor noticed there were more people than normal and stepped further into the room. 

“Captain on the bridge,” somebody called and everybody stilled. 

“At ease,” Victor replied. “Go about your duties.”

Chatter and scurrying resumed as Victor strode down to take a seat next to Georgi. 

“Give me some good news,” Victor said. 

“Well…” Georgi said. “Engines are functioning at seventy-five percent, and are on Mickey’s target calculations.”

“I hear an unspoken ‘but’ in there…”

Georgi sighed. “The gain in the engines is just offsetting what would otherwise be the decay in our orbit. We’ve still got some decay, and aren’t making any headway in pulling away.”

Victor sighed. “Yuri’s gravity mapping models?”

Georgi nodded. “They seem to be holding.”

“At least there’s that.”

Victor turned to look at a status report on a screen. He skimmed the information, but in the chatter behind him could hear one word over and over: list.

“What’s this list I keep hearing about?” Victor asked. 

Georgi looked at him and smiled. “It was Lieutenant Morooka’s idea. We’ve compiled a list of all the suggestions floated to get free of the gravity well, in response to crewmembers thinking instead of sleeping calling in. That way they can see what we’ve already looked into.”

“There are that many new ideas?” Victor asked, listening as several people spoke about adding ideas to the list. 

“Not at first,” Georgi said. “But the longer it was up, the more original ideas started coming in. I’ve assigned extra people to running simulations. We haven't had any successful simulations yet, but there’s a backlog. So we’re hopeful.”

“Wow…” Victor said. He turned toward the graveyard shift communications officer. “Good job Lieutenant. Thank you for suggesting that the ideas are public.”

Morooka nodded in response before turning back to take more internal communications. 

Victor looked to Georgi again. “Anything look promising, even if unsuccessful?”

“We’ve added anything with more than a forty-percent chance to a second list for more simulations. Sadly though, that list is far shorter.”

Victor nodded. “Anything else?”

Georgi sighed. 

“What is it?”

“The saddest suggestion we had…”

“Oh?”

“Crewman McKenzie’s daughter called.”

“Isn’t she only five?”

Georgi nodded. “I guess she couldn’t sleep either. She asked us to try asking the black hole nicely to let us go. She even said she’d use her best ‘please.’”

Victor winced. “What did you tell her?”

“The same thing we’re telling everybody else. That we’d run the simulation and add it to the list.”

“What were the results?” Victor asked. 

Georgi smiled. “As expected, not that great, but better than I’d have thought. Her plan has a full one-percent chance of success.”

“Not bad for five years old,” Victor replied. “She’ll be brilliant when she grows up I’m sure.”

Georgi nodded. 

“I’ll be in my office, likely going over this list of yours.”

“Aye sir,” Goergi replied as Victor stood. “And sir?”

Victor paused. 

“It’s good to see you drinking tea today.”

Victor smiled. “Thanks Georgi.”

* * *

 

Yuri was putting the butsudan back up and cleaning up the mess in his quarters when the communication chime sounded. He walked over to the panel on the wall and pressed the button. “Yes?”

“Yuri, it’s Emil. Can you join the astrophysics team in half an hour?”

“Is the lab already repaired?”

“No. We’ll be meeting on the main engineering deck. Lab C seven.”

“Half an hour?”

“That’s right, and can you bring any of your personal notes?”

“Um… sure…”

“Great. See you then.”

Yuri looked around at his makeshift station and sighed. He transferred his personal formulas to a pad, and powered down the holo-pads. By the time he had all his data it was time to go. 

He cradled the holo-pads and the data pad to his chest in the lift, trying to take up as little space as possible. But his nerves only intensified when he stepped into the lab. The entire day shift of the astrophysics crew was already assembled and seated around the room. 

“Hi… um…” Yuri started. 

Applause sounded through the room, making Yuri jump and almost drop the things he was carrying. 

“Wha… what’s that for?”

“Yuri,” Emil sighed. “What do you think? You saved Sonders’ life! And thanks to you the engines were already engaged when the rocks started hitting us. There’s no way we would have gotten through with as little damage as we did if we weren’t already moving.”

“But…”

“No buts Yuri,” Emil stated. “We’ve got a lot of work to do, so accept the praise. We need you at your best. We’ve got to figure out a way out of here.”

“Us?” Yuri asked, looking around.

Emil beamed. “Of course! Who else would you expect to come up with the best ideas of what to do around a black hole? To let anybody else do so will damage our pride as astrophysicists!”

A cheer sounded around the room, with only Minami’s voice louder than Emil’s.

“But why me?” Yuri asked. “I’m not part of the crew.”

Emil sighed. “Nonsense Yuri. You’re here because you’re one of us. Now get that stuff set up. I want you to give a crash course on how your equations got you those models so that the rest of us can start looking for other trends or tidbits of information that might get us out of here.”

Yuri was almost finished setting up the holo-pads when he caught Emil out of the corner of his eye. He motioned the other man over. 

“Are you sure it’s ok if I’m here?” he asked softly. “I mean…”

“I asked,” Sonders said behind Yuri. “I meant it when I said I wanted to see you in the lab again Mr. Katsuki. Let’s make today a new beginning.”

Yuri smiled. “In that case, call me Yuri.”

Sonders held out his hand. “Ok, Yuri.”

* * *

 

Yuri, Sonders and Minami sat around a table in the mess, faces long as they ate. 

“All morning and  _ nothing _ that got us past the thirty-percent mark,” Minami sighed, leaning back in his chair. 

“Chin up ensign,” Sonders said. “We’re having better results than the average.”

“Still…” Minami stared up at the ceiling. “You’d think we’d have come up with something by now, especially with Yuri-san’s models.”

Yuri smiled. “Models aren’t everything Minami-kun. They’re only giving us more insight into this thing.”

Minami pouted. “How can you say that? They’re brilliant!”

Yuri sighed. “There are still so many things we still don’t know though…”

Sonders looked up. “Speaking of which… it’s time.”

“Huh?” Yuri asked. “Time for what?”

Sonders motioned to the windows. “We’re coming into the final arc of uncharted space. Within the next two minutes we’ll have a full idea of what’s been hiding behind this thing.”

The three men turned and watched out the window in silence. 

“That’s it then,” Sonders declared after several minutes. “There’s officially no external source of the gas.”

“It must be leftover from the supernova collapse,” Yuri said. “That must be why the black hole keeps…”

“Yuri-san?” Minami asked. “Keeps?”

Yuri turned and his eyes met Sonders. “Keeps rejecting it.”

Sonders gave Yuri a confused look before his eyes widened. “Do you think?”

Yuri jumped up and ran to the windows. “There’s no external source of the gas. There’s nothing feeding it. It keeps getting pulled in and spit back out.”

“I don’t get it,” Minami said, walking up behind Yuri. 

Yuri shook his head, once again meeting Sonders’ gaze. “The lab.”

Sonders nodded, and both men bolted from the mess. 

“Engineering deck!” Sonders demanded of the computer as they stepped into the lift. 

“How do we use it?” Sonders asked. 

“The deflector,” Yuri replied, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Its alignment got knocked off, the gas is attracted to it.”

“We’re going to have to get closer.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Eyes followed them across the room as Yuri and Sonders raced to one of the workstations and started inputting the variables. They watched as a timer elapsed, then the ship on the screen sped toward the black hole before being flung away.

“Probability of escape: seventy-percent,” the computer declared. 

“Seventy-percent!” Sonders yelled. “Seventy-percent!”

Yuri found himself swept into a hug as Sonders continued to yell “seventy-percent.”

“Deflector shield restart in fifteen seconds,” the computer stated. 

Sonders looked up, released Yuri and raced to a panel on the wall, slamming his fist on a button. “Computer, cancel automatic deflector shield restarts. Authorization Sonders A-one-three-C-Z.”

“Deflector restart aborted,” the computer declared. 

Sonders raced back over and grabbed Yuri’s wrist. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“The bridge!”

Yuri and Sonders raced toward the lift, and a moment later it opened onto the bridge. 

Victor stood, resplendent and in his element as captain as they ran onto the bridge. 

“Sonders?” Victor demanded. “Why did you…”

“Captain!” Sonders said.

“Victor!” Yuri said at the same time. 

Victor looked between them. Then Sonders motioned to Yuri. 

“Victor,” Yuri said. “We may have a way out of this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Friggin gas, lol. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and Sonders describe their plan to senior staff, then everybody settles in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, more details on their plan!
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Victor looked around the table at the assembled staff. After a minute he stood. 

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all what a dire situation we’re in,” he started. 

Heads shook around the table. 

“Thanks to Georgi and Mr. Morooka we’ve had simulations running almost constantly since last night. Anything over a forty percent chance of escape was considered promising enough for continued tests…”

Nods. 

“So you can imagine the feeling when Mr. Sonders  and Mr. Katsuki came to me with a proposal with a seventy percent chance.”

“Seventy?” Mickey asked. “Why aren’t we already trying it?”

Victor motioned out the window. “In a way, we already are.”

“Huh?” 

“Look close,” Victor said. “You can already see the buildup of the gas on the deflector shields.”

“We’re working on that sir,” Mickey said. 

“Stop. That just be might what gets us out of here.”

“Huh?” Mickey repeated. 

Victor nodded. “I think I had better let Yuri and Mr. Sonders explain.”

Yuri and Sonders exchanged a glance before Sonders yielded. 

Yuri stood and chewed his lip a moment before starting. “I… um… well…” he paused. “One of the mysteries of this black hole has always been the source of the gas,” he finally said. “When we cleared the last section of unknown space behind it we got our answer. There’s no external source, and there’s too much given that.”

“What the fuck does the gas have to do with how we’re going to get out of here?” Yurio demanded. 

For a second Victor thought about reprimanding him, but nods around the table let him know that others were wondering the same thing. 

Sonders stood. “Given the lack of an external source we can deduce that the black hole isn’t absorbing the gas and just not getting all of it. Rather, it’s recycling it.”

“Huh?” Yurio spat. 

Yuri bit his lip again. “The black hole doesn’t absorb any of the gas. It rejects it, kinda like you might refuse food that makes you sick.”

“I think I get it,” Emil said, “But how are we going to use it. We can’t get close enough for it to spit us back out, even if we are coated in gas.”

“We don’t need to,” Yuri said. “We’re going to use a slingshot.”

“But I already ruled that out,” Mickey said. “We just don’t have the engine power to get the speed going in that we’d need.”

Yuri nodded. “With just gravity, yes, but the black hole actively rejects the gas. We just have to use it to convince it to give us an extra boost. If we can get close enough to trigger the response that rejects the gas, then we have a shot.”

“Ok,” Yurio said. “It seems like this plan is the best we have, so why the meeting?”

Victor stood. “Because while this might be the best, it’s also the most dangerous. If it doesn’t work, there won’t be an opportunity to try anything else. We’ll be down to a matter of hours at best, and far too deep in the gravity well to do anything except watch the clock run out.” He paused. “Given that, I want the opinions of you all, my senior staff. I may be captain, but there are some decisions that should not be made alone.”

Murmurs around the table. 

“Ok then,” Chris said. “Tell us this plan.”

Yuri stood again and walked to a screen which showed a diagram of the ship against the curvature of the black hole. 

“As Victor already pointed out, the first part of the plan is already in motion. We have to let enough of the gas collect on the deflector for the black hole to  _ want _ to eject us again. But there’s one problem, and the first unknown. We don’t know for sure how much we’ll need, and if the collection rate will be constant as it builds up.”

“So let it go as long as possible,” Yurio spat. 

Yuri nodded. “That’s the other problem. We have to try no later than tomorrow... early afternoon. After that and our decay will have pulled us in enough that even with the assist we won’t have the speed necessary going in.”

Yuri turned to Emil. “Emil, Mickey, this is where we’ll need the two of you as soon as possible. Can the people down in chemistry find a way to attract  _ more _ of it?”

Emil nodded. “I’ll have them get on it.”

“What about main shields?” Mila asked. “Can they be reconfigured to help?”

Yuri shook his head. “Good thought, but no. We need them untouched.”

Yuri started the simulation on the screen. “Once we get enough gas collected we’ll head in at an angle, curve in, and the black hole should bounce us back out. But… and this is where the shields come in. Even with the seventy-percent chance of escape, this is extremely dangerous. We’ll be pushing structural integrity, and the black hole is going to want to condense the gas as tightly as possible. We’ll need the shields acting as a buffer against that. Ideally we want the gas to crystalize on them.”

“You want the gas to crystalize on the shields?” Yurio demanded. “How the fuck am I supposed to see to fly?”

“You won’t,” Yuri replied bluntly. “Sensor resolution will also be severely impaired if it works at all. You’re going to need to chart your flight path with the computer before the gas gets too thick, and trust your instinct.”

“And fly us right into the damn black hole!” Yurio spat. 

“We wouldn’t ask if we didn’t think you could do it Yurio,” Victor said. “But if you really think…”

“Tch,” Yurio growled. “Like anybody else could do it.”

“That’s the spirit,” Victor said. 

Yuri nodded and turned to Mickey. “Structural integrity will be strained. Can much be done to reinforce it?”

Mickey shook his head. “We’ll do what we can for critical areas like the bridge, deflector and sensor arrays, but we should probably evacuate everybody to interior portions of the ship behind emergency bulkheads.”

“Come up with a plan,” Victor ordered. 

“Doctor,” Sonders said. “Gravity and radiation are major concerns.”

Sara stroked her thumb over her chin. “I’ve already prepared several inoculants for radiation, but gravity is something we can’t do much about. We just have to minimize exposure.”

Sonders nodded. 

“Otabek?” Victor asked. “Are the communication buoys ready? I’d like to deploy them before we make this attempt.”

Otabek nodded. “They’ll be ready in a couple hours. Not that I think they’ll help much. I’ve been sending general distress signals since the flare.”

“Let’s pre-program them,” Victor said. “If they don’t get a communication bounce from us within two days they’ll send a message to Earth.”

Otabek nodded. 

Victor stood again. “Ok, to recap. We’ll be gathering that gas overnight. Tomorrow we go in with a slingshot trajectory, and hope that the black hole rejects us along with the gas. We’ll evacuate as many as possible to the internal areas of the ship, inside emergency bulkheads. We’ll deploy communication buoys in the event that we don’t make it.”

“Can evacuation pods be deployed?” Mila asked. “Get as many people as possible off?”

Mickey shook his head. “They weren’t designed for high gravity. They wouldn’t make it outside of the gravity well.”

“How did Katsudon’s pod get out?” Yurio demanded. 

“They shunted everything to push thrusters,” Mickey explained. “And its own thrusters were strong enough that they’d rival even today’s orbital racers. Ours aren’t nearly as powerful.”

Otabek nodded. “Even our communication buoys, which are lighter and have stronger thrusters than our escape pods, won’t escape. They’ll just take longer to decay.”

Mila sighed. “Beyond keeping the shields stable, what do you need from me?”

“Work with Yurio,” Victor said. “You’re our tactician for a reason. Go over the simulations and craft the flight plan. We need you two working in sync if we’re going to get out of this.”

Mila nodded. “Yes sir.”

Victor looked around the table. “Any questions?”

Heads shook. 

Victor nodded. “Ok everybody. You know what you have to do. Let your departments know, and let’s do this.”

Nods as people stood and left. 

* * *

Yuri stared out the windows of Victor’s quarters. The thick haze of the gas was noticeable outside the ship as everybody settled in for the long night ahead.

Strong arms wrapped around his middle from behind and Victor pressed a kiss to his shoulder. 

“Second thoughts?” Victor asked. 

Yuri shook his head. “This is still our best option, isn’t it?”

Victor kissed his shoulder again. “Nothing better’s come along.”

“What if we don’t make it?”

Victor’s arms tightened. “At least we’re trying.”

Yuri turned and stared into Victor’s blue eyes. “I’m so sorry Victor.”

Victor kissed his forehead. “Yuri, why are you apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for.”

“But if you hadn’t rescued me…”

Victor pulled him tight. “Don’t say such things. We would still have been here, and could have just as easily ended up like this.”

“But…”

Victor brushed a thumb over Yuri’s cheek. “Yuri, if a scare like this is the price of having you, of you coming into my life. Then it’s worth it.”

“Would everybody else say that?” Yuri looked away. 

Victor tipped his chin up and planted a kiss on his lips. “I believe in you. I believe in your theories. I know we’ll be safe… because of you.”

“Victor…”

Victor kissed him again, and Yuri melted into it. However as soon as it ended all his thoughts raced back into him. 

He thought of Phichit, and the crew of the Michell. He thought of the years lost, and all the new friends he’d made. 

He thought of Victor, and how little time they’d had together. 

“Victor… I… I...”

Victor leaned in again and kissed him deep and slow. 

“Ya lyublyu tebya,” Victor murmured, forehead pressed against Yuri’s and eyes closed.

Yuri was about to ask what Victor had said, then realized that he already knew. The tone of voice was enough. 

“I love you too,” he whispered. 

Victor huffed a laugh and kissed him again. 

“Make love to me?” Yuri asked, heat spreading across his cheeks. “Just… just in case…”

Victor smiled. “We don’t need to be facing death for me to want to make love to you Yuri.”

Yuri’s blush deepened. 

“I love you,” Victor murmured, leaning his forehead against Yuri’s again. 

Yuri tipped his chin up and kissed Victor. He wrapped his arms around his neck and held him close. “I love you… I love you…,” he chanted. 

Yuri wasn’t sure how long he had to say it, and he was determined to say it as many times as he could.

They stumbled to the bed, wrapped up in each other. They traded kisses back and forth, grinding against each others hips. Hands roamed beneath shirts until they were tossed aside, the warmth of lips replacing that of fabric. Pants were kicked off so their legs could tangle together properly. 

Victor’s fingers brushed his entrance, and Yuri gasped. A moment later he groaned in ecstasy as one long digit slipped inside. 

Victor took his time opening him, prepping him gently while chasing his moans of pleasure with his lips. A chorus of “I love you” floated between them, unable to be contained once the floodgates opened. Then, just when Yuri thought he couldn’t wait any longer, Victor was between his legs, pushing inside. 

Yuri arched into the pleasure, moaning Victor’s name, then they were moving together. 

Victor thrust in long, slow strokes that kept Yuri on the edge of bliss. He both wanted him to speed up, and to keep up the torturously languid pace forever. He understood that neither wanted the moment to end. 

Eventually their bodies demanded more, the pace increasing, their lips finding any spot of skin they could to kiss and suck. Then Victor’s hand was around Yuri’s cock, and it was too much. 

“Victor!” he cried as he came. He was vaguely aware of Victor coming immediately after. 

Victor tangled their fingers together as they came down from the high, kissing and murmuring words of love into each others mouth. Neither wanted to separate, but they had to when it got uncomfortable. 

Then they were in bed, the lights dimmed and Yuri wrapped protectively in Victor’s arms. 

However, Yuri found he couldn’t sleep. Thoughts raced through his head as he listened to Victor’s even breathing behind him. 

He wondered if they’d be able to escape. He worried that the crew would hate him. He thought of the people he’d lost. 

Victor’s lips against the back of his neck. “I’m here Yuri…”

“Victor… I thought you were asleep.”

Victor’s arms tightened. “Yuri…”

Yuri shifted and managed to turn so that he was facing Victor. He could just make out his features in the dim light filtering in from outside. He ran his fingers along Victor’s face and through the fringe of his hair. 

“That feels nice,” Victor said with a pleased hum. “But you should try to sleep.”

“I’m scared,” Yuri admitted, feeling small and weak for having fears over his own plan. 

Victor turned and kissed Yuri’s palm. “Yuri… we’re all scared. I’m sure tonight will be a very restless night on this ship. But I believe in you, and I believe in my crew. If we’re going to get out of here, it’s because of your brilliance and their tenacity. Tonight’s not our last night solnyshko, it’s just one of many more to come.”

“How do you know?” Yuri asked, tears sliding down his cheek. 

Victor wiped away the tears with his thumbs and kissed Yuri. “Because.. I believe in you.”

Yuri cried, and he couldn’t even fully explain why. Victor just held him until it had passed. 

“Ready to sleep now?” Victor asked as Yuri’s sniffles faded. 

“Yeah…”

“I love you Yuri.”

“I love you too Victor.”

* * *

“Communication buoys are in the torpedo tubes and ready sir,” Mila said.

Victor nodded. “Fire when ready.”

A second passed then. “Buoys away.”

Victor watched the silvery tubes streak from the ship, swirls of the gas in their wake as they passed through the deflector shield.  

Victor turned to Otabek, who held out an upraised thumb. “Contact good, they’re on their trajectory.”

“Good.” Victor turned back to Mila. “Load Mickey’s sensor buoy.”

“Already loaded sir.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

The sound of another launch, and a third buoy streaked away from the ship. 

“Readings coming through sir,” Otabek said. “I’m patching them through to both tactical and the helm.” 

“We might lose communication with it when the gas crystallizes, but keep that feed as long as possible,” Victor ordered. 

“Yes sir.”

Victor glanced to Yuri and Sonders, sitting off to his left at one of the multipurpose stations. He nodded, then strode to the helm. 

“Ready Yurio?”

“Da.”

Victor stood and faced Otabek again. “Open a channel.”

A pause, then Otabek holding up a thumb again. 

“Attention all hands,” Victor said. “Buoys are away, and all sections have reported ready. Report immediately to evacuation zones if you have not done so already. We’re expecting stress fractures and breaches along the hull, and anybody outside of emergency bulkheads is at increased risk. Deck commanders, ensure everybody knows where medical supplies and personnel are located. We’ll be proceeding with the plan to use a close range slingshot with gas assist in two minutes.”

Victor gave the signal and the channel was closed. 

Tension was thick like a blanket on the bridge. 

“Two minutes elapsed sir,” Mila finally said. 

Victor nodded. “Seal all between-deck bulkheads. Set emergency bulkheads to seal at first indication of stress breach or fracture.”

“Yes sir,” Mila replied. 

“Victor to Chris,” Victor said. 

“Chris here,” came the reply. 

“Emergency bridge is ready in case we have a breach up here?”

“Yes sir. If the computer reports a breach on the bridge I’ve got all systems patched in down here for quick takeover.”

Victor nodded. “Ok. Hopefully you won’t need it.”

“Agreed sir.”

“Chris?”

“Yeah.”

“Good luck.”

A chuckle. “You too.”

Victor turned and looked among everybody on the bridge, eyes finally landing on Yuri. “Thank you all. You have all exemplified the best of the Space Forces, and I couldn’t be prouder as your captain. No matter what happens, I couldn’t ask for a better crew.”

There was a moment of silence in which nobody knew what to say. 

“So are we doing this thing, or are we just going to sit around here fucking patting each other’s backs?” Yurio asked. 

Victor stared, then smiled. Chuckles sounded on the bridge as the moment was broken.  

Victor walked up and rested his hand on the backrest of Yurio’s chair. “Yurio… take us in.”

Blond hair bobbed as he nodded. “Aye sir.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> There they go. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew of the Galilei attempt their escape from the gravity well of the black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wait is over... will they make it?
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Yuri’s eyes followed Victor as he strode away from Yurio’s chair and back to the command seat. He could feel the deck plating starting to shake under his feet as they strained the engines for every possible bit of speed. 

“Steady as she goes,” Victor said, eyes sharp on the viewscreen, even though the only thing that could be seen was the gas. 

“Trim to starboard,” Mila said.

The shaking of the ship eased as Yurio adjusted his heading. 

Sonders tapped Yuri’s arm to get his attention. He pointed to the viewscreen. “Look.”

Yuri squinted, trying to see what Sonders did, then he saw it. The gas was starting to crystallize on the shields. 

“Wow…” Yuri breathed. 

Sonders nodded. “Chemistry says thanks by the way.”

“Huh?”

“They wanted samples to study and try to figure out this process, but now they get to watch it in action. I guarantee that every sensor they can get their hands on is trained on the shields right now to capture this. If they can figure out how the pressure seals the lattice structure they think engineers on Earth will be able to create entirely new materials.”

Yuri blinked and smiled. “I hope so.”

“We’re starting to lose data from the sensor probe,” Otabek announced. “Sending final readings to Mila now.”

“Understood,” Victor confirmed. “Mila, make it count.”

“Aye, sir,” she called back. “Yurio, I’m sending you the final trajectory.”

“Got it,” the blond called back. 

“Message from Mickey, captain,” Otabek said. “He says engines are maxed out.”

“Yurio?” Victor asked. 

“Mila,” Yurio said. “Do your current calculations require any more?”

“No. You’re good,” she replied. “Stay on course, and shift into the higher gravity band in ten seconds.”

“Ok.”

Yuri watched as Victor’s crew worked seamlessly together. He wondered if he’d ever be able to find a place among them. 

“Increased pressure on the shields,” Mila declared. 

“How bad?” Victor asked.

“They’re holding for now.” Mila replied. “But much more and we could see sporadic failures.”

Yuri’s body was suddenly heavy in the chair. The ship groaned as the structural integrity was strained. 

“Stress fracture in a support on deck eight,” Mila said. “Sensors report that a hull fracture may be forming on deck twelve. We’ve lost a couple hull panels but they’re stuck inside the shields with us.”

A high pitch whine started to sound as the gravity increased and at the same time pulled them in faster. 

“Come on…” Sonders said next to him. 

“How are we doing?” Victor asked. 

“Just a little bit longer,” Mila replied. 

“Hold up you bucket of bolts!” Yurio yelled. 

“Hey!” Victor protested. “This ship isn’t a bucket of bolts!”

“Prove it!” Yurio demanded. 

Nervous laughter as an alarm started sounding in the background. 

“How long?” Victor repeated. 

“Twenty seconds,” Mila replied. 

Yuri started counting in his head. 

“Hull breach on deck five,” Mila shouted. “Emergency bulkheads in place.”

“Keep her steady Yurio,” Victor ordered. 

“Ten seconds,” Mila called. “Shields are at their limit.”

Yuri looked at Victor, at the soft fall of silver hair, at the look of determination etched into his features. 

“I love you…” he breathed. 

“Five seconds!” Mila shouted over the din. “Prepare to curve.”

Yurio’s fingers flew over the controls. 

“Four!”

Sonders’ knuckles were nearly white from gripping the arm of his chair. 

“Three!”

Mila almost seemed to dance as she flitted from one side of her station to the other. 

“Two!”

Otabek was stoic as ever as he spoke to personnel via internal communications. 

“One!”

Victor, beautiful Victor, grimaced. 

“Now!” Mila declared. “Curve in twenty degrees!”

The ship groaned as Yurio changed its heading under the high-gravity conditions. 

“Please…” Yuri begged. 

He was pushed back in his chair as whatever mechanism that threw out the gas got a taste of the gas on the shields. 

“Hold on!” Mila yelled. “Inertial dampeners are trying to compensate.”

“Gaining speed,” Yurio called. 

Victor looked over to Yuri, and Yuri wondered how he had the strength to command a ship under such conditions. 

“Stress buckling on deck seventeen,” Mila announced. 

“Come on…” Sonders urged. 

“Microfracture on the bridge!” Mila yelled. 

“Nothing to do about it now!” Victor called back. “Chris. You still on standby?”

“Yes sir,” came the reply over the communication system. 

“We’ve got a microfracture up here. Keep the line open just in case.”

“Aye sir.”

“Eighty percent of escape velocity,” Yurio called. 

“Come on baby,” Victor said. “You can do it.”

“Ninety!”

A crack sounded somewhere below them. 

“Hull breaches, deck two and ten!” Mila called. “Bulkheads in place.”

“Escape velocity!” Yurio declared. 

Cheers erupted around the bridge.

“Lay on the gas ensign and don’t let up until we hit the debris field,” Victor ordered. 

“Yes sir!” Yurio replied. 

The shaking decreased as the ship sped away from the black hole. 

Yuri slumped in his chair. 

“Hey,” Sonders said, leaning over. “You did it.”

Yuri smiled weakly. “No… everybody did it.”

Victor looked over and smiled at Yuri, and Yuri’s heart ached for what he knew he couldn’t keep. 

Then the moment was broken. 

“Mila,” Victor ordered. “Use your discretion about when is best to break up this crystallized gas around us.”

“Yes sir,” she replied. 

“Release inter-deck bulkheads except in decompressed areas. Let’s get people moving around this ship again.”

“Aye sir.”

Yuri watched Victor, at ease in command for a few minutes, then, no longer needed, stood and made his way from the bridge. 

* * *

 

“More damage reports sir,” Chris said, walking into Victor’s office with a handful of pads. 

Victor nodded and motioned to the pile already on his desk. “Give me the summary.”

“We took a few hits going through the debris field, but most of this is from the escape. Mickey says that we have to address the buckling on deck seventeen before we can form a flux envelope. He’s also going to need to take the engines offline for three days now to restore flux capabilities.”

Victor nodded. “Inform the crew, and tell him to start as soon as he’s ready. Now that we’re out of the gravity well we can let him do what he needs”

“Aye sir,” Chris said before moving to sit on the couch with a relieved sigh. 

Victor smiled. “You can say that again…”

“Aye sir?” Chris asked, arching one eyebrow. 

“No, the sigh.”

Chris chuckled. “Let’s not do that again, yeah?”

“I think we can try to avoid that.”

Chris trained his green eyes on Victor. “How are things with Yuri? I mean... that was a lot of stress for him I’m sure.”

Victor smiled. “I want to marry him Chris.”

Chris sighed. “Is he ready for that?”

“No, but I’ll wait until he is.”

“How’s he doing otherwise though?” Chris pressed. 

Victor sighed and looked at the ceiling. “I think that… despite my efforts to tell him otherwise… he still thinks that what happened is his fault.”

“None of the crew thinks that you know.”

“I know… but I don’t think he does.”

“Everybody’s grateful, if he hadn’t had that gas idea…”

Victor nodded. “We might be facing our death now instead of facing repairs.”

“So what are you going to do to convince him that nobody blames him?”

“I don’t know.”

* * *

 

It took two days before Yuri could get into his quarters, that section having been damaged in the escape. 

He looked around at the mess. The butsudan had toppled over once again, along with several other items. 

He picked up everything slowly. He had the time. Victor was busy long past the end of his shift, never resting as captain as the ship underwent repairs. He only returned to his quarters well after midnight, and was so exhausted that all they could do was kiss and cuddle as they fell asleep. 

The astrophysics lab had been moved down the priority list in favor of major repairs, and with it out of commission the staff was pitching in around the ship as needed. 

Everybody was working overtime on repairs, except him.

Yuri had tried to help, but he wasn’t used to the Galilei, and after watching an engineer run from their own repair to his and back over and over to address his myriad questions he realized that he was more hindrance than help. 

Yuri set the tiny shrine upright, and added the various pieces again. Finally he picked up Phichit’s photo. He held it, silently staring, thumbs running over the familiar face. 

Yuri started crying, pulling the photo to his chest. 

“I’m sorry Phichit,” he sobbed, tears streaking down his cheeks. “I can’t… I… I can’t do what you want. He deserves better than me.”

Yuri fell to his knees, still clutching the photo to his chest. “I nearly got them all killed Phichit. It almost happened again, because of me. And now I can’t even help. I’m a burden on this ship.”

Tears fell onto the carpet, making constellations of wet spots. 

“I’m sorry Phichit,” Yuri said again. “I love him, I really do. But I can’t keep him. It’s better for him if I let him go.”

* * *

 

Victor was exhausted, and all he wanted was to shower and fall asleep with Yuri wrapped in his arms. But when he’d arrived in his room the other man wasn’t there. 

“Maybe his quarters,” Victor muttered as he strode through the dimmed corridor. “Chris said that the section had been opened again this afternoon.”

Victor arrived at Yuri’s quarters, and the door opened for him. But he didn’t find him. 

Victor just wanted to sleep, but he needed to find Yuri. “Maybe the mess,” he mumbled. 

Victor padded through the corridor, noting the same exhausted look on everybody’s faces. Then the doors to the mess opened and he smiled. There, in the window, was Yuri. 

“Yuri…” he said with a sigh, walking over. 

Then Yuri looked at him, and his world crumbled. Even from halfway across the room he could see that Yuri was upset and had been crying. He rushed over and took Yuri’s hands in his. 

“Yuri, solnyshko, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Do I need to take you to medical?”

Yuri hiccupped, retrieved his hands and wiped his tears. “I’m not hurt,” he mumbled. 

“Please, darling, what’s wrong? Was it another panic attack? I’m sorry I wasn’t there. You can always call me ab…”

Yuri shook his head and balled his hands into fists. Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“Yuri?” Victor prodded, fear and concern lacing through him. 

“Victor…” Yuri started, voice shaking. 

“Yes?” Victor asked after a couple seconds of silence. 

“Let’s… let’s end this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> It had to be done. 
> 
> Also, there are only 2 chapters left after this. Just FYI. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the fight for their lives is over, Yuri tells Victor "Let's end this." But is that what either of them wants, and will they be able to find happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is all! The penultimate chapter of Written in the Stars. 
> 
> In case you missed it, I wrote an entire shorter fic last week for omegaverse week. If you like your omegaverse fics fluffy and loving check it out! [_All the Shiny Things_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14970680)
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Let’s… let’s end this.”

Yuri squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists tighter, the pain of his nails in his palms grounding him, driving him to do what was necessary. 

“What?”

Victor’s voice… It cut through his raging thoughts, reminding him that he had something to do. 

Tears slid down his cheeks. “Let’s end this,” he repeated. “You deserve someone better than me.”

Silence, as if time itself had come to a stop. 

Yuri dared to open his eyes, and the last bits of his heart shattered. Victor gaped at him, tears dripping from his eyelashes. 

“I’m… I’m going back to Earth,” Yuri continued, afraid to stop. Afraid that he’d give in to the desire to melt in Victor’s embrace instead. 

Something snapped in Victor. He grabbed Yuri’s arm, tugging him out of the mess and down the corridor. A minute later they were in an empty conference room. 

“Why?” Victor demanded as soon as they were completely alone. “I thought…” Victor faltered. “I thought you loved me…”

“I do!” Yuri protested. 

“Then why?” Victor yelled. “You love me, I love you. Why?”

Yuri fidgeted and looked to the floor. “I’m… I’m a relic. Eventually you’ll get tired of me. If we end this now it’ll be easier.”

Victor’s hands on his arms, fingers digging in. “Why would you say that?!”

“I don’t belong here!” Yuri cried, doubling over as he wrested himself from Victor’s grasp. “All I do is hurt you! I put everybody in danger! I can’t even help to fix my own mistakes!”

“Yuri! Nobody blames you!”

“I blame me!” Yuri crumpled, kneeling on the floor. 

“Yuri…”

“I love you Victor… I really do,” he sniffled. “But I can’t… I can’t hold you back. You deserve someone better than me. You deserve somebody who will help your crew, rather than hinder them.”

“Yuri… you’re not…”

Yuri stood. Every second was more painful than the one before, and he was about to break. He stumbled toward the door. 

“Yuri! Wait!” Victor cried.

Yuri looked back, and saw the devastation in Victor’s eyes. 

Victor’s arms opened, as if to welcome him back. “Please…”

Yuri bolted. “I’m sorry…”

* * *

 

Victor looked up at the sound of the door swishing open. He squinted, unable to make the person come into focus. “Yuri?” he asked of the silhouette in the frame. 

“Computer, lights,” Chris said and the room immediately brightened.

Victor sighed and rested his face against his tented hands again. “What do you want Chris?”

“Your shift started twenty minutes ago,” Chris replied. 

“I’ll be there in ten,” Victor replied, moving to stand from the seat he’d taken at the table. 

Chris walked over and pushed him back into the chair before sitting next to him. “Take one step onto that bridge before you get some sleep and I’ll call Sara to declare you unfit.”

“This is my ship Chris.”

“I know that. But you’re exhausted.”

Victor lifted his head long enough to glare before resting his elbows on the conference table again. 

“Victor… you didn’t know who was standing in the door until I spoke. Even in low-light Yuri and I look nothing alike. You’re in no shape to command.”

Victor dropped his arms to the table and rested his head on them.  

“What happened?” Chris asked. 

Victor turned his head to escape the question.

The silence stretched into minutes. 

Chris stood. “Get some rest. Mila and I can cover today.”

Chris was almost to the door when Victor spoke. “Yuri… he… he left me.”

Chris’s footsteps stopped. 

“He… he said that I deserve somebody better than him.”

“It’s not like you to give up,” Chris said after several seconds. 

“What am I supposed to do?” Victor demanded, tears streaming down his face. “We’ve only known each other a matter of weeks. He’s spent at least a third of that time running from me. How many times am I going to have to chase? How much more running will he do? Could I endure him running again if I chased him now? It hurts worse every time, and I don’t know how much more I have in me.”

“What do you want Victor?” Chris asked. 

“I want Yuri.”

“Then you should fight for him.”

Victor was silent. 

Footsteps again. 

“He said he loves me...”

The door swished shut behind Chris. Victor buried his face in his arms and cried. 

* * *

 

Yuri couldn’t sleep… again. He tossed and turned on the bed, but couldn’t get comfortable. 

He missed Victor. 

Everything in him wanted to get in the lift and go up to the captain’s quarters. He wanted to beg forgiveness, feel the strong arms around him again. 

Yuri draped his arm over his eyes. “It’s better this way…”

Even he didn’t believe it. 

It had been several days. Victor had cornered him the day after, asking him to change his mind. 

Yuri had run, he couldn’t even speak for fear that he would agree. He knew his words would betray him… and ultimately Victor. 

“Computer,” Yuri asked of the darkened room. “How long until we reach the station?”

“Six days, eighteen hours, twenty-seven minutes, forty-three seconds at current speed.”

Yuri sighed. 

Almost a week. He had to avoid the love of his life for a week. 

“Does the hurt ever go away?” he asked. 

“Please restate query,” the computer replied. 

“Nevermind,” Yuri answered, rolling onto his side. 

He sighed and climbed out of bed. He padded out in the direction of the mess. 

“I’ll get some coffee, and try to finish those calculations for Sonders,” he muttered as he walked. “At least make myself as useful as possible while I’m up.”

The mess was dim as he approached the counter. “Um… hello?” 

A familiar face appeared around the corner from the kitchen. Yuri smiled at Chef. 

“Hey there young man,” Chef said.”What can I do for you?”

“Can I get a coffee please?”

Chef smiled. “Of course.” He strode over to where the coffee was kept and poured a mug for Yuri. “You like a bit of room for sugar, yes?”

“Please.”

“No cream?”

“No cream.”

Chef placed the mug and a container of sugar on the counter. Yuri sweetened his coffee and started toward the door. 

“You’re not sitting in the window?” Chef asked. 

Yuri paused, fighting back tears at the mention of his and Victor’s spot. “Ah… no…”

He took a few more steps. 

“Haven’t seen the Captain here at night lately either.”

Yuri had to focus to get his hand to stop shaking. “Tha… that’s interesting.”

A hand on his shoulder. Chef was guiding him to a nearby table. 

Yuri sat on instinct as the other man took a seat across from him. 

“Chef?”

Chef studied him for a minute. “I’ve known Victor for several years now,” he finally said. “When I first met him I thought him a brash upstart who was promoted far too quickly for his own good.”

Yuri set the mug on the table and clasped his hands in his lap so the other man wouldn’t see the tremble in them. 

“He proved me wrong,” Chef continued with a chuckle. “He’s worked hard and is a genius at what he does. But there’s a problem with brilliance. He’s always had to set himself apart. I never did see a lonelier man. He was completely dependent on his job for personal fulfillment, and there’s only so far that can take you. Eventually the praise and accolades become routine, and what you’re left with are a lot of missed opportunities.”

“Chef?” Yuri ventured. “Why… why are you telling me this?”

Chef smiled. “I see a lot of the same in you, but unlike him, you refuse to acknowledge your brilliance.”

“I’m not brilliant,” Yuri said, fidgeting under the table. “I nearly killed everybody.”

“Doesn’t seem that way to me,” Chef replied. 

“How?” Yuri begged. “It was my calculations that let the ship get so close, and I missed the signs of the flare until it was too late.”

“They’d have gotten as close as possible anyway,” Chef said. “And given how much the sensors struggled there’s still a possibility that the flare could have been missed even at a greater distance. Besides… nobody else saw the flare at all, and… From what I can tell you’re the one who saved us.”

“I…”

“I heard you’re going back to Earth,” Chef interrupted. 

Yuri nodded. 

“Is that really where you belong?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… You came out here for a reason, didn’t you? Won’t you find more out here than back on Earth?”

Yuri chewed his lip. “I’m a relic. The science has left me behind. If I’m lucky I’ll be able to teach an introductory astrophysics class on Earth.”

Chef narrowed his eyes. “I’m an old man, but it seems to me you have the time to catch up to anything you’re missing.”

Yuri smiled. “I’m older than you, you know.”

Chef laughed. “Only technically.”

Chef stood and put a hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “Do you know what keeps me here so late at night, and brings me in so early in the morning?”

Yuri shook his head. 

“This… cooking for the crew of a space vessel… it’s my passion. It’s a challenge that I love. I get to introduce Earth cuisine to new species, and sometimes I’m lucky enough to learn theirs in return. I get to ensure that everybody on this ship eats healthy. Once I got that taste of it as a young man I was hooked. I knew there was no place for me than out here, among the stars.”

Chef squeezed his shoulder. “Where do you belong young man? Is it really on Earth?”

Yuri looked up as Chef walked back into the kitchen. 

* * *

 

“Will you make station one-four-two according to your revised schedule?” Yakov asked. 

Victor nodded. “We’re still not at top speed, and will have to put in for extra repairs while we’re there. But we should arrive in three days.”

Yakov nodded. “I’ve shifted the assignment schedule of the sector to take into account your expected repairs. Take as long as you need.”

“Da.”

Yakov sighed. “You look tired Vitya.”

Victor managed a weak smile. “It’s been a rather stressful mission.”

Yakov growled. “It’s more than that. You’ve come out of scrapes in the past and not looked like this.”

Victor sighed. 

“Do I need to order you to take leave?” Yakov asked. 

Victor shook his head. “No… we’ll be in for repairs anyway. Chris and I will work out a schedule.”

“Good.” There was a pause. “Anything else to report?”

“No sir.”

“Acknowledged. I’ve requested a rush on some repair items, but they should be there in time for you to not get held up.”

“Anything else on your end?”

“We’ve found a transport for Mister Katsuki. It’s a smaller ship coming back to Earth.”

Victor’s breath caught and he could tell by Yakov’s expression that he noticed the strangled sound that escaped his throat. 

“I’ll have Chris tell him,” Victor said after a minute.

Yakov grunted in agreement. “Report in when you reach the station.”

“Da.”

Yakov nodded and the screen went dark. 

Victor leaned back and stared at the ceiling. A tear slid down his cheek before he angrily wiped it away.

The door chime sounded. “Come in.”

“How’d the call with the Admiral go?” Chris asked as he strode in. 

Victor sighed. 

“Better than I expected then,” Chris replied, sitting on the couch. 

“They found a ship for Yuri,” Victor said, barely keeping his voice from cracking. “Will you tell him for me?”

“Speaking of Yuri,” Chris said, standing and walking over. “This was found about an hour ago in the records from his escape pod. It’s for you.”

Victor looked to his friend and saw a pad in his hand. “What do you mean it’s for me?”

“I mean, it’s for you. It’s about Yuri.”

Victor looked to the ceiling again.

“Last I heard there weren’t psychics on that ship. It could be for anybody.”

“It’s not addressed to you by name, but it might as well be. It’s for the person who falls in love with Yuri.”

“Then it’s not for me. He’s made it clear that I’m not allowed to love him.”

“You really should watch it Victor.”

“And what would it change? Nothing!” Victor squeezed his eyes shut, fingernails curling into his palms. “He’s going to leave, probably for good, and there’s nothing I can do about it! So take the damn pad and attach the file to his record or something. In the meantime I’m just going to avoid him until he leaves, like I should have done in the first place.”

The pad clattered to the desk and Chris was halfway to the door before Victor sat up and stared. “Chris?”

“I can’t make you look at it,” Chris said. “But if you don’t, you don’t have a right to mope about him anymore.” He paused. “Tell him about the ship yourself.”

Victor gaped as Chris walked out.  

He stared at the pad for several minutes before finally picking it up. The screen lit up and there was only one file on the device. He opened it and was immediately greeted by the sight of a southeast Asian man in an environmental suit. 

Victor let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He’d seen that face before, during the mission briefing for the black hole: Phichit Chulanont… Yuri’s husband. 

Victor’s hand was shaking as he pressed the ‘play’ icon.

Phichit moved about an obviously tiny room, checking the seal around a door before sitting in front of the recorder on his end. He pulled the helmet off his environmental suit and shook his head to clear sweat-stuck hair from his forehead. 

“I don’t know how long the oxygen in here will last,” Phichit said. “But I didn’t have much left in the suit anyway. I also don’t know if this message will reach the escape pod, but I have to try.”

Victor could hear the distinct sounds of a ship buckling in the background of the file. 

“I want to tell you about Yuri,” Phichit started, glancing up at a loud popping noise. “I have no doubt that somebody else will see him for all that he is as soon as he’s rescued. My hope is that he finds the love he deserves on the ship that rescues him. But no matter when or where you are, I hope that this message reaches you, the one who loves my dear Yuri.

“Yuri is the sweetest, kindest, stubbornest and most beautiful person I’ve ever known. I love him with all my heart. But... I also know my husband,” Phichit continued, “and he is one of the most frustrating people you will ever meet.”

Victor couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped. 

Another groan from the dying ship, and Phichit turned sharply toward the sound. 

“I’m running out of time,” he muttered before continuing. “I wish I had the time to tell you everything that’s wonderful about Yuri, like the way he takes several minutes each morning before remembering anything other than Japanese, or the cute way he squeaks when I give him a surprise hug. But you’ll have to find them all for yourself, maybe even find things that I didn’t.”

Phichit paused and looked around the room. The sounds of buckling were getting louder around him. 

“I think the most important thing I have to say is that… if you love him, you’re going to have to fight for him,” he said. “Yuri… he has a hard time accepting his own happiness. He doesn’t recognize his brilliance, and thinks that everything he’s earned is due either to luck or a perceived riding on coattails. And I have the feeling that with everything that’s happened here, that it’ll be even more pronounced.”

Phichit took a deep breath. “I’m getting a bit dizzy, I think a seal has given way. 

“If you love Yuri, believe in him, more than he believes in himself. His anxiety makes him believe things about himself that aren’t true, and you’re going to have to push past that, especially at first. But I promise, he’s worth the heartache he brings. I know at times it may not seem like it, but one day you’ll wake up and see his smile, and every hard fought moment makes sense.”

A loud crack sounded from the recording. 

“That sounds like one of the deck supports. I should end this. But let me say it again. Fight for him, believe in him. Make Yuri face the fact that happiness is right there, and that he deserves it. Make him see beyond the horizon of his anxiety.”

Victor felt a tear rolling down his cheek. 

Another loud sound, and Phichit visibly paled. 

“I’m scared… I don’t want to be alone now, but I know that letting him go was the right thing to do. Love him for me, every day. Hold him, kiss him, and give him the one thing I could never be, a person to love in return.”

Phichit paused and wiped a tear of his own. “And… put a ring on it. Grab onto him and never let go. His anxiety will tell him that he doesn’t deserve love, and that there is somebody better for you. Make it real for him. Be selfish with your heart, and make him see what  _ you _ want, or he might try to decide what’s best.”

Phichit was openly crying. “I love him. Please… please, grant a dying man one last wish. If you love him, and he loves you, hold him tight and never let go. Do this for me, because I love him with all my heart, and all I want for him is the happiness that he deserves.”

Phichit reached out, and the recording stopped. 

Victor realized that he was crying. He wiped his tears, and suddenly understood why Chris had walked out so angrily. 

He’d almost let the most important person in his life slip away. He’d almost denied a dead man his final wish. 

Victor stood and strode for the door. He could feel Chris’s eyes on him as he rushed to the lift. He needed to find Yuri. 

“Deck ten,” he stated.

Chris smiled at him as the doors closed. 

Yuri’s quarters made the most sense. Astrophysics was still down, most of the staff working to repair the lab. But Yuri had a mini-lab of his own, and he knew Emil and Sonders were keeping him busy doing what he did best. 

Victor started jogging as the doors opened again. 

_ Yuri… _

Confused glances from his crew as his speed increased to running. 

_ Yuri… _

He was in the calmer corridors of the living areas. He slowed as he approached Yuri’s door. Then it was the only thing between them. 

His hand shook as he reached out to press the chime. 

“Come in.” 

Victor took a deep breath and crossed the threshold. 

“Vi… Victor!” Yuri said as soon as he saw him. “What are you…?”

Victor walked close, but held back from what he really wanted. 

“They found a ship for you,” Victor said softly. 

“O… ok…”

“Let me cancel it.”

Yuri chewed his lip. He shook his head. 

“Is this really what you want Yuri?”

Yuri turned away. “I have to…”

“Why?”

Silence. 

“Yuri, what do you want for yourself?”

Yuri’s head came up, and there were tears in his eyes as he looked at Victor with such longing it hurt. 

Victor took the few steps that separated them and pulled Yuri into his arms. 

“Victor! What are you…?”

Yuri didn’t have a chance to finish his question, cut off as Victor pressed their lips together. 

Yuri both whined and leaned into the kiss. 

Yuri was crying when Victor pulled back. 

“What do you want Yuri?” Victor demanded. “What’s in your heart? Do you really want to go?”

Yuri’s eyes widened, and tears slid down his cheeks. His lips trembled with unspoken words. 

“Stay,” Victor murmured. He leaned in and rested their foreheads together. “Stay Yuri. This ship needs you…  _ I _ need you. I love you.”

Yuri swallowed. 

“Marry me Yuri.”

Yuri’s knees buckled, and Victor knelt along with him, holding him to his chest as he sobbed. 

“I love you Yuri,” Victor murmured into his hair. “I love you, and I’ll never love anybody as much as I love you. Stay. Marry me. I know it’s still too soon, but I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait as long as you need, because  _ I _ need  _ you. _ ”

Yuri… nodding into his chest. 

“Is that a yes?” Victor dared to ask. 

Yuri looked up. “Yes. Yes. I’ll stay. I’ll marry you.”

Victor was crying and laughing as he kissed Yuri again. 

“I love you, I love you,” Victor said, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“I love you too,” Yuri cried before burying his face in Victor’s shoulder. 

They held each other, curling together as they knelt on the floor.

“What am I going to do though?” Yuri finally asked. 

“Anything you want solnyshko,” Victor replied, kissing Yuri’s hair and holding his head to his chest. “Emil and Sonders both have told me they want you in astrophysics if you stay.”

“Really?”

Victor nodded and pressed kisses to his hair. 

“Are you sure?”

Victor took Yuri’s shoulders and pushed him back just enough to look into his eyes. “Yuri. You’re brilliant. Let yourself do what you do best.”

Yuri smiled, like the sun bursting over the horizon at dawn, and buried his face against Victor’s chest again. 

“I’m never going to let you go again,” Victor murmured against his hair, arms tight around the man he loved. 

They sat there, both unwilling to move-- to put even an inch more space between them. 

“Victor…”

VIctor chuckled. “I think it’s time you start calling me Vitya.”

“Vitya?”

Victor nodded against Yuri’s hair. “It’s a Russian thing, more personal.”

Yuri nodded. “Ok… Vitya.”

Victor hummed softly. 

“Vitya?”

“Hmm?”

“What… what is that word you keep calling me? Sol… solnysh…?’

“Solnyshko?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Victor lifted Yuri’s chin. “It means little sun.”

“Little sun?”

Victor smiled and nodded. “Yuri. My life was dark before you arrived, but you filled it with light. And when I thought I was going to lose you, I was almost consumed by the darkness again. You are my light, like the sun for me alone.”

Yuri’s cheeks dusted crimson. 

“Never stop lighting my life,” Victor murmured before kissing Yuri. 

“Ok.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> One Chapter Left!
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuri prepare to embark on their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it ya'll, the final chapter. Thank you so much for all your support for this fic over the past few months. It's meant a lot that you all enjoyed it so much. 
> 
>  
> 
> If you've been enjoying this work please click the share button up above and spread the love. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

##  **~1 Year Later~**

Victor stretched and stood from the desk in his quarters, listening to the subtle pops as his body complained from sitting too long. He looked at the time and wondered if Yuri was still awake, however a glance toward the bedroom answered that question as light streamed through the door. 

Victor smiled, making his way quietly to peer in and watch his fiance. Yuri knelt in front of the butsudan, head bowed and haloed by the filter-safe incense. 

He knocked a couple times on the doorframe to gently announce his presence, having learned that Yuri was easy to startle when in a contemplative mood. 

Yuri said something softly as he finished. He turned and smiled, climbing to his feet.

Victor walked in and swept Yuri into his arms, pressing kisses to his face and down his neck. Yuri hummed happily into the touch, sprinkling as many return kisses as he could.  

“You glad to be home?” Victor murmured as he tucked Yuri against his chest.

“Home is wherever you are,” Yuri replied softly before realizing what he said and buried his face against Victor’s shoulder. 

Victor chuckled and kissed Yuri’s hair. “I feel the same solnyshko.”

Yuri looked up, blush dusting his cheeks and a fond smile on his face. 

Victor returned the smile and brushed his thumb over Yuri’s cheek. “Excited to see how things have changed?”

Yuri nodded. “That… and slip into the onsen again. That’s one thing that I miss.”

Victor huffed a laugh. “As much as you’ve talked about it I’m excited too. That, and the family katsudon recipe.”

“I hope you like Japan,” Yuri said softly, worrying his lip. 

Victor leaned in to kiss him. “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

They made their way toward the bed, kissing as they undressed. They ground against each other, hard cocks against skin, making pleasure spark through Victor. 

“You wanna top tonight?” Victor purred when they ended a long series of kisses standing beside the bed. 

Yuri blushed. “Are you sure?”

Victor smiled. “Seems fair. I made love to you our first time together, so you should make love to me the last time before we’re married.”

“Married…” Yuri said, and Victor saw tears at the corners of his eyes. 

“Are you ok?” Victor asked softly, kissing the tears away.

Yuri nodded. “Just… it’s really happening.”

Victor’s smile widened. “It’s happening. No running away now.”

Yuri grinned and pulled Victor into a kiss. “No more running, unless it’s into your arms.”

“That’s the best kind of running,” Victor agreed. 

They kissed for several minutes, fingers dancing over skin until Victor shivered with goosebumps. He let his lips trail across Yuri’s cheek and caught the shell of his ear between his teeth. “Show me your eros, Yuri.”

A catch in Yuri’s breath, then he pulled back just enough so Victor could look into his eyes. He made a show of sweeping his hair back from his forehead and his soft brown eyes darkened and hardened in lust. 

Another shiver went up Victor’s spine as Yuri’s tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

Yuri rose on his toes, breath ghosting over Victor’s ear. “I’ll make you drown in pleasure.”

Victor groaned, cock getting impossibly harder. 

A hand against his chest and Victor fell back onto the bed. Yuri immediately straddled him, peppering kisses along his neck and collar. 

Yuri moved down, mouth leaving trails of liquid flame on Victor’s skin wherever it touched, and Victor arched into the inferno of his lips. He moaned as teeth and tongue teased his nipples and gasped at the nips to his stomach. Then Yuri was sucking a mark on the inside of his thigh, and he cried out. 

“I wish I could mark you all over. Let the world know you’re mine...” Yuri purred as he laid between Victor’s thighs. “But I think the admiral would disapprove of you having them during your wedding.”

“Fuck… Yuri…” Victor moaned. 

A chuckle, then a tongue on his cock at the same time a lubed finger pressed inside. 

Victor couldn’t even remember when Yuri had stopped long enough to grab the lube. 

Victor’s fingers curled into the sheets as he restrained himself from bucking into the delicious heat of Yuri’s mouth. “Ah… Yuri!”

A chuckle around his length made him gasp, then Yuri’s fingers curled inside and Victor cried out, thrusting and hitting the back of Yuri’s throat. 

An appreciative moan in return, and Yuri started bobbing while teasing Victor open. 

Yuri sucked and moaned, the vibrations exciting every bit of Victor’s cock, while his fingers danced inside and made him writhe in pleasure. Victor couldn’t help himself as he grabbed Yuri’s hair, fingers tangling in the strands, and held him there. 

Soon it was too much. “Yuri.. solnyshko… I’m…”

Yuri growled and curled his fingers just right in response, making Victor see white as he came. 

Victor felt boneless, hands limp at his sides as he came back to himself. His eyes cracked open and he saw a seductive smirk on Yuri’s face, the other man kneeling between his legs. 

Yuri thumbed a drop of cum that had escaped his mouth and licked it off, humming as his eyes roamed over Victor, making him shiver again. 

VIctor managed to lift his head just enough to see Yuri’s cock, standing proud and ready. He watched as Yuri made a show of lubing it up. 

“I’ll need to be able to walk for the rehearsal tomorrow,” Victor said as his head fell back on the pillow, Yuri’s cock teasing at his entrance. He was already anticipating the stamina fueled night ahead. 

Yuri chuckled as he started to push in. “You’ll be able to walk… but I don’t know how well.”

Victor’s back arched as Yuri filled him. “Yuri!”

Yuri leaned in as they adjusted and captured Victor’s lips in a searing kiss. 

Victor moaned, tasting himself on Yuri’s lips. His cock twitched with renewed interest. 

“I love you,” Victor murmured as they parted. 

Yuri smiled. “I love you too.” The smile turned into a seductive smirk. “Let’s see if we can strain the motion stabilizers.”

Victor moaned again as Yuri started thrusting.

* * *

 

Victor fidgeted with the sleeves of his dress uniform. He peered out at the assembled crowd that filled the ship’s mess. 

“Is our surprise for Yuri in place?” he asked Chris.

Chris chuckled. “I handled it myself. But are you sure?”

Victor smiled. “I think it’s only right.”

“Ok.”

Victor pulled at the sleeve again. 

Chris grabbed his hand. “Stop that.”

Victor blushed. “Sorry, nervous.”

“He’s not going to run again,” Chris stated. 

Victor chuckled. “Can’t blame me for worrying though.”

“That was before. Ever since you asked him to stay he’s only grown more in love with you.”

Victor smiled. 

Mila poked her head out of the mess. “They’re ready.”

Victor nodded. They waited for Mila to find her seat again, then he and Chris strode to the front of the room, near the windows that meant so much to him and Yuri. 

Chris took the spot for the officiant, and Victor could just make out the disgruntled look from Yakov at not being asked to do the honors. 

Victor’s eyes flicked to the empty chairs in the front row of Yuri’s side. Three were reserved for the triplets, but the frontmost, the one Yuri couldn’t miss held only a single photograph, of Phichit Chulanont. 

They owed their happiness to the Thai man, who had cared so much for Yuri that he’d sent him out on his own. Who’d wanted his happiness so much that he’d sent messages to ensure that his anxiety didn’t prevent the future he deserved. 

It was only proper that he be represented. 

Yuri’s music started, an old duet in Italian. A hush fell among their friends, all eyes turning to the other door. 

Victor stood a bit straighter, and forced himself to keep his arms at his sides. 

The giggling of three old ladies preceded the appearance of Victor’s groom. Then Yuri appeared, resplendent in a cream-colored suit with purple tie. Flanking him were the triplets, each in a different pastel colored dress. 

“Who gives this man to be wed in matrimony?” Chris asked as they approached the dais. 

“Well he was  _ going _ to give himself,” said the woman in the middle. Victor thought she was Axel. 

“But we couldn’t have that,” said the one in blue, Lutz. 

“So as Yuri’s oldest living friends we took it upon ourselves to give him,” finished Loop. 

Then with a motion obviously practiced between the three of them but unknown to Yuri they gave him a push from behind. 

“Wha…?” Yuri asked as he stumbled forward. 

“Go get your man Uncle Yuri!” Axel said with a grin before leading her sisters to their seats. 

Yuri turned to give the women a look, then his eyes landed on the photo. Scolding dying on the tip of his tongue he turned to Victor, eyes wide. 

“Vitya?” he asked. 

Victor took his hands and kissed his knuckles. “It’s only fair he’s here too. He did so much for us.”

Yuri smiled even as tears slid down his cheek. 

Victor reached out and wiped them away. “You’ll make me cry too if you start now.”

Yuri laughed, and Yakov cleared his throat. 

Chris chuckled and stepped forward. 

“It is a rare and privileged honor for the captain of a vessel to conduct a wedding aboard his or her ship. It is a time of joy for the ship and her crew, and the bright spot for many commanders. 

“It’s an even rarer honor for the first officer to conduct the ceremonies. It means that the captain has found a love to rival that of their duties, has found something to cherish more than the crew and the adventure that comes with the job. 

“Therefore it is with great joy that I welcome you all to witness the joining of Captain Victor Nikiforov and Yuri Katsuki in the bonds of matrimony.”

Chris smiled between them. “Now, most would pause here and ask for reasons that these two should not be wed, but anybody who’s spoken to Mr. Katsuki knows that his anxiety fills in those reasons for him.”

A nervous chuckle sounded through the room. 

“So, instead I’d like to ask for reasons why they  _ should _ be wed,” Chris finished. “Give us all the reasons these two should spend the rest of their lives together. Within reasonable time of course.” He winked to the audience.

Yurio immediately stood. “They’re gross together, but miserable when they’re apart. I’d rather have them gross than miserable.”

Laughter sounded as Mila stood. “They make each other stronger, and at the same time provide one another the space to be weak. We should all hope for such a love.”

Sonders was next. “They’re like a pair of binary stars, orbiting each other and no force can pull them apart.”

Lutz was next. “We can list every reason large and small, but at the end of the day the one that truly matters is that they make each other happy.”

Applause as people nodded. 

Chris smiled. “I’m sure there are more, but I do believe that such a statement should be the one we remember most. They do make each other happy, and may they always do so.”

Chris paused. “I remember the first day that Yuri was on board the Galilei. Victor was smitten from the start. He told me that he was in love even before Yuri had properly awakened. At the time I didn’t know how true that statement was, but every day their love has only grown. 

“Oh there were tough times early on, but they kept coming together, and now we stand here on the day of their wedding, and those tribulations are minor in comparison to the joys that lay ahead of them.”

Chris looked around at the crew and guests. “Now, the grooms have chosen to write their own vows. So without further ado…”

Victor reached out and took Yuri’s hands in his. “Yuri, solnyshko, from the moment I laid eyes on you my heart belonged to you and you alone, and my love for you has only grown each day since. 

“It’s impossible to tell what the future brings, and this life we’ve chosen isn’t an easy one. But to you I vow this: I will strive to ensure that our lives are rich in rich in joy, and poor in sorrow. I vow to stand beside you through whatever this universe throws at us. I vow to remain with you through the end of my days. Yuri Katsuki, I love you.”

Tears were streaming down Yuri’s face even as he smiled. He sniffled and retrieved his hand just long enough to dab away the tears with a kerchief. “Vitya, I don’t remember calling you an angel, but I trust you that I said it. And every day you’ve lived up to that standard. You’ve stayed beside me even when I doubted myself, and led me to see what you see. Every night I go to bed thinking it’s impossible to love you any more than I already do, and each morning I wake up with more room in my heart to be filled with the joys of that day. 

“I… Vitya… You call me your little sun, and you remind me every day how much light I bring into your life. I may not always believe in myself, but I vow to always strive to be that light. I know there will be cloudy days, but I vow to believe in you and your love for me. I vow to stand beside you for the rest of my life.”

Victor blinked back tears as he stared at the man in front of him. He took his hands again and bumped his thumbs over his knuckles.

“Do you have the rings?” Chris asked. 

Victor nodded as Yakov stood and handed over the rings. Victor’s hand hovered over Yuri’s as he held the ring. 

“Victor Nikiforov, do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Then place the ring upon his hand as a symbol of your undying love and devotion.”

Victor noticed the tremble in Yuri’s fingers as he slid on the ring. He gave a supportive squeeze.

Chris handed the other ring to Yuri. 

“Yuri Katsuki, do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?”

Yuri nodded. “I do.”

“Then place the ring upon his hand as a symbol of your undying love and devotion.”

Cool metal against Victor’s skin as Yuri slid the ring onto his finger. 

Cheers through the crowd as Chris turned and retrieved the marriage certificate, one of the few paper documents still in use. He laid it out with a flourish and placed pens beside it. 

“This document binds you together in more than the bonds of love. It is a symbol to the government and generations to come that you are family by choice.”

Victor and Yuri picked up their pens together, each signing their name to the document. 

“And the witnesses?” Chris asked as the grooms stood. 

Axel stood, as did Yakov. They stepped forward and took their pens. They signed and returned to their seats. 

“It’s official now,” Chris said with a wink. “No more running Yuri.”

Yuri blushed, leaned forward and rested his forehead against Victor’s chest. 

Victor chuckled and ran his hands up and down his back. 

“Now, with the power vested in me by the United Earth Space Forces it is my honor and joy to declare you legally wed. You may kiss the groom.”

Victor tipped Yuri’s chin up and smiled. “Ready for the rest of our lives love?”

Yuri smiled and nodded. 

Victor leaned in and pressed their lips together. 

Applause sounded around them. 

“May I present the grooms,” Chris announced. “Mr. and Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov.”

The applause got louder as Victor swept his husband into his arms and spun them around. 

An announcement sounded over the ship’s communication system. 

“Attention all hands,” Otabek said. “The captain is now officially wed. All stations are at light duty so that personnel may attend the celebrations around the ship.”

Victor looked down at the man in his arms. “Ready for the rest of our lives love?”

Yuri smiled and nodded. 

Victor turned and wrapped his arms around Yuri’s wrists, pulling him down the aisle. “Let’s go then!”

Yuri’s laughter bubbled up behind him as he ran.”Vitya! Slow down!”

Victor turned, grin pulling on his lips. “Why?”

Yuri tugged him back and kissed him again. “Why rush? We have time.”

Victor smiled against his lips. “Because I can’t wait any longer. I want to start my life as your husband.”

Yuri smiled and ran his fingers through Victor’s fringe. “I love you.”

Victor smiled and kissed his husband again. “I love you too. Now let’s party.”

Yuri giggled as he was pulled toward the lift and the first reception room, the sound settling over Victor’s heart. 

Yuri and him, together forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate any comments, kudos or shares. 
> 
> Satisfying ending?
> 
> I'm already hard at work on my next project, an OtaYuri A/B/O AU that features older Yurio and Otabek, and has Yurio running from new restrictive laws placed on Russian omegas. I'll be dropping some details over the next few days on my tumblr, so follow me over there if that's your thing. 
> 
> Head over to tumblr and yell at me about Yuri On Ice at [phoenixwaller.tumblr.com](http://phoenixwaller.tumblr.com)
> 
> Find my other YoI fanfics on my AO3 profile at <http://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixwaller/profile>


End file.
